I was in a small little Quebec town called Ste-Agathe-des-Monts. I'm there very often for work.
I was supposed to drive home to Montreal around 5 PM.
But those two little elderly haitian grandmothers I was with guilt-tripped me into driving them back to Montreal at 7:00 AM. It's hard to say no to women in their 90s when they make those eyes.
Now, the thing about this is...
Ste-Agathe is way up in the goonies to the north. There is an intense, intense amount of traffic from the north toward Montreal in the morning rush hour.
And in the afternoon, the intense traffic is from Montreal to the north.
So if at 7:00 AM you drive from Montreal to Ste-Agathe, it's a sweet ride on empty roads. But if you drive from Ste-Agathe to Montreal, it's an interminable traffic jam starting about halfway through.
Basically, we spent about 2 and a half hours in the car. It was awful. Never mind that I had planned to sleep until late.
And so here I was, in the intense heat, fighting the fatigue, driving drowsily in traffic for hours with those two haitian ladies who wouldn't stop talking the entire way.
I was asked why I still don't have kids at my age.
I was asked if it's my wife or me that don't want kids.
I was asked if maybe there was a medical problem that explained why we didn't have kids.
I was told that if I do have kids I don't have to worry about daycare they will take care of the kids for me.
I was told all about their back pains and their shingles.
I was told all about their doctors appointments.
I was told all about their no-good grandchildren who skip school and make their parents miserable.
I was told all about how haitian weather is so much better than Montreal weather because over there it's not humid.
Why did I get married so quickly I'm such a handsome man if they were 60 years younger they'd jump on me (kind of a contradiction with the comment about why I don't have kids at my age)
Oh yeah, and don't forget, they spent at least an hour trying to teach me creole. I think I was able to repeat one word correctly.
Oh yeah and I can't forget that they thought they could teach me how to drive.
- Go faster
- Go slower
- Watch out there's a car
- Why don't you pass him?
- What's that car doing?
- Don't forget, it's the next exit! You have to change lanes!
Never mind neither of those ladies ever had a driver license in their lives.
My god they were so excited. How come ladies in their 90s have more energy than I do?
I think I have a psychological problem. I'm unable to say no to people. It's not the first time I have to drive for hours with those two talking boxes.
They say the life of a man comes in three stages:
- When you're a kid, you get scolded by your mother
- When you're an adult, you get scolded by your wife
- When you're old, you get scolded by your daughter
Can't get away from it.
My wife 100% agrees with my assessment.
If I was able to be firm with those crones and explain to them that it will be better for both them and for me if we were to leave at 5 PM and just spend 1 hour in the car instead of like 3 hours.
But no, we had to leave early, because of this and that and something about having to go to the bank and something else about having to go to the hairdresser and I forget what the other thing was.
And so here I was, having the time of my life.
How can I learn to say no without being afraid of making people sad? There's got to be a how-to guide or something out there.
