Spencer Knight was in players assistance program to deal with OCD

[ManofSteel55]

In a matter of a few years we went from guys playing on broken legs to others quitting on their team for this...

In a matter of a few years it went from being okay to make fun of people for mental health issues, to being absolutely not okay to make comments like yours.

 

[Coaches Coroner]

Wonder how many ignore lists you end up on over this idiotic post. Maybe some kind of hf record

his HF account will finally resemble his facebook account.

 

[abo9]

And this is why people really need to stop throwing around legit mental health terms for minor annoyances. It waters down the severity of the actual condition.

Its not like it cannot be a spectrum, but yeah I wonder. Many people go around talking about their undiagnosed mental health issues, I bet those throwing it at every occasion don't necessarily "suffer from" the issue as much (or at all) compared to those severely on the spectrum.

We dont call it "suffer from" for no reason. Those issues can be delibitating and lead to life changing decisions. Look at Knight for example... without reaching out for help, he might just have walked from an NHL career. Not on the same realm as "oh yeah this pile of clothes wasnt folded correctly it annoyed me a little bit".

 

[LemonSauceD]

The constant loop. The constant fight or flight mode whenever an intrusive thought pops up. It is so mentally taxing. It’s like you’re the rear passenger to your own life. You wake up, your obsessions is the first literal thought. You indulge in compulsions to alleviate the unwanted thought. It works for a couple of minutes, and then the thought pops in your head again. You then start to ruminate trying to explain why you think you had the thought, and you try to solve it. You engage in further compulsions only for the obsession to come back even stronger. Constant tug of war and then suddenly you just went through the whole day in this cycle. You go to bed, you manage to sleep a little bit, you wake up, and the cycle repeats itself.

The way OCD is portrayed in the media as some sort of ordering/numbering obsession is just a gross misunderstanding of what OCD really is. OCD has so many different themes.

 

[Stive Morgan]

Yeah I feel like the common misconception is that it's some minor thing. People (me included) will say "Oh it's my OCD" because a sign is crooked or something and they fix it and forget about it 5 seconds later. It's much more severe and deeper than that the more I have learned.

100%. It takes me 3 hours to get ready for work and an additional 30 minutes after I'm "ready" just to make sure I did all my rituals correctly and in the right order. If I don't I'll literally be shaking on the drive to work.

 

[DaaaaB's]

What the f*** is wrong with you?

After reading his posts over the years, I would say the answer to your question is a lot.

 

[57special]

In a matter of a few years we went from guys playing on broken legs to others quitting on their team for this...

You think you’re being funny, but you’re just showing your ignorance. OCD can be debilitating, and life changing both for the person afflicted, and those around them.

Wish Knight the best. getting treatment early in life might help? I don’t know, the family member who has it is in old age, and has suffered from it for decades, but absolutely refuses to be seen for treatment.

 

[Poppy Whoa Sonnet]

Best of luck to the kid, hope the system works and he can have a long NHL career as a result.

 

[dirtydanglez]

Knight said all of it started in 2019 when he was a freshman at Boston College. For reasons he can’t explain, he started excessively washing his hands.

covid related? unfortunate timing if this developed months before a global pandemic.

 

[LemonSauceD]

covid related? unfortunate timing if this developed months before a global pandemic.

Being isolated surely doesn’t help too.

 

[DuklaNation]

I've had employees with similar traits. Had to apply strict time limits on tasks in order for them to overcome their OCD as it was actually preventing them from doing their job/completing assignments.

 

[FrozenJagrt]

Players aren’t participating on this site.

Not openly anyway.

That's something I wonder about and I'm sorry that this is off topic but I wanna ask about it.

There are some high profile people that have posted on this site. Sometimes incognito, and sometimes I imagine a mod might know that "BillySnipeShow69" is actually William Nylander (as a made up example).

So how would that be dealt with? If I were to say that Nylander is an ugly stupid useless piece of trash, wouldn't that be viewed as an attack on another member? Or is it okay because he's incognito?

Forgive the silliness of the question, but it's summer and I'm curious.

 

[Bear of Bad News]

Not openly anyway.

That's something I wonder about and I'm sorry that this is off topic but I wanna ask about it.

There are some high profile people that have posted on this site. Sometimes incognito, and sometimes I imagine a mod might know that "BillySnipeShow69" is actually William Nylander (as a made up example).

So how would that be dealt with? If I were to say that Nylander is an ugly stupid useless piece of trash, wouldn't that be viewed as an attack on another member? Or is it okay because he's incognito?

Forgive the silliness of the question, but it's summer and I'm curious.

I can confirm that there are current and former players posting here.

If they'd like to be anonymous, then that's their business.

Even if they want to be public-facing, reasonable hockey critique would still be in bounds (although it's a moot point currently).

 

[Raccoon Jesus]

What's really good about Knight being open about it is raising awareness and removing the stigma, meaning hopefully others will get help as well.

I mean we all know that one post is gonna be a pinata but there are plenty of people (including myself) that are pretty low-knowledge on how debilitating said condition can actually be, it's eye-opening.

Great for Knight for getting help AND for being helpful.

 

[Mike C]

Call me crazy but I cannot picture a pro hockey player asking Mike Keenan or Scotty Bowman a day off for a hand washing issue.

The smart guy would make up a believable lie and take the day off anyway

if a person needs help, no matter what the reason, God Bless them. It takes courage to admit a problem and even more to seek a solution and want to get better

 

[Ezekial]

covid related? unfortunate timing if this developed months before a global pandemic.

Covid wasn't really a "real" thing over here until 2020

Specifically like March/April 2020

 

[dirtydanglez]

Covid wasn't really a "real" thing over here until 2020

Specifically like March/April 2020

i remember hearing about it in january 2020 but dont know how much was known prior to that.

 

[Ezekial]

i remember hearing about it in january 2020 but dont know how much was known prior to that.

It originated the last ~5 weeks of 2019 in China

January 9th, 2020 it covid pnemonia was announced with like 50-something cases in China

The first case in USA was confirmed January 21, 2020

March 11 WHO calls Covid a pandemic and NBA pauses season (NHL pauses March 12)

March 13th Trump declares National Emergency

 

[Bear of Bad News]

We can talk about Bill Durnan, Frank McCool or many other goaltenders back in the day who left the game because of behavioral ailments.

But the most direct example I can think of is 1982 playoff hero Mike Moffat, who ultimately left the sport because "at 22, he had had enough - of the pressure, of his inability to adjust to it, most of all the nervous attacks that left him with chronic headaches and perpetual insomnia."

If there'd been public awareness back then (and God forbid a program like Knight was able to take advantage of), perhaps Moffat would have thrived under a pretty solid Bruins defensive system that made goaltenders look pretty nice. As it stands, 95% of the folks reading this are either saying "Mike Moffat who?" or "Well, he couldn't have been that good if he had to quit."

Thank God that we're not in an era where we're just told to pour some Budweiser on it and move forward. "It's all in your head." "Aren't you strong?"

Horseshit.

I'm one of many goaltenders I know that have been diagnosed clinically with obsessive-compulsive disorder. 95% of the time, I'm thinking about literally the worst possible outcome in any situation. Whatever you think I'm thinking about, rest assured that it's worse, and I'm trying to mitigate against it as best I can. It shows up in my work, in my hockey playing, and surely here on HFBoards.

I don't know if the position attracts people likely to have these symptoms - Hirsch and Malarchuk are prominent examples - or if playing the position moves people in this direction - but it happens a lot.

If you think that this is easy to deal with or not a real problem, go away. Your opinion means squat zero.

 

[1989]

We can talk about Bill Durnan, Frank McCool or many other goaltenders back in the day who left the game because of behavioral ailments.

But the most direct example I can think of is 1982 playoff hero Mike Moffat, who ultimately left the sport because "at 22, he had had enough - of the pressure, of his inability to adjust to it, most of all the nervous attacks that left him with chronic headaches and perpetual insomnia."

If there'd been public awareness back then (and God forbid a program like Knight was able to take advantage of), perhaps Moffat would have thrived under a pretty solid Bruins defensive system that made goaltenders look pretty nice. As it stands, 95% of the folks reading this are either saying "Mike Moffat who?" or "Well, he couldn't have been that good if he had to quit."

Thank God that we're not in an era where we're just told to pour some Budweiser on it and move forward. "It's all in your head." "Aren't you strong?"

Horseshit.

I'm one of many goaltenders I know that have been diagnosed clinically with obsessive-compulsive disorder. 95% of the time, I'm thinking about literally the worst possible outcome in any situation. Whatever you think I'm thinking about, rest assured that it's worse, and I'm trying to mitigate against it as best I can. It shows up in my work, in my hockey playing, and surely here on HFBoards.

I don't know if the position attracts people likely to have these symptoms - Hirsch and Malarchuk are prominent examples - or if playing the position moves people in this direction - but it happens a lot.

If you think that this is easy to deal with or not a real problem, go away. Your opinion means squat zero.

I share this with you, sir, as another former goaltender.
It never got so bad for me that the compulsions became clinically diagnosed but there is something to the mentality of the goaltending position.
What's worse is the almost confirmation-bias levels of success... when you're on top of the game, the success intertwines with the necessity of the compulsion. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

Hope you have gotten the treatment you needed. I have my own issues still.

And lastly - men (because it is a majority of men who post here, and mental health stigmas pervade our gender) take care of yourselves, if not for yourselves, for your loved ones. You do matter and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and as with all things, your time and effort makes a difference.

 

[Ezekial]

I think the nature of the goalie position, hyper-focus, attracts people whose brains are wired differently than most people. That can attract people who use outlets to distract themselves from their own brains.

At least that's my extremely non-doctor assessment.

 

[Bear of Bad News]

I share this with you, sir, as another former goaltender.
It never got so bad for me that the compulsions became clinically diagnosed but there is something to the mentality of the goaltending position.
What's worse is the almost confirmation-bias levels of success... when you're on top of the game, the success intertwines with the necessity of the compulsion. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

Hope you have gotten the treatment you needed. I have my own issues still.

And lastly - men (because it is a majority of men who post here, and mental health stigmas pervade our gender) take care of yourselves, if not for yourselves, for your loved ones. You do matter and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and as with all things, your time and effort makes a difference.

I do as well - hopefully we both continue to get better and better. Therapy helps. Honestly, just having my staff know about it so that when I'm having a panic attack I can tell them exactly what's going on, that helps.

And agreed 100% about success interplaying with it - both in hockey and in life.

 

[The90]

We can talk about Bill Durnan, Frank McCool or many other goaltenders back in the day who left the game because of behavioral ailments.

But the most direct example I can think of is 1982 playoff hero Mike Moffat, who ultimately left the sport because "at 22, he had had enough - of the pressure, of his inability to adjust to it, most of all the nervous attacks that left him with chronic headaches and perpetual insomnia."

If there'd been public awareness back then (and God forbid a program like Knight was able to take advantage of), perhaps Moffat would have thrived under a pretty solid Bruins defensive system that made goaltenders look pretty nice. As it stands, 95% of the folks reading this are either saying "Mike Moffat who?" or "Well, he couldn't have been that good if he had to quit."

Thank God that we're not in an era where we're just told to pour some Budweiser on it and move forward. "It's all in your head." "Aren't you strong?"

Horseshit.

I'm one of many goaltenders I know that have been diagnosed clinically with obsessive-compulsive disorder. 95% of the time, I'm thinking about literally the worst possible outcome in any situation. Whatever you think I'm thinking about, rest assured that it's worse, and I'm trying to mitigate against it as best I can. It shows up in my work, in my hockey playing, and surely here on HFBoards.

I don't know if the position attracts people likely to have these symptoms - Hirsch and Malarchuk are prominent examples - or if playing the position moves people in this direction - but it happens a lot.

If you think that this is easy to deal with or not a real problem, go away. Your opinion means squat zero.

Can totally see how that would affect goalies more than players as well. So much rides on a good game. The list of goalies I played with that weren’t very independent, is very short. Look after yourself!

 

[CashMash]

We can talk about Bill Durnan, Frank McCool or many other goaltenders back in the day who left the game because of behavioral ailments.

But the most direct example I can think of is 1982 playoff hero Mike Moffat, who ultimately left the sport because "at 22, he had had enough - of the pressure, of his inability to adjust to it, most of all the nervous attacks that left him with chronic headaches and perpetual insomnia."

If there'd been public awareness back then (and God forbid a program like Knight was able to take advantage of), perhaps Moffat would have thrived under a pretty solid Bruins defensive system that made goaltenders look pretty nice. As it stands, 95% of the folks reading this are either saying "Mike Moffat who?" or "Well, he couldn't have been that good if he had to quit."

Thank God that we're not in an era where we're just told to pour some Budweiser on it and move forward. "It's all in your head." "Aren't you strong?"

Horseshit.

I'm one of many goaltenders I know that have been diagnosed clinically with obsessive-compulsive disorder. 95% of the time, I'm thinking about literally the worst possible outcome in any situation. Whatever you think I'm thinking about, rest assured that it's worse, and I'm trying to mitigate against it as best I can. It shows up in my work, in my hockey playing, and surely here on HFBoards.

I don't know if the position attracts people likely to have these symptoms - Hirsch and Malarchuk are prominent examples - or if playing the position moves people in this direction - but it happens a lot.

If you think that this is easy to deal with or not a real problem, go away. Your opinion means squat zero.

impressed. as someone who struggles with OCD there’s a lot of misconceptions and assumptions people will make. So it’s one of the harder things to come out with. New fav player

Are you guys on any meds? They're not magic, but they can help. For me, my OCD symptoms improved a lot with SSRIs... Haven't done much for my brother, though, so it's probably mixed in terms of results overall.

I had to knock three times whenever my mind made a mental bet or I'd feel this strange kind of pressure in my chest building towards anxiety. I also suffered from compulsive thoughts and prayers despite not being religious, so if I messed them up, I had to start all over again or I'd imagine those near and dear to me would die in car crashes or something. I also had to walk the same paths home and back or I'd imagine I'd be transported to another timeline and no one would know, but my original family would wonder where I'd disappeared without answers. I would worry that I, over time, would notice something was wrong as well.

The whole time, I knew my thoughts were completely irrational, but the thought "what if?" gnawed away at my resolve and made me give in to my compulsions in spite of all logic. That is what some people don't get... If there is even the slightest chance to avoid complete catastrophe by performing simple actions, would you not do them?

Regardless, my symptoms are better now. All of them. It took a lot of hard work. The meds made my depression and general anxiety symptoms milder. I still felt the pressure, but I could train myself not to give in because it wasn't as intense.

 

[Bear of Bad News]

No medications, even though I'm sure that they would help me in my situation (my "real" job involves a decent amount of cost-effectiveness studies of pharmaceutical treatments and I've looked specifically at this).

So far, semiweekly therapy has been a blessing and focusing more on my family has been good as well. It's a long journey.