Is everyone talking about the same thing?
There's a big difference between being thin-skinned about criticism vs. someone flat out abusing you based on non-work-related aspects of your personhood.
Talking now about adult coaches using some of the stuff I've read as an example (maybe I don't know enough to make a good analysis, fwiw):
- A coach being a little hard on a player to motivate him can be called a style of coaching.
- A coach humiliating a player for his performance in front of peers can also be a tool, however effective or ineffective.
- A coach using a rookie's confidential analysis of his peer's work habits to shame him and others is questionable as a tactic and most likely creates resentment and distrust rather than the desired effect.
- A coach blasting you in the locker room by using racial slurs should not be acceptable, even if it's only exposed years later.
Does anyone think Peters is being punished just for that one act, or that he's changed from age 43 to 53 regarding his use of those slurs?
What's the difference between the player standing up then (and possibly losing his career right at the start) vs. speaking out later when everyone's had a shot at making some money first? Isn't the delayed punishment really BETTER for Peters than some kid "being a man" and confronting him 10 years ago?
I don't get how anyone can think Peters is the victim because his career was extended 10 years longer than it maybe should've lasted.
Do you know how many jobs I would've lost if I'd confronted every racist or clearly wrong comment made by bosses over the years? EVERYONE who's been through that knows how it goes, and it doesn't stop with one boss or one job.
Chances are your only options are anonymous whistleblowing (which may or may not get the coach fired, and in small groups will not really be anonymous) or keeping your head down. Then when you're at a safer distance personally, emotionally, and financially maybe you can deal with the fallout and save other people the same pains.
Why is the young AHL player the one who should be held accountable for his choices in dealing with a boss probably twice his age, and who holds that player's career in his hands? If you don't want to have your "life ruined" then maybe don't use racial slurs when dressing down your employees.
If you can't work as a firefighter without burning down houses and getting your buddies killed, don't be a firefighter.
If you can't work with people without using racist or sexist insults, don't take a job working with people.
Pretty simple, and a lot more reasonable than expecting everyone else to just put up with your racist shit.