#IHate@JackSlater is trending. Knew I should have taken Gunther first round.
Oh I’ve SEEN the hate out there! Oh, yeah it’s been hard to live with, man! PISS, MOAN, CRY, and WHINE, leshabs. Two long years, and your butt is mine! No marks! No scars! No blemishes on the Jackster, brother! But inside, man, I’ve been scarred for two long years. Everywhere I go, man, all the little Jacksters ask me, "Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial vote? Jackster, did you really beat leshabs unanimously? Did you really beat the Milwaukee Suck?"
Well today, man, in HFboards Wrestling Draft XI, we’re gonna wipe all that controversy out. Leshabs, in the first round, when you’re fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I’m gonna prove, brother, that I can beatcha anywhere, anytime! And all my Jackamaniacs, they’re gonna feel it tooooo!
Are there questions with all eyes on my every draft pick? YES! But if you look in their eyes, man, have you seen the fear in all those little Jacksters? They realize that when I get leshabs cinched up in the launch position, when I SLAM him through the Sears Tower, brother, from Chicago, over to Milwaukee, and then all the way to New York City the fault line is gonna break off! And as leshabs falls into the ocean, as my next two opponents fall to the ocean floor and I pin em, so will HANDSOMEHOLLYWOOD and ALL THE JACKAMANIACS!
But as HandsomeHollywood hangs on to the top of the Sears Tower, with his family under his other arm, as they SINK, to the BOTTOM OF THE SEA THANK GOD HandsomeHollywood’s a Jackamaniac! He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kid, DOG PADDLE with his life all the way to safety! But Handsome, if somethin happens, if you run outta gas, and all those little Jackamaniacs, just hang on to the LARGEST BACK in the world, and I’ll dog paddle us, BACKSTROKE all of us to safety!