Movies: Horror Movie Discussion

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Christine. Caught a screening of this. First time I have seen it on a big screen and boy does this play well in a theater — the booming, muscular engine noises; Carpenter's low angled shots of the car almost looming above you; every bright blast of headlights. The car regeneration effects are so, so good. It's a physical, tangible thing that surely wouldn't be nearly as effective with all the digital tools at hand now.

When you pause and step back, this is an incredibly silly story. And while you'll still probably have some head scratching moments (stop running down the middle of the street you morons!), Carpenter's mastery of tone and suspense never lets that silliness overtake the thrills. He pulls you in. Maybe I'm a sicko, but I'm amazed at how he gets you to almost care for Christine. I mean, sure she's a bit crazy. But she's in love. And she's very, very loyal. Sure she turns Arnie into a jerk and she tries to kill his friends, but everything else she does ... they kinda have it coming. It's an almost classic monster movie trick.

As far as Stephen King adaptations go, this isn't as good a bully revenge movie as Carrie, but is a better killer vehicle movie than Maximum Overdrive (more on both of those in the next 24-36 hours as they're part of my annual horror movie marathon ...)

I'm totally in the bag for Carpenter but his resume is so deep that this might not even make my top 10 movies for him and I still kinda love it.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

Christine. Caught a screening of this. First time I have seen it on a big screen and boy does this play well in a theater — the booming, muscular engine noises; Carpenter's low angled shots of the car almost looming above you; every bright blast of headlights. The car regeneration effects are so, so good. It's a physical, tangible thing that surely wouldn't be nearly as effective with all the digital tools at hand now.

When you pause and step back, this is an incredibly silly story. And while you'll still probably have some head scratching moments (stop running down the middle of the street you morons!), Carpenter's mastery of tone and suspense never lets that silliness overtake the thrills. He pulls you in. Maybe I'm a sicko, but I'm amazed at how he gets you to almost care for Christine. I mean, sure she's a bit crazy. But she's in love. And she's very, very loyal. Sure she turns Arnie into a jerk and she tries to kill his friends, but everything else she does ... they kinda have it coming. It's an almost classic monster movie trick.

As far as Stephen King adaptations go, this isn't as good a bully revenge movie as Carrie, but is a better killer vehicle movie than Maximum Overdrive (more on both of those in the next 24-36 hours as they're part of my annual horror movie marathon ...)

I'm totally in the bag for Carpenter but his resume is so deep that this might not even make my top 10 movies for him and I still kinda love it.

I like Christine a lot. Certainly top 10 from Carpenter for me, might even be top-5, otherwise 6th pretty sure.

 

[BigBadBruins7708]

Christine. Caught a screening of this. First time I have seen it on a big screen and boy does this play well in a theater — the booming, muscular engine noises; Carpenter's low angled shots of the car almost looming above you; every bright blast of headlights. The car regeneration effects are so, so good. It's a physical, tangible thing that surely wouldn't be nearly as effective with all the digital tools at hand now.

When you pause and step back, this is an incredibly silly story. And while you'll still probably have some head scratching moments (stop running down the middle of the street you morons!), Carpenter's mastery of tone and suspense never lets that silliness overtake the thrills. He pulls you in. Maybe I'm a sicko, but I'm amazed at how he gets you to almost care for Christine. I mean, sure she's a bit crazy. But she's in love. And she's very, very loyal. Sure she turns Arnie into a jerk and she tries to kill his friends, but everything else she does ... they kinda have it coming. It's an almost classic monster movie trick.

As far as Stephen King adaptations go, this isn't as good a bully revenge movie as Carrie, but is a better killer vehicle movie than Maximum Overdrive (more on both of those in the next 24-36 hours as they're part of my annual horror movie marathon ...)

I'm totally in the bag for Carpenter but his resume is so deep that this might not even make my top 10 movies for him and I still kinda love it.

Oh Maximum Overdrive...such a great B movie.

It truly has all the elements of a fun B movie. Bad/over acting, bad script, ridiculous premise, awesome soundtrack, memorable visuals.

Sorry, I just cant not get excited to watch trucks and soda machines hunt people down while AC/DC blasts in the background.

 

[shadow1]

Dracula (1931) - 8/10

A vampire relocates from Transylvania to England in search of new victims.

Bela Lugosi stars as Count Dracula, an undead Vampire living in a Transylvanian castle. Solicitor Renfield (Dwight Frye) visits Dracula to facilitate the leasing of property in England. Dracula attacks him and travels to England, where he leaves behind a body trail before setting his sights on new neighbor Mina Seward (Helen Chandler). However, Professor Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan), investigating the string of murders across England, is suspicious of the Count...

Dracula was directed by Todd Browning and written by Garrett Ford. The film was based on a play adaptation of the Bram Stoker novel, and thus has several changes from the original story. The movie was the first sound film adaptation featuring the Dracula character, and was filmed simultaneously with a Spanish version film of the same name. How does it fare?

I don't think I can add anything interesting to the discussion about this movie that hasn't already been said. I'm probably the least qualified person on this message board to review this movie, partly because I've seen so few pre-1940 films that I don't have a baseline. With that self-reflection out of the way, I can say I loved the movie. I'm a sucker for atmosphere, and Dracula is dripping with it. Dark creepy sets, lit candles, and fog are what immediately come to mind when I think of this film.

Bela Lugosi is great as the Dracula character. He's most famous for the iconic look (above), but his portrayal is really strong at walking the line between being charming and sinister. I also really liked the performance of Edward Van Sloan as Van Helsing, who comes across as cool and collected in the face of the evil Dracula.

I don't have any major gripes with this movie, but I do have a couple criticisms. As great as the atmosphere and sets are great early on, the latter half of the movie takes place primarily in a generic, well lit house/sanitarium. Additionally, the film has a couple instances of "tell, don't show" which hurt it. Once is when Dracula turns into a wolf, which the other characters are told about rather than the audience seeing. The other is the film's major death scene occurring off-screen, which feels like a underwhelming payoff.

Overall, Dracula is a classic (duh). It's iconic, and in my opinion the best of the Universal Monster movies (of the ones I've seen, at least). Dracula was a big hit, earning $4.2M ($182.6M adj) against a $355K budget.

Stranger in Our House, aka Summer of Fear (1978) - 4/10

A teenager believes her cousin is practicing witchcraft.

Linda Blair stars a Rachel, a happy-go-lucky teenager who loves horseback riding. After her aunt and uncle die, Rachel's cousin Julia (Lee Purcell) comes to live with her and her family. Rachel is initially excited by the idea, but things quickly turn sour. After a series of dark incidents, including her horse breaking its leg and Rachel herself breaking out in hives, Rachel looks through Julia's belongings and finds strange things like a burned hair and a tooth. Believing Julia to be practicing Black Magic, Rachel works to expose her cousin to the rest of the family...

Stranger in Our House was directed by Wes Craven, and written by Glenn M. Benest and Max A. Keller. Based on Lois Duncan's 1974 novel "Summer of Fear", this film was a made for TV adaptation which premiered on Halloween Night 1978 on NBC in the United States. How does this merger of horror heavyweights Blair and Craven fare?

No better way to follow up Dracula (1931) than with another "classic". Stranger in Our House is painfully generic, with no ambiguity whatsoever. The audience knows right from the start that Julia is a witch, and the rest of the movie is just a sequence of events of Rachel trying to convince her frustratingly oblivious family about the situation. The movie doesn't have much going for it in the horror department until towards the end; it mostly comes off as a family drama, and even has a pretty well done car chase in it.

The performances are really mixed in this one, but part of that might've been due to the characterizations. Antagonist Julia's motivations make little sense, and there is a twist at the end which makes her actions even more nonsensical. Linda Blair's Rachel is whiny, and Julia is ahead of her every step of the way. Any success Rachel has along the way is due to pure luck rather than quick wits.

Overall, Stranger in Our House is bland. I've seen plenty of worse films, but it's a bit disappointing considering the names attached to this one. A month after this movie aired (November 29th), NBC debuted a much better TV movie called Someone's Watching Me! It was directed by John Carpenter, shot right before Halloween (1978) but released after it following that movie's success. If you're randomly in the mood for a 1970's Made-for-TV horror movie (a mood I'm sure everyone finds themselves in often), check that one out instead.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Oh Maximum Overdrive...such a great B movie.

It truly has all the elements of a fun B movie. Bad/over acting, bad script, ridiculous premise, awesome soundtrack, memorable visuals.

Sorry, I just cant not get excited to watch trucks and soda machines hunt people down while AC/DC blasts in the background.

Big, fun cocaine energy.

And one of my all time favorite trailers. Supreme awkward goofiness.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

I like Christine a lot. Certainly top 10 from Carpenter for me, might even be top-5, otherwise 6th pretty sure.

Went back to check my math. I'd have 7 movies definitely better than Christine for me. So it'd be in the 11-8 range for me depending my mood alongside Starman, The Fog and Assault on Precinct 13.

 

[shadow1]

Carpenter seems to have mixed feelings on Christine. He's said a lot of times over the years that he didn't have a good feel for the material. His opinion might be colored by the circumstances surrounding the movie; he had just been fired from Firestarter after The Thing bombed (the irony) and struggled to find work.

Personally, I'm lukewarm on the movie. It's good, but it's never my go-to when I'm in the mood for a John Carpenter movie... which is often. I could listen to this kick ass tune all day long though!

 

[Osprey]

Blood Feast (1963) - 4/10

An Egyptian caterer prepares and serves meat from only the most humane sources. This tasteless low budget horror from Herschell Gordon Lewis, the "grandfather of gore," is considered the first splatter film and is rather graphic for 1963, with lots of blood and body parts, though it's all of a pinkish hue that makes it look more like paint than real blood and the whole affair more campy than disturbing. It's interesting how Hitchcock's Psycho, from 3 years earlier, is more effectively unsettling, despite being far less graphic. There's never any ambiguity who the killer in this is, as we see his face every time that he commits the acts. In fact, it's sort of funny how he manages to sneak up on people with a huge limp and a machete and then get away without being identified. There's also one of the strangest kills that I've ever seen: he sticks his bare hand into a girl's mouth and, over the course of what felt like a minute, all while she's struggling (but, for some reason, not biting down), manages to pull out her tongue. As brutal as the kills are, though, they can't compare to how brutal the dialogue and acting are, even for 1963. Nothing that any character says sounds the least bit natural. It's a really bad movie, but one that horror aficionados might appreciate for its historical significance. It's on Tubi.

The Gore Gore Girls (1972) - 5/10

A gentleman detective and a reporter investigate the brutal murders of strippers. Herschell Gordon Lewis' final film before stepping away from filmmaking for 30 years is considered his most extreme. The gore is more realistic than in Blood Feast, partly due to getting the color right this time, and shots are more gratuitous. There's a bit more of a story in the form of a mystery over who the killer is and some welcome added humor. The detective casually cracks jokes about the victims, such as when he notes that a girl whose face was peeled off got herself a "face lift." He occasionally even breaks the fourth wall to deliver these lines. There's a scene in which the killer pulverizes a victim's butt with a meat tenderizer and then sprinkles salt and seasoning on it, and another in which a woman is screaming, another starts shaking her to try to calm her down and another comes in and says "let me help" before joining in shaking her that may've been where Abrahams and the Zuckers got one of their gags for Airplane! I wasn't expecting comedy like this in a splatter film, but it balanced the brutality and made the film more enjoyable. It's still a very poorly made movie that resembles 70s adult films and drags as Lewis stretches out the run time with long, gratuitous sequences of strippers dancing (though, to be fair, if you're going to pad out the run time, that isn't the worst way to do it), but the addition of humor and a bit more story made it more enjoyable than Blood Feast. It's also on Tubi.

Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002) - 6/10

The grandson of the Egyptian caterer opens up a shop of his own and brings back the family recipes. Nearly 40 years after the original and 30 years after he stopped making films, gore pioneer Herschell Gordon Lewis returned with this sequel. It's still low budget and ridiculous, but adds a ton more humor, to the point that it's much more comedy than horror. There's visual humor such as the caterer wearing oven mitts while killing and using a melon ball scooper to remove eyeballs from their sockets. There's also dialogue like "Well, without a real autopsy, I'd say the cause of death was this corkscrew stuck in her ear" and a young woman watching another have her eyes repeatedly stabbed by huge needles and screaming "What are you doing? You're ruining her contacts!" I liked that a character points out that Ishtar, the ancient goddess that the caterers in both movies worship, is actually Babylonian, not Egyptian, proving that Lewis can laugh at himself and acknowledge an error that he's probably had pointed out to him dozens of times over the decades. The story and acting are slight improvements over his earlier films, but still not objectively good. The gore is improved, but still a bit old fashioned. In fact, everything is old fashioned. It looked and felt more like a horror comedy from the late 80s or early 90s than one from 2002, but that was fine by me. I enjoyed how tongue in cheek it is (and, like the original, tongue out of cheek in one scene). It's still objectively a bad movie, but I laughed a lot and found it bloody entertaining.

Skinned Alive (1990) - 2/10

A dysfunctional family drives around in a van and kills people for fun and leather jacket material. This isn't a Herschell Gordon Lewis film, but it's along the same lines. It makes Lewis' films seem relatively professional, though. It looks like it was made by amateurs, and that's not an exaggeration. I doubt that anyone involved had any experience or training in filmmaking or acting prior to this. They had to have been "hired" (which probably isn't the right word, since I can't imagine that any of them were actually paid) solely on the basis of knowing and perhaps owing a favor to the director. The only possible shred of talent might be found in a few of the gore effects, but then you also have shots like one in which a character's guts spill onto the floor and they're clearly just cooked spaghetti. The only reason that I'm not giving this a 1/10 is that at least it doesn't take itself seriously at all, but all of the attempts at comedy still fell completely flat. Maybe it would be somewhat entertaining if heavily under the influence, but I have no desire to test that hypothesis. This film (and I really should put that word in quotes, too) is so awful that I started to envy the characters who were being murdered and skinned because they didn't have to make it through the whole thing like I did.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Pre-covid I attended an annual 24-hour horror movie marathon at theater in my city. It has yet to be resurrected so in its place I’ve just done my own at home. I typically used those marathons as my programing guide — something old, something new, something classy, something cheesy, something foreign, something gory, etc., classics, cult, just as diverse a lineup as I could put together. Balance.

Changed things up this year. A few of the movies I was really determined to include had some thematic or style overlap so while I still tried for some balance, I prioritized grouping the program into six double features. In retrospect, I kinda miss having some true pre-60s classics and I didn’t program anything truly nasty/repugnant this year. Also only had four movies I hadn’t seen before so I prioritized a lot of rewatches I had been craving for a while. Will probably go back to my old methods next year. But this was a fun enough change.

Ghosts in These Machines
Maximum Overdrive. As stated earlier, a ridiculous, messy, obviously cocaine-fueled flick that’s a lesser version of about five different other Stephen King stories, but quite possibly a hell of a lot more fun.
Deadly Friend. Saw this as a kid and it held a really outsized hold on my young brain. Found it genuinely scary in a couple of moments. Revisiting it for the first time in 30-35 years, this teenage mad scientist/love/revenge story is pretty laughable start to finish. What the hell was young me thinking?

World War BOO
Below. Nice little ghost story set on a WWII submarine. Stacked cast of recognizable character actor pros though somewhat limited by the unfortunate fact the least compelling actor in the bunch is the main character. Sturdy direction for the always reliable and somewhat underrated David Twohy. Bit of a forgotten gem.
Brooklyn 45. The newest movie I watched. Another WWII-centered ghost story. Five vets gather at one of their houses to hold a séance. SECRETS emerge and some may have hell to pay. Nothing special, but definitely a solid, talky, locked room creeper that kept me on my toes more than I expected. Dialogue grates at times and the acting is inconsistent across the cast.

#I’mWithHer
The Babadook. Been wanting to revisit this for a while. One of those great meldings of fantastical horror with very real stresses and trauma. It’s only 90 minutes long, but it is relentless from the opening minutes. It exhausts you, just as the struggling single mother tries her best to navigate a difficult child who may or may not be haunted by a spectre from a child’s book … book … book. The two leads are stellar, which is saying something for the child actor.
Carrie. An enduring classic. DePalma pulling out all his bravura tricks and an affecting emotion anchor in Spacek as one of the most understandable and sadly sympathetic mass murderers ever put on film. It’s a heartbreaking, wounded performance. Then the shit famously hits the fan.

Hey, You Got Something on Your Head There.
Goke: Body Snatcher From Hell. An apocalyptic vampire tale of sorts, but the real draw is its memorably nasty make-up effects and a rather cool over reliance on orange and red tinting that gives it a distinct look.
From Beyond. Goopy Stuart Gordon classic with Barbara Crampton in perhaps her peak form.

Lycan’t Let You Go
Dog Soldiers. This has long been on a watch list for me. Finally got to it. Lively action-horror mashup fun. Like Joe Dante and Michael Bay had a baby.
Monster Dog. The dog of the event, pun very much intended. Alice Cooper stretches himself to play a rock star returning to his ancestral home to shoot a music video. But it’s all so dull and poorly acted you root for the pack of wild dogs to just get it over with. From the director of the infamous Troll 2 (a fact I genuinely did not know until I was already 30 minutes into the movie.)

The Rent’s Too High!
The Legend of Hell House. A classic haunted house slow burn. The resolution is a little silly, but it’s a well made spooker with a couple of good performances from Roddy McDowell and Pamela Franklin.
Hausu. Just a true happy place for me. One of the zaniest, most entertaining movies ever committed to film.

 

[OzzyFan]

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
3.20 out of 4stars

“A small-town doctor learns that the population of his community is being replaced by emotionless alien duplicates.”
A great sci-fi horror that is a top notch paranoia nightmare thriller. Based on the Jack Finney novel and seen as a political Cold-War/McCarthyism allegory. Formidably creepy, claustrophobic, and frightening as it creates a suffocating mood. Evolutionarily the fear works very well, from your friends/family no longer acting like themselves (with a variety of meanings), to the dangers surrounding you, to existential finality/world domination. A psychological and physical threat of dual destruction for humanity is exercised within this alien takeover film, the taking of life and individuality/personality/choice away. All the alien pods, ‘seeds’, and ‘body double’ scenes are just the right accoutrement to top it all off and hammer it through. And both the material and performances really drive through the dread. Carmen Dragon’s score is excellent and I’m surprised that it doesn’t/didn’t get more recognition. It’s hard to say if this or the 1978 remake is clearly better than the other, as both are strong and contain some differently iconic horror elements and scenes.

At Midnight I’ll Take You’re Soul (1964) (subtitles)
3.00 out of 4stars

“In a small Brazilian town, a gravedigger, who disdains religion and emotion, prowls the city in search of a female to bear him a son because he has a barren wife.”
A great supernatural horror that is surprisingly wise and merrily mad. Brazil’s first horror film, containing an iconic character in Coffin Joe that practices Nietzscheism beliefs without fear of recourse. This leads him to commit some selfishly aggressive dark, amoral, and violent acts, usually with a laugh or smile afterward, all amidst a gloomy black and white backdrop with occasional macabre elements. The existential themes themself are two-fold, scarily arguing against the ridiculousness and enslaving power of religion (and psychics) while just as terrifyingly showing the effects of a cunningly lawless egocentric life (with regard to the animalistic goal of reproduction/extending one’s bloodline on the forefront here). The fun ending, without spoiling anything, also manages to stay relevant to the film's themes in an open ended manner (imo, there are clearly 2 possible explanations). Some nice symbolism and good dialogue too. Highly controversial and shocking for its time, especially in its own country, while being both a historically and culturally relevant film.

The White Reindeer (1952) (subtitles)
2.85 out of 4stars

“A newlywed woman, who unknowingly is the offspring of a witch, goes to the local shaman to get some help with her love life, but instead she gets turned into a vampiric white reindeer with succubus-like powers.”
A great folk horror based on Finnish Lapland and Sami Shamanism mythology. A Golden Globe award winning film that was shot in the symbolically beautiful and glowing, but isolated and empty snow-capped mountains of Finland in black and white. Led by a strong expressive performance from Kuosmanen and low on dialogue, a kind of feminist tale of constraint is told. At minimum, it’s about a lonely, strong and vivacious ‘housewife’ that is sexually and attentionally neglected in her life, arguably professionally disappointed as well. Of note, there is one crucial scene within the film that is either harmless flirtation or hints of adultery, of which I lean towards the latter given how the story plays out. Without spoiling anything, our protagonist’s metaphorical and literal curse creates a fallout. Atmospheric with some well done sequences. A tone setting score is utilized throughout and the film is well directed by Blomberg, a cinematographer by nature. One can definitely enjoy the movie without foreknowledge of the Finnish Lapland mythology/background going on, but it is definitely better appreciated and understood with that information.

The Mad Magician (1954)
2.80 out of 4stars

“An illusionist becomes homicidal when his best kept magic buzz-saw act secret is stolen by his old boss, who also has stolen his wife.”
A great horror drama that is a well-paced, solid scripted, quite fun, and campy/cheesy lesser known vehicle from Vincent Price. Price is not at the height of his powers here, but he certainly brings life to the character, both sympathy and fire, and delivers extra when called upon by the script. There is a lot to enjoy, including the parallels to murder concealment and magicians tactics, the buzz saw and crematorium tricks, the antics, and a surprising amount of suspense and twists for its runtime and circumstances. The film creates and uses all of its side characters very well, with solid performances from all. Supposedly some people say it’s too similar to House of Wax, but I disagree saying that it is more than different enough to be unique and hold its own. Originally released in 3D.

The Amusement Park (1975)
2.70 out of 4stars

“An elderly gentleman goes for what he assumes will be an ordinary day at the amusement park, only to find himself in the middle of a hellish nightmare.”
A great psychological horror that is an educational film about elder abuse from George Romero, commissioned by the Lutheran Service Society of Western Pennsylvania. Osprey had a good review for this film earlier in the year, and I agree the film is impactful but has a thin plot. While a few of the skits are too obvious or exaggerated, the vast majority cover a lot of ground in the film’s short runtime. Direct beginning and ending monologues aside, the film clearly expresses varied societal, and even a bit governmental, mistreatment of the elderly. We see the elderly being disrespected, abused, scammed, stereotyped, or completely ignored as if they didn’t exist, ultimately becoming outcasts of society. And this is two-fold as one witnesses what the elderly actually are, old adults that are slowing down and declining, who have trouble existing, and have a need for purpose and/or use. I think Romero was very effective in what he wanted to do, move his audience by garnering sympathy from the depressing horrors that senior citizens live through. Was that the goal of the Lutheran Society? I can’t say, but it’s certainly one way to get people to change the way they react towards them/maybe volunteer in elderly aid programs. Either way, it’s haunting on some of the fears and realities of aging.

White Zombie (1932)
2.65 out of 4stars

“In Haiti, a young man turns to a witch doctor to lure the woman he loves away from her fiancé, but instead he turns her into a zombie slave.”
A good pre-code supernatural horror with an eerie mood and a good hammy Lugosi. Considered to be the first feature length zombie film, all the slave zombies are well done with their mostly expressionless faces, stiff movements, and makeup touches. Manages to conjure up some distinctive scenes and settings throughout. Some interestingly odd sexual undertones within too. The film is far from perfect though and its weaknesses include the melodrama, non-Lugosi/non-zombie acting, predictable story, and pacing. Still worth a watch for real horror fans/completists.

Pontypool (2008)
2.65 out of 4stars

“A radio host interprets the possible outbreak of a deadly virus which infects the small Ontario town he is stationed in as a language/spoken driven contagion.”
A good zombie horror that is a bold concept with mixed results. Let me start by saying how different of a zombie film this is: purposefully human looking zombies, minimal blood, no actual zombie action whatsoever, and the zombies are almost entirely shown with no real hostility. A decision I feel that hurts notably, especially on creating a sense and atmosphere of fear, while also not showcasing its concept in full visual presentation. The concept itself metaphorically works on many levels, is interesting, has real importance, and has real scare potential when enacted, but the film doesn’t utilize it close to properly. I don’t know if I’ve drowned myself in too many horror films lately, but this movie feels like a horror film without the horror (elements), save maybe a couple sequences (and its ideologies at heart). Two scenes attempting some horror don’t even make sense within the film’s world itself created with the theories and zombie stages it has set-up. The script itself isn’t stupid at all, and it's occasionally funny, but it’s too in love with its concept and message and explaining it as thoroughly as possible (and its limited setting hurts it even more imo). A missed opportunity I’d say.

Dead & Buried (1981)
2.60 out of 4stars

“In a small coastal town, a town sheriff investigates a series of gory murders committed by mobs of townspeople against visiting tourists that appear like accidents. But soon after, the corpses begin to come back to life.”
A good mystery horror with good mood, good kill scenes, and some intriguing graphic makeup effects (created by the famous Stan Winston). The story has a twist filled plot, so don’t read anything about the story going in and be careful with reading other reviews if you plan to watch it. All of the purely horror elements are really well done. Suspenseful, eerie, good setting choices, a bit dream-like, and knows exactly how to tease the audience with its subject matter, even if a little predictable and plot hole filled. Of note, Robert Englund has a small cameo in his pre-Freddy Krueger days.

 

[Osprey]

The Amusement Park (1975)
2.70 out of 4stars

“An elderly gentleman goes for what he assumes will be an ordinary day at the amusement park, only to find himself in the middle of a hellish nightmare.”
A great psychological horror that is an educational film about elder abuse from George Romero, commissioned by the Lutheran Service Society of Western Pennsylvania. Osprey had a good review for this film earlier in the year, and I agree the film is impactful but has a thin plot. While a few of the skits are too obvious or exaggerated, the vast majority cover a lot of ground in the film’s short runtime. Direct beginning and ending monologues aside, the film clearly expresses varied societal, and even a bit governmental, mistreatment of the elderly. We see the elderly being disrespected, abused, scammed, stereotyped, or completely ignored as if they didn’t exist, ultimately becoming outcasts of society. And this is two-fold as one witnesses what the elderly actually are, old adults that are slowing down and declining, who have trouble existing, and have a need for purpose and/or use. I think Romero was very effective in what he wanted to do, move his audience by garnering sympathy from the depressing horrors that senior citizens live through. Was that the goal of the Lutheran Society? I can’t say, but it’s certainly one way to get people to change the way they react towards them/maybe volunteer in elderly aid programs. Either way, it’s haunting on some of the fears and realities of aging.

Wow. Someone else actually watched this, even after reading my review. This has made my day.

 

[shadow1]

A Quiet Place (2018) - 7/10

A family struggles to survive during an apocalypse caused by blind, noise sensitive monsters.

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski star as Evelyn and Lee Abbott, who along with their children Beau (Cade Woodward), Marcus (Noah Jupe), and Regan (Millicent Simmonds) have survived months into a devastating apocalypse caused by blind predators who hunt using sound. The Abbott family has an advantage others don't: they all known sign language due to Regan being deaf. However, after a tragedy occurs, the family must regroup and work to survive under the constant threat of the monsters...

A Quiet Place was written and directed by star John Krasinski, with Scott Beck and Bryan Woods also writing. Krasinski was initially contacted by Paramount to direct a sequel to the Cloverfield franchise, but after reading the script by Beck and Woods decided along with the studio that a new horror franchise was the better way to break into the genre. Krasinski's real life wife Emily Blunt, upon reading the script, insisted on being cast in the lead role as his wife in the film. How does A Quiet Place fare?

Very well, superb at times but frustrating at others. The opening hour to this movie is marvelous; it's tense, dreadful, and the performances are excellent. All of the cast have to act with just facial expressions and the occasional use of ASL, and they all nail it. Furthermore, I love the cleverness of the way sound is used in the film. You're on the edge of your seat, hoping to hear dead silence because even the slightest cough may mean the characters are doomed.

To give the movie further credit, it takes this concept in a direction I didn't see coming, leading to an unbearably tense middle section of the movie. At about the hour mark, in my head I thought I was watching a stone cold classic, a potential 10/10. The film is that good early on.

Unfortunately, the the last third of the movie was a big letdown. The dramatic build up of the middle section of the movie never seems to end; the movie doesn't stop to breathe before building back up to the climax. I really felt fatigued, as if there was no more tension left for me to feel. Nevertheless, a combination of bad luck, dues ex machina, and the idiot plot try to keep the scares going, which made the climax feel like it was an hour long.

It's frustrating; we watched the characters go through something truly horrifying, and then the movie comes up with cheap ideas to keep the monsters around and the fight continuing. Speaking of the monsters - they don't look good, and you see a lot of them at the end of the movie. All of those elements mixed together left me frustrated after watching what is an objectively good movie.

Overall, A Quiet Place is a strong movie. It's one of the best movies I've watched this Halloween season, pretty easily. But it is also perhaps the most frustrating, because it had potential to be something more than merely above average. A Quiet Place was deservedly a big hit, earning $341M against a $17M budget.

Bodies, Bodies, Bodies (2022) - 6/10

During a party, a murder mystery game turns deadly.

Maria Bakalova stars as Bee, who along with her girlfriend Sophie (Amandla Stenberg) travels to a "hurricane party" at a mansion owned by the family of Sophie's friend David (Pete Davidson). Along with four other guests, the group plans to ride out an impending storm. They decide to play the game "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies", where someone it "killed" and the rest of the group have to figure out the murderer. However, when the power goes out and one of the guests really is killed, the group must figure out who the murderer is...

Bodies, Bodies, Bodies was directed by Halina Rejin, and written by Sarah DeLappe. This A24 production is based on a spec script by Kristen Roupenian, who only received a "story by" credit due to extensive rewrites by DeLappe. How does this modern take on a murder mystery fare?

It's a mixed bag. The first 20 minutes of the movie are an absolute chore to get through, as we get to know the cast of characters. They talk over each other and are obnoxious, with everyone's character trait seeming to range from "douchebag" to "bigger douchebag". Fortunately, once they begin playing the "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" game, things pick up and get interesting. It's basically a modern take on the old dark house, and similar to Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None", with the characters trying to figure out the killer as the body count keeps rising.

Unfortunately, that classic concept still has to contend with this film's characters, whose unpleasantness can only be rivaled by their stupidness. In one big moment, there is a confrontation with a character accused of being the killer. The accusation comes despite the fact that the murder occurred outdoors in a storm, and said character is completely dry and has no blood on them...

To be fair, it's hard for me to complain too much about the characters being dumb, because the film is supposed to be a satire poking fun at Gen Z (despite most of the cast being Gen Y). The problem is it doesn't lay it on thick enough for most of the movie; the idiotic nature of the characters feels frustrating, rather than humorous. Furthermore, the characters are completely unrelatable. Most of the principal cast is only a few years younger than me, and in one case a decade older, so this isn't a case of me wildly out of touch. The characters feel like caricatures, and the whole message of the film seems to be how dumb young people are, right up to the last "ha, gotcha! moment". It might work better for some, but for me this movie had a lame and predictable ending.

Overall, Bodies, Bodies, Bodies is an average movie, but one that I didn't enjoy. However, I must concede it's well made and gets its point across, as much as I didn't enjoy the way in which it did so. Bodies, Bodies, Bodies was a commercial dud, earning only $14M against an $11M budget.

 

[shadow1]

Candyman: Day of the Dead (1999) - 3/10

During a Candyman themed art gallery event, the killer is summoned by a direct descendant of his.

Donna D'Errico stars as Caroline McKeever, daughter of Annie from Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995). The story picks up 25 years later in the year 2020, and Caroline is helping to set up a Candyman themed art gallery in Los Angeles. The point of the gallery is to show the brighter side of the folk legend, who Caroline believes has been misportrayed. However, upon Caroline summoning him, Candyman goes on a murderous rampage...

Candyman: Day of the Dead was directed by Turi Meyer, and written by Al Septien and Meyer. After the mediocre box office returns of the previous film, this entry in the Candyman series went direct-to-video. How does the third movie in the franchise fare?

Pretty crappy. Candyman 3 has a lot of problems, the first of which is how cheap it is. Some of that comes off in the poor acting, which reminds me of the movie Mr. Nice Guy (1997), except here there are no Jackie Chan stunts to distract you. Worse though are the sets, with many scenes taking place in sparsely furnished rooms. There are so many freshly painted white walls in this movie you'll think you're on an open house tour. There's also nothing to indicate this movie takes place in 2020; it's the most 90's looking movie possible.

As for the plot, it's pretty similar to the last two films: Candyman is summoned, someone else takes the fall for his crimes, protagonist X has to clear their name. Obviously, this generic plot is executed poorly, especially when it comes to the film's commentary on race. There's no nuance to it; the filmmakers just cram in some over-the-top racist cops and call it a day. Adding insult to injury, there are some returning characters who get the wrong end of Candyman's hook. You'd think this would carry some emotional weight, but considering they were recast by people who look nothing like them, I didn't even realize which character(s) they were supposed to be. I will give the movie some credit though: the gore was halfway decent.

Overall, Candyman: Day of the Dead is a dubious entry in the franchise. The deadly combination of poor acting, writing, and set design honestly had me struggling to maintain focus while watching this movie. But if you're a fan of movies set in generic white rooms, boy do I have the movie for you! Following this movie, the Candyman series lay dormant for 22 years until the release of Candyman (2021), which ignores the events of this film.

Ring (1998) - 7/10

A reporter investigates a video tape which is said to cause the death of the viewer seven days after watching it.

Nanako Matsushima stars as Reiko, a journalist whose niece has passed away under mysterious circumstances. She begins investigating and hears rumors of a cursed video tape being the cause. Reiko locates the tape and watches the haunting content. Knowing she'll be dead in seven days, Reiko recruits her ex-Husband Ryuji (Hiroyuki Canada), who possesses psychic abilities. The two work to figure out the origin of the video before it's too late...

Ring was directed by Hideo Nakata and written by Hiroshi Takahashi. The film was based on a novel of the same name by Koji Suzuki. A 1995 made-for-TV adaptation was already produced and was a success, which led to the production of not only this film, but also Spiral (1998) - the direct sequel to this movie, released on the same exact theatrical date. The idea was for viewers to watch Ring and Spiral back-to-back in theaters. How does Ring fare?

It's a really strong film, but you probably don't need me to tell you that. Though its place in the zeitgeist is due to the haunted video tape, Ring is mostly a slow burn detective story. The movie relies heavily on dread and tension, rather than outright scares, as Reiko and Ryuji exhaust themselves trying to crack the mystery behind the tape. As a result, Ring is a heavy movie emotionally, and the cast give strong performances playing these nuanced characters.

From an outright horror standpoint, this is probably a great "gateway" entry into the genre. The scares are effective but not overdone, and there's not a drop of blood to be found. If I am to nitpick one aspect of the movie though, it's Reiko's decision to watch the tape. At that point in the movie, she has a really good idea doing so will kill her, so I'm not sure why she didn't smash it with a hammer. It's not the first time curiosity put horror protagonists in bad spots, but it was still one of those "no! what are you doing!?" moments while watching.

Overall, Ring is a classic. It performed very well theatrically, earning $19.4M against a $1.5M budget. As a result, the movie spawned a TV series and 13(!) sequels, which includes American and Korean remakes, as well as two separate timelines within the Japanese sequels (think Halloween series "Cult of Thorn" trilogy).

 

[BigBadBruins7708]

At that point in the movie, she has a really good idea doing so will kill her, so I'm not sure why she didn't smash it with a hammer. It's not the first time curiosity put horror protagonists in bad spots, but it was still one of those "no! what are you doing!?" moments while watching.

I'd file that choice under "you cant expect a character to know what genre they're in"

 

[shadow1]

I hope everyone had a great Halloween.

I still have some reviews in the can, so I'll try to extend this holiday/thread as long as possible.

 

[Osprey]

Same. I watched a bunch of stuff in the last week that I haven't reviewed yet and I didn't get around to watching everything in October that I planned to, so I may just pretend that it's still October for the next few weeks. Besides, it's not like I have a bunch of Thanksgiving movies to move on to.

 

[BostonBob]

Besides, it's not like I have a bunch of Thanksgiving movies to move on to.

Ummm.... Thanksgiving was about 3 weeks ago.

 

[shadow1]

Poltergeist (1982) - 7/10

A family's young daughter is kidnapped by ghosts who haunt their house.

Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams star as Steve and Diane Freeling, who live with their three children in a newly developed community in California. Following an earthquake, a series of otherworldly occurrences being happening in their home, including furniture moving on their own. Things quickly turn much darker when their youngest daughter Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke) is abducted by the supernatural presence. The two parents hire a team of parapsychologists to rescue their daughter...

Poltergeist was directed by Tobe Hooper, and written by Michael Grais, Steven Spielberg, and Mark Victor. The film infamously has a lot of controversy surrounding the director credit, as Steven Spielberg either flat out directed most of the movie, or at minimum used his power to have more creative control on set than credited director Tobe Hooper. This situation led to production company MGM compensating Hooper for minimizing his name in promotional materials, and Spielberg publishing an open letter to Hooper trying to contextualize his involvement in the process.

Despite the behind-the-scenes drama, Poltergeist is considered a classic. It has a number of iconic scenes and is very quotable; I've known of at least two lines of this movie for decades, despite this being my first proper watch of the film. I enjoyed some of the performances here, specially Beatrice Straight's performance as a sympathetic parapsychologist. Maybe more-so than any movie, Poltergeist would be a good gateway movie into the horror genre, as it is an extremely tame movie...except for one particularly gory scene that comes out of no where in the middle of the movie.

I have to admit that this wasn't my favorite movie, though. It is objectively above average, but I personally couldn't seem to get into it. I think a big reason was the score by Jerry Goldsmith, which is bombastic and too family friendly in my opinion. Most of the musical pieces sounded like something you'd hear in an episode of Lassie, not a horror movie about ghosts. That aside, I thought some of the characters were underused (specifically Dominique Dunne, who was tragically murdered in 1982). I also had to suspend my disbelief regarding the decision making of the family right before the climax; who in their right mind would stay in that house for another second?

Overall, Poltergeist is a strong movie, but one I don't personally see myself returning to often. The film was a massive hit, earning $122M against a $10.7M budget. It spawned two sequels, a remake, and a TV series is reportedly in development.

The Devil Rides Out (1968) - 6/10

Two men try to save their friend from a Devil-worshiping cult.

Christopher Lee stars as Nicholas, who is concerned about his protege Simon (Patrick Mower). Along with friend Rex (Leon Greene), Nicholas drops in unannounced at Simon's house and finds a bizarre party happening. Quickly realizing the partygoers plan to practice black magic, Simon and Rex work to save Rex and another partygoer - Tanith (Niké Arrighi) - as they have not been fully indoctrinated by the Devil worshipers yet. However, cult group leader Mocata (Charles Gray) has a psychic powers...

The Devil Rides Out was directed by Terrance Fischer and written by Richard Matheson, adapted from a 1934 Dennis Wheatley Novel of the same name. A later work by Hammer Film Productions, the movie was often cited by Christopher Lee as one of the favorite movies he worked on and that he'd like to see remade. How does it fare?

It's a mixed bag. The Devil Rides out has a great opening sequence, with really strong visuals and atmosphere. During the party sequence, Lee's character quickly realizes something is wrong, and we're along for the ride through Greene's character, who like the audience is oblivious to matters of the occult. At probably the 20 minute mark I was cursing myself for not waiting until Halloween to watch this movie, especially considering the bluray copy I own has been collecting dust for three years.

Fortunately I was able to let myself off the hook because this movie has major act two issues. Out of no where, The Devil Rides Out's plot devolves into a shallow love story between Rex and Tanith, who have very little chemistry. The dark, moody atmosphere of the film's opening are replaced with countryside scenes filmed in broad daylight, and the film features some of the worst car chases you'll ever see (especially when the performers appear out of focus and 1.5x too large relative to the car they're driving).

The film does delve more heavily back into horror at the end, but it's still nearly not as good as the first act. It's a shame because Christopher Lee gives a great performance in this movie, but he's off-screen a lot "researching the occult" as the film focuses on the filler that is the Rex-Tanith relationship. Simon, the friend Nicholas and Rex are supposed to be focused on saving, becomes a very tiny part of the overall plot by the end of the movie.

Overall, The Devil Rides Out is a wild ride of average movie. Some scenes may trick you into believing you're watching a classic, while others will make you think you're watching absolute crap. The truth is somewhere in the middle, resulting in a good addition to the Hammer film catalogue, but not one of their finest. Limited earnings information is available for the Devil Rides Out, but the information I could find indicated Hammer lost money on this film, an unfortunate trend which would eventually lead to the studio ceasing film production in 1979.

 

[shadow1]

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) - 4/10

A group of martial artists go on a quest to protect an ancient village from seven vampires.

Peter Cushing stars as Lawrence Van Helsing, a college professor giving a lecture in China about vampires. He tells the class about the legend of the Seven Golden Vampires, who began terrorizing a remote Chinese village a century earlier. Most of the attendees walk out, but Hsi Ching (David Chiang) believes his story, as he also heard the legend from his grandfather. The two assemble a team of martial artists and go on an adventure to free the village from its curse...

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires was directed by both Roy Ward Baker and Chang Cheh, and written by Don Houghton. The first of two joint Hammer Films-Shaw Brothers Studios productions (followed 1974's Shatter), Baker directed the dialogue scenes, while Cheh directed the martial arts scenes - of which there are many. How does this British-Hong Kong co-production fare?

Wowzer. For background, Hammer was going in bizarre directions to try to keep its Dracula series going in the early 70's. Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972) brought the Prince of Darkness to the modern era, and its equally bizarre sequel - The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973) - is a spy film with Dracula shoehorned in. I enjoy both of those films for what they are, and as a fan of both the horror and martial arts genres, I was hoping for more quirky enjoyment with this film.

Unfortunately, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is bad. The film is an odyssey, with Peter Cushing and company traveling on foot to try to locate the missing village. Any and all plot happens during Cushing's classroom exposition scene, and the rest of the movie is all about the extended vampire fight sequences that continuously pop up. People occasionally get bitten by poor looking vampires wearing masks, but otherwise there's little horror or reason to care about the underdeveloped characters.

The fight sequences themselves are a mixed bag. There are some good moments for sure, but many of the sequences are too long and come off feeling dull. The film tries to keep the viewer awake by showing lots of boobage, with women's tops repeatedly getting cut open during fight sequences, but it only makes the movie feel trashy. By the way, Dracula is in this film, but is played by John-Forbes Robertson rather than Christopher Lee. Lee declined the role after reading the script, and tried to talk Cushing out of doing the film as well, feeling it was beneath him. He was right.

Overall, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is a poor late era Hammer film. It's a shame, as not only was it one of the last Hammer Studios films, but it was the 22nd and final Hammer film to star Peter Cushing. It was one of Cushing's final starring roles period, as he mostly worked in supporting roles from this point forward. For his part, he did a good job and elevated the movie as much as he could while once again playing someone from the Van Helsing blood line. I could not find earnings of The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, but multiple sources note it was not a box office success. Please note, both IMDB and Letterboxd have this movie's user grade at the equivalent of a "6", so take this review with a grain of salt.

Crawl (2019) - 6/10

During a hurricane, a woman is hunted by alligators in the crawl space of her father's home.

Kaya Scodelario stars as Haley, a competitive swimmer. When a Category 5 hurricane hits Florida and she is unable to reach her father Dave (Barry Pepper) via phone, Haley braves the storm to travel to their family home in Cora Lake, an area at risk for flooding. However, upon arriving she finds her father injured in the house's crawl space, and quickly realized she is trapped by two large alligators...

Crawl was directed by Alexandre Aja and written by Michael and Shawn Rasmussen. Aja rewrote much of the Rasmussen's spec script to increase the severity of the storm, number of locations, and ferocity of the alligators, turning the movie into a home invasion plot. How does this nature attacks movie fare?

Pretty well! Crawl is a decent creature feature bottle movie, with our protagonists trapped underneath their house and having to fight off vicious alligator foes. For a movie of this type, the characters are surprisingly well written, with flushed out character motivations and good performances by Scodelario and Pepper. The film also has good pacing and manages to maintain the tension pretty well.

I don't have too many gripes, but naturally there are some. One nitpick is the look of the alligators, which is inconsistent from scene to scene. Sometimes they look great; other times they look super fake, which hurt the immersion. I would also argue the film loses steam at the end. Crawl is only 87 minutes long, and the film struggles to reach that run time (which is part of the reason for the brevity of this review). Around the hour mark it feels like the events reach their natural conclusion, and the film seems to be running on fumes as it squeezes out the final 20 minutes.

Overall, Crawl is a good natural disaster creature feature. Despite being filmed in Serbia, the movie had a relatively high budget of $13.5M, which I assume mostly went towards the alligator effects. Fortunately, the movie performed well at the box office, earning $91.5M.

 

[shadow1]

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021) - 5/10

The Warrens try to prove the innocence of a murderer, who they believe was possessed by a demon.

Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson return as husband-and-wife paranormal investigators Lorraine and Ed Warren. Following what was believed to be a successful exorcism, Arne (Ruairi O'Connor) - one of the onlookers - begins displaying erratic behavior. Lorraine begins to believe she saw a demon enter Arne, and after he commits a violent murder, it's up to the Warrens to prove his innocence...

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It was directed by Michael Chaves, and written by Chad Hayes, David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, and James Wan. The third Conjuring film, and seventh film in the Conjuring Cinematic Universe, The Devil Made Me Do It is based on the real life 1981 trial of Arne Cheyenne Johnson. How does this film adaptation of a real life case fare?

Boring! The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It switches up the Conjuring formula from the tried-and-true haunted house setup to that of a more straightforward investigation. This is to the film's detriment, as the movie lacks atmosphere and is overly exposition heavy. I realize this is based on a true story (more on that later) so the filmmakers were somewhat limited in how to tell the story, but I still feel the execution isn't great.

Specifically, there is a lot of information to digest in this film; it begs for the audience's full attention, but does nothing to earn it. The film has a cold open that thrusts you in the middle of an exorcism, but this scene really struggles in the horror department. There are a lot of jump scares, but you can see them coming from so far away that I personally didn't even shuffle in my seat. Act two is almost all story and no scares, which makes this nearly two hour film drag considerably before its underwhelming finale.

As for this movie being based on a true story... many people believe the real life Warrens greatly exaggerated their claims, to put in generously. Even with the relative lack of scares in The Devil Made Me Do It, you really need to suspend your disbelief with some of the paranormal phenomena shown. It's not lost on me that this is a horror movie, so some sensationalism is allowed. However, even the basic facts of the trial of Arne Cheyenne Johnson are presented with inaccuracies, either outright or by omission. With that knowledge in mind, it made the entire movie feel phony to me. I did not feel that way after watching the first two Conjuring movies, and your milage may vary.

Overall, The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It is an underwhelming franchise entry. I feel like the movie could've shaved off 30 minutes and possibly have been more effective, but as it stands it is a film I found it tough to sit through at times due to its slow pacing. Despite what I think, and despite being one of the first films to return to theaters during the Covid-19 pandemic, The Conjuring 3 was a huge hit, earning $206.4M against a $39M budget.

Tales of Halloween (2015) - 5/10

In this anthology film, ten Halloween Night horror stories are told, all set in the same American suburb.

Tales of a Halloween Night was directed by twelve different directors, with fourteen credited writers. The film received a limited theatrical release before heading direct to streaming. How does it fare?

It's a mixed bag, but it's not all bad. Tales of Halloween is narrated by Adrienne Barbeau as a radio DJ, a clear throwback to 1980's The Fog and she sounds as seductive and sexy as ever. Unfortunately, the good Halloween atmosphere is suppressed by some very weak anthologies early on. To me, a good anthology story usually has a twist or some form of irony that makes it enjoyable. But because there are so many anthologies crammed into the 92 minute run time, most of them are extremely short, and there are at least a couple stories that don't have a payoff.

For example, one story has a character being followed by something unseen. It's well shot, and you think it's going somewhere, but then it just ends abruptly on a lame jump scare. In addition to instances of weak writing, the production value is inconsistent between the stories. Some of them look good, while others have Youtube-level special effects.

Fortunately, just when it looked like all hope was lost, Tales of Halloween rattled off four pretty good anthologies to close out the movie. Not great, but definitely well shot and pretty fun, leaving me feeling overall slightly positive about the movie. It's worth noting that despite the inconsistency, the film does have a good Halloween season atmosphere throughout. There are also a number of well known horror faces who make appearances, including Barry Bostwick, Sean Clark, Mick Garris, Stuart Gordon, John Landis, Felissa Rose, Lin Shaye, and Caroline Williams.

Overall, Tales of Halloween is store brand Trick 'r Treat (2007). If you haven't seen it, it's a decent candidate to include in a Halloween night movie marathon thanks to its good seasonal atmosphere. Just make sure it's not the main feature of the night (like *someone* accidentally did...cough), as the first half of the movie is very inconsistent.

 

[blueandgoldguy]

Shadow1 if you are looking for a decent courtroom drama regarding exorcisms I recommend The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I think it was from 2005 or so. Good performances all around from what I remember. Also based on a true story

 

[shadow1]

The Last Exorcism (2010) - 7/10

A prosperity preacher sets out to prove exorcisms are fake.

Patrick Fabian stars as Cotton Marcus, a reverend in Baton Rogue. Cotton is being followed by documentary filmmakers Daniel (Adam Grimes) and Iris (Iris Bahr), showing them how he runs his Church like a business while demonstrating questionable faith. After reading about an exorcism in which a young boy died, Cotton vows to expose this practice as fraudulent to ensure no child is needlessly harmed again. After receiving a letter from a man named Louis (Louis Sweetzer) claiming his daughter Nell (Ashley Bell) is possessed, Cotton and his film crew set out for rural Louisiana...

The Last Exorcism was directed by Daniel Stamm, and written by Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland. Produced by Eli Roth, the film came out in the midst of an exorcism boom, following the commercial success of other movies like The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005). How does The Last Exorcism compare to the competition?

This exorcism, found footage, PG-13 movie... is awesome. Full disclosure: this was the final movie I watched on Halloween night, and I didn't expect much. Frankly, I only watched it because I was one movie away from completing my Hooptober list. I needed a movie with "X" in the title, and after watching the two movies in my previous review, I was too tired to watch the originally planned Saw X (2023). Additionally, I watched this movie in particular specifically because it starred Patrick Fabian, who was excellent in Better Call Saul (2015-2022). I figured I'd be fighting consciousness as I grinded out what was likely to be a mediocre final film in my Hooptober watch list.

Instead, what I found was a movie that completely arrested my attention. If you watch the trailer for The Last Exorcism, it looks like any other dime-a-dozen cash grab exorcism film. The movie itself is nothing like that, fortunately. It's a character driven movie mostly focusing on Cotton, who grew up in the church but now places his faith in science after his son was born with a disability.

A priest losing their faith sounds highly derivative of The Exorcist (1973), but Cotton's character isn't like that. He's still religious up to a point, but he believes the power of suggestion is his most potent tool as a priest. He does many morally questionable things, believing the ends justify the means. However, with some of the events that play out during this film, his philosophy is challenged and you can see he really does care about people. The writers could've easily made him out to be a complete charlatan and then - shocker! - the girl is really possessed, but that's not what this movie is.

There is horror in The Last Exorcist, though - it is a horror movie, after all. It is very light however, and I'm happy to report the film relies on tension as opposed to jump scares. Interestingly this movie may have been just as effective with no horror elements, so it may disappoint people looking to watch something more outwardly scary. I suspect this may be the reason for the high critic score on Rotten Tomatoes (72%), but mediocre scores on IMDB (5.7) and Letterboxd (2.8/5). It's also worth noting that the film portrays religious people as extremely gullible, which may rub some audience members the wrong way.

Overall, The Last Exorcism is a shockingly good found footage movie. A film I had no intention to watch ended up being arguably my favorite of the entire Halloween season (best laid plans, right?), and I plan to return to this movie in the future. Due to what is blatantly false advertising in the trailers, The Last Exorcism was a big commercial success, earning $69.4M against its microscopic $1.8M budget.

---

And that does it for my personal Halloween horror movie watchlist. I also watched Halloween 4, the theatrical version of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, and Halloween 5 (in that order, for some reason) the last couple days of the month, while catching chunks of some of the other Halloween films on TV.

I might just stick with that series on Halloween night next year. I always childishly try to carefully manicure the movies I watch on Halloween night, but the end result is often movies I don't enjoy. Even though I have criticisms of it, I don't think anything will ever beat Halloween II (1981) for me as the best movie to watch on Halloween night (fortunately, I caught the end of it on TV after finishing Tales of Halloween). But with that said, Patrick Fabian saved my Halloween night this year, and I may have missed out on a great movie if I strictly watched the Michael Myers series again.

 

[Osprey]

Talk to Me (2022) - 4/10

Teenagers talk to the hand. The idea of an embalmed hand that allows contact with the dead is a clever way to make an old concept feel fresh. It's essentially a ouija board movie with a hand instead of a board, so not really as original as it may seem at first, but at least it tried something new and interesting. The "game" that the kids play is an apparent allegory for drug use--play it too much and it'll damage you permanently--but also a somewhat nonsensical one, since you'd think that inviting the dead would freak the kids out, not leave them with a high that they'd care to repeat. By welcoming the experience and treating it like a game, they came across as incredibly stupid and hard for me to have any sympathy for. The lead character is the worst. She's especially reckless, selfish and unsympathetic. The way that she treats those close to her, while acting innocent, was off putting. The story is full of things that don't make a lot of sense or are unexplained, and the rules of the game seem to change as it progresses. I didn't find it all that scary or suspenseful. Last year's Smile is a similar type of film that I thought was more effective and unsettling. This one just felt rather tame and generic. I guess that you could say that it didn't talk to me.

The Pope's Exorcist (2023) - 5/10

Russell Crowe flies to Spain to help a family with its exorcise routine. The first two thirds are rather engaging. The cinematography is strong and Crowe really gets into character as the Vatican's top exorcist who has a bit of an attitude and a sense of humor. He's a likable character and Crowe carries the first two acts. Unfortunately, the film goes off of the rails in the final third when it takes a pseudo-historical turn like The Da Vinci Code and gets even more unbelievable. The end just felt over the top and it even had the audacity to leave the door open for a sequel, which just cheapened the whole thing further. It's too bad because I quite liked the first two thirds of the film.

The Exorcist: Believer (2023) - 3/10

Two girls go missing and then re-appear with a new friend. Someone needs to revoke David Gordon Green's horror license before he does any more damage to classic franchises. I found this to be as bad as his last two Halloween movies, if not worse. It doesn't even feel like an 'Exorcist' movie for most of it. It's not atmospheric or scary. It's predictable, soulless, generic and bland. I hated how Green brought back Ellen Burstyn's character from the original for fan service only to treat her like he did. Shame on him. If I really tried, I might be able to find a nice thing to say about the movie, but I don't want to. I saw it weeks ago and just want to forget it.

 

[Osprey]

I intended to review these in November, but kept thinking "I'll wait so that I can include one more." Well, it's now December and I'm starting to have trouble remembering them, but here goes, anyways...

Cutting Class (1989) - 6/10

A mysterious killer is on the loose in a high school. There's nothing original or the least bit scary about this late 80s slasher/whodunit, but it does feature a young Brad Pitt in his first major film role, which makes it interesting. He stars alongside the cute, "girl next door" Jill Schoelen, who is another highlight of the film. There's also an extreme 80s-ness to it that's nostalgic for me. It felt like a movie that I would've watched repeatedly and liked 30 years ago, regardless of whether or not it was good. Indeed, the plot isn't that great, being predictable and filled with obvious red herrings, but I didn't really mind for once because it was a pleasant watch, regardless.

The Funhouse (1981) - 6/10

Teenage couples visit the carnival and get trapped overnight in the funhouse with a freak. This was a little better than I expected. The cinematography is really nice and it has good atmosphere, maybe mostly because of the carnival setting, but that's one reason why I really like them in horror films. Carnivals, with their freak shows, sleazy carnies, imagery and noises tend to make for a creepy atmosphere. The movie isn't really scary, though, which is a disappointment coming from Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and the main freak looks too much like a guy in a Halloween mask, but I still liked it enough.

The Phantom of the Opera (1989) - 6/10

Robert Englund branches out by playing a psycho with a horribly burned face who slices up people. I didn't think that I had seen this slasher take on the famous story, but I quickly realized that I had, several times, back in the 90s. I didn't mind, though, since there aren't many 19th century slashers, the sets and costumes are lavish, the gore is good and it stars Jill Schoelen again. It also has an inspirational message that, no matter how ugly and creepy you are, you can still get the girl if you stalk her, murder those who get in your way and sew their skin onto your face.

Popcorn (1991) - 5/10

College film students renovate a theater and put on a horror movie marathon while a killer offs them one by one. This felt like The Phantom of the Opera, but in a movie theater. It's also an obvious celebration of B horror movies of the 50s and 60s, especially those of William Castle, who famously employed gimmicks like skeletons on zip lines flying over the audience to promote his movies. In this, the kids do the same with a giant mosquito during a showing of a mosquito attack flick. I really liked all of that homage and the fun atmosphere in the first hour. What brought it down for me was the last half hour, when it starts to build up to the reveal of the killer's identity and motivation and just gets convoluted and nonsensical. It's too bad that the slasher aspect feels so unoriginal and doesn't work well because the homage to classic horror really does.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) - 5/10

Leatherface finds a girlfriend. I didn't expect this to live up to his original in any way, but Tobe Hooper didn't even try. For some reason, he made this into more of a dark comedy than a horror and Leatherface into the most likable and sympathetic of the antagonists. It's easy to see why it's such a polarizing movie. Compared to the original, it's deeply disappointing. Once I got over that and accepted it for what it was, though, it wasn't that bad. It helped that it has some nice, expensive sets and a pretty cool chainsaw duel at the end. It's not surprising to see that this was Hooper's last mainstream movie, though. It appears as though he shot his career in the foot with it, but it's seemingly gained a following over time.

Microwave Massacre (1979) - 3/10

A construction worker gets drunk and makes TV dinners out of his annoying wife and assorted hookers. There was something familiar about the lead actor's voice, so I checked and discovered that he was the voice of Frosty the Snowman. That just made the rest of the movie more surreal, since his character makes perverse jokes about murder, cannibalism and sex in that innocent, soft-spoken "cartoon" voice. It's a really horrible movie with a microscopic budget that looks and is performed like a 70s sitcom, but at least it doesn't take itself seriously and actually has some amusing situations and deadpan humor. I wouldn't say that it's "so bad it's good," but it's so bad it's funny. Unfortunately, by watching it, I may've ruined Frosty the Snowman forever.

ThanksKilling (2009) - 3/10

A wise-cracking turkey hand puppet carves up college students and gobbles them. When I wished for more Thanksgiving horror movies, I should've been more specific. This is really dreadful filmmaking, from the amateurish camerawork to the awful dialogue and acting. At least it knows that it's bad and glorifies in it by being absurd, like how no one realizes that they're talking to a bird and not a person. Some of the crass humor, like the turkey saying "You just got stuffed!" to one of his victims, is a bit funny, but you might need to be drunk with friends to find most of it hilarious. It has to be one of the dumbest movies that I've seen,... a real turkey, you might say.

 

[Satans Hockey]

ThanksKilling (2009) - 3/10

When I wished for more Thanksgiving horror movies, I should've been more specific.

Have you watched Into the Dark at all? They are more shorter movies than TV episodes but they are all themed around different holidays, there's 2 Thanksgiving episodes, I enjoyed them.