OT - NO POLITICS Rainy Weekends Always Get Me Down edition

[Alicat]

My daughter is 13.

I’ve not been well for a long time now. Almost a year, I guess that’s “a long time” to not feel great upstairs. I’m drifting further and further away from my little girl and no matter what I do or so, or buy!!!…she still wants very little to do with me. I see her every day and I’ll try to get her talking or involved in whatever is going on, but it never works.

Today at birthday dinner, she chose a food truck/beach bar spot nearby. Great choice! Me and my better half, my ex and her boyfriend (I’ll call him Franklin), and the three kids. Naturally, because I’ve been up against it mentally, my daughter would say on this night of all nights, in a super nasty tone to her brothers, “No, I wanna sit there so I can sit next to Franklin”

Now, I like Franklin. Truly. Great guy. This still hurt. I’m hurt. But I’m not allowed to say that because Dad needs to be stoic and strong all the time, less everybody else in the family lose their collective shit. If Dad shows cracks, everybody else goes down the tubes. So I’m great. Happy Birthday. Smile here. Smile there. Everybody is good. Yay.

And then I come home hours later and vent to virtual strangers on a hockey forum.

But my daughter is 13, and I think that’s really cool. She’s really cool and just a remarkably strong young lady. She’ll come around eventually

Sending you a giant hug. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re an amazing dad

 

[GordonHowe]

The only way you’ll be happy is working for yourself, and even that sucks at times.

You definitely shouldnt place your worth in your money and job, but you gotta be realistic. You’re a cog in a machine. That’s all 99% of us are. It’s not going to be perfect, and we have to make compromises to make a living.

Hospitality is tough, but if you can hang in and look past the BS, it can be a great career. Just put the BS aside, do your job, and advance when you can.

Of course, that assumes there aren’t significant labor or ethical violations, but it doesn’t seem like the case.

As noted previously, everyone who enters the workforce should be required to work at least 3 months in hospitality, retail or food service.

Perhaps then they would exhibit greater awareness of those around them and the simple act of common courtesy.

 

[Alicat]

As noted previously, everyone who enters the workforce should be required to work at least 3 months in hospitality, retail or food service.

Perhaps then they would exhibit greater awareness of those around them and the simple act of common courtesy.

I can get behind this. I worked at Star Market in high school and a cafe in college. I learned so much from both jobs that I still use today.

I do think my bagging job is the reason why I have to bag my groceries instead of someone else

 

[GordonHowe]

I can get behind this. I worked at Star Market in high school and a cafe in college. I learned so much from both jobs that I still use today.

I do think my bagging job is the reason why I have to bag my groceries instead of someone else

As someone who worked the register @ Giant Eagle supermarket in East Jockstrap, Ohio (broke and "living" at a boarding house), I would have appreciated your patronage.

 

[Bruinaura]

I can get behind this. I worked at Star Market in high school and a cafe in college. I learned so much from both jobs that I still use today.

I do think my bagging job is the reason why I have to bag my groceries instead of someone else

My first job was as a cashier at a local grocery store in high school. Absolutely the reason i am a snob about packing groceries. And yes I miss paper bags. Much more satisfying to pack.

I would often get assigned to work the express lane. Just about every week an old man would come in usually first thing in the morning, buy just a pack of gum, and pay with a $100 bill and expect change. Of course, this was back when it was either cash or check, so I didn't appreciate him wiping out the till. Never understood why the owner didn't set a limit on bill size.

In college I worked at Lowe's. My register was usually the one at the far end of the store. There was an entry door clearly labeled "PULL" but would open if you pushed it. The problem is, doing so caused it to catch on the rug inside, preventing it from opening enough for someone to get through. I lost count of how many times people yelled through the partially open door to tell me that the door was broke

 

[Alicat]

My first job was as a cashier at a local grocery store in high school. Absolutely the reason i am a snob about packing groceries. And yes I miss paper bags. Much more satisfying to pack.

I would often get assigned to work the express lane. Just about every week an old man would come in usually first thing in the morning, buy just a pack of gum, and pay with a $100 bill and expect change. Of course, this was back when it was either cash or check, so I didn't appreciate him wiping out the till. Never understood why the owner didn't set a limit on bill size.

In college I worked at Lowe's. My register was usually the one at the far end of the store. There was an entry door clearly labeled "PULL" but would open if you pushed it. The problem is, doing so caused it to catch on the rug inside, preventing it from opening enough for someone to get through. I lost count of how many times people yelled through the partially open door to tell me that the door was broke

I am so glad Walmart has scan and go because I set up my insulated grocery totes when I first get into the store and then I can just scan what I am buying with my phone and pack it myself. I cannot handle having my bread or crackers smashed up because people think it is ok to put heavy cans on top of them.

 

[NeelyDan]

My kid turned 1 already last month - I don’t put him on social media, so I made this reasonable facsimile

 

[HHHH]

I can get behind this. I worked at Star Market in high school and a cafe in college. I learned so much from both jobs that I still use today.

In high school and college I worked running a register at the gift shop at the New England Aquarium...quite possibly the most intense job I have had but learned so much about patience, speed, communication and most importantly how to make kids feel valued when purchasing a 50 cent pencil.

I have been a teacher for 32 years and those lessons are definitely relevant...

 

[TD Charlie]

You and I have never met, and all we know about each other is what we share on this board. That said, I've learned enough to know that you are a really good person who cares deeply about his family. You're a guy I'd wanna hang out with if we lived closer together.....and I don't say that to many people. Take that for what its worth.

As for being a great parent. You already are. The fact that you wrote that last line in your post tells me so. You got a proud, strong, cool daughter who's a pain in the ass from time to time. Welcome to the club. Sounds like a genuinely good person, just like her dad, and that's the part that's important. Not the fact that she's pissed because you didn't give her $10.

Thanks. I truly appreciate this. I swear I’m not this charming in person.

13 is rough. 13 year old girls are going through some SHIT - I know, I used to be one.

This may be too personal, but has she been in therapy ever? Divorce can be really hard on kids. I can’t remember how old she was when you and your ex got divorced, but she may be struggling with that in addition to dealing with the teenage years. The insistence that she sit next to mom’s beau is a bullet in the chamber specifically for you - and she’s using it.

It seems like you and your ex are on good terms and able to come together for the kids, which is amazing. My parents got divorced when I was 18 months and were in the same room for my high school and college graduations and my wedding…couldn’t stand to be in the same room otherwise. Would you feel comfortable talking to her about how you’re feeling? Ask her for some positive reinforcement, and to keep an eye on how you’re spoken about in their household?

My dad married the woman he cheated on my mom with and ended up having 3 more kids. I don’t have a great relationship with him, but that was his doing. Over the years I’ve realized his insistence on fitting me into his new life instead of meeting me where I was and being involved in my life really hurt and alienated me. I’m 41 years old and he couldn’t pick one of my friends out of a lineup. Never came to any of my games growing up, unless my grandparents arranged it.

You’re involved. You care. You show up. Keep doing that, she’ll come around.

I don’t disagree. She does speak to her “feelings person” every few weeks, and has been for I think almost two years now. She seems to enjoy it.

I’m not exactly mad at anyone because she wanted to sit with mom’s boyfriend at dinner. I’m happy she has a positive and healthy relationship with someone that can be “her grown up” from time to time. It’s just some insecurity and or jealousy I suppose, striking at an inopportune time

Mom and I get along well enough. It’s mostly a very positive parenting dynamic. We’ve had some other, similar chats actually, because there have been times where the situations were reversed too. I trust her enough to not slander the father of her kids in front of said kids. It’s a really strange family dynamic, one that I couldn’t even begin to describe, and if I could it wouldn’t matter because it’s gonna change by the time I’m finished speaking.

I have thoughts on why the kids right now prefer mom and everything that comes with her, and I’m happy they think the world of her. I never wanna change that. Maybe i just have to trust the process and believe that the support I give day to day might not be given any recognition today, but some day that light bulb will come in. It did for me, some time around age 33. God, I hope my kids are smarter than I was lol

As for your pops, he missed out on a f***ing awesome human. And because of that, I bet you are so much stronger for having fought through all of that. You’d have to be, that’s a lot to carry for so long.

 

[Ladyfan]

My kid turned 1 already last month - I don’t put him on social media, so I made this reasonable facsimile

View attachment 1050211

HAPPY BIRTHDAY little Ben!

 

[Gee Wally]

My kid turned 1 already last month - I don’t put him on social media, so I made this reasonable facsimile

View attachment 1050211

Happy Birthday little dude!

 

[NeelyDan]

ps my wife just gave me shit because she said AI gave him red hair, I am monochromatic so had no idea

i am to inform you all "he is as blonde as a Targaryen" - love, erin

 

[Ladyfan]

ps my wife just gave me shit because she said AI gave him red hair, I am monochromatic so had no idea

i am to inform you all "he is as blonde as a Targaryen" - love, erin

I know you don't put him on social media...But there is a place you can share a photo for his aunts!

 

[AngryMilkcrates]

My first job was as a cashier at a local grocery store in high school. Absolutely the reason i am a snob about packing groceries. And yes I miss paper bags. Much more satisfying to pack.

I would often get assigned to work the express lane. Just about every week an old man would come in usually first thing in the morning, buy just a pack of gum, and pay with a $100 bill and expect change. Of course, this was back when it was either cash or check, so I didn't appreciate him wiping out the till. Never understood why the owner didn't set a limit on bill size.

In college I worked at Lowe's. My register was usually the one at the far end of the store. There was an entry door clearly labeled "PULL" but would open if you pushed it. The problem is, doing so caused it to catch on the rug inside, preventing it from opening enough for someone to get through. I lost count of how many times people yelled through the partially open door to tell me that the door was broke

Sir/Ma'am, it's not the door that's malfunctioning...

 

[quietbruinfan]

My second job was bagging at Stop and Shop. It was hard work that humbled me. (A little.)

 

[Bruinaura]

Ugh think I may have shingles. Small rash with blisters has developed along one side. I also have occasional pain in the same place but not burning/ itching. Almost like something is "catching" on that side. It's weird.

Just what I need.... whatever it is....

 

[sooshii]

Ugh think I may have shingles. Small rash with blisters has developed along one side. I also have occasional pain in the same place but not burning/ itching. Almost like something is "catching" on that side. It's weird.

Just what I need.... whatever it is....

Oh gosh, I hope not. Get to a doc.

 

[chizzler]

My daughter is 13.

I’ve not been well for a long time now. Almost a year, I guess that’s “a long time” to not feel great upstairs. I’m drifting further and further away from my little girl and no matter what I do or so, or buy!!!…she still wants very little to do with me. I see her every day and I’ll try to get her talking or involved in whatever is going on, but it never works.

Today at birthday dinner, she chose a food truck/beach bar spot nearby. Great choice! Me and my better half, my ex and her boyfriend (I’ll call him Franklin), and the three kids. Naturally, because I’ve been up against it mentally, my daughter would say on this night of all nights, in a super nasty tone to her brothers, “No, I wanna sit there so I can sit next to Franklin”

Now, I like Franklin. Truly. Great guy. This still hurt. I’m hurt. But I’m not allowed to say that because Dad needs to be stoic and strong all the time, less everybody else in the family lose their collective shit. If Dad shows cracks, everybody else goes down the tubes. So I’m great. Happy Birthday. Smile here. Smile there. Everybody is good. Yay.

And then I come home hours later and vent to virtual strangers on a hockey forum.

But my daughter is 13, and I think that’s really cool. She’s really cool and just a remarkably strong young lady. She’ll come around eventually

That age is tough. My daughter is the same age. Middle school years are the worst due to their body changing and hormones. Middle school doesn’t help. They are very influenced by their friends. Just stay in tune to what she’s doing. This is the time that she’s going to need her parents to get her through it. We had turbulence as well and communication is essential. You need to be aware. Sometimes their surroundings affect them. Sports are a good way to get her mind off things. Stay the pace. Your doing good.

 

[Bruinaura]

Oh gosh, I hope not. Get to a doc.

Yep, called and couldn't get in until tomorrow morning. Hopefully that's early enough.

 

[MrKabukiman]

Oh gosh, I hope not. Get to a doc.

Sounds like shingles.....

 

[Ladyfan]

Ugh think I may have shingles. Small rash with blisters has developed along one side. I also have occasional pain in the same place but not burning/ itching. Almost like something is "catching" on that side. It's weird.

Just what I need.... whatever it is....

Get yourself to the doctor.

Good luck

 

[TD Charlie]

A child knocked on my door this afternoon, looking for the twins. This rules. It’s the first time I’ve witnessed this in close to 30 years.

 

[Kovi2]

Thanks. I truly appreciate this. I swear I’m not this charming in person.

I don’t disagree. She does speak to her “feelings person” every few weeks, and has been for I think almost two years now. She seems to enjoy it.

I’m not exactly mad at anyone because she wanted to sit with mom’s boyfriend at dinner. I’m happy she has a positive and healthy relationship with someone that can be “her grown up” from time to time. It’s just some insecurity and or jealousy I suppose, striking at an inopportune time

Mom and I get along well enough. It’s mostly a very positive parenting dynamic. We’ve had some other, similar chats actually, because there have been times where the situations were reversed too. I trust her enough to not slander the father of her kids in front of said kids. It’s a really strange family dynamic, one that I couldn’t even begin to describe, and if I could it wouldn’t matter because it’s gonna change by the time I’m finished speaking.

I have thoughts on why the kids right now prefer mom and everything that comes with her, and I’m happy they think the world of her. I never wanna change that. Maybe i just have to trust the process and believe that the support I give day to day might not be given any recognition today, but some day that light bulb will come in. It did for me, some time around age 33. God, I hope my kids are smarter than I was lol

As for your pops, he missed out on a f***ing awesome human. And because of that, I bet you are so much stronger for having fought through all of that. You’d have to be, that’s a lot to carry for so long.

Those are perfectly valid feelings and they are understandable.

I'm in the step-spouse position although the boys are adults now. I just take it as it comes.

I don't have advice except to say that i support you and I'm happy to lend and ear if you need.

 

[Bruinaura]

Baby deer zoomies in the yard

 

[Bruinswillwin77]

A child knocked on my door this afternoon, looking for the twins. This rules. It’s the first time I’ve witnessed this in close to 30 years.

I had twin friends when I was in high school and would hangout at their house alot after school and on weekends. It was always fun breaking up their nothing fights.