LNGE Summer BBQ Thread (2022)

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

I’ll be bringing some steaks for us VIP attendees

 

[Mr. Met]

I'm vegan

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

I'm vegan

Go home

 

[Tarantula]

I'm vegan

Most of the animals I eat are vegans as well...

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Reminder: There will be none of this “vegan” bullshit either this year folks.

Wanna pull that shit?? Leave your tree-huggin’, tofu-eatin’, ass at home this year. Nobody eats the garbage “meat substitutes” you bring either. And they take up valuable table room, which can be otherwise used for more meat.

This sacred date is a celebration of meat.

Beef n brewskis with The Boys!!

 

[Conrad McBenis]

Sorry turdboss @MetalheadPenguinsFan and cuckboy @The Crypto Guy aren't invited. Only people that have friends are allowed. No creepy people that stare at children at the mall.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Sorry turdboss @MetalheadPenguinsFan and cuckboy @The Crypto Guy aren't invited. Only people that have friends are allowed. No creepy people that stare at children at the mall.

Shut your whore mouth you peasant and go to the store. We need napkins and paper plates and ice.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Have we set a date??

 

[Hammettf2b]

Have we set a date??

Its getting pushed back because we still need a few more freight trucks of food for @RayP's wife

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Its getting pushed back because we still need a few more freight trucks of food for @RayP's wife

Ah yes…Hungry Helga.

 

[TheGreenTBer]

I’ll be bringing some steaks for us VIP attendees

I generally follow these guidelines:

Step 1: Buy the best possible meat you can get, from someone you trust. Dry-aged is super expensive and while delicious, I'd argue not necessary.

Step 2: Let it come to room temperature, and generously cover it with coarse salt. You can do pepper as well but be careful of burning because you are going to rip the shit out of this thing at a ridiculously high temperature.

Step 3: If you're not using lump charcoal or a heavy cast-iron skillet gradually heated to the temperature of Hades, you're probably not going to do it right with a home kitchen. Regular gas grills just don't get hot enough in my opinion. The Japanese make this charcoal called binchotan that burns at like 1,800 degrees F and is so hard that it clinks like glass. It's hard to light but will burn for an hour with limited smoke and odor. Unfortunately, it's super expensive but it is the BOMB. If you're using a cast-iron skillet, it better be HEAVY and heated to a temperature that would wake the dead.

Step 4: Burn on one side until you start to see juices come out the top. Flip over and do the same on the other side, and then immediately take the meat off and let it rest so that the juices recede back into the meat and you don't overcook it. Anyone that likes a steak cooked past medium-rare is objectively wrong, i will tolerate no one's bullshit on that statement.

Step 5: Serve. If anyone asks for steak sauce, either tell them no or dump the steak sauce on their head.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

I generally follow these guidelines:

Step 1: Buy the best possible meat you can get, from someone you trust. Dry-aged is super expensive and while delicious, I'd argue not necessary.

Step 2: Let it come to room temperature, and generously cover it with coarse salt. You can do pepper as well but be careful of burning because you are going to rip the shit out of this thing at a ridiculously high temperature.

Step 3: If you're not using lump charcoal or a heavy cast-iron skillet gradually heated to the temperature of Hades, you're probably not going to do it right with a home kitchen. Regular gas grills just don't get hot enough in my opinion. The Japanese make this charcoal called binchotan that burns at like 1,800 degrees F and is so hard that it clinks like glass. It's hard to light but will burn for an hour with limited smoke and odor. Unfortunately, it's super expensive but it is the BOMB. If you're using a cast-iron skillet, it better be HEAVY and heated to a temperature that would wake the dead.

Step 4: Burn on one side until you start to see juices come out the top. Flip over and do the same on the other side, and then immediately take the meat off and let it rest so that the juices recede back into the meat and you don't overcook it. Anyone that likes a steak cooked past medium-rare is objectively wrong, i will tolerate no one's bullshit on that statement.

Step 5: Serve. If anyone asks for steak sauce, either tell them no or dump the steak sauce on their head.

Very informative my friend. Thank you.

For step 5 you forgot to add “tell them to GTFO” though.

 

[TheGreenTBer]

Very informative my friend. Thank you.

For step 5 you forgot to add “tell them to GTFO” though.

In the end it's everyone's discretion except for one thing: the cooking past medium-rare. That is inhumane.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

In the end it's everyone's discretion except for one thing: the cooking past medium-rare. That is inhumane.

Damn right.

If you ask for anything past medium rare, you aren’t welcome at my BBQ.

Eat your overcooked shoe leather at home!!!

 

[TheGreenTBer]

@MetalheadPenguinsFan I gave my young daughter a choice between broccoli or carrots for her vegetable tonight. Her response was, and I quote: "Steak."

I may be a complete failure as a human being but I must be doing some things right.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

@MetalheadPenguinsFan I gave my young daughter a choice between broccoli or carrots for her vegetable tonight. Her response was, and I quote: "Steak."

I may be a complete failure as a human being but I must be doing some things right.

You should be one proud Papa. I know I would be…

 

[Tarantula]

I'm vegan

Great I'm a cannibal... consider yourself on the menu, err the "special" invite list.

 

[RayP]

We are going to need someone to take @Guerzy ‘s place in the summer BBQ. Anyone have any suggestions?

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

We are going to need someone to take @Guerzy ‘s place in the summer BBQ. Anyone have any suggestions?

Howsabout @Fixed to Ruin

 

[Fixed to Ruin]

Howsabout @Fixed to Ruin

Pros i am good on the grill.
Cons i am not good at side dishes.

 

[TheGreenTBer]

Pros i am good on the grill.
Cons i am not good at side dishes.

don't you live in Alberta? pretty sure the side dish for a steak is another steak out there.

 

[Fixed to Ruin]

don't you live in Alberta? pretty sure the side dish for a steak is another steak out there.

Yes. That is correct.

That's why they come in a pack of two at the store.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

You’re hired!!

@Fixed to Ruin

 

[Fixed to Ruin]

Making steaks for the boys