Useless Thread MDCCCXXXI - This thread sucks
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Siamese Dream
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Shows or movies about soccerballs just tend to not work very well for whatever reason.
Americans love a movie about Handegg or baseball or basketball and there's a few significant hockey movies.
But even in England the only soccerballs thing which was anything resembling a success and became part of the cultural zeitgeist was Bend it Like Beckham, which was just about a female from an ethnic minority overcoming cultural and social barriers, it doesn't get anywhere near trying to tackle the pro game like a lot of American sports movies and series do
Americans love a movie about Handegg or baseball or basketball and there's a few significant hockey movies.
But even in England the only soccerballs thing which was anything resembling a success and became part of the cultural zeitgeist was Bend it Like Beckham, which was just about a female from an ethnic minority overcoming cultural and social barriers, it doesn't get anywhere near trying to tackle the pro game like a lot of American sports movies and series do
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Google "movies about soccer".
Top recommendation is "Popular football movies".
I literally said soccer, you dipshits
I was going to say I can think of only two American soccer movies, Kicking & Screaming and Ladybugs
Top recommendation is "Popular football movies".
I literally said soccer, you dipshits
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I was going to say I can think of only two American soccer movies, Kicking & Screaming and Ladybugs
Siamese Dream
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This sketch perfectly sums up what it's like when people try to make sports movies without knowing enough about it lol
"I only used to coach the Man United team, the year they won the European Cricket Cup"
"You won't be saying that when you have to play the West Indies in the 2nd round. They've won the ashes every year since they beat the Dallas Cowboys in 1978"
Bend it Like Beckham is literally the only popular actual soccerballs film outside of the ones about hooliganism like Green Street (featuring Elijah Wood) and The Football Factory
"I only used to coach the Man United team, the year they won the European Cricket Cup"
"You won't be saying that when you have to play the West Indies in the 2nd round. They've won the ashes every year since they beat the Dallas Cowboys in 1978"
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Bend it Like Beckham is literally the only popular actual soccerballs film outside of the ones about hooliganism like Green Street (featuring Elijah Wood) and The Football Factory
John Price
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Siamese Dream
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American journalism student Matt Buckner (Elijah Wood) moves in with his sister and her family in London. There, he meets football hooligan Pete Dunham (Charlie Hunnam), who introduces him to his rough tribal world, where supporters of opposing teams battle each other before and after games. But Pete's lieutenant, Bovver (Leo Gregory), suspects Matt's motives and inadvertently reopens a years-old rivalry between Pete's brother (Marc Warren) and the leader of a rival gang (Geoff Bell).
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I'll just say it, Adam Sandler ruined sports movies by having literally the entire movie be a comedy.
Happy Gilmore isn't a golf movie. Tin Cup is a golf movie.
Happy Gilmore isn't a golf movie. Tin Cup is a golf movie.
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party like it's 1999
At least movies like Major League and White Men Can't Jump treated their sport with some kind of seriousness.
Meanwhile, shit like The Waterboy practically makes a farce out of football. Look, this sheltered moron can be a great football player, not because he learned the game, but because he is capable of going into a blind fury.
Meanwhile, shit like The Waterboy practically makes a farce out of football. Look, this sheltered moron can be a great football player, not because he learned the game, but because he is capable of going into a blind fury.
Siamese Dream
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I'm not going to lie, all the Adam Sandler comedy sports movies are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine lol, but probably helps that I'm not a fan of those sports. I tend not to like any of his non-sports comedy movies though for whatever reason.
Big fan of White Men Can't Jump though as well
Big fan of White Men Can't Jump though as well
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Happy Gilmore is a great golfer because has a very powerful drive. Literally no other aspects of golf matter.
Oh wait, he became great at putting by going to a minigolf place once.
That's what I mean by making a farce out of the entire sport.
Oh wait, he became great at putting by going to a minigolf place once.
That's what I mean by making a farce out of the entire sport.
Kairi Zaide
Unforgiven
Siamese Dream
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Isn't that completely true of handegg though
Like people who are freakish athletes can not play handegg their entire lives and do something else but still get drafted to the NFL or get contracts. Like Christian Wade who was a shite rugby player but was a fast boy so got some exhibition games with the Buffalo Bills or that British discus thrower who got drafted.
The only position where you need to have played your entire life to succeed seems to be Quarter Back because it's the one position which actually needs handegg IQ and to make decisions for yourself and you can't just be told where to stand and where to run by the coach
John Price
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Was going to go to bar but people waiting outside the caps practice facility for autographs might as well chill
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Occasionally, an NFL team will offer a tryout to an international talent that's never played football, but I can't think of a time where the player made the main roster and had a substantial career.
Freak talent will only take someone so far once they're playing against the best. Nothing can make up for the years, possibly even decades, of experience that every other player has.
(Granted, that doesn't take into account certain sheltered positions, such as placekicker or designated hitter, where they only have one role.)
Siamese Dream
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But it still seems to be the one team sport where you can actually make a good go of it and play to a good standard even if you don't make the NFL main roster while in most other team sports it's nigh on impossible if you haven't played from a young age. So it's not really that unrealistic to believe that the waterboy could play college handegg at least.
*Ignoring all the individual sports like for example where the Great Britain programme will waste a load of money taking a failed female track and field athlete and teaching them how to slide down a tunnel on a metal tray (the skeleton bobsled) and then go on about "dare to dream" and "this girl can" and other such slogans even though the facilities don't actually exist in this country for young girls to take up those sports because all the training is done in Austria or Norway or something because they've just identified that it's an easy medal to win at the winter olympics for a bit of prestige
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Disney even made a movie where Tony Danza became the kicker for the Philadelphia Eagles
Siamese Dream
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Most rugby kickers could probably easily kick in the NFL, it would take a bit of time to get used to the slightly different shaped ball but it wouldn't be hard
Remember when that college handegg team let a woman soccer player do a kick off
Remember when that college handegg team let a woman soccer player do a kick off
John Price
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Siamese Dream
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Imagine Frans Steyn in the NFL, I know he gets to take his time but he shows with his drop goals that he doesn't really need it and can do it under pressure in open play
John Price
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Siamese Dream
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Rememeber when Usain Bolt thought he could play pro soccerballs after he retired from Athletics lmao
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party like it's 1999
In The Waterboy, they joke about how Bobby has no understanding of football and he just tries to tackle whoever has the ball.
Any opposing coach would be able to scheme against a one-dimensional player like that, unless that player was a coked up Lawrence Taylor in his prime.
Any opposing coach would be able to scheme against a one-dimensional player like that, unless that player was a coked up Lawrence Taylor in his prime.
Siamese Dream
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But would Adam Sandler have been able to put together a rag tag group of convicts to beat the guards in real life
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