Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome to The Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, SUPER PEJORATIVE BEDARDED PHASE TWENTY-SIX!
PEJORATIVE URR!
First of all, we are thinking of Asnito and sending him all of our thoughts and prayers. Hopefully everything is OK and turns out well. I put him at the bottom of the order, but unless and until we hear from him we will just skip his turn when it comes around.
I wasn’t sure we could do it, but we managed to cobble together 12 things to pick. There are other potential categories still out there, but from here on out we are all going to have to put on our big-boy pants and engage the nether reaches of our imagination and find shit to pick like grown-assed damned men. It’s bound to get pretty esoteric in here.
Speaking of drafts, it’s also getting very cold now, innit. So warm your cockles and fill your boots – don’t leave yourself short out there in space.
THE HOCKEY SHIT
This is, of course, the time when we finally decide who gets Connor Bedard. Several of us couldn’t give a shit less, but for others this is very important. All I can tell you is that I did this fairly and randomly, like always. I wouldn’t even know who to give him to if I wanted to cheat, and I don’t want to cheat anyway. Obviously you don’t have to take Bedard if you get the first pick, but eventually you will have to decide on five players who were drafted in this past NHL draft and add them to your stable of stupid hockey players. And I totally forget about the other guy to pick
- Futurehead
- Futurehead
- Futurehead
- Futurehead
- Futurehead
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team Bar/Hangout – this can be a fictional or real place, but you can’t pick someplace that is a part of someone’s choice from before. Here is what I mean. I picked the TV show “Babylon Berlin,” right? None of youse could pick a bar/hangout from that show. I also picked author Roddy Doyle – you couldn’t pick a bar/hangout from his ouvre. I also picked Dr. Benton Quest from “Jonny Quest,” but I didn’t pick the show – therefore, you could pick someplace from that show. See what I mean? It’s hard to create an umbrella rule for this without a thousand examples, but I have a very clear picture in my mind of what can and can’t be picked, so we may have to adjudicate as we go along. As far as what constitutes that “hangout” part of this, it can be any place where a squad or group or whatever could hang out – so it could be a bar, or a lair, or whatever – use your imagination if you want.
- Team Commando – this can be a real or fictional figure, and it can be someone who was used as a commando OR someone who COULD serve as a commando. In other words, you’d want them to have commando skills regardless of whether or not they have been a commando before. Same kind of rules as the above apply, as they do for every category ever unless otherwise explicitly stated. I am super cereal.
- Team Commercial/Advertisement – this can be a TV commercial or a print ad, or a TV or print ad campaign. So you can choose either a single TV/print ad, or a series of them. I don’t think there will be any overlap with stuff we have chosen before, but if there is we will strike you down with furious vengeance.
- Team Flower – this is your team flower. How’s that for an explanation? Like the Team Century/Decade categories, this can be a flower that you want to see a lot of in your settlement in the Quackverse. Depending on existing biology out there, it could be your one and only flower, so choose wisely.
- Team Goodwill Ambassador – I chose Audrey Hepburn for president largely because of her sweet personality and ability to make everyone like her and get along with her. Those are the kind of qualities you want, as this person will be responsible for inter-settlement relations. Or, if you are a total misanthropist, you could choose some dickhead who can’t get along with anyone because you want to start strife with your fellow Quacks. It’s up to you, but this is not a spite category.
- Team Scientist – We have a team doctor, but we don’t have a team scientist – I double-checked to be sure. This can be a fictional or real scientist, sane or mad, suited for whatever purpose you can think up.
- Team Street Food – this is going to be great, except that I can’t remember the names of anything I ate in Thailand, so the boxes might be on their period when I get to this one. Try not to pick something someone has chosen before – the food categories can be difficult for things like this, but at least make an effort.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Hollywood Cannon - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Striiker - Allentown Attack
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
BernieParent - Halifax Galleons
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIESRebels57 - Portland Fog
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Hollywood Cannon - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Striiker - Allentown Attack
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
BernieParent - Halifax Galleons
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| D.C. Mutineers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
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