Confirmed with Link: Meme/Like thread 3 - 2020 edition
- Thread starter Unsustainable
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Unsustainable
Seth Jarvis has Big Kahunas
Unsustainable
Seth Jarvis has Big Kahunas
Nikishin Go Boom
Russian Bulldozer Consultent
- Jul 31, 2017
- 23,708
- 55,334
now that is the dark funny stuff I like.RELATED:
Perry Bible Fellowship comics. Check it out!
Nikishin Go Boom
Russian Bulldozer Consultent
- Jul 31, 2017
- 23,708
- 55,334
Lempo
Recovering Future Considerations Truther
- Feb 23, 2014
- 27,712
- 86,651
On a lighter note:
A guy walks into a bar and says “Gimme twenty shots of your best bourbon.” The bartender pours the shots, and the guy immediately pounds them all down like a madman.
The bartender says “Man, I’ve never seen anybody drink like that before.”
He says “You’d drink like that too if you had what I have.”
“What do you have?” asks the bartender.
The guy says “Fifty cents.”
———————————————————-
A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. They say their marriage is on the rocks because they never speak to each other.
The counselor tries to get them to talk, but they just sit there with their arms folded and their mouths closed. He tries playing games. He tries tricking them. Nothing he can do can get them to talk to each other.
Finally, he pulls out an electric bass and starts playing a solo.
Instantly, the couple turns to each other and starts conversing for the first time in months.
“How on earth did you know that would work?” they ask.
“Simple,” he says, “Everyone always talks during the bass solo.”
(*except when this man plays)
—————————————————————
A recent bride accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the bride aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast, including hot chocolate and Belgium waffles, and send him off to work with a kiss on his cheek and in a good mood.
At lunchtime, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.
At night, make love with him several times a week. Be tender with him, do whatever he asks you to do as if you were on another honeymoon, and satisfy his every whim.”
Afterwards, on the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had said.
“You’re going to die,” she replied.
A guy walks into a bar and says “Gimme twenty shots of your best bourbon.” The bartender pours the shots, and the guy immediately pounds them all down like a madman.
The bartender says “Man, I’ve never seen anybody drink like that before.”
He says “You’d drink like that too if you had what I have.”
“What do you have?” asks the bartender.
The guy says “Fifty cents.”
———————————————————-
A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. They say their marriage is on the rocks because they never speak to each other.
The counselor tries to get them to talk, but they just sit there with their arms folded and their mouths closed. He tries playing games. He tries tricking them. Nothing he can do can get them to talk to each other.
Finally, he pulls out an electric bass and starts playing a solo.
Instantly, the couple turns to each other and starts conversing for the first time in months.
“How on earth did you know that would work?” they ask.
“Simple,” he says, “Everyone always talks during the bass solo.”
(*except when this man plays)
—————————————————————
A recent bride accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the bride aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast, including hot chocolate and Belgium waffles, and send him off to work with a kiss on his cheek and in a good mood.
At lunchtime, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.
At night, make love with him several times a week. Be tender with him, do whatever he asks you to do as if you were on another honeymoon, and satisfy his every whim.”
Afterwards, on the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had said.
“You’re going to die,” she replied.
Nikishin Go Boom
Russian Bulldozer Consultent
- Jul 31, 2017
- 23,708
- 55,334
I think about this one when I get the urge to be an internet grammar scold:
Unsustainable
Seth Jarvis has Big Kahunas
Unsustainable
Seth Jarvis has Big Kahunas
- Oct 31, 2007
- 40,628
- 47,213
I'm pretty sure you're usually visited by government men in black suits after finding something like that.
Nah, I'm pretty sure he forgets such visits VERY quickly.
Unsustainable
Seth Jarvis has Big Kahunas
Wrong paste. I’ve had it deleted. Problem with using the phone & Word app lol.
Sorry about that. Here we go:
A man wakes up in the morning to find a bear on his roof, so he looks up ‘Bear Removers’, calls them up, and the remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.
When the bear remover arrives, he’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
“What are you going to do?” the homeowner asks.
“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go
up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
“What’s this for?” asks the homeowner?
“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”
Last edited:
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Seth Jarvis has Big Kahunas
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