Shed of Vengeance (Memorial of Vengeance)

MrazeksVengeance

VENGEANCE
Feb 27, 2018
7,533
28,341
It's been three years on 28th.

I had a retrospective mood yesterday. To be honest I am much more different person than I was when I wrote the first post. Fu^k I became adult during my time here.

In other news, we had the honeymoon vacation shortly after the wedding. Kind of a tenser adaptation period in September, but in October things stabilized to some extent. And I really enjoyed work during that month. I think I will look back to it even some time later. It was last month before my best friend at work left (she always wanted to be a GP, but still), so I enjoyed that smooth cooperation for one last time. That being said, we have a new colleague. Graduate. Did internship as a student at the clinic. Smart, kind kid, actually good at logistics. Gonna be a great doctor. Just needs to grow some elbows. He basically needs someone to be asshole for him. Volunteered for the function, whether he likes it or not.
Good thing is he actually likes working with me too. There is that low-level telepathy of picking up work for the other when you got time. Love that.

Darkness-Vengance works on her PhD. Which stresses her greatly. Which stresses me. But we are moving along with it. What worries me is that... we will be looking for a new living place. She will mostl likely change workplace in the spring once she finishes her first postgradual exam (mine will be in autumn). We actually have a decent cushion... afraid of the change more than anything. I am staying put at work. We will be both driving from that point on. Basically looking for a place that is in the middle of our workplaces.

Because for the first time in my life I actually formed a career dream. I want to lead a ward. Not a clinic - a ward. At our clinic we struggle greatly with lack of system and continuity, we need some goddamn NCOs. And I discovered I am actually good at the aspects of medicine that are not related directly to medicine - logistics, prioritization of tasks, everyday tricks to smooth out repetitive work, communication with the non-medical personnel, patient communication, calling other people and getting them to do what we want, because I am really annoying when I want to be...

Right now though I have my Surgery internship. I largely use the spare time (you generally work less while on these internships) to deal with Grandma. She's getting senile. Memory is going to shit. And she was complicated enough person before (smart, but narcisstic and too money-oriented). So that sucks balls.

But hey at least we had a really great night with Darkness on 24th so... that was nice.

To end on a trivial note. I suffer greatly today. I stubbed my toe yesterday. It's fortunately just sprained. That being said, I walk like a cripple. And I got high on the analagetics that the traumatologist prescribed. Which was fun. But also resulted in like four hours of having hiccups.
 

MrazeksVengeance

VENGEANCE
Feb 27, 2018
7,533
28,341
So… I had the toughest shift I had so far some time ago. @PredsV82 @hockey diva

I had a 8+16h shift. Had a terrible headache that day, but fortunately had surgery internship. Job done really soon. So I could take a 3h nap before going pack to pulmo.

Bunch of routine merely annoying stuff, one or two routine admissions.

Before midnight. Give or take 50 yo M (fairly young, still working) gets worse. COPD exacerbation with flu. Worsened hyposaturation, shortness of breath, needed more than 10l/min of oxygen. Coughed up blood. Called my ward boss (had a noght shift with me) that she should probably take the guy to ICU. Gave him hemostyptics in the meantime. She came to see him and agreed.

Fortunately… this one recovered, got home a week or so after. Actually dismissed him, because his doctor went on holiday.

Sidenote. Another young (40 or so) guy who was at the ward for diagnostics (fortunately had a benign tumor of his trachea) helped us pack his things. That was a first time.

Wasn’t all.

61 yo F. Undiagnosed COPD (undiagnosed, but almosz certain) with flu pneumonia.
Had a hard to contain fever in the afternoon. Not my first rodeo of that kind. Contained. @bleedgreen - yes we took blood cultures before antipyretics.

At night. 3 AM. I get a call. Nurse calls me. She’s former ICU. “She ain’t good”.
Ironically we started to get on “thou” terms that shift. (2nd person of singular is used regularly in Czech. Using 2nd of plural is used in formal speech for individuals).
This time I am not even getting socks. As if I knew. Just shoes, work phone and keys.


She truly ain’t good. Her saturation which was 90 in the morning at two liters is 51. We aren’t sure if the machine ain’t glitchin’. It… wasn’t. Took the arterial blood. Global respiratory failure just by vision test. I am sure as fu^k in the artery and my favorite liquid in the world is purple. Putting the patient on High Flow Oxygen. Calling my boss again. Temporary stay at ICU, but almost immediately sent for anesthesia, who later intubate her and transfer her to their ward.

This was in half of January. She died on 15th of February.
I don’t think I made a mistake, but I am still pissed.
She got better for some time. But ventilator pneumonias are a thing.



On a side note we have sex more often with Mrs. D-V. So that’s pretty grear for the work-life balance.

And I love the game Last Train Home.
 

MrazeksVengeance

VENGEANCE
Feb 27, 2018
7,533
28,341
Kin and cattle, they all die
You shall also perish
Only one thing never dies
The judgement over dead man
Bear your plight with faith and pride
The land is yours to cherish
Hark and hear the raven cries
Judgement over dead man



It is an odd statistic, but come the late winter and spring death comes…

I had an exitus where I had to do all the papers, make The Call for the first time last Easter. I was pretty lucky. 14 months without it. Now I had 3 weekend shifts (wanted them… because money and one colleague got predictably sick) this month.
Two of these had a death. Both metastatic lung adenokarcinoma. In layman’s terms… the one caused by bad luck, not smoking.

Not much you can do in the situations. Sometimes you would just prolong the suffering.

Still the mental restart needs time, sometimes a bit of wall-punching, sometimes bad jokes in privacy.



One of these two cases though actually made me… feel at least a bit better about the whole situation.

Woman was clearly in her last hours according to her nurse (I haven’t had all visits at that point - slightly more than 40 people), so I called her family to come say goodbyes. They (daughter and granddaughter) were on their way already regardless. During this I was also finishing second admission and took care of the immediate business of a third admission (quick check of her papers from emergency, quick physical exam, ATB, diuretics, oxygen). Granddaughter went away to buy a water bottle. I am called again. “Daughter is pretty sure she passed away”. Came in the room and yes, she did.
Daughter asked me to intercept her daughter before she came back because she assumed (correctly) she wouldn’t want to come in uprepared.

So I did. Dead may wait, but sometimes we must take care of dead for the living… to live on.

Both felt sorrow (obviously and understandably). For obvious reasons I rarely hug at work… but sometimes I feel the moments when it’s the right call. (Daughter while grieving was stoic compared to granddaughter, that being said I am merely trying to be descriptive)



I may not be able to convey the whole situation that well…
But as shitty as death of a loved one in a hospital is… they could say goodbye… and I think we did the best we could to take care of them… (small dose of Alprazolame helped). In the middle of three admissions in the span of three hours.
 

LakeLivin

Armchair Quarterback
Mar 11, 2016
5,089
14,983
North Carolina
. . .

On a side note we have sex more often with Mrs. D-V. So that’s pretty grear for the work-life balance.

And I love the game Last Train Home.

Nice! Always thought that would be fun, but never had the nerve to suggest adding another woman.

. . .

Still the mental restart needs time, sometimes a bit of wall-punching, sometimes bad jokes in privacy.

. . .

See my post above.

p.s.: but seriously, glad this forum provides a mechanism for you to unload (in a positive way.)
 
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  • Haha
Reactions: DaveG and geehaad

MrazeksVengeance

VENGEANCE
Feb 27, 2018
7,533
28,341
SEMANTICS ARE OFF. BUT THE IDEA RINGS TRUE.
 

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