Welcome To The 21/22 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, MEATY PHASE EIGHTEEN! Part One!
We are all very muscular, manly men, right? And what do manly men need more than anything? Protein. Specifically, meat.
I am overjoyed to announce that the one, the only (thank f***) Beef Invictus has finally grown a pair, bought a ticket, and booked a seat aboard this daft enterprise. I am Captain Dave - he is Captain Quirk. Make no mistake - you WILL respect mah authoritai. You can do what you want with his.
So welcome to that meat lord and the newly minted D.C. Mutineers. Let’s Go!
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team Cover song - This is a version of a song recorded by a band/artist that was not the original recording artist. Note that the most famous version of many songs would actually qualify here. Don’t worry about duplication with bands that were already taken - you just can’t pick songs that were specifically, individually chosen before.
- Team Actor/Actress - you pick the one you don’t have. So for example, I have my sweetheart Ji-hyunie as my Team Actress - for this one I have to pick a Team Actor. If you are a dumb dickhead who picked, say, Rick Moranis for example, you would have to pick an actress. No duplicates.
- Team Screenwriter - This is someone who has written screenplays. The directors who have been chosen are off limits, so check the Search tab before you post.
- Team French Fry Type - This is mostly about the cut of a fry. I don’t want to give an example because it would pick-tip like a motherf***er. You can Google “types of French fries,” and I’m sure you will. If you want this to be about flavor, or find some other loophole, knock yourself out, but it has to be related to the food known as “french fries.”
- Team Greatest Game Ever - With this one we are talking about sporting events exclusively, so don’t get too loopy with your loopholes. In fact, for this one category only, we are basically suspending loopholes. We still love you, loopholes, don’t be sad - we just are setting them aside for this one category. Make sure you check the spreadsheet, but be smart - because of the #Boxes, I have had to abbreviate a bunch of the info on the games we have chosen before. Everyone keep an eye on this category and let us know if you already have chosen the thing the illiterate numbskull who is trying to pick that thing.
- Team Niche Sporting Event - This should be cool, and should have us searching like bastards. “Niche” will come under careful scrutiny on a pick-by-pick basis. We want to allow plenty of room for interpretation in here, and we welcome loopholes back, but don’t be an idiot.
- Team Card Game Monster - I think this is self-explanatory. If you say “Myself, because I will destroy a motherf***er at Spades” (which is true of yours truly, I will destroy your ass at Spades), I will cut you. Pick a monster from a card game or some kind of card. Some of the younger people in here will be super familiar with these, but my old ass just thought of something extremely cool.
- Team Horror Movie Character - This is a character from a horror movie. Any character in any horror movie. Remember that you are picking characters, so if the actor or actress is already taken, don’t worry about it. (The original owner of that actor/actress will share this character with you. Or whatever.)
- Team Pet Peeve - This is the thing that really grinds your gears. It is the one pet peeve which you will NOT be plagued by in the new world. What that means will depend on which pet peeve you choose.
- Team Double Timer - OK, so what you do here is take one person who you have already picked and think of another thing for them to do, another position for them to fill. This category is also known as “Team Already Selected Member Of Your Organization To Fill A Second Role.” I am hoping that some of you will think of roles that we can turn into categories later.
- Team Handcuffed Mulligan - OK, so what this does is basically it will give everyone a chance to change a pick they have already made, and/or move someone from one category to another and then fill the newly opened spot with someone new. You can only pick one totally new person total, you get me? So for example, Lois Lane is my anchorperson, right. Let’s say I just thought of someone new and better for anchorperson, but I don’t want to lose Lois Lane. So for my mulligan I choose Peter Jennings for my anchorperson, then I move Lois Lane to my Team Babe slot (phrasing) and drop Bae Suzy (not that I would do that, as far as you know) from her Team Babe slot (phrasing). I could also just drop Lois Lane and keep Bae Suzy if I want. I just can’t do that whole process more than once. I understand that this sounds a little complicated, but once you work it through with your own plan you’ll see what I mean. If you are totally happy with your things the way they are, you can skip this category.
- Team GIF II - You know it. You love it. You craved it, and now you get it. A SECOND F***ING GIF! WOOOOO!
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE EIGHTEEN! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Striiker - Allentown Attack
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIESBeef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Striiker - Allentown Attack
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| D.C. Mutineers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
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Last edited:
ro Bowler
