This. Print the t-shirts. Inscribe it on the statue. Get it notarized. Our roster plays a neat system and generates nice advanced stats, but none of it compensates for chronically terrible shot-quality. No one-timers, no aim, no snipes. Habs can drive the play forward, cycle the puck, keep possession, but nobody has the hands to laser the puck into the net. Our team specializes in crest-polishing for goalies.
"Hey, goalies! Want your Save-Percentage to go up and logo-grime to go down? Get 'Habs-2-Hasek', the powerful detergent with our patented 'Chest-Thump' technology that puts a brilliant shine on your jersey's crest with dozens of anti-bacterial and totally harmless shots! Even works great on backups!"