Movies: Last Movie You Watched and Rate it | {Insert Appropriate Seasonal Greeting Here}

[kihei]

Best of '23: Final Ranking

1) Riceboy Sleeps, Shim, Canada
2) Anatomy of a Fall, Triet, France
3) The Taste of Things, Tran, France
4) Perfect Days, Wenders, Japan
5) Oppenheimer, Nolan, US
6) The Zone of Interest, Glazer, UK
7) Poor Things, Lanthimos, US
8) El Conde, Larrain, Chile
9) Close Your Eyes, Erice, Spain
10) Barbie, Gerwig, US

11) American Fiction, Jefferson, US
12) The Promised Land, Arcel, Denmark
13) Io Capitano, Garrone, Italy
14) The Settlers, Galvez, Chile
15) Mami Wata, Obasi, Nigeria
16) Society of the Snow, Bayona, Spain
17) Afire, Petzold, Germany
18) Godzilla, Minus One, Yamazaki, Japan
19) Talk to Me, Philippou brothers, Australia
20) I Have Electric Dreams, Maurel, Costa Rica

 

[Osprey]

Turbulence 2: Fear of Flying (1999) - 4/10

Terrorists bring nerve toxin on board a commercial flight that's filled with passengers who are part of a "fear of flying" therapy group. I suppose that getting on a plane with terrorists is one way to test whether you've overcome your flying fears. This straight to video sequel is bad and has the look of a TV movie. It's unrealistic, and not just because of the incredibly wide aisle and ample leg room. One of the passengers is an aeronautical engineer who's an expert on airliners and knows how to fly them, despite being scared of flying. Also, while flying over the airport, the bad guy tosses a passenger from the plane and right through the glass ceiling of the very control tower that he's sending a message to. Maybe he, too, was an aeronautical engineer to have calculated all of the factors necessary to make that shot. The movie has laughably bad dialogue and effects and even uses stock video and clips from the first movie a few times. The only positive for me was the setting, but being a sucker for movies on planes only goes so far. At least I learned that I do have some standards when it comes to them (low though they may be), and at least it was free on The Roku Channel.

---

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001) - 4/10

Satanic hijackers crash a goth rocker's farewell concert on a Boeing 747. That's right... the movie features a hard rock concert on a plane in flight, with ear-bleed-inducing music, extreme stage antics and more goth groupies than you can shake a metal detector at. But wait, there's more. The whole thing is being streamed live on the internet (at 35,000 feet, in 2001), because seemingly every bad movie in the 2000s had to incorporate that to be modern. Naturally, there's also a rogue computer hacker who's hacked into the plane and helping the FBI from the comfort of his studio apartment. He (rather than a pilot or someone from the FAA) eventually walks a person through flying the plane because he's into flight simulators and, as we all know from movies, that makes you an expert on flying jumbo jets. In all, the writers somehow found an even more preposterous plot for a sequel than the last one. This movie is so bad, so stupid, that I was nearly in tears at the end from laughing at it. I was going to give it a 3/10, but I'm still laughing as I write this and being "so bad it's funny" is probably worth a point. It, too, is free on The Roku Channel. Don't say I didn't warn you.

 

[The Macho King]

Watched one of my guilty pleasures - Rounders

The poker is terrible. Malkovichs accent is one of the... boldest decisions an actor has ever made. Damon is pretty wooden. Norton gives a great piece of shit performance.

Perfect movie. 10/10

I want to come back to this for a bit of meta-commentary.

I don't know the word for something isn't "so bad it's good", and it's also shy of objectively good (or at least great), but is just so watchable and comforting. Like some of my other "watch it 50 times and I'd watch it again right now if I have a chance" is stuff like The Big Lebowski, Master and Commander, etc. Objectively great movies that just have an extra resonance.

But like I said, this one is not great. Malkovich is a cartoon character. Damon is at his least charming. Norton - okay he's objectively good in it. You have John Torturro but he's not doing much other than being the wet blanket. But god damn if I don't watch this movie four times a year and love it every time. What is up with that?

 

[Tasty Biscuits]

I want to come back to this for a bit of meta-commentary.

How old were you when you saw it for the first time?

 

[The Macho King]

How old were you when you saw it for the first time?

22 maybe?

 

[kihei]

Tiger Stripes (2023) Directed by Amanda Nell Eu 6B

Twelve-year-old Zaffan goes to a Muslim school for girls in Malaysia. She is wilful and exuberant and something of a handful for her arch-conservative teachers. She is the first in her group to experience menstruation which initially frightens her and eventually sets her apart from all the other young girls who have yet to do so. As she becomes more and more ostracized from the authorities and even from own her friends, she transforms into a creature out of Malaysian folk-lore--a were-tiger and a figure to be feared. Tiger Stripes initial charm, humour and energy does not always mesh that well with the modest body horror that is to follow. Yet director Amanda Nell Eu takes a clever approach to female transformation that works as a literary metaphor better than it does visually on the screen. Nell Eu views menstruation in her society as indeed marking a turning point, one is which women eventually cease being docile girls and become more independent and more demanding of the freedom to discover their own identity. That message comes through even when the narrative gets a little clunky. Nell Eu gets fine performances from her young actresses, and Tiger Stripes offers a pleasantly different cultural vibe along with some lovely images. In the end the movie plays like a somewhat gentler, more subtle, way less gory take on the Canadian horror film Ginger Snaps which also dealt with the transformative power of menstruation.

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[NyQuil]

But like I said, this one is not great. Malkovich is a cartoon character. Damon is at his least charming. Norton - okay he's objectively good in it. You have John Torturro but he's not doing much other than being the wet blanket. But god damn if I don't watch this movie four times a year and love it every time. What is up with that?

It's got good pacing.

Sometimes that's enough.

I don't know how many times I've watched Gone in 60 Seconds because it's awful and predictable and hammy but there you have it.

 

[The Macho King]

Watched Raising Arizona the other night.

Just a charming, wonderful good time. All the performances are great, but this movie really reminded me how annoying it is that Holly Hunter wasn't the biggest movie star on the planet during the 90s. I think this came out the exact same year as Broadcast News. What a year!

IDK - she's fantastic and has a ton of amazing roles, but also kind of disappeared it seems in the late 90s.

Anyway - movie is good. The little tussle between Cage and Goodman in the middle of the film had strong Raimi vibes - I know the Coens and Raimi were close so I assumed he gave them some ideas on the shot there because it's not very Coen-y?

Very sweet movie. The Coens are great at making a dumbass's logic somehow tie together.

7.5/10

 

[shadow1]

Ernest Goes to Africa (1997) - 5/10

After a case of mistaken identity, Ernest P. Worrell is kidnapped and smuggled to Africa.

Jim Varney stars as Ernest, this time working as a mechanic in Ohio. Ernest longs for waitress Rene (Linda Kash), and buys her a gift from a local flea market - two jewels that he turns into a yo-yo. Unbeknownst to him, the jewels had been stolen from a tribe in Africa, and smuggler Thompson (Jamie Bartlett) is after them. Believing Ernest to be undercover "Agent 32", Thompson kidnaps him and Rene to Africa to answer to his superiors...

Ernest Goes to Africa was written and directed by Ernest creator John R. Cherry. The eighth film in the series and fourth direct-to-video entry, Ernest Goes to Africa was filmed on location in Johannesburg. How does the penultimate Ernest movie fare?

A heck of a lot better than I thought it would, while also being an extremely problematic entry. Ernest Goes to Africa is painfully low budget, with stock footage galore, main characters spending large periods of time wading through desolate grassy fields, and video quality that looks like it was shot on camcorder. Factor in its stupidly generic plot, along with the context of how bad some of the other Ernest movies are, and Ernest Goes to Africa has the ingredients to be a complete disaster.

Shockingly, Ernest Goes to Africa is one of the more watchable direct-to-video entries. Many of the other series entries are painful to sit though due to terrible pacing and unfunny comedy, but that isn't a problem with this one. Jim Varney is on screen almost 100% of the time (unlike most other series entries, which almost always have two unfunny nincompoop side characters trying to carry some of the comedy load), and he's as entertaining as ever. The film overall goes by pretty quickly and enough jokes land that the movie is decent enough to be mindless popcorn entertainment.

...assuming you can ignore how extremely insensitive it is. Multiple characters do brown face; once (I think) due to budgeting reasons, the other - Jim Varney - for comedy reasons. Ernest is always a master of disguise, with Auntie Nelda being a personal favorite. However, Varney's portrayal of an Indian person isn't funny and is distasteful even by 1997 standards. I'm actually shocked given how sensitive 1995's Slam Dunk Ernest is. In that film, Ernest is desperate to join an all-African America basketball team; yet the film draws very little attention to race, and none of the film's comedy is derived from it.

Furthermore, none of the people in Africa are portrayed in a positive light. They're either villains who want the diamonds, or tribal people who want to cook and eat Ernest. On top of that, the film has a couple moments that have what I'll call sexual assault overtones, with Rene bound and left vulnerable in a secluded location with one or more villains. Even Ernest, undercover as a female dancer, is forced to kiss someone against his will.

Overall, Ernest Goes to Africa has severe enlightenment problems, on top of many of the same problems found in other Ernest films. However, it is the least annoying and probably most watchable of the direct-to-video entries (I know that's not exactly a high bar). Ernest Goes to Africa is almost universally cited as the worst film in the series; for me it's definitely not, and I recommend checking it out if you're a fan of Jim Varney. If you're not, stay far away: it's crap, but crap I found some enjoyment in.

 

[kihei]

The Peasants (2023) Directed by Hugh Welchman and D K Welchman 4A

Set in the 19th century in rural Polish village filled with jealousy, envy and superstition, Jagna, a beautiful and much desired peasant girl, loathes her forced marriage to the town's leading farmer, a stubborn old man embroiled in a family feud that toxically involves with whom she should bestow her sexual favours. Although the novel on which The Peasants is based won a Nobel Prize for its author Wladyslaw Reymont, the narrative is a predictable melodramatic mishmash about stereotypical patriarchal types and scheming, gossiping women. There is only one sympathetic character in the movie and he is in a minor role. Even Jagna is a less than ideal heroine herself. So although the novel is throwback to potboilers of the distant past, the method of delivery of this story is noteworthy. The film is shot in painterly animation by the same directors who gave us Loving Vincent, an animated style in which everything looks like a constantly shifting and moving 19th century painting. This approach is impressive for about ten minutes and then the magic wears off quickly and rapidly turns to tedium. While such animation makes some sense in a movie about Van Gogh, it proves a major distraction here, often lending itself to grotesquery and unintentional humour. One of its unintended consequences is that The Peasants seems half again as long as its nearly two hour running time.

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[Tasty Biscuits]

22 maybe?

I may be off-base here, but I feel like most of the movies people have in their "can just toss on anytime and watch" stables are ones they first watched when they were younger. There's some sort of nostalgic/comfortfood effect at play, even if its subconscious. Again, might be wildly off-base.

 

[Osprey]

Ernest Goes to Africa (1997) - 5/10

I haven't seen this one or any of the straight-to-video sequels. I liked the first 4 or 5 when I was young. A couple of months ago, I watched Ernest Saves Christmas for the first time in over 30 years, since I thought that my nephew might like it, and was rather disappointed. It had charm, but it just wasn't nearly as funny as I remembered. I had to ask myself why I liked it so much as a kid and even turned to my dad and half-seriously apologized for dragging him to these movies, since I could now see how they might appeal only to kids. I had plans to re-watch some of the others that I fondly remember, like Ernest Goes to Camp, but now I'm afraid to because I don't want to ruin more precious childhood memories.

 

[shadow1]

I haven't seen this one or any of the straight-to-video sequels. I liked the first 4 or 5 when I was young. A couple of months ago, I watched Ernest Saves Christmas for the first time in over 30 years, since I thought that my nephew might like it, and was rather disappointed. It had charm, but it just wasn't nearly as funny as I remembered. I had to ask myself why I liked it so much as a kid and even turned to my dad and half-seriously apologized for dragging him to these movies, since I could now see how they might appeal only to kids. I had plans to re-watch some of the others that I fondly remember, like Ernest Goes to Camp, but now I'm afraid to because I don't want to ruin more precious childhood memories.

Have no fear: the gold standards are Ernest Goes to Jail and Ernest Scared Stupid. Not masterpieces by any stretch, but Jail is easily the funniest Ernest movie, and Scared Stupid is reasonably solid overall with great creature effects (reused the creatures from Killer Klowns from Outer Space).

Your analysis of Ernest Saves Christmas is pretty much the consensus amongst the fans. I felt the same after rewatching it in recent years: a "meh" movie which isn't particularly funny or memorable outside of the scene with Vern. After having now seen Africa, Ernest Goes to Camp is the only movie I've never seen, but my understanding is it's considered to be a strong Ernest entry.

The direct-to-video movies are pretty much hot dog water. Sitting through Ernest Rides Again is about as fun as getting a root canal, which is why I gave a generous "5" to Ernest Goes to Africa; as offensive as parts of it were, I wasn't checking my watch every 5 minutes. I ultimately think Ernest was at his best in commercial form, harassing poor Vern.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Two lesser Sam Peckinpah's.

The Killer Elite. James Caan faces off against Robert Duvall as a pair of mercenaries on the opposite sides of an assassination plot. This is the best Cannon Films movie that Cannon Films never made. Grizzled dudes. Assassination. Ninjas. It's not hard to imagine a lesser version toplined by a Chuck Norris or Charles Bronson. But this has Caan and Duvall so it rises above. Their rapport is what really elevates it from forgetable garbage both in the opening scene where they're coworkers and later confrontations where they maintain a bit of a cordial "just business" attitude, particularly Duvall. They're slumming, sure. But they're good at it. Bo Hopkins and Burt Young (who fights a ninja!) are memorable in supporting roles. Has the tiniest hints of The Wild Bunch. A solid bit of entertainment.

The Osterman Weekend. Peckinpah's last feature film before he'd close his career directing music videos for ... **checks notes** Julian Lennon? This is a Robert Ludlum airport paperback conspiracy. A TV reporter is recruited by the government to get evidence that three old college buddies are doing dirty business with Russia (it's the 80s). He invites the families over to his heavily surveiled house for a weekend. It's The Big Chill, but with treason. There are a lot of ways this is not good. Peckinpah's movies often are aggressively edited, but this one may take the cake. Too much slo-mo. I don't want to blame MTV because he'd been doing some of this stuff on his own for years, but if certainly feels music video quality. If you can't figure out the conspiracy pretty quick you don't watch enough movies. Rutger Hauer is an actor I often love but having him play the straight laced reporter just doesn't full click. I'd be tempted to say swap him with Craig T. Nelson's fat mustached ringleader, but Nelson's pretty fun. Dennis Hopper, Chris Sarandon, John Hurt, Burt Lancaster(!) and Meg Foster's giant blue peepers are all here too. So while the filmmaking almost gave me a headache, this is a cast of big overstuffed ham sandwiches who are more than happy to wallow in the dreck. There's fun in that. Also, there's a ton of very 1980s tech and I'm a sucker for that. This has memorable 1980s VHS box but that art though it is from the movie conveys absolutely nothing about the movie.

 

[kihei]

20 Days in Mariupol (2024) Directed by Mstyslav Chernov

Photojournalist Mstyslav Chernov and a small group of his Associated Press colleagues chose to stay in Mariupol after the Russians began the invasion of the Ukraine by attacking the city, a coastal, industrial target a mere 30 miles from the Russian border. This documentary represents what these brave men witnessed in the nearly three weeks that they risked their lives to photograph the carnage. Vladimir Putin claimed his troops would not target civilians and then his military proceeded to brutally do exactly that. 20 Days in Mariupol is one of the most harrowing experiences that I have ever had in a movie theatre. I was alternately sickened, angered and depressed by what I saw. Though small in numbers, the group of journalists did an excellent job of documenting the atrocities that they witnessed, the full force levelled upon the city by tanks, bombers and ground troops. We meet a lot of ordinary people stuck in the middle of hell, all of them victims or potential victims trapped in a city from which there is no exit. In addition to the toll on average citizens, we witness such images as tanks surrounding a hospital, a maternity ward being deliberately destroyed by Russian artillery, a child playing soccer who becomes a casualty of shrapnel, and tanks and bombers targeting residential areas. The camera doesn't shy away from the maiming, the blood-letting and the death that follows, often including children. Chernov managed to smuggle much of his footage out of the country during the invasion, and it is lucky that he did because these sequences ended up being the only on-the-ground witnessing of what was occurring available to Western media. If Putin is ever held responsible for war crimes, 20 Days in Mariupol will all by itself make a telling case for the prosecution.

Note: I think it would be foolish on my part to attempt to "rate" a documentary like this one. I will only say that 20 Days in Mariupol should be seen by as wide an audience as possible.

 

[kingsfan28]

Miracle...Again!
Just absolutely love this movie.

 

[Puck]

This might be weird enough to be interesting. Although I doubt an obscure Estonian film will be easily found anywhere. Might have to wait awhile to catch this one

A Kung Fu Comedy About Orthodox Monks Proves Estonia Is Home to Europe’s Most Peculiar Cinematic Storytelling

Director Rainer Sarnet talks "The Invisible Fight," a kung fu comedy about orthodox monks fighting to the tune of Black Sabbath in the 1970s.

www.indiewire.com

 

[Tkachuk4MVP]

Best of '23: Final Ranking

1) Riceboy Sleeps, Shim, Canada
2) Anatomy of a Fall, Triet, France
3) The Taste of Things, Tran, France
4) Perfect Days, Wenders, Japan
5) Oppenheimer, Nolan, US
6) Poor Things, Lanthimos, US
7) The Zone of Interest, Glazer, UK
8) El Conde, Larrain, Chile
9) Close Your Eyes, Erice, Spain
10) Barbie, Gerwig, US

11) American Fiction, Jefferson, US
12) The Promised Land, Arcel, Denmark
13) Io Capitano, Garrone, Italy
14) Mami Wata, Obasi, Nigeria
15) Society of the Snow, Bayona, Spain
16) Afire, Petzold, Germany
17) Godzilla, Minus One, Yamazaki, Japan
18) Talk to Me, Philippou brothers, Australia
19) The Night of the 12th, Moll, France
20) I Have Electric Dreams, Maurel, Costa Rica

Killers of the Flower Moon not even in the top 20, eh? I still have a lot left to see, but that’s sitting in my #1 spot right now.


And I also saw an early screening of Dune: Part Two. My rating is somewhere in the 9-9.5/10 range.

Blockbuster filmmaking at its finest. Go see it on the biggest screen you can.

 

[Spring in Fialta]

Someone asked me for a top 10 list and all it did was remind me how it'd been so long since I'd watched one of them. So I watched two and will probably keep going.

Zelig (1983) - The greatest comedy of all-time. 8848484/10.

Un zoo la nuit (1987) - Jean-Claude Lauzon was an extraordinary talent gone way too soon. Man, that movie oozes with Montreal style. Incredibly touching as well. The elephant scene is one of my favorite sequences of all-time, between the cry and the fall and the expression. I'd love to find a way to watch his last feature, Leolo (1992).

 

[Bahama Mama]

Seems like I'm on a string of crap movies, this one was Armageddon, what were they thinking, what a joke. Can't stand wasting my time watching movies that are so unfulfilling, yet many have been suggested and or recommended.

Armageddon - Das jüngste Gericht (1998) ⭐ 6.7 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

2h 31m | 12

www.imdb.com

 

[kingsfan28]

Crap X , I mean Fast X

It took 2 days to get through this crapfest. I couldn't wait for it to end. The stunt cgi are so far beyond what physic states you can do it became distracting. Jason Mamoa performance was the worst I've ever seen anyone as a villain. It's like he took every know movie villain, put it into a blender, drank it, then barfed out the results. ZERO ️

 

[The Crypto Guy]

Fast X

6/10

Another good shut your brain off movie. Not sure who goes into these movies anymore expecting much of anything.

 

[kingsfan28]

Fast X

6/10

Another good shut your brain off movie. Not sure who goes into these movies anymore expecting much of anything.

My logical brain just wouldn't shut off. It really tried too.

 

[kihei]

Totem (2023) Directed by Lila Aviles 6B

Sol, a seven-year-old girl, observes the day-long activities as her extended family of cousins and aunts and uncles make preparations for a birthday party for her father Tona. While on one level this marks a celebration, it also brings with it the awareness for many people in the gathering that this is likely going to be Tona's last birthday party, as well. Totem is about how his loved ones and friends react, badly or well, to this realization and how much of this moment is clear to Sol and what impact that it has on her. So much of this film is beautifully judged, its approach to grief perceptive and relatable. I should love this movie; I certainly wanted to. But I found the style, which overuses hand-held cameras and extreme close ups to a claustrophobic and distracting extent, simply overbearing and unnecessary. Perhaps director Lila Aviles was going for a sense of immediacy here, but her camerawork just took away from the emotional impact that Totem was clearly meant to deliver. Totem is still a lovely film to behold, and I wish I could embrace it fully, but I can't

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[Puck]

Overlooked films of 2023, a few I had never heard of...

In Memoriam: The 10 Great Movies That Were Forgotten This Oscar Season | Features | Roger Ebert

A stellar year in cinema means that not every worthy film got recognized with nominations. But just because the Academy overlooked these movies doesn’t mean you should too.

www.rogerebert.com