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OT: Humour Thread

Jetland162702

Jetland162702

Pup-peroni Junkie
Sep 23, 2011
839
3,427
Winnipeg
These things are dangerous. The vomit spray coming off these is real.:laugh:

1667662909557.png
 
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Inanna

Inanna

Cat Lady
Aug 29, 2022
1,571
6,774
North of Toronto
In honour of the mass antics south of the border today, I offer this groaner:

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.

Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.



The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.



Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.
 
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Inanna

Inanna

Cat Lady
Aug 29, 2022
1,571
6,774
North of Toronto
Jetland162702 said:
As a young boy I had a pair of thongs.:sarcasm:
Click to expand...
You can now buy a thong for men in a larger range of stores than when you were a young boy. Some of them are bizarre novelties but most of them are designed for comfort, which is the whole purpose of a thong in the first place.

I've surprised a few guys with the gift of a thong and the gesture never goes unrewarded.
 
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Jetland162702

Jetland162702

Pup-peroni Junkie
Sep 23, 2011
839
3,427
Winnipeg
Inanna said:
You can now buy a thong for men in a larger range of stores than when you were a young boy. Some of them are bizarre novelties but most of them are designed for comfort, which is the whole purpose of a thong in the first place.

I've surprised a few guys with the gift of a thong and the gesture never goes unrewarded.
Click to expand...
Mine were designed for comfort. I wore them on my feet when the sand was coarse. :laugh::laugh:
 
kanadalainen

kanadalainen

A pint of dark matter, please.
Jan 7, 2017
20,795
61,766
The 100th Meridian
Nowhere to post this, and while Vonnegut's stuff can be very funny, its only along the lines of very dark comedy.

Anyway, here you are.. (click the link if you are so inclined).

k

++++++++++++++++


"Science is magic that works"

Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle


Science | AAAS

www.science.org www.science.org
 

Snowboy

Registered User
Oct 12, 2013
202
306
Inanna said:
In honour of the mass antics south of the border today, I offer this groaner:

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.

Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.



The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.



Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.
Click to expand...
Are you saying Donald Trump runs around with a bell between his teath 😀
 
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