Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993) - 2/10
Jason X (2001) - 5/10
Freddy vs Jason (2003) - 4/10
Friday the 13th (2009) - 5/10
Jason Goes to Hell is diarrhea. A bit blunt perhaps, but it's a terrible movie made worse by the fact that it thinks it's smart and witty. Director Adam Marcus has a massive ego, and has repeatedly pointed the finger at fans for "not getting" what he was going for. Sorry douchebag, but I've seen Taco Bell receipts with more interesting plots than this film. I was surprised to find out Harry Manfredini, returning after skipping Part VIII, is responsible for this film's horrible score. Just a film that fails on so many levels, but avoid's a "1" rating because objectively worse films exist, unfortunately.
Jason X is a bad movie, but a bad movie I like. It has a horrible concept and looks incredibly cheap. But it's also drenched in cheese, with fun kills and intentionally bad dialogue you can't help but laugh at. I might be losing my marbles, but I'm bumping this movie up slightly to a 5. Though it is clearly has its sights set low (VERY low...), it manages to be entertaining popcorn fun. During this rewatch, Jason X was the only film after Part VII that I actually enjoyed watching.
Freddy vs. Jason is forgettable in the literal sense. Every time I watch it it feels like the first time all over again because I've forgotten so much of it due to how unmemorable it is. The film has the most involved plot of the entire franchise, but too many story threads go nowhere and end up making the movie feel needlessly bloated. And what's up with that weird
slow motion/stop motion thing they use throughout the movie? I just can't get into this one. Its lack of laughs and scares is a far more deadly combination than Freddy and Jason could ever hope to be.
What was I smoking with my previous review of Friday the 13th '09? Sorry, I had to cram a weed reference in there somewhere, but I did like this movie a lot less this go around. I more or less agree with my previous review, but I neglected to mention how much of a chore the first half of the movie is to sit through. Too little happens in the early going, and the film isn't fun enough to make up for it (Dollar Tree Tom Cruise and his cronies need
way more campiness). The movie also has lighting issues, making it difficult to see what's going on at times, which definitely hurts it. This is only the third time I've seen Friday '09, and I'm bumping it down to a 5 for now. I still enjoy it more than Freddy vs. Jason, at least.
Thanks for reading! Another summer at Camp Crystal Lake is in the bag...or should I say tater sack.