Kid seems lost on the ice

[trailsmom]

Hi. This is my first post, apologies if I’m in the wrong category here. My son is U11, enjoys playing but gets really lost on the ice is the only way I can describe it. He’s a physical kid, he will likely be a D if he keeps going. Big if. I’m a mom. I run the score clock and scorekeep so I can hear the coaches yelling at him LOTS, “that’s you!” Go this way go that way. He shuts down completely and looks really unsure what to do. This breaks my heart to see my kid like this. He goes from smiling and getting in the corners to looking super confused. His skating and shooting are ok for the tier we are at (3) but his hockey sense needs help. I’m not a player but now I’m watching games trying to figure out what players do and where to go. Is there anything I can do to help him learn some of this stuff. He really likes playing on the ODR, he pretends he’s his favourite player but he’s usually alone or just one or two other kids. He may have a mild learning disability but I’m hesitant to talk to his coaches because I trust them to help what they can. I recall we did a football program first time and the coach understood he was new. Gave him one job “don’t let that kid catch the ball”. He did a great job with just one simple instruction and I could see the confidence go up. Any ideas to help hockey IQ? Thank you in advance. Really would love to help enjoy the game more.

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[Mr Jiggyfly]

Hi. This is my first post, apologies if I’m in the wrong category here. My son is U11, enjoys playing but gets really lost on the ice is the only way I can describe it. He’s a physical kid, he will likely be a D if he keeps going. Big if. I’m a mom. I run the score clock and scorekeep so I can hear the coaches yelling at him LOTS, “that’s you!” Go this way go that way. He shuts down completely and looks really unsure what to do. This breaks my heart to see my kid like this. He goes from smiling and getting in the corners to looking super confused. His skating and shooting are ok for the tier we are at (3) but his hockey sense needs help. I’m not a player but now I’m watching games trying to figure out what players do and where to go. Is there anything I can do to help him learn some of this stuff. He really likes playing on the ODR, he pretends he’s his favourite player but he’s usually alone or just one or two other kids. He may have a mild learning disability but I’m hesitant to talk to his coaches because I trust them to help what they can. I recall we did a football program first time and the coach understood he was new. Gave him one job “don’t let that kid catch the ball”. He did a great job with just one simple instruction and I could see the confidence go up. Any ideas to help hockey IQ? Thank you in advance. Really would love to help enjoy the game more.

Here are some great resources to help you and your son learn the game on a deeper level:

Howtohockey.com

This is a great site for beginners that can really help expand your knowledge of the game.

You said your son will eventually play D or wants to?

Here is a good article on what new players need to know about playing D:

How To Play Defense – Roles and Responsibilities – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

If he wants to play wing:

The Role of a Winger in Hockey – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

Center responsibilities:

The Role of a Centerman in Hockey – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

Reading these articles will give you a really solid foundation of what your son needs to be doing for each position all over the ice.

You can also get a subscription to LiveBarn if your local rink has it.

Then you and your son can review his games, and you can talk to him about his mistakes and what he should be doing instead.

You can also check out Itrainhockey:

https://itrainhockey.com/

Sean’s stuff is more advanced, but it can help you get a much deeper understanding of the mechanics (shooting, passing, skating, etc).

My daughter has also done Sean’s camps and she loves him - so if he does camps near you, your son would likely benefit greatly from working with him.

 

[JMCx4]

@trailsmom : IMO, the first action you need to take for the overall benefit of your son (in sports AND in all other aspects of his life) is replacing the notion: "He may have a mild learning disability" with either: "He has been professionally diagnosed with a learning disability" or: "It has been professionally confirmed that he does not have a learning disability." The professional diagnosis should come with advice that will redirect your expectations & inform you on positive next steps. For your self-education while seeking a professional diagnosis, this e-magazine article discusses some of the challenges for kids with attention deficit playing group sports. Good luck.

 

[trailsmom]

Here are some great resources to help you and your son learn the game on a deeper level:

Howtohockey.com

This is a great site for beginners that can really help expand your knowledge of the game.

You said your son will eventually play D or wants to?

Here is a good article on what new players need to know about playing D:

How To Play Defense – Roles and Responsibilities – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

If he wants to play wing:

The Role of a Winger in Hockey – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

Center responsibilities:

The Role of a Centerman in Hockey – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

Reading these articles will give you a really solid foundation of what your son needs to be doing for each position all over the ice.

You can also get a subscription to LiveBarn if your local rink has it.

Then you and your son can review his games, and you can talk to him about his mistakes and what he should be doing instead.

You can also check out Itrainhockey:

https://itrainhockey.com/

Sean’s stuff is more advanced, but it can help you get a much deeper understanding of the mechanics (shooting, passing, skating, etc).

My daughter has also done Sean’s camps and she loves him - so if he does camps near you, your son would likely benefit greatly from working with him.

Thank you for the resources. We will look at this together. I asked him this morning if he wanted to learn D and he said he likes forward. Which is great too. I just hope to see him feeling more confident in his role and see him smiling.

 

[trailsmom]

@trailsmom : IMO, the first action you need to take for the overall benefit of your son (in sports AND in all other aspects of his life) is replacing the notion: "He may have a mild learning disability" with either: "He has been professionally diagnosed with a learning disability" or: "It has been professionally confirmed that he does not have a learning disability." The professional diagnosis should come with advice that will redirect your expectations & inform you on positive next steps. For your self-education while seeking a professional diagnosis, this e-magazine article discusses some of the challenges for kids with attention deficit playing group sports. Good luck.

Thank you for your opinion. He was checked does not have a diagnosed learning disability. The reason I say that is because it runs in our family. As a mom I’m searching for ways to try and help him. He is clearly struggling with hockey understanding and it’s hard not compare with the kids that seem to catch on really quick. You are right and the way I worded that was unfair. I will change that going forward. Thank you.

 

[trailsmom]

Here are some great resources to help you and your son learn the game on a deeper level:

Howtohockey.com

This is a great site for beginners that can really help expand your knowledge of the game.

You said your son will eventually play D or wants to?

Here is a good article on what new players need to know about playing D:

How To Play Defense – Roles and Responsibilities – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

If he wants to play wing:

The Role of a Winger in Hockey – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

Center responsibilities:

The Role of a Centerman in Hockey – How To Hockey

howtohockey.com

Reading these articles will give you a really solid foundation of what your son needs to be doing for each position all over the ice.

You can also get a subscription to LiveBarn if your local rink has it.

Then you and your son can review his games, and you can talk to him about his mistakes and what he should be doing instead.

You can also check out Itrainhockey:

https://itrainhockey.com/

Sean’s stuff is more advanced, but it can help you get a much deeper understanding of the mechanics (shooting, passing, skating, etc).

My daughter has also done Sean’s camps and she loves him - so if he does camps near you, your son would likely benefit greatly from working with him.

I see Sean has a camp near us in February so that might be an option. Also, watching himself play is something I never considered. He was sick for a game and we watched his team. He said “do i skate that fast too”. Yes you do! It’s eye opening what we can learn from another vantage point.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Thank you for the resources. We will look at this together. I asked him this morning if he wanted to learn D and he said he likes forward. Which is great too. I just hope to see him feeling more confident in his role and see him smiling.

If he wants to play fwd I would suggest he plays wing for now.

It’s a much easier position to learn positionally than C or D.

D is really difficult and takes years to learn properly, so if he’s struggling like you mentioned, I’d try to push him away from defense.

I see Sean has a camp near us in February so that might be an option. Also, watching himself play is something I never considered. He was sick for a game and we watched his team. He said “do i skate that fast too”. Yes you do! It’s eye opening what we can learn from another vantage point.

My daughter and I have done film work together since she was 9 (she’s 13), and it has done wonders for her.

I just started helping one of her teammates and doing film work with him, and he and his mom have told me it’s really opened his eyes to how he played the game.

And this is AA, so he’s a talented kid, but he was just really confused positionally and it was holding him back.

He went from a low confidence kid that was literally in tears back in Sept (which is why I stepped in), to one of their best players.

Film work is crucial for getting better.

 

[trailsmom]

Wow thank you. His coach just moved him from C to left wing. This makes sense now.

There is one fantastic girl on our team who is in D and she is very sharp strategy wise. She knows how to time cutting players off and manages to get them to the boards.

Because I’m not hockey knowledgeable myself I just assumed his size and physical nature was more D. I see now that’s not the case.

I will encourage him to watch his games. Maybe have him pick out some positives and things to work on. Start asking questions to his coach would help as well.

We are in Tier 3 so that’s the middle of the pack in our city. That’s a perfect tier for him challenging yet he can get that puck if he makes the effort.

I agree that video is a must. All athletes in all sports seem to be doing more and more.

 

[JMCx4]

Thank you for your opinion. He was checked does not have a diagnosed learning disability. The reason I say that is because it runs in our family. As a mom I’m searching for ways to try and help him. He is clearly struggling with hockey understanding and it’s hard not compare with the kids that seem to catch on really quick. You are right and the way I worded that was unfair. I will change that going forward. Thank you.

He's got a good Mom, that gets him at LEAST halfway there.

 

[Frank Drebin]

U11 is 9 and 10 year olds
Half of them didn’t fully understand offside till the end of second year

I wouldn’t stress too much about it. The kids that really have a full understanding of the game live and breathe hockey.

I bet your son could take it or leave it. That doesn’t mean that hockey isn’t for him or you should pull him out, it just means temper your expectations

 

[trailsmom]

U11 is 9 and 10 year olds
Half of them didn’t fully understand offside till the end of second year

I wouldn’t stress too much about it. The kids that really have a full understanding of the game live and breathe hockey.

I bet your son could take it or leave it. That doesn’t mean that hockey isn’t for him or you should pull him out, it just means temper your expectations

 

[trailsmom]

Agree. He’s at the stage where he’s pumped for outdoor rinks. And today he woke up asking can we go tonight. That’s just the sweetest thing. I’m going to do my best to park that worried mom and looking at what everyone else is doing. Let him smash into the snowbanks (that’s his favourite thing). Thanks everyone for your responses.

 

[oldunclehue]

U11 is the first year of full ice hockey (assuming you are in Canada?).

It takes time, especially in the lower tiers to start to understand the game as well as figure out which position kids are. At the higher tiers kids are a little more exposed to positioning on spring/summer teams ahead of the season.

Position is first and foremost a "north/south" thing first. Split the rink in three sections, left side, middle and right side. Focus on your kid knowing his side and thats where he needs to be "most" of the time. As he learns the flow/movement of the game there are obviously times things cross over, but at u11, if he can stick to his lane most of the time, especially in his zone....thats half the battle.

Wing is by far the easiest.

I coach and have several ADHD kids on my team and his reaction to the coach "confused etc" is often how I notice those kids are for me. It requires a few more steps of teaching and to remove them from the group so they don't feel focused on in the group. Might be an idea.

 

[Yukon Joe]

So yeah - please don't sweat this too much.

U11 (In Canada) is the first time kids play full proper positions. A lot of kids will struggle for months just with basic offsides. Positional play can be a lot more complicated than in baseball or football just because of the continuous action (I understand soccer to be just as difficult).

I can tell you that coaching a U13 team I'm still trying to convince some kids on how to play their position. Similarly playing with adults new to the sport I can gently try to explain why my D partner shouldn't be standing right beside me.

It's a little tough as parent because you don't want to be contradicting what the coach is telling them.

Do you guys ever go to a live hockey game? Doesn't have to be NHL - junior, university or minor pro works almost even better. If you do - ask you kid to pick out a player that plays his position - and instead of watching the puck, watch that player. See where they go on the ice, both with and without the puck. It can start to teach the kid a few things about positioning and all not coming from a parent (who kids sometimes tune out anyways).

 

[trailsmom]

We do occasionally go to games. I will certainly ramp that up (lots of teams here to watch). He loves the fun of going to live games but not yet studying the play. We have a decent long break over Christmas so that’s a good thing we can do.

I showed him a video today from one of the above posters. Thank you. It was about wing in the defensive zone. I paused it to clarify that his goalie is behind him. He kept saying after “stick on stick body on body”. So I guess that’s something he latched onto. He thought the video was too long, it was 5 minutes.

It’s going to take time for him to learn this and even then I’m not sure if that’s why he’s looking lost. He’s a second year U-11 so he will be going up in age next year. (If he decides to keep going) He was goalie part time last year and made the switch to player this year.

ODRs are starting to get open here and he is very excited about that. That makes me happy to see.

He has a practice tomorrow and a game on Saturday.

 

[trailsmom]

So yeah - please don't sweat this too much.

U11 (In Canada) is the first time kids play full proper positions. A lot of kids will struggle for months just with basic offsides. Positional play can be a lot more complicated than in baseball or football just because of the continuous action (I understand soccer to be just as difficult).

I can tell you that coaching a U13 team I'm still trying to convince some kids on how to play their position. Similarly playing with adults new to the sport I can gently try to explain why my D partner shouldn't be standing right beside me.

It's a little tough as parent because you don't want to be contradicting what the coach is telling them.

Do you guys ever go to a live hockey game? Doesn't have to be NHL - junior, university or minor pro works almost even better. If you do - ask you kid to pick out a player that plays his position - and instead of watching the puck, watch that player. See where they go on the ice, both with and without the puck. It can start to teach the kid a few things about positioning and all not coming from a parent (who kids sometimes tune out anyways).

My post above was actually a reply to you. I forgot to hit reply and just posted below. Thanks again. It’s so true when I say something or suggest it’s almost worse than just letting it unfold ..

 

[trailsmom]

U11 is the first year of full ice hockey (assuming you are in Canada?).

It takes time, especially in the lower tiers to start to understand the game as well as figure out which position kids are. At the higher tiers kids are a little more exposed to positioning on spring/summer teams ahead of the season.

Position is first and foremost a "north/south" thing first. Split the rink in three sections, left side, middle and right side. Focus on your kid knowing his side and thats where he needs to be "most" of the time. As he learns the flow/movement of the game there are obviously times things cross over, but at u11, if he can stick to his lane most of the time, especially in his zone....thats half the battle.

Wing is by far the easiest.

I coach and have several ADHD kids on my team and his reaction to the coach "confused etc" is often how I notice those kids are for me. It requires a few more steps of teaching and to remove them from the group so they don't feel focused on in the group. Might be an idea.

Thank you. Really good to know there’s coaches out there who recognize some kids need an extra step in teaching.

I’m going to talk to my son about “North/south” concept. Something like that might take the confusion down a notch knowing he’s in the right “lane”.

 

[Yukon Joe]

My post above was actually a reply to you. I forgot to hit reply and just posted below. Thanks again. It’s so true when I say something or suggest it’s almost worse than just letting it unfold ..

Yeah it's frustrating when the fact that something comes from mom or dad, who you'd think your kids should listen to more than anyone else, can just get ignored. Even when I'm one of the coaches, a couple of times I've gone to a different coach to say 'hey can you tell my kid X' because it'll have more impact.

But also - really don't sweat it too much. On the one hand the best way to get better team results is by better team and positional play. But on the other hand - they're U11. The best way to get better as a player is to work on basic skills - skating, puck handling, shooting. Even though it was terrible on one hand, I also kind of miss the first year back from the pandemic 2020-2021. We were allowed to form teams and practice, but no games. So it was endless practices - which meant tons of edge work, tons of skating, and just general improvement. Probably better long-term than "this is where you stand as a defenceman in this position" kind of training.

 

[Pablo Messier]

Start with take away space when the other team has the puck. And go to space when your team has the puck. And go to where you think the puck is going to next. Applies to checking, defending, skating with the puck, getting open for passes. Set a goal to be the fastest player on the ice. Coaches need to need to shut it and let players make their own decisions on the ice but that's out of your control.

 

[trailsmom]

Yeah it's frustrating when the fact that something comes from mom or dad, who you'd think your kids should listen to more than anyone else, can just get ignored. Even when I'm one of the coaches, a couple of times I've gone to a different coach to say 'hey can you tell my kid X' because it'll have more impact.

But also - really don't sweat it too much. On the one hand the best way to get better team results is by better team and positional play. But on the other hand - they're U11. The best way to get better as a player is to work on basic skills - skating, puck handling, shooting. Even though it was terrible on one hand, I also kind of miss the first year back from the pandemic 2020-2021. We were allowed to form teams and practice, but no games. So it was endless practices - which meant tons of edge work, tons of skating, and just general improvement. Probably better long-term than "this is where you stand as a defenceman in this position" kind of training.

Thanks for this. He’s basically training himself while he’s playing on the Outdoors. The “wild horse” stage of development is the best and his might extend a little longer than some. I do hope on his path he connects with a mentor or coach that can teach him the positions and team hockey when he’s ready to learn.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Thanks for this. He’s basically training himself while he’s playing on the Outdoors. The “wild horse” stage of development is the best and his might extend a little longer than some. I do hope on his path he connects with a mentor or coach that can teach him the positions and team hockey when he’s ready to learn.

So here's my further thoughts:

He needs to learn from his coach, not you.

Now I freely admit - there's a wide variety of quality of coaches, in particular at Tier 3. He might have some wonderful coaches who know a lot about hockey. He might have some pretty terrible coaches also. I can't discount the latter.

But really as parent your role (which is super important!) is to make sure he enjoys coming to the rink and enjoys playing hockey. If his coaches aren't teaching him much about positioning - then roll with it. If his coaches are teaching him a lot about positioning - re-enforce what they're teaching.

What you want to really avoid is telling him to ignore what his coaches are trying to teach him.

Just over the weekend I heard from one parent (of a U15AAA kid) who said that the kid was having issues with the coach, so the parent was saying "just play your game". Nooo!

Let him play on the ODR as much as he wants. Make sure the ride to the rink, and ride home, are lots of fun, and hockey is a source of enjoyment. Like I suggested - maybe ask him to watch players to get some idea about positioning.

But avoid coaching on the way to and from games.

If he has a bad coach this year, he'll have a better one next year.