Welp. Officially moved in with my mom. I'm expecting to find a townhome in the next couple of months. It's weird being back home. I won't be able to stay there long. I'm not used to having an annoying (but cute) dog around, and living with parents at the age of 36 is just hard because I need my independence. It's hard dropping off the little guy, though=(
I'm just grateful my (ex?) wife and I are still getting along so well. She's totally cool with me coming over today (her day) to play with him. I'm also fine with her coming over on my days. We both want to have some family moments even outside birthdays and holidays. I'm not sure if that will make it harder to get over her, but I think it'll be good for my son to witness and also be able to see both his mom and dad more often than our 50/50 schedule allows. I also think it's good for him to see us get along. I just wish I could've shown him how to love a woman by
showing more love to his mom.
As of right now, we're going with 50/50 with the little guy. Also, she's going to pay me $500 in child support once I get my own place even before we get the courts involved.
Some tears have been shed over the past few days, but I find myself comforting others more because they're all worried about me. I don't express my emotions a lot, so they're afraid I'm suppressing things. I allow myself to work through my emotions surrounding the situation daily. It only adds more stress when I have to talk to people about it and hear the same responses- "I don't understand how this happened" "Well, don't make any decisions too quickly- you may get back together" "I'm worried about you. You need to do counseling." etc...
Combine your two kids and you get my son. ADHD combined with arguing about everything he can because he doesn't have to listen to anyone. Its a real challenge. He's 10.
Two nights ago we had a bad evening. He had a meltdown because it was family movie night and he didn't get one because his big sister was out. So we played some games of Mario Kart as a family. Then it was bedtime. He spent the next 45 minutes doing everything but, actively defying us and looking for any reason not to do abything related to bed. My wife finally convinced him to go downstairs to brush his teeth but as he got up she finished her sentence "with daddy" and then he was like "I'm not going with him" (because if I went, he'd actually have to do what he was asked to do and not go play in his room) and tried to walk past me back to the couch. For the first time in months I did what I hate doing. I physically walked him down to the bathroom, pulling hands off doorframe and furniture along the wag and being screamed at the whole time I was hurting him. To be clear, I wasn't hurting him, apart from maybe when he tried to throw himself on the ground and I mightve tripped on his foot. He then worked his way through abusing me with every horrible word he knows and proceeded to lament that everyone in the house hates him and we are all so mean to him all the time, nobody loves him. This was the third night in a row of this and the first where I lost patience and manhandled him to what needed to happen. I feel like absolute shit afterwards because when it gets to that. I feel I've failed.
Kids are fun.
Man, sorry to read this. It must torture your soul to hear your little guy say cruel things to you and the family. Kids can be menaces, though.
www.livescience.com
