NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOUR! Part Three!

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE FOUR! Part Three!

​

We have made it through three stressful phases. There has been madness, Pain, stupidity, illiteracy, fatal delays, arguments, agreements, sandwiches, sweet lovemaking, hand-to-hand combat, and blissfully little hockey talk. And a shitload of ducks. But guess what? We’re nowhere near finished.

We enter PHASE FOUR! with our tanks full of gas and our asses blaring death farts like the bleating of sheep being trampled to bits. I am confident that almost none of you can read, but I am going to type up the categories anyway.

CURRENT PLAYERS​

It is especially important now and moving forward to carefully check the lists on the first page to make sure you don’t pick someone who has already been chosen. I know it’s confusing, but we have chosen a shit ton of shit. And players.

This could be seen as our “third line” since we already have two full lines, but it is actually our “second line of current players,” because this is going to last forever. The same rules as PHASE ONE! apply - they have to be alive and they have to be currently playing hockey AND THEY HAVE TO HAVE BEEN DRAFT-ELIGIBLE FOR THE NHL ENTRY DRAFT AT LEAST ONE TIME (this is a new addendum) - no legends, no dead people. We will use Hockey Reference to confirm positional integrity. Don’t worry about “right” and “left” for defensemen. We aren’t taking more goalies because we already have two, and there aren’t enough anyway.


LW
C
RW
D
D

IMPORTANT RATIONAL STUFF​

Unless otherwise stated, the people and things below can be anyone/anything except people/things that have already been explicitly picked OR cause conflict with our “no duplicates” law of the new universe.

· Team Author - it should be self-explanatory, but probably isn’t. Pick a f***ing author. Please.

· Team Play-by-Play Person and Color Commentator (2) - you pick both at the same time.

· Team Punching Bag - someone on whom you take out your rage with punching, kicking, stabbing, slicing, etc. Presumably locked in a dungeon. Some of us already have a dungeon.

· Team Vacation Spot - somewhere presumably in the new dimension that reflects exactly somewhere on Earth Prime, which is a shithole. Earth Prime is a shithole, not the vacation spot. Unless that’s your bag. You go there for vacation and/or rehab.

· Team Pasta/Noodle Dish - either a pasta dish or a non-pasta noodle dish.

· Team Single-Pilot Attack Vehicle - use your imagination. One character can fit in it, basically, but that's not a super strict requirement. I just said it that way to give you an idea of what kind of craft I was thinking of, and also to differentiate it from the Team Transport. Just keep the pick in the spirit of the category and everything will be fine. DO NOT choose a character here - just the vehicle.

· Team Multi-Passenger Transport Vehicle - this is how your team will get around. Your hockey team, your gang of clowns, your army squadron, etc.

· Team Mythological Figure - has to be from mythology on Earth Prime and not Middle-Earth, etc.



Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE FIVE! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.

For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. If you completely miss your pick, the clock for your next pick is reduced to two hours before we move on. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the **** of the animal world.

Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.

DRAFT ORDER


1. Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
2. ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
3. Chinatown88 - Hay- On- Wye Bookworms
4. Striiker
5. mja
6. Ghosts Beer - Washington Fascists
7. BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
8. FlyerNutter - Iqaluit Pain
9. Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
10. Pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
11. GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
12. Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
13. Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
14. Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
15. Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
16. DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
17. CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
18. Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
19. Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Mighty Ducks
20. JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
21. BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
22. Rebels57 - Portland Fog


​

RIVALRIES

​

HOST		RIVAL
Allentown Attack	vs	New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Boston FlyTimmos	vs	Los Angeles Whalers
Chicago Chimpanzees	vs	Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Hay-On-Wye Bookworms	vs	Iqaluit Pain
Iqaluit Pain	vs	Hay-On-Wye Bookworms
Jacksonville Methgators	vs	Tampa Bay FireSticks
Las Vegas Desert Ducks	vs	Providence Platypi
Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!	vs	Boston FlyTimmos
Los Angeles Whalers	vs	New York M.A.D. Cats
Montreal Sexpos	vs	Quebec Lapins
New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins	vs	Allentown Attack
New York M.A.D. Cats	vs	Montreal Sexpos
Philadelphia Villains	vs	New York M.A.D. Cats
Portland Fog	vs	St. Paul Stay Pufts
Providence Platypi	vs	Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Quebec Lapins	vs	Montreal Sexpos
Seattle Sockeyes	vs	Vancouver Beavers
St. Paul Stay Pufts	vs	Iqaluit Pain
Tampa Bay FireSticks	vs	Jacksonville Methgators
Vancouver Beavers	vs	Seattle Sockeyes
Virginia Beach Surge	vs	Washington Fascists
Washington Fascists	vs	Virginia Beach Surge

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!

QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE

QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM​

Click to read more...

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Round 1

@FlyTimmo - Bill Clement and Jim Jackson
@ajgoal - John Forslund and Adam Parrot
@Chinatown88 - C Martin Necas
@Striiker - LW Nikolaj Ehlers
@mja - C Anze Kopitar
@Ghosts Beer - Jack Edwards and Mike Milbury
@BiggE - Ranger 1
@FlyerNutter - Stephen King
@Chuck Downie - Timo Jutila
@pit - C Trevor Zegras
@GKJ - Gord Miller and Ray Ferraro
@Lord Defect - Dr. Seuss
@Hurricane28 - Gary Thorne and John Davidson
@Captain Dave Poulin - Spitfire
@Strawberry Fields - C Nick Suzuki
@DancingPanther - Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn
@CanadianFlyer88 - John Shorthouse and Harry Neale
@Young Sandwich - C Marco Rossi
@Hollywood Couturier - Nike/Victoria
@JojoTheWhale - RW Anthony Mantha
@BernieParent - D Jeff Petry
@Rebels57 - LW James Van Riemsdyk

Round 2

· Rebels57 - Cotton McKnight & Pepper Brooks
· BernieParent - D Mattias Ekholm
· JojoTheWhale - C Dylan Larkin
· Hollywood Couturier - LW Joel Farabee
· Young Sandwich - D Zdeno Chara
· CanadianFlyer88 - RW Jordan Kyrou
· DancingPanther - D Samuel Girard
· Strawberry Fields - D Jakob Chychrun
· Captain Dave Poulin - D Moritz Seider
· Hurricane28 - LW Max Pacioretty
· Lord Defect - Gene Hart and Gilbert Gottfried
· GKJ - D Alec Martinez
· pit - D Aaron Ekblad
· Chuck Downie - Antti Mäkinen and Frank Rizzo
· FlyerNutter - D Jamie Drysdale
· BiggE - Jim Brockmire and John Madden
· Ghosts Beer - Mars/Ares
· mja - LW Alex DeBrincat
· Striiker - RW Blake Wheeler
· Chinatown88 - D Erik Černák
· ajgoal - Kraft Dinner
· FlyTimmo - D Robert Hagg

Round 3

· FlyTimmo - D Adam Ginning
· ajgoal - C Phillip Danault
· Chinatown88 - RW Connor Garland
· Striiker - D Tyson Barrie
· mja - D Darnell Nurse
· Ghosts Beer - Fyodor Dostoevsky
· BiggE - Magic Bus
· FlyerNutter - Chris Therien and Bill Pullman
· Chuck Downie - Kullervo
· pit - LW Filip Forsberg
· GKJ - C Jonathan Toews
· Lord Defect - Harrier
· Hurricane28 - The Outer Banks
· Captain Dave Poulin - Thousand Sunny
· Strawberry Fields - LW Dominik Kubalik
· DancingPanther - C Nico Hischier
· CanadianFlyer88 D Cam York
· Young Sandwich - LW - Ilya Kovalchuk
· Hollywood Couturier - Keith Jackson and Norm MacDonald
· JojoTheWhale - C Joel Eriksson Ek
· BernieParent - C John Tavares
· Rebels57 - C Brayden Schenn

Round 4

· Rebels57 - D Egor Zamula
· BernieParent - RW Kevin Fiala
· JojoTheWhale - D Devon Toews
· Hollywood Couturier - D Torey Krug
· Young Sandwich - D Brett Pesce
· CanadianFlyer88 - D Kris Letang
· DancingPanther - RW Val Nichushkin
· Strawberry Fields - D Mackenzie Weegar
· Captain Dave Poulin - Spicy Kung Pao Soba Noodles
· Hurricane28 - D Shea Weber
· Lord Defect - C Jeff Carter
· GKJ - Starship Enterprise
· pit - D Neil Pionk
· Chuck Downie - Baie des Ha! Ha!
· FlyerNutter - Red October
· BiggE - Loki
· Ghosts Beer - C Nazem Kadri
· mja - RW William Nylander
· Striiker - C Morgan Frost
· Chinatown88 - D Hampus Lindholm
· ajgoal - RW Evgeni Dadonov
· FlyTimmo - LW Sam Morin

Round 5

· FlyTimmo - RW Mark Friedman
· ajgoal - VF-1 Valkyrie
· Chinatown88 - C Elias Lindholm
· Striiker - D Jake Muzzin
· mja - D Noah Dobson
· Ghosts Beer - LW Anders Lee
· BiggE - Eric Goldstein
· FlyerNutter - Poppyseed Noodles
· Chuck Downie - RW Patrick Thoresen
· pit - RW Rickard Rakell
· GKJ - D Rasmus Andersson
· Lord Defect - USS Theodore Roosevelt
· Hurricane28 - D K'Andre Miller
· Captain Dave Poulin - LW Matthew Boldy
· Strawberry Fields - RW Oliver Bjorkstrand
· DancingPanther - D Jonas Brodin
· CanadianFlyer88 - LW Nils Hoglander
· Young Sandwich - RW Clayton Keller
· Hollywood Couturier - C Bo Horvat
· JojoTheWhale - D John Marino
· BernieParent - LW Jamie Benn
· Rebels57 - Blackbird Jet

Round 6

· Rebels57 - RW Phil Kessel
· BernieParent - SA-23E Mitchell-Hyundine Starfury
· JojoTheWhale - Terry Pratchett
· Hollywood Couturier - RW T.J. Oshie
· Young Sandwich - Harry Doyle and Buck Laughlin
· CanadianFlyer88 - C Gabe Vilardi
· DancingPanther - LW Denis Gurianov
· Strawberry Fields - George McFly
· Captain Dave Poulin - D Alexander Romanov
· Hurricane28 - C Vincent Trocheck
· Lord Defect - LW Jonathan Marchessault
· GKJ - Zeus
· pit - T.A.R.D.I.S.
· Chuck Downie - D Oliver Lauridsen
· FlyerNutter - D Adam Boqvist
· BiggE - Mobile, Alabama
· Ghosts Beer - RW Josh Anderson
· mja - Al Michaels and Dave Poulin
· Striiker - Cerberus
· Chinatown88 - Borg Cube
· ajgoal - D Eric Brannstrom
· FlyTimmo - Colby Cohen

Round 7

· FlyTimmo - C Nate Thompson
· ajgoal - LW Alex Killorn
· Chinatown88 - Brandon Sanderson
· Striiker - Dino Mac & Cheese
· mja - Pompei
· Ghosts Beer
· BiggE - Chef Boyardee SpaghettiOs
· FlyerNutter - C Anton Lundell
· Chuck Downie - C Mika Pyörälä
· pit - Black Lion
· GKJ - F-35B
· Lord Defect - Rekall
· Hurricane28 - The Loch Ness Monster
· Captain Dave Poulin - RW Bobby Brink
· Strawberry Fields - John Walton and Scott Hartnell
· DancingPanther - Baiame
· CanadianFlyer88 - Lasagna
· Young Sandwich - Boeing AH-64 Apache Attack Helicopter
· Hollywood Couturier - D Jake Sanderson
· JojoTheWhale - Taa 2, The Worldship
· BernieParent - Harnarayan Singh and Howie Meeker
· Rebels57 - D Artem Zub

Round 8

· Rebels57 - Ian Fleming
· BernieParent - Mortal Engine Tampa
· JojoTheWhale - New Orleans
· Hollywood Couturier - Amalfi Coast
· Young Sandwich - The Lexx
· CanadianFlyer88 - Spaceball One
· DancingPanther - Exhumas
· Strawberry Fields - Uranus
· Captain Dave Poulin - Perseus
· Hurricane28 - Trans-American Boeing 707
· Lord Defect - William Atherton
· GKJ - RW Jesse Puljujarvi
· pit - Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin
· Chuck Downie - LW Ladislav Scurko
· FlyerNutter - RW Vasily Podkolzin
· BiggE - Dave Scott
· Ghosts Beer
· mja - Kurt Vonnegut
· Striiker - Fode and Beed
· Chinatown88 - Universal Studios Japan
· ajgoal - Hawaii
· FlyTimmo - Carbonara

Round 9

· FlyTimmo - Rickshaws
· ajgoal - Marzanna/Morana
· Chinatown88 - Dave Strader and Darren Pang
· Striiker - Normandy SR-2
· mja - Gary Bettman
· Ghosts Beer
· BiggE - LW Scott Laughton
· FlyerNutter - LW Jean-Luc Foudy
· Chuck Downie - D Oskars Bartulis
· pit - Ramen
· GKJ - LW J.T. Miller
· Lord Defect - Julie the Zombie
· Hurricane28 - RW David Perron
· Captain Dave Poulin - Tokyo
· Strawberry Fields - Bay Lake, FL
· DancingPanther - A-10 Thunderbolt II
· CanadianFlyer88 - P-51 Mustang
· Young Sandwich - Khao Soi
· Hollywood Couturier - Death Saurer
· JojoTheWhale - Cacio e Pepe
· BernieParent - Poseidon
· Rebels57 - Spicy Thai Drunken Noodles

Round 10

· Rebels57 - Mark XLIV
· BernieParent - Penne Arrabiata
· JojoTheWhale - Dionysus/Bacchus
· Hollywood Couturier - Slave 1
· Young Sandwich - New Zealand
· CanadianFlyer88 - Bristol Bay
· DancingPanther - Concorde Jet
· Strawberry Fields - Manicotti
· Captain Dave Poulin - Tom Robbins
· Hurricane28 - F. Scott Fitzgerald
· Lord Defect - Pad Thai
· GKJ - Garlic Shrimp Scampi
· pit - Odin
· Chuck Downie - Chrysler TV-8
· FlyerNutter - AMC Matador Coupe
· BiggE - Evan Bouchard
· Ghosts Beer
· mja - X-Wing
· Striiker - Blade Liger
· Chinatown88 - Seth Rogen
· ajgoal - Johnny Depp
· FlyTimmo - Gordon Ramsay

Round 11

· FlyTimmo - Blue Eyes White Dragon
· ajgoal - Herman Melville
· Chinatown88 - Biang Biang Noodles
· Striiker - Anthony Bourdain
· mja - Dan Dan Mian
· Ghosts Beer
· BiggE - C Dylan Cozens
· FlyerNutter - Great Barrier Reef
· Chuck Downie - Timothy Leary
· pit - Mitch McConnell
· GKJ - Ray Didinger
· Lord Defect - LW Elliot Desnoyers
· Hurricane28 - Valkyrie
· Captain Dave Poulin - Trey Parker and Matt Stone
· Strawberry Fields - The Mystery Machine
· DancingPanther - Dr. Joseph T. DiPiro
· CanadianFlyer88 - Elliotte Friedman
· Young Sandwich - Vatsyayana
· Hollywood Couturier - Franz Oberhauser
· JojoTheWhale - Twits (A Life)
· BernieParent - CS Lewis
· Rebels57 - Cairo, Egypt

Round 12

· Rebels57 - boxcar65
· BernieParent
· JojoTheWhale
· Hollywood Couturier
· Young Sandwich
· CanadianFlyer88
· DancingPanther
· Strawberry Fields
· Captain Dave Poulin
· Hurricane28
· Lord Defect
· GKJ
· pit
· Chuck Downie
· FlyerNutter
· BiggE
· Ghosts Beer
· mja
· Striiker
· Chinatown88
· ajgoal
· FlyTimmo

Round 13

· FlyTimmo
· ajgoal
· Chinatown88
· Striiker
· mja
· Ghosts Beer
· BiggE
· FlyerNutter
· Chuck Downie
· pit
· GKJ
· Lord Defect
· Hurricane28
· Captain Dave Poulin
· Strawberry Fields
· DancingPanther
· CanadianFlyer88
· Young Sandwich
· Hollywood Couturier
· JojoTheWhale
· BernieParent
· Rebels57

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

​

Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos

LW	Sam Morin
C	Nate Thompson
RW	Mark Friedman
D	Robert Hagg
D	Adam Ginning
Team Author	Gordon Ramsay
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Bill Clement and Jim Jackson
Team Punching Bag	Colby Cohen
Team Vacation Spot
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Carbonara
Team Attack Vehicle
Team Transport Vehicle	Rickshaws
Team Mythological Figure	Blue Eyes White Dragon

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers

LW	Alex Killorn
C	Phillip Danault
RW	Evgeni Dadonov
D	Eric Brannstrom
D
Team Author	Herman Melville
Team PBP & Color Commentator	John Forslund and Adam Parrot
Team Punching Bag	Johnny Depp
Team Vacation Spot	Hawaii
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Kraft Dinner
Team Attack Vehicle	VF-1 Valkyrie
Team Transport Vehicle
Team Mythological Figure	Marzanna/Morana

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Chinatown88 - Hay- On- Wye Bookworms

LW	Connor Garland
C	Elias Lindholm
RW	Martin Necas
D	Erik Černák
D	Hampus Lindholm
Team Author	Brandon Sanderson
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Dave Strader and Darren Pang
Team Punching Bag	Seth Rogen
Team Vacation Spot	Universal Studios Japan
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Biang Biang Noodles
Team Attack Vehicle
Team Transport Vehicle	Borg Cube
Team Mythological Figure

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Striiker - Allentown Attack

LW	Nikolaj Ehlers
C	Morgan Frost
RW	Blake Wheeler
D	Tyson Barrie
D	Jake Muzzin
Team Author	Anthony Bourdain
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Fode and Beed
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Dino Mac & Cheese
Team Attack Vehicle	Blade Liger
Team Transport Vehicle	Normandy SR-2
Team Mythological Figure	Cerberus

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins

LW	Alex Debrincat
C	Anze Kopitar
RW	William Nylander
D	Darnell Nurse
D	Noah Dobson
Team Author	Kurt Vonnegut
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Al Michaels and Dave Poulin
Team Punching Bag	Gary Bettman
Team Vacation Spot	Pompei
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Dan Dan Mian
Team Attack Vehicle	X-Wing
Team Transport Vehicle
Team Mythological Figure

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Ghosts Beer - Washington Fascists

LW	Anders Lee
C	Nazem Kadri
RW	Josh Anderson
D
D
Team Author	Fyodor Dostoevsky
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Jack Edwards and Mike Milbury
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish
Team Attack Vehicle
Team Transport Vehicle
Team Mythological Figure	Mars/Ares

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators

LW	Scott Laughton
C	Dylan Cozens
RW
D	Evan Bouchard
D
Team Author	Eric Goldstein
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Jim Brockmire and John Madden
Team Punching Bag	Dave Scott
Team Vacation Spot	Mobile, Alabama
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Chef Boyardee SpaghettiOs
Team Attack Vehicle	Ranger 1
Team Transport Vehicle	Magic Bus
Team Mythological Figure	Loki

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

FlyerNutter - Iqaluit Pain

LW	Jean-Luc Foudy
C	Anton Lundell
RW	Vasily Podkolzin
D	Jamie Drysdale
D	Adam Boqvist
Team Author	Stephen King
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Chris Therien and Bill Pullman
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	Great Barrier Reef
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Poppyseed Noodles
Team Attack Vehicle	AMC Matador Coupe
Team Transport Vehicle	Red October
Team Mythological Figure

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!

LW	Ladislav Scurko
C	Mika Pyorala
RW	Patrick Thoresen
D	Oliver Lauridsen
D	Oskars Bartulis
Team Author	Timothy Leary
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Antti Mäkinen and Frank Rizzo
Team Punching Bag	Timo Jutila
Team Vacation Spot	Baie des Ha! Ha!
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish
Team Attack Vehicle	Chrysler TV-8
Team Transport Vehicle
Team Mythological Figure	Kullervo

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

pit - Chicago Chimpanzees

LW	Filip Forsberg
C	Trevor Zegras
RW	Rickard Rakell
D	Aaron Ekblad
D	Neil Pionk
Team Author
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin
Team Punching Bag	Mitch McConnell
Team Vacation Spot
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Ramen
Team Attack Vehicle	Black Lion
Team Transport Vehicle	T.A.R.D.I.S.
Team Mythological Figure	Odin

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

GKJ - Philadelphia Villains

LW	J.T. Miller
C	Jonathan Toews
RW	Jesse Puljujarvi
D	Alec Martinez
D	Rasmus Andersson
Team Author	Ray Didinger
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Gord Miller and Ray Ferraro
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Garlic Shrimp Scampi
Team Attack Vehicle	F-35B
Team Transport Vehicle	Starship Enterprise
Team Mythological Figure	Zeus

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts

LW	Elliot Desnoyers
C	Jonathan Marchessault
RW	Jeff Carter
D
D
Team Author	Dr. Seuss
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Gene Hart and Gilbert Gottfried
Team Punching Bag	William Atherton
Team Vacation Spot	Rekall
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Pad Thai
Team Attack Vehicle	Harrier
Team Transport Vehicle	USS Theodore Roosevelt
Team Mythological Figure	Julie the Zombie

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge

LW	Max Pacioretty
C	Vincent Trocheck
RW	David Perron
D	Shea Weber
D	K'Andre Miller
Team Author	F. Scott Fitzgerald
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Gary Thorne and John Davidson
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	The Outer Banks
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish
Team Attack Vehicle	Valkyrie
Team Transport Vehicle	Trans-American Boeing 707
Team Mythological Figure	The Loch Ness Monster

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins

LW	Matthew Boldy
C
RW	Bobby Brink
D	Moritz Seider
D	Alexander Romanov
Team Author	Tom Robbins
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	Tokyo
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Spicy Kung Pao Soba Noodles
Team Attack Vehicle	Spitfire
Team Transport Vehicle	Thousand Sunny
Team Mythological Figure	Perseus

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers

LW	Dominik Kubalik
C	Nick Suzuki
RW	Oliver Bjorkstrand
D	Jakob Chychrun
D	Mackenzie Weegar
Team Author	George McFly
Team PBP & Color Commentator	John Walton and Scott Hartnell
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	Bay Lake, FL
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Manicotti
Team Attack Vehicle
Team Transport Vehicle	The Mystery Machine
Team Mythological Figure	Uranus

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

DancingPanther - Providence Platypi

LW	Denis Gurianov
C	Nico Hischier
RW	Val Nichushkin
D	Samuel Girard
D	Jonas Brodin
Team Author	Dr. Joseph T. DiPiro
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	Exhumas
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish
Team Attack Vehicle	A-10 Thunderbolt II
Team Transport Vehicle	Concorde Jet
Team Mythological Figure	Baiame

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes

LW	Nils Hoglander
C	Gabe Vilardi
RW	Jordan Kyrou
D	Cam York
D	Kris Letang
Team Author
Team PBP & Color Commentator	John Shorthouse and Harry Neale
Team Punching Bag	Elliotte Friedman
Team Vacation Spot	Bristol Bay
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Lasagna
Team Attack Vehicle	P-51 Mustang
Team Transport Vehicle	Spaceball One
Team Mythological Figure

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos

LW	Ilya Kovalchuk
C	Marco Rossi
RW	Clayton Keller
D	Zdeno Chara
D	Brett Pesce
Team Author	Vatsyayana
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Harry Doyle and Buck Laughlin
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	New Zealand
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Khao Soi
Team Attack Vehicle	Boeing AH-64 Apache Attack Helicopter
Team Transport Vehicle	The Lexx
Team Mythological Figure

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Mighty Ducks

LW	Joel Farabee
C	Bo Horvat
RW	T.J. Oshie
D	Torey Krug
D	Jake Sanderson
Team Author	Franz Oberhauser
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Keith Jackson and Norm MacDonald
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	Amalfi Coast
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish
Team Attack Vehicle	Death Saurer
Team Transport Vehicle	Slave 1
Team Mythological Figure	Nike/Victoria

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats

LW	Dylan Larkin
C	Joel Eriksson Ek
RW	Anthony Mantha
D	Devon Toews
D	John Marino
Team Author	Terry Pratchett
Team PBP & Color Commentator
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot	New Orleans
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Cacio e Pepe
Team Attack Vehicle	Twits (A Life)
Team Transport Vehicle	Taa 2, The Worldship
Team Mythological Figure	Dionysus/Bacchus

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks

LW	Jamie Benn
C	John Tavares
RW	Kevin Fiala
D	Jeff Petry
D	Mattias Ekholm
Team Author	CS Lewis
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Harnarayan Singh and Howie Meeker
Team Punching Bag
Team Vacation Spot
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Penne Arrabiata
Team Attack Vehicle	SA-23E Mitchell-Hyundine Starfury
Team Transport Vehicle	Mortal Engine Tampa
Team Mythological Figure	Poseidon

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Rebels57 - Portland Fog

LW	James Van Riemsdyk
C	Brayden Schenn
RW	Phil Kessel
D	Egor Zamula
D	Artem Zub
Team Author	Ian Fleming
Team PBP & Color Commentator	Cotton McKnight & Pepper Brooks
Team Punching Bag	boxcar65
Team Vacation Spot	Cairo, Egypt
Team Pasta/Noodle Dish	Spicy Thai Drunken Noodles
Team Attack Vehicle	Mark XLIV
Team Transport Vehicle	Blackbird Jet
Team Mythological Figure

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

This is a searchable database - as a businessman, I know that's what you should call it.

• Hit Control + F to search
• Tabs are on the bottom - use those to look at everything
• Link to the full spreadsheet below that

​

Link to Full Spreadsheet for Defectives


TEMPORARILY RETIRED FRANCHISE

bennysflyers16 - Toronto Benny's Bombers

Team Band/Musician/Whatever	Slaughter
Team Beer or Liquor	Crown Royal
Team Cactus	Cactus Chips
Team Cartoon/Comics/Anime Character	Snuffles
Team Fast Food	Taco Time
Team Goal Song	"Jellyhead"
Team Ice Cream	Tiger Tiger
Team Mascot	Benny
Team Minor-League Affiliate	Hamilton Mustangs
Team Movie Franchise	Rambo
Team Rinkside Reporter	Terri Apostle
Team Scent	Drakkar Noir
Team Video Game Franchise	RBI Baseball

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Current Star Player:	Claude Giroux
Owner:	Mark Chipman
City:	Toronto
General Manager:	Cliff Fletcher
Head Coach:	Michel Therrien
Forwards:	Mark Stone-Claude Giroux-Jake Voracek
Defensemen:	Travis Sanheim-Brandon Manning
Goalie:	Robin Lehner
Past Star Player:	Bobby Clarke
Arena:	The Whitney Forum

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

We launch this bitch with @GKJ on the bong, and @pit on deck, and @Chuck Downie on the lido deck.

GO!​

 

[BiggE]

Let’s do this!

Work, family and especially stupid Flyers hockey must all wait their turn. The Quackverse should be your #1 priority.

Live it, love it, learn it.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Guys, it’s Thatcher Venmo’s half birthday. In honor of that let’s move at warp speed and finish this phase TODAY.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I spoke to the above father of Thatcher and this draft, and we are instituting a new policy to try to help a little in moving this along. Oh, wait.

*** IMPORTANT ADDENDUM TO THE RULES! ***

We're instituting a new policy. If you missed your previous pick, your clock for the next one is reduced to two hours before we move on. This isn't to "punish" anyone or some stupid shit - it's just to minimize the amount of time we piss away. This is important not because of anyone's impatience, but because the sustainability of this enterprise and any like it depends on momentum and enthusiasm - the two have a symbiotic relationship, like ducks and diarrhea. We all just want the fun and excitement to continue, so we have to keep the wheels greased.

And please, for the love of Jobu, if you know you are going to be absent for a time, give someone a list. I will always take a list, with almost no danger whatsoever that anyone is thinking the way I am, especially at this point in this phase, but I'm not the only one - just ask who will be around.

 

[Chinatown88]

People out here be trying to mess with the Bookworms again. SMH

He is on the Bookworms good sir.

Also, we have moved on to another thread.

Only can trust a couple homies.

 

[pit]

GM Doug: Do you know what one lesson my father taught me?
Travis Konecny: I do not. Perhaps "Be curious, not judgmental?"
GM Doug: No, he never said that. He taught me that all game announcers are trash.
TK: I guess in the opposite spirit then, but sure.
GM Doug: Damn straight. And now, here I am, forced a pick a PBP announcer and colour guy for our team.
TK: That must be difficult for you.
GM Doug: I can't decide whether to try and get the best of the worst of that lot who might puke up their single sliver of hockey knowledge over and over or go for a complete joke of an option to show how much I despise them.
TK: Perhaps there is an alternative.
GM Doug: I don't see it.
TK: May I?
GM Doug: I suppose, I don't see how it can get worse and then I'm not to blame for the pick.
TK: Thank you. Now allow me to dance my way to the podium.

TK: With their eighth round selection of the fourth phase of the Quackverse Megadraft League, the Chicago Chimpanzee are pleased to select for their Play by Play Announcer Marcel Marceau.

And colour commentator Charlie Chaplin.

GM Doug: I don't get it TK.
TK: Boss, this is a mime and a silent film star. You won't hear anything during the game except the blades on the ice and the banter between the players. It's what all of us want but none of us get.
GM Doug: Son, you're a goddamn genius.
TK: That's very kind. And now I pass it to Mr. @Chuck Downie .

 

[GKJ]

Ctrl+F failed me. I shall take Jesse Puljujarvi instead who I was planning to take anyways. @pit

 

[Chuck Downie]

Les Comiques select former Flyers draft pick and current captain of Detva, LW, Ladislav Ščurko

Ladislav Scurko at eliteprospects.com

Ice hockey pro Ladislav Ščurko convicted of murder - spectator.sme.sk

@FlyerNutter is up!

 

[Chinatown88]

Les Comiques select former Flyers draft pick and current captain of Detva, LW, Ladislav Ščurko

Ladislav Scurko at eliteprospects.com

Ice hockey pro Ladislav Ščurko convicted of murder - spectator.sme.sk

@FlyerNutter is up!

 

[BiggE]

One pick to go and then our punching bag shall be revealed!

 

[BiggE]

@Captain Dave Poulin , I have to head out at 11:30 so, just in case @FlyerNutter hasn’t picked by then, I’m going to send you our next selection
Thanks!

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Les Comiques select former Flyers draft pick and current captain of Detva, LW, Ladislav Ščurko

Ladislav Scurko at eliteprospects.com

Ice hockey pro Ladislav Ščurko convicted of murder - spectator.sme.sk

@FlyerNutter is up!

Awesome.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@Captain Dave Poulin , I have to head out at 11:30 so, just in case @FlyerNutter hasn’t picked by then, I’m going to send you our next selection
Thanks!

I love you so much right now.

 

[BiggE]

I love you so much right now.

I’m actually surprised no one beat me to this pick.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Oh, Darnell. You really are something. Every time I think you can't do anything more tone deaf you blow my expectations out of the water.

 

[Lord Defect]

Ctrl+F failed me. I shall take Jesse Puljujarvi instead who I was planning to take anyways. @pit

Damn

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Rovell has to be somewhere on the spectrum, right?

Hi.

Oh, Darnell. You really are something. Every time I think you can't do anything more tone deaf you blow my expectations out of the water.

 

[mja]

I’m actually surprised no one beat me to this pick.

If you snipe me...

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Get your Duck Fu Training merch now! *

* when I add it

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

You're legitimately going to make me go bankrupt, Cap.

 

[FlyerNutter]

Go for it @BiggE I’m just waking up here

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@BiggE left me his pick.



Well, well, it’s about damn time that I got to make a pick!

GM: This is big ladies and gentlemen, in fact, quite frankly, it’s huge! The one, the only, Mr BiggE himself, will be announcing, right here, live and in person, the Jacksonville Methgators official team punching bag!!

BE: And that piece of crap punching bag spends most of his time in the cess pool known as Philly! He’s a big wheel in the twisted, and altogether stupid, world of Flyers hockey. His fondness for big names, action and mediocrity has brought us Chuckles Fletcher, French Hak, monkey boy Michel and the hideous sick freak that is Kevin Hayes! Can you guess where this is heading, Gorilla?

GM: I haven’t got a clue sir, but I’ll tell you this: this announcement is bigger than Austin vs the Rock, in fact, it’s even bigger than Hogan slamming Andre in front of 93,000 at the Pontiac Silverdome! PANDEMONIUM IS BREAKING LOOSE!!!

BE: Damn right it is! Our official punching bag is the man that is running Flyers hockey into the shit caked sewer each and every day, that utter piece of crap, DAVE SCOTT!!!

(pictured hear with Dave “Satan” Scott is Homer the Clown and Chuckles the Idiot)


@Ghosts Beer is on the clock and has two hours before we move on to @mja