Seriously bee, you could be the Frank Caliendo of HNIC. Love it.
I USED TO PLAY WITH A GUY NAMED FRANK CALIENDO BACK IN ROCHESTER, AND HE HAD THE SMALLEST NOSE I'VE EVER SEEN ON AN EYE-TALIAN. NOW WHEN YA THINK ABOUT AN EYE-TALIAN, YOU THINK OF BIG NOSES LIKE PHIL ESPOSITO AND MIKE RICCI. I LOVED ESPO; WHEN I HAD TO TELL HIM HE'D BEEN TRADED, I WAS IN FRONT OF AN OPEN WINDOW NEXT TO BOBBY ORR. AND ESPO COMES IN, AND I SAID "PHIL, WE'VE TRADED YOU." AND HE SAID "IF IT'S TO THE RANGERS, I'M JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW." SO I LOOKED AT NUMBA FO-AH, BOBBY OA-AH, AND I SAYS "BOBBY, CLOSE THE WINDOW."
BUT ESPO HAD THAT BIG NOSE, AND SO'D RICCI. RICCI WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING HE HAD AND THEN SOME, AND IF YOU TOLD HIM THAT WINNING A FACEOFF WOULD COST HIM A KIDNEY, HE'D DO IT. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE FROM PETERBOROUGH. YOU KNOW, GORDIE HOWE ONCE BROKE HIS NOSE AND DIDN'T MISS A SHIFT. SOMEONE ASKED HIM WHY HE PLAYED WITH A BROKEN NOSE, AND HE SAID "I DON'T SKATE WITH MY NOSE." THAT'S ANOTHER HEART-AND-SOUL GUY.
ANYWAY, WHERE WAS I. OH YEAH, CALAMARINO. HE HAD THIS TINY LITTLE NOSE, MOSTLY BECAUSE HE DIDN'T GO INTO CORNERS. YOU CAN'T TRUST AN EYE-TALIAN WITH A SMALL NOSE. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAS A SMALL NOSE? LALONGO. ASK VANCOUVER IF THEY TRUST HIM.
[/cherry]
. At least I hope you did.
