TSN: Shawn Simpson passed away.

[Blotto71]

1. What do you do when someone tells you they’re not doing well?

2. Is there real help available for them or is it just talk - that one can get help?

3. What is the help that people can get to avoid those problems in the future?

Asking seriously because I don’t hear a lot of people talking about this in depth…just that “there is help if you need it”, and “let people know you’re not doing well”.

People knew Shawn wasn’t doing well. He talked about it. Yet here we are mourning.

Many employers have some form of employee assistance program - those are professionals that will speak with you confidentially and can assist with directing you to other resources if needed. You can also speak with your family doctor - many health alliances now have staff that can provide or direct you to help. And you can always go to the hospital - emergency rooms have crisis intervention people ready to help.

It's out there and it's accessible, but it may feel humbling to ask. Don't let that stop you, if you need help then go get it - people will surprise you with their depth of empathy and compassion.

 

[Masked]

Many employers have some form of employee assistance program - those are professionals that will speak with you confidentially and can assist with directing you to other resources if needed. You can also speak with your family doctor - many health alliances now have staff that can provide or direct you to help. And you can always go to the hospital - emergency rooms have crisis intervention people ready to help.

It's out there and it's accessible, but it may feel humbling to ask. Don't let that stop you, if you need help then go get it - people will surprise you with their depth of empathy and compassion.

And if you're not employed? Or not employed with an employer large enough to have that sort of program?

And if you don't have a family doctor? Or can't book an appointment with your family doctor until a month from now?

And if your local emergency room is closed?

 

[Icelevel]

Many employers have some form of employee assistance program - those are professionals that will speak with you confidentially and can assist

Many employers have some form of employee assistance program - those are professionals that will speak with you confidentially and can assist with directing you to other resources if needed. You can also speak with your family doctor - many health alliances now have staff that can provide or direct you to help. And you can always go to the hospital - emergency rooms have crisis intervention people ready to help.

It's out there and it's accessible, but it may feel humbling to ask. Don't let that stop you, if you need help then go get it - people will surprise you with their depth of empathy and compassion.

Having been through most of those routes and know others who have as well, I’d say they are mostly bandaid superficial solutions at best.
Don’t want to deter anyone from trying. It may help.

Big picture there is a problem with people suffering. How do we deal with the root issue rather than medication and hugs?

 

[Bileur]

Many employers have some form of employee assistance program - those are professionals that will speak with you confidentially and can assist with directing you to other resources if needed. You can also speak with your family doctor - many health alliances now have staff that can provide or direct you to help. And you can always go to the hospital - emergency rooms have crisis intervention people ready to help.

It's out there and it's accessible, but it may feel humbling to ask. Don't let that stop you, if you need help then go get it - people will surprise you with their depth of empathy and compassion.

Qualified help isn’t actually all that accessible though.

Most psychologists I know have a two year wait list.

Even aside from the wait times, cost can be prohibitive to many and particularly to those who need the services who are more likely to be unemployed or underemployed.

Mental health services are healthcare and should be covered by provincial health care.

 

[Blotto71]

And if you're not employed? Or not employed with an employer large enough to have that sort of program?

And if you don't have a family doctor? Or can't book an appointment with your family doctor until a month from now?

And if your local emergency room is closed?

Call or text 9-8-8, suicide prevention hot line

Call 9-1-1

Visit headsupguys.org for help finding other resources.

I'm not saying we have a perfect system and that finding help will always be easy. And I'm not interested in debating the accessibility of resources - no doubt it could always be better. But there are resources available if you or someone you know needs them.

 

[Larionov]

I too was absolutely gutted reading Wally's post on X. Anyone who has been impacted by suicide knows what he is going through - it just leaves a trail of emotional destruction in its wake amongst all the family and friends of the deceased. You feel guilty because you think you could have done more. Then you get angry. Then you feel guilty about feeling angry - it's a horrendous loop. At the end of the day this is no one's fault - unfortunately in this case Simmer's demons won the battle. That doesn't mean we don't try our best to help others, though, because in some cases we can help someone win the battle. We just keep doing our very best and keep putting one foot in front of the other - it's all you can do in this world...

 

[Do Make Say Think]

Mental health services are healthcare and should be covered by provincial health care.

I don't disagree but that usually means the services get more expensive and are you ok with paying more taxes to pay for that?

We are now paying for decades of shit governing: the boomers took everything for themselves, charged us for it, and are now handing us a shitstorm of their own making.

 

[Bileur]

I don't disagree but that usually means the services get more expensive and are you ok with paying more taxes to pay for that?

What makes you say the services get more expensive? Do you mean per capita or because greater access means more use?

If it’s per capita I don’t think that’s the case for regular health care.

In the mental health field specifically some government entities cap the amount they pay providers per session at a rate lower than the going rate in private practice. I don’t see why a provincially run system would be different.

I’d absolutely be willing to pay more taxes upfront. I think long term, creating a healthier society in terms of mental health would lead to significant savings in other areas (traditional healthcare notably with lower rates of obesity and addiction, unemployment, and criminal justice system in particular).

We are now paying for decades of shit governing: the boomers took everything for themselves, charged us for it, and are now handing us a shitstorm of their own making.

I agree, but the solution isn’t to keep offering less, while reaping the benefits of the scraps the boomers left us, and leave even less for the next generation.

 

[Stylizer1]

And if you're not employed? Or not employed with an employer large enough to have that sort of program?

And if you don't have a family doctor? Or can't book an appointment with your family doctor until a month from now?

And if your local emergency room is closed?

Go to a church?

 

[BankStreetParade]

And if you're not employed? Or not employed with an employer large enough to have that sort of program?

And if you don't have a family doctor? Or can't book an appointment with your family doctor until a month from now?

And if your local emergency room is closed?

Talk to someone you trust. Tell them you need to talk and you'd like them to listen. Put a framework around how much they contribute to the conversation (do you want advice? do you want someone to just listen? do you want them to help you research ideas on how to do x, y or z?)

If you have a serious issue, you can initiate a conversation with your family doctor or by calling CAMH/The Royal. There are community organizations that can help you get in touch with someone or facilitate the first conversation. There are non-profit groups that can help low income individuals/families access affordable mental health services. There are community teams that help navigate services and access.

The biggest obstacles are people don't know when to ask for help and don't feel like they don't need to ask for help. Both things are barriers of the individual's own mind and nothing else.

 

[Do Make Say Think]

What makes you say the services get more expensive? Do you mean per capita or because greater access means more use?

If it’s per capita I don’t think that’s the case for regular health care.

In the mental health field specifically some government entities cap the amount they pay providers per session at a rate lower than the going rate in private practice. I don’t see why a provisionally run system would be different.

I’d absolutely be willing to pay more taxes upfront. I think long term, creating a healthier society in terms of mental health would lead to significant savings in other areas (traditional healthcare notably with lower rates of obesity and addiction, unemployment, and criminal justice system in particular).

If you subsidize demand, prices tend to increase.

Regular health care is a bit different because a lot of it requires specialized equipment whereas a lot of mental health services is just a person talking.

Agree the solution isn't to offer less, but the boomers dumped all their debt on us, we don't have a lot of room to maneuver....

 

[Stylizer1]

What makes you say the services get more expensive? Do you mean per capita or because greater access means more use?

If it’s per capita I don’t think that’s the case for regular health care.

In the mental health field specifically some government entities cap the amount they pay providers per session at a rate lower than the going rate in private practice. I don’t see why a provisionally run system would be different.

I’d absolutely be willing to pay more taxes upfront. I think long term, creating a healthier society in terms of mental health would lead to significant savings in other areas (traditional healthcare notably with lower rates of obesity and addiction, unemployment, and criminal justice system in particular).



I agree, but the solution isn’t to keep offering less, while reaping the benefits of the scraps the boomers left us, and leave even less for the next generation.

The solution is to clean up our environment. Addictions whether they be drugs, alcohol, food, internet, etc all affect us negatively. Our whole population is sicker than it should be and is the main reason why our healthcare system can't keep up.

 

[Tuna99]

The solution is to clean up our environment. Addictions whether they be drugs, alcohol, food, internet, etc all affect us negatively. Our whole population is sicker than it should be and is the main reason why our healthcare system can't keep up.

Agree, there’s also a crisis for men of almost all ages in suicide, addiction and Despression. I think that’s why Simmer was so loved in a mainly dominated male market - he was real and like most of us and he spoke directly to these vulnerabilities and struggles men face at a time when no one else will and many men feel neglected and overwhelmed.

Also, Bell Lest talk is a fraud

 

[Beech]

It was strange earlier, from around 9:30-10:00 am, TSN1200 played clips of him. The funnier moments. I found myself strangely frozen.

Weird! Hearing his voice was difficult. Most people leave little recorded evidence of their existence. Pictures are/is all. Rarely voice. And rarely video/audio content. And so, we don't often feel a person. He, being a TV/radio personality left a crazy imprint.

It was difficult to hear. Here he was laughing, yet we now know a deep pain below. Laughing, yet 5-10 years away from a tragic early end.

The Tears Of A Clown
Song by
The Miracles

Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Cause really I'm sad, Oh I'm sadder than sad
Well I'm hurt and I want you so bad
Like a clown I appear to be glad ooh yeah

Well they're some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's no one around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Cause I need to go, oh I need you so
Look I'm hurt and I want you to know
For others I put on a show

Well they're some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's no one around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the crowd I try
But in a lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's no one around, oh yeah, baby baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
Cause really I'm sad...

 

[Masked]

Agree, there’s also a crisis for men of almost all ages in suicide, addiction and Despression. I think that’s why Simmer was so loved in a mainly dominated male market - he was real and like most of us and he spoke directly to these vulnerabilities and struggles men face at a time when no one else will and many men feel neglected and overwhelmed.

Also, Bell Lest talk is a fraud

Simmer's blood is on Bell's hands.

 

[Bileur]

The solution is to clean up our environment. Addictions whether they be drugs, alcohol, food, internet, etc all affect us negatively. Our whole population is sicker than it should be and is the main reason why our healthcare system can't keep up.

I think the only way to clean it up is to help people get to a mental state to help themselves. You can’t force people to stop the addictions and self destructive behaviour. It has never worked.

 

[BoardsofCanada]

What happened to Simmer is sadly quite common among men in their 50s. Coming from a broken marriage, kids are grown and either about to retire or getting very little enjoyment from their job; men begin to question their purpose.

At that age, you begin to realize the best years are behind you and wonder what else is there. I don't mean to bum everyone out but I think this is more common than people realize.

One of my best, and longest friends is the sort of guy who can walk into a bar and have the whole place laughing by the end of the night. Just blessed with charisma. His marriage ended a few years ago. His kids are grown and he's about to retire. He confided in me that he's struggling with depression. He sees a therapist weekly and says it helps but that he can't get rid of this cloud that hangs over him.

I don't have any answers. I think you have to find enjoyment in life's little things; a good movie, a beer and a good laugh with family and friends, a Sens win. It's the little things. I also know for a fact exercise is HUGE in mental health. Exercise and a beloved pet. Also make plans for the future. Always be looking forward to something.

 

[Joeyjoejoe]

I am not sure if I missed it elsewhere but Dean Brown on the pregame show basically confirmed that Simmer basically took his own life.

It sucks to say but usually things like this about people that I dont know personally doesnt have much an effect on me, but this surprisingly hit me. Maybe its on the selfish route because that I was a fan of him and going to miss his content, but still can't believe he is gone.

Rest easy king.

 

[Cosmix]

1. What do you do when someone tells you they’re not doing well?

2. Is there real help available for them or is it just talk - that one can get help?

3. What is the help that people can get to avoid those problems in the future?

Asking seriously because I don’t hear a lot of people talking about this in depth…just that “there is help if you need it”, and “let people know you’re not doing well”.

People knew Shawn wasn’t doing well. He talked about it. Yet here we are mourning.

Pschologists and psychiatrists can provide help.

When things are really bad, the hospitals have mental health services available but they are not easy to get access to due to lack of government funding.

I have not had psychological issues myself but had to deal with others in my family who did and continue to do.

I have talked to many psychologists and psychiatrists over the years. I have also read the DSM to find out more about the illnesses in my family.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR)

DSM

 

[Cosmix]

Having been through most of those routes and know others who have as well, I’d say they are mostly bandaid superficial solutions at best.
Don’t want to deter anyone from trying. It may help.

Big picture there is a problem with people suffering. How do we deal with the root issue rather than medication and hugs?

Social programs can help. There is a reason why Canadians voted Tommy Douglas as The Greatest Canadian many years ago!

https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/tommy-douglas

 

[Cosmix]

What happened to Simmer is sadly quite common among men in their 50s. Coming from a broken marriage, kids are grown and either about to retire or getting very little enjoyment from their job; men begin to question their purpose.

At that age, you begin to realize the best years are behind you and wonder what else is there. I don't mean to bum everyone out but I think this is more common than people realize.

One of my best, and longest friends is the sort of guy who can walk into a bar and have the whole place laughing by the end of the night. Just blessed with charisma. His marriage ended a few years ago. His kids are grown and he's about to retire. He confided in me that he's struggling with depression. He sees a therapist weekly and says it helps but that he can't get rid of this cloud that hangs over him.

I don't have any answers. I think you have to find enjoyment in life's little things; a good movie, a beer and a good laugh with family and friends, a Sens win. It's the little things. I also know for a fact exercise is HUGE in mental health. Exercise and a beloved pet. Also make plans for the future. Always be looking forward to something.

I like your last paragraph the most. Many years ago, in my 50s, I realized I needed to assess my life objectives. Setting lofty personal goals that were not likely to be achieved seemed like a waste of time and an exercise in frustration and stress (e.g., being an NHL player when I was a kid) . So I did what you said and made a list of achievable goals: pay off my mortgage over time, maximize my RRSP contributions each year, save money in my TFSA each year, have a Pizza with my family every Friday evening, take vacations to see family at Christmas each year, watch movies on TV, etc. I could achieve those types of goals and feel better doing it. I gave up on getting promotions and asking for raises to reflect my achievements at work; the company never appreciated me that way.

The answer is don't get married, don't have kids.

We all grow old, we all get sick, we all die, and we all die alone. Why make it more painful?

That being said, YOLO so do whatever makes you happy.

Not getting married and not having kids is NOT good advice; but doing what makes you happy is.

 

[Bileur]

Waiting Lists for life-saving healthcare services are not quality health care.

My wife had breast cancer. We were given a 2 month date to see a cancer doctor for "consultation" before any service was provided. Three weeks later we were called to inform us that the "consultation" appointment was changed to another month out.

We called a private medical clinic in Montreal and got a "consultation" appointment 1 week out. We went to that "consultation" appointment on a Monday, got an appointment for surgery on the Wednesday (2 days afterwards)!

The national Liberal Party Government and Ontario Conservative Party Government are NOT providing quality and timely health care services!

Sorry to hear that my friend. I hope she’s getting the treatment she needs and is on the mend.

 

[Sens of Anarchy]

"Make you happy" refers to an external action or event that triggers a feeling of happiness, while "being happy" describes a more sustained internal state of contentment and well-being, implying that the happiness comes from within and isn't solely dependent on external factors; essentially, someone or something can "make you happy" for a moment, but only you can truly "be happy" by cultivating a positive mindset and lifestyle.

A lot of people live thinking external factors will make them happy. If I lose 10 lbs I'd be happy;.. If I get this nice car, Id be happy... Being happy is a state of mind people need to nurture always.

Yes, "being happy is a choice" means that while external circumstances can influence your mood, you ultimately have the power to decide to focus on positive aspects of your life and cultivate a happy mindset, even when facing challenges; it requires a conscious decision to choose happiness each day.

 

[Cosmix]

Sorry to hear that my friend. I hope she’s getting the treatment she needs and is on the mend.

So far, so good. We are almost 2 years away from her surgery. I had prostate cancer about 18 years ago, had brachytherapy (radioactive seed implants) and things have been good so far (PSA 0.01).

A lot of people live thinking external factors will make them happy. If I lose 10 lbs I'd be happy;.. If I get this nice car, Id be happy... Being happy is a state of mind people need to nurture always.

I need to lose 15 pounds! I lack willpower to get it done and keep it done.

 

[Cosmix]

I wonder what Trump's 25% tariff on all ? Canadian goods exported to the USA will do to my RIFs and TFSAs. I hope not as much of a FUP as I did on my own.