- Mar 20, 2017
- 1,625
- 1,306
GKJ:
Background:
In the build-up to WrestleVania 9, PCW General Manager unveils a shocking announcement: a once-in-a-lifetime main event made possible by “ChronoGate,” a mysterious, kayfabe portal that bends time to deliver dream matches. The portal opens—and stepping out is none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper, in his prime, kilt on, hot-tempered and defiant as ever.
Meanwhile, Drew McIntyre, the reigning PCW Men’s Commonwealth Champion, has spent the last year dominating the roster with honor, grit, and brutality. He’s been called a modern-day warrior—determined, disciplined, and deadly with a claymore in hand. But Drew’s legacy still lacks one thing: a true icon to test him.
The Spark:
In a heated segment on PCW Rebirth, Piper interrupts Drew’s championship address. With trademark fire, he calls McIntyre “a Braveheart wannabe” and says, “Scotland already has a legend—it doesn’t need a corporate claymore-carrying poster boy.”
Drew, respectful at first, eventually snaps: “You paved the way—but you never walked the path I’ve walked. You were chaos—I am conquest.”
The tension boils. The PCW Universe is divided—classic vs. modern, heart vs. honor, legend vs. legacy.
The Build-Up:
Over the following weeks, Piper unearths Drew’s past—his early failures, the burden of expectations, the lonely road back to glory. Piper cuts vicious promos, claiming Drew represents everything Piper despised about the wrestling business becoming “too clean.”
Drew, on the other hand, speaks about how Piper was the blueprint for antiheroes like him, but insists he fights not for rebellion—but for Scotland, pride, and family.
Multiple physical altercations escalate:
ACT I: The Champions Stand Alone
Sareee & Mayu Iwatani are introduced as “Heaven’s Edge”—a duo forged in the fires of Joshi puroresu and baptized in championship gold. After a yearlong undefeated streak across PCW, Stardom, and even interpromotional territory, they are hailed by commentators and analysts as “the greatest women’s tag team in the world.”
Their chemistry is telepathic. Their offense is a blend of ruthless strikes and elegant tandem artistry. No team has even come close—until now.
ACT II: Bayley’s Broken Road
Bayley’s year has been rough. After a devastating betrayal by her previous partner, she’s left without a team, doubting her worth in a division that’s passed her by.
In a backstage segment on PCW Spotlight, she’s asked who she would team with if she were to go after the tag titles again. She hesitates… then looks to the camera and says with a mix of hope and fear:
“AJ Lee. She’s the reason I even became a wrestler. If I ever got one more shot… I’d want it to be with her.”
ACT III: The Comeback Queen
The very next week, during a chaotic in-ring confrontation involving Sareee & Mayu, Bayley comes out to confront the champs—but the numbers game is too much. As the champs prepare to lay her out…
AJ Lee’s music hits.
The crowd erupts. AJ sprints down, clears the ring, and stares down the champions beside Bayley. She grabs a mic:
“You wanted one last run? Let’s make it historic.”
The match is made official: AJ Lee returns from retirement to team with Bayley at WrestleVania 9 —not just to challenge for gold, but to chase a dream they both once believed was out of reach.
ACT IV: Respect vs. Reality
The story becomes generational:
AJ tells the champs: “You’ve got the titles. But we’ve got the reason.”
ACT V: WrestleVania 9 – The Match
Big-fight feel. Neon-on-black set. The crowd is electric.
Epilogue:
After the bell, Sareee and Mayu offer a sign of respect—bowing to Bayley and AJ before hoisting the belts. AJ tells Bayley backstage:
“We didn’t win the match. But we won the moment.”
Bayley smiles through tears.
“You coming back… was the title.”
Legacy:
Setup:
At a press conference for WrestleVania 9, PCW unveils a blockbuster: two of wrestling’s most dominant forces—Vader, in his prime via the ChronoGate, vs. Bobby Lashley, the modern juggernaut.
Lashley says, “I’ve crushed giants. But I’ve never faced a force of nature.”
Vader snarls, “I am the force of nature.”
No titles. No gimmicks. Just raw power.
Build:
Promos show clips of Vader’s moonsaults and clubbing strikes spliced with Lashley’s spears and deadlift suplexes. Analysts call it “an earthquake waiting to happen.”
Each man promises to break the other—and prove who the real alpha is.
Background: The Keystone Cup
The Keystone Cup is PCW’s most grueling annual tournament—a months-long battle across weight classes, fighting styles, and eras. It’s designed to crown not just a challenger—but the next cornerstone of the promotion.
This year’s twist? The ChronoGate opens, allowing legends to enter. Among them: the late, great Brodie Lee—in his prime, resurrected in spirit and strength, entering to honor the legacy he never got to fully realize.
Tournament Paths:
Will Ospreay’s Journey:
The contrast is clear:
Storyline:
PCW announces the Tag Team Gauntlet Series to determine the top contenders. Chaos erupts as four wildly different teams each win qualifying bouts—but all four refuse to wait their turn.
Tensions boil over during a contract signing—tables smashed, ladders thrown, chairs flying. The only solution? A fatal four-way TLC match at WrestleVania 9.
ACT I: The Monster Awakens
After another successful title defense, Becky Lynch stands in the center of the ring at PCW Rebirth and says:
“I’m not just carrying this title—I’m carrying the weight of every woman who’s fought to make wrestling ours. So if anyone wants to come for me… bring something real.”
Cue a haunting siren. Dump Matsumoto appears via the ChronoGate, dragging a steel chain, flanked by silent masked attendants. She steps over the barricade and locks eyes with Becky. No words. Just the look of someone who didn’t come for competition—she came for ruin.
ACT II: Fear Without Weapons
Dump doesn’t use weapons during her matches—because she doesn’t need to. She wins with rage, rule-bending, and pure intimidation:
Becky, watching from backstage, sees younger wrestlers start pulling out of matches against Dump. Her presence alone is rotting the division from the inside.
ACT III: Becky’s Challenge
Becky cuts a fiery promo:
“I’ve been underestimated, overlooked, and outnumbered—but never outclassed. You want my title? Try taking it straight-up. No chains. No shortcuts. Just you, me, and the rules you love to twist.”
The match is made official under standard singles rules—but Becky insists on one thing: no interference, enforced by PCW leadership. If Dump breaks the rules—she’s disqualified. If Becky does—she loses the belt.
ACT IV: The Match
Presentation:
ACT I: The Final Request
For five straight years, Mercedes Moné has held the PCW World Women’s Championship. She’s not just a champion—she’s the defining figure in the promotion. Charismatic, cold, calculated. She owns the spotlight, the locker room, and the legacy. She’s already ended the careers of several legends—clean or not—often with a smirk.
Then she asks for one last name. One final legend. One challenge to prove she truly is “the final boss of women’s wrestling.”
She calls out Meiko Satomura.
The crowd erupts—not just in hype, but in reverence.
Mercedes smiles:
“They call her ‘The Final Boss’? Let’s see what happens when the boss meets the bank.”
ACT II: Satomura’s Announcement
The next week on PCW Rebirth, Meiko appears—stoic, composed.
She confirms: this will be her final match.
Her words are simple:
“I have fought for decades. In Japan. In Europe. In America. There is no better final test than Mercedes Moné. And there is no greater honor than going out with a fight.”
The crowd chants “You still got it!” She nods once.
But the pressure shifts. Mercedes’s smirk fades.
Commentators whisper: “Be careful what you wish for…”
ACT III: A Champion’s Fear
As the match draws closer, cracks begin to show in Mercedes. Despite her arrogance, there’s one truth she can’t ignore:
She asked for this.
Video packages show her previous “retirements”—ending legends. But none had Meiko’s aura. Her aura is mythic—calm, calculating, iron-willed.
Backstage promos show Mercedes growing paranoid:
“If I lose… I don’t just lose the title. I lose everything I built.”
ACT IV: WrestleVania 9 – The Match
Presentation:
Tagline: “Who Writes History?”
ACT I: The King of Eras
Seth Rollins, multi-time PCW World Champion, walks into WrestleVania 9 with something bigger than the belt on his shoulders—legacy. He’s headlined more PCW events than anyone, outlasted rivalries, reshaped himself again and again, and survived an era filled with killers, icons, and future Hall of Famers.
On an edition of PCW Rebirth, Seth stands center ring and says:
“I’m not just the champion of PCW. I’m the era. I’m the reason the lights are still on. So let’s stop dancing around it… I want to go one hour. One match. One name. Iron Man rules. WrestleVania 9.”
The crowd buzzes. Rollins smirks:
“Not just anybody, though. Bring me a name that shakes the building. Bring me the best you’ve got… from any timeline.”
The challenge is laid. Not from necessity. Not from fear.
But from sheer ego.
ACT II: Viva La Shockwave
Two weeks later, the ChronoGate opens. And out steps a man no one thought they’d see again: Eddie Guerrero, in his prime—tape on the wrists, confidence in the smirk, gold glint in the eyes.
He doesn’t waste time.
He looks into the camera backstage:
“Seth, I heard you wanted the best. Well, ese… now you’ve got a real problem.”
The crowd erupts. Online, wrestling media melts down.
Commentary calls it the greatest stylistic collision in PCW history.
ACT III: The Match Becomes a Message
Rollins isn’t rattled—he’s fired up. In a fiery promo, he lays it out:
“You were the past. I am the present. And the next sixty minutes will be a message to the future.”
Rollins says he chose the stipulation not just to beat Eddie—but to show that no one from the past can hang in his generation for a full hour.
“You’re not the first legend I’ve buried with time, Eddie. But you’ll be the most poetic.”
Eddie isn’t impressed. He stays calm, cool, cutting:
“I don’t need sixty minutes to beat you, Seth. But I’ll take every second if it means shutting you up.”
The build is rooted in competitive pride, not hate. It’s not personal—it’s legacy warfare.
One trying to preserve his dominance, the other trying to prove he still defines greatness.
ACT IV: WrestleVania 9 – Main Event Presentation
Atmosphere:
-VS-
Habsrule:
Background:
In the build-up to WrestleVania 9, PCW General Manager unveils a shocking announcement: a once-in-a-lifetime main event made possible by “ChronoGate,” a mysterious, kayfabe portal that bends time to deliver dream matches. The portal opens—and stepping out is none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper, in his prime, kilt on, hot-tempered and defiant as ever.
Meanwhile, Drew McIntyre, the reigning PCW Men’s Commonwealth Champion, has spent the last year dominating the roster with honor, grit, and brutality. He’s been called a modern-day warrior—determined, disciplined, and deadly with a claymore in hand. But Drew’s legacy still lacks one thing: a true icon to test him.
The Spark:
In a heated segment on PCW Rebirth, Piper interrupts Drew’s championship address. With trademark fire, he calls McIntyre “a Braveheart wannabe” and says, “Scotland already has a legend—it doesn’t need a corporate claymore-carrying poster boy.”
Drew, respectful at first, eventually snaps: “You paved the way—but you never walked the path I’ve walked. You were chaos—I am conquest.”
The tension boils. The PCW Universe is divided—classic vs. modern, heart vs. honor, legend vs. legacy.
The Build-Up:
Over the following weeks, Piper unearths Drew’s past—his early failures, the burden of expectations, the lonely road back to glory. Piper cuts vicious promos, claiming Drew represents everything Piper despised about the wrestling business becoming “too clean.”
Drew, on the other hand, speaks about how Piper was the blueprint for antiheroes like him, but insists he fights not for rebellion—but for Scotland, pride, and family.
Multiple physical altercations escalate:
- Piper smashes Drew over the head with a coconut (a callback).
- Drew lays Piper out with a Claymore during a Legends Panel.
- A contract signing ends in Piper stabbing the table with a Scottish dirk, daring Drew to bring ear.
ACT I: The Champions Stand Alone
Sareee & Mayu Iwatani are introduced as “Heaven’s Edge”—a duo forged in the fires of Joshi puroresu and baptized in championship gold. After a yearlong undefeated streak across PCW, Stardom, and even interpromotional territory, they are hailed by commentators and analysts as “the greatest women’s tag team in the world.”
Their chemistry is telepathic. Their offense is a blend of ruthless strikes and elegant tandem artistry. No team has even come close—until now.
ACT II: Bayley’s Broken Road
Bayley’s year has been rough. After a devastating betrayal by her previous partner, she’s left without a team, doubting her worth in a division that’s passed her by.
In a backstage segment on PCW Spotlight, she’s asked who she would team with if she were to go after the tag titles again. She hesitates… then looks to the camera and says with a mix of hope and fear:
“AJ Lee. She’s the reason I even became a wrestler. If I ever got one more shot… I’d want it to be with her.”
ACT III: The Comeback Queen
The very next week, during a chaotic in-ring confrontation involving Sareee & Mayu, Bayley comes out to confront the champs—but the numbers game is too much. As the champs prepare to lay her out…
AJ Lee’s music hits.
The crowd erupts. AJ sprints down, clears the ring, and stares down the champions beside Bayley. She grabs a mic:
“You wanted one last run? Let’s make it historic.”
The match is made official: AJ Lee returns from retirement to team with Bayley at WrestleVania 9 —not just to challenge for gold, but to chase a dream they both once believed was out of reach.
ACT IV: Respect vs. Reality
The story becomes generational:
- Sareee & Mayu see Bayley & AJ as living in fantasy, clinging to emotion over excellence.
- In promos, Sareee says, “You’re tagging with your childhood poster, not a partner.”
- Mayu says: “We are the present and the future. You two are a storybook.”
AJ tells the champs: “You’ve got the titles. But we’ve got the reason.”
ACT V: WrestleVania 9 – The Match
Big-fight feel. Neon-on-black set. The crowd is electric.
- Bayley and AJ start strong with fired-up teamwork and callbacks to their WWE roots—AJ’s Black Widow, Bayley’s belly-to-belly.
- Sareee & Mayu weather the storm with violent precision—stiff forearms, brutal suplexes, and tag synergy.
- AJ takes the punishment. The crowd wills her toward Bayley. Hot tag.
- Bayley comes in fiery—clears house, gets a huge near fall on Mayu after the Rose Plant.
- Chaos erupts. AJ hits the Shining Wizard on Sareee. Mayu hits a moonsault on AJ. Bayley saves the pin.
- Final sequence: Bayley and AJ go for a double-team finisher—but Sareee slips out, sends AJ flying, and Mayu hits Moon’s Edge (top-rope double stomp) on Bayley.
- Sareee locks in a submission on AJ—who passes out.
Epilogue:
After the bell, Sareee and Mayu offer a sign of respect—bowing to Bayley and AJ before hoisting the belts. AJ tells Bayley backstage:
“We didn’t win the match. But we won the moment.”
Bayley smiles through tears.
“You coming back… was the title.”
Legacy:
- Sareee & Mayu are firmly established as untouchable at the top.
- Bayley and AJ become the heart of the division, fueling a new tag renaissance.
- AJ stays on short-term, mentoring up-and-comers.
- Bayley becomes the emotional centerpiece of the women’s division once again.
Setup:
At a press conference for WrestleVania 9, PCW unveils a blockbuster: two of wrestling’s most dominant forces—Vader, in his prime via the ChronoGate, vs. Bobby Lashley, the modern juggernaut.
Lashley says, “I’ve crushed giants. But I’ve never faced a force of nature.”
Vader snarls, “I am the force of nature.”
No titles. No gimmicks. Just raw power.
Build:
Promos show clips of Vader’s moonsaults and clubbing strikes spliced with Lashley’s spears and deadlift suplexes. Analysts call it “an earthquake waiting to happen.”
Each man promises to break the other—and prove who the real alpha is.
Background: The Keystone Cup
The Keystone Cup is PCW’s most grueling annual tournament—a months-long battle across weight classes, fighting styles, and eras. It’s designed to crown not just a challenger—but the next cornerstone of the promotion.
This year’s twist? The ChronoGate opens, allowing legends to enter. Among them: the late, great Brodie Lee—in his prime, resurrected in spirit and strength, entering to honor the legacy he never got to fully realize.
Tournament Paths:
Will Ospreay’s Journey:
- Fights with unmatched endurance—barely surviving matches against high-flyers, submission specialists, and bruisers.
- Wrestles not just for glory, but to prove he’s more than “flippy” or flashy—he’s championship material.
- In promos: “This isn’t about showing out. This is about showing up… when it matters most.”
- Plows through his side of the bracket with frightening dominance.
- Silent in promos, letting his eyes and actions speak. Commentary dubs him “the storm that doesn’t pass.”
- His presence is almost mythic—fans chant “Welcome back, Brodie” wherever he goes.
The contrast is clear:
- Ospreay: The modern hybrid. Speed, risk, innovation, heart.
- Brodie: The towering revenant. Control, precision, wrath, mystery.
- Ospreay reflects on how he idolized Brodie Lee, but now must kill that idol to ascend.
- Brodie finally speaks in a backstage sit-down:
“I didn’t come back for applause. I came back to finish what I started.”
Storyline:
PCW announces the Tag Team Gauntlet Series to determine the top contenders. Chaos erupts as four wildly different teams each win qualifying bouts—but all four refuse to wait their turn.
Tensions boil over during a contract signing—tables smashed, ladders thrown, chairs flying. The only solution? A fatal four-way TLC match at WrestleVania 9.
- The Dudley Boyz return via ChronoGate, determined to prove they invented this chaos.
- The Lucha Brothers bring high-flying destruction and want to claim TLC as lucha territory.
- Head Cheese—equal parts deadly and deranged—play mind games with weapons in hand.
- Fraxiom, the rebellious new-gen duo, claim it’s their era now—and they’ll climb to prove it.
ACT I: The Monster Awakens
After another successful title defense, Becky Lynch stands in the center of the ring at PCW Rebirth and says:
“I’m not just carrying this title—I’m carrying the weight of every woman who’s fought to make wrestling ours. So if anyone wants to come for me… bring something real.”
Cue a haunting siren. Dump Matsumoto appears via the ChronoGate, dragging a steel chain, flanked by silent masked attendants. She steps over the barricade and locks eyes with Becky. No words. Just the look of someone who didn’t come for competition—she came for ruin.
ACT II: Fear Without Weapons
Dump doesn’t use weapons during her matches—because she doesn’t need to. She wins with rage, rule-bending, and pure intimidation:
- Pulling hair right at the edge of the 5-count.
- Faking injuries to lure opponents into traps.
- Using ropes, corners, and referees as shields and tools.
Becky, watching from backstage, sees younger wrestlers start pulling out of matches against Dump. Her presence alone is rotting the division from the inside.
ACT III: Becky’s Challenge
Becky cuts a fiery promo:
“I’ve been underestimated, overlooked, and outnumbered—but never outclassed. You want my title? Try taking it straight-up. No chains. No shortcuts. Just you, me, and the rules you love to twist.”
The match is made official under standard singles rules—but Becky insists on one thing: no interference, enforced by PCW leadership. If Dump breaks the rules—she’s disqualified. If Becky does—she loses the belt.
ACT IV: The Match
Presentation:
- Becky enters with a cold, focused presence. No bravado—just war-ready intensity.
- Dump enters slowly, dragging her chain behind her but leaving it at the ramp, smirking as if to say: “I don’t need it tonight.”
ACT I: The Final Request
For five straight years, Mercedes Moné has held the PCW World Women’s Championship. She’s not just a champion—she’s the defining figure in the promotion. Charismatic, cold, calculated. She owns the spotlight, the locker room, and the legacy. She’s already ended the careers of several legends—clean or not—often with a smirk.
Then she asks for one last name. One final legend. One challenge to prove she truly is “the final boss of women’s wrestling.”
She calls out Meiko Satomura.
The crowd erupts—not just in hype, but in reverence.
Mercedes smiles:
“They call her ‘The Final Boss’? Let’s see what happens when the boss meets the bank.”
ACT II: Satomura’s Announcement
The next week on PCW Rebirth, Meiko appears—stoic, composed.
She confirms: this will be her final match.
Her words are simple:
“I have fought for decades. In Japan. In Europe. In America. There is no better final test than Mercedes Moné. And there is no greater honor than going out with a fight.”
The crowd chants “You still got it!” She nods once.
But the pressure shifts. Mercedes’s smirk fades.
Commentators whisper: “Be careful what you wish for…”
ACT III: A Champion’s Fear
As the match draws closer, cracks begin to show in Mercedes. Despite her arrogance, there’s one truth she can’t ignore:
She asked for this.
Video packages show her previous “retirements”—ending legends. But none had Meiko’s aura. Her aura is mythic—calm, calculating, iron-willed.
Backstage promos show Mercedes growing paranoid:
“If I lose… I don’t just lose the title. I lose everything I built.”
ACT IV: WrestleVania 9 – The Match
Presentation:
- Mercedes enters draped in gold, with custom gear spelling “Forever” on her jacket.
- Meiko walks slowly, to traditional Japanese taiko drums. No frills. Just legacy.
Tagline: “Who Writes History?”
ACT I: The King of Eras
Seth Rollins, multi-time PCW World Champion, walks into WrestleVania 9 with something bigger than the belt on his shoulders—legacy. He’s headlined more PCW events than anyone, outlasted rivalries, reshaped himself again and again, and survived an era filled with killers, icons, and future Hall of Famers.
On an edition of PCW Rebirth, Seth stands center ring and says:
“I’m not just the champion of PCW. I’m the era. I’m the reason the lights are still on. So let’s stop dancing around it… I want to go one hour. One match. One name. Iron Man rules. WrestleVania 9.”
The crowd buzzes. Rollins smirks:
“Not just anybody, though. Bring me a name that shakes the building. Bring me the best you’ve got… from any timeline.”
The challenge is laid. Not from necessity. Not from fear.
But from sheer ego.
ACT II: Viva La Shockwave
Two weeks later, the ChronoGate opens. And out steps a man no one thought they’d see again: Eddie Guerrero, in his prime—tape on the wrists, confidence in the smirk, gold glint in the eyes.
He doesn’t waste time.
He looks into the camera backstage:
“Seth, I heard you wanted the best. Well, ese… now you’ve got a real problem.”
The crowd erupts. Online, wrestling media melts down.
Commentary calls it the greatest stylistic collision in PCW history.
- Rollins: The Architect, the Chameleon, the Showman.
- Guerrero: The Original Hybrid, The Trickster Technician, The Ring General.
ACT III: The Match Becomes a Message
Rollins isn’t rattled—he’s fired up. In a fiery promo, he lays it out:
“You were the past. I am the present. And the next sixty minutes will be a message to the future.”
Rollins says he chose the stipulation not just to beat Eddie—but to show that no one from the past can hang in his generation for a full hour.
“You’re not the first legend I’ve buried with time, Eddie. But you’ll be the most poetic.”
Eddie isn’t impressed. He stays calm, cool, cutting:
“I don’t need sixty minutes to beat you, Seth. But I’ll take every second if it means shutting you up.”
The build is rooted in competitive pride, not hate. It’s not personal—it’s legacy warfare.
One trying to preserve his dominance, the other trying to prove he still defines greatness.
ACT IV: WrestleVania 9 – Main Event Presentation
Atmosphere:
- The crowd is electric. The entire arena is wrapped in a massive digital time clock above the ring.
- Both men receive special entrances:
- Rollins in a black-and-gold robe, flanked by a gospel choir remixing his theme.
- Eddie rides in with a sleek lowrider-inspired set, stepping out in all white—calm and deadly.
-VS-
Habsrule:
IRON SHEIK VS KAMALA with handler KIM CHEE
Background story;
Iron Sheik cuts an in ring anti American promo. He says that he has cleared out every American *hawk tuah* and even every European wrestler. No one in the world can hold up to his Iranian powers. Kim Chee walks out from the backstage and Sheik stops talking. Kim Chee says that you have to search deep into the Ugandan forest to find a worthy opponent. He starts to make grunting sounds. Out walks Kamala to cheers.
KING KONG BUNDY vs MATT CARDONA
Background story;
Matt Cardona calls King Kong Bundy a fat f—k who just beats jobbers for five counts. He never beats anyone who is an anybody. Bundy then replies back with ‘at least I wasn’t a jobber who got fired and had to change my name. WWE won’t even hire you back Zack Ryder.’
BRUNO SAMMARTINO accompanied by ARNOLD SKAALAND vs RYBACK
Background story;
Sammartino takes to the ring accompanied by his manager Skaaland and issue an open challenge to any competitor. The lights go dark and Ryback’s music hits. How will the longest reigning champion do against the massive powerhouse that is Ryback?
MARK HENRY vs JOE HENDRY
Background story;
Joe Hendry is in the ring and his theme song hits;
Say his name and he appears
I believe it’s Mark Henry
I believe it’s Mark Henry
‘Cause he loves it at the buffet, the barbecue and Taco Bell
At Pizza Hut, KFC and eating sexual choc-o-late, they say
I believe it’s Mark Henry
I believe it’s Mark Henry
Wave your hands from side to side and say
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
He can bend a frying pan with his hands
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
He works up a sweat just thinking
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
Elderly women are the only ones he attracts
Oh I believe that was Mae Young
He has less charisma than my pinky toe
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
Mark Henry’s theme hits and he comes storming to the ring ready for a fight.
RANDY ORTON and BOB ORTON vs BRON BREAKKER and RICK STEINER
Background story;
Raw is airing a bunch of vignettes showcasing the famous wrestling families for weeks. It is WWEs way of honouring former stars.
After airing a Steiners vignette Bron takes to the centre of the ring with the mic. “I come from the toughest of families in the business. My dad left a wake of destruction and I’m not just continuing the legacy, I’m evolving it.”
Randy Orton’s music hits and he walks out from the back. “Kid you are just piggybacking off of your dad. My dad was a legend while all your dad did was bark like a dog!!”
Rick Steiner comes steaming out from the back and gets in Randy’s face. Steiner shoves Randy. Randy backs up and grabs a hold of Steiner. Bob Orton comes out from the back and hits Steiner over the head his a cast on his arm. Steiner drops and the Ortons go scurrying to the back. Breakker runs up the ramp and he has two options; help his dad up or chase after the Ortons. He chooses to help his father. This sets up a father / son tag team match.
R TRUTH vs SANTINO MARELLA in an I QUIT match
Background story;
R Truth is hosting a show segment called Truth TV and invites Santino Marella onto the show. The two men are in the ring joking around until Santino pulls his cobra sock from his pants. Truth is clearly scared of snakes and gets out of the ring as fast as possible.
The following week Truth is seen backstage talking to Little Jimmy. They are concocting a plan. Later on in the show Marella is having a match and Truth comes out to interrupt carrying a giant stuffed mongoose. Little Jimmy convinced Truth that a mongoose is a cobras only true enemy. When Santino sees the mongoose he automatically pulls his cobra out of his pants but the cobra is scared. Santino with his cobra sock run away in fear through the crowd.
The following week Santino is being interviewed backstage and is asked about his cobras fear of the stuffed mongoose. Santino says that he found the way to make his cobra not scared; he puts it on his hand and cobra now has a blindfold on.
Later that evening the general manager confronts those two and they start yelling at each other. Neither man is scared of the other. The match is declared an I Quit match and the only way to win is to have your opponent verbally quit.
TRISH STRATUS vs ALEXA BLISS
Background story;
Trish Status makes a triumphant return and her and Alexa Bliss form a tag team. They take all challengers and become the woman’s tag team champions. As they string together some title defences Bliss starts to refuse to tag Stratus and starts to steal pins when Stratus would go for the pin.
Stratus starts to confront Bliss in the ring during matches and Bliss walks out on Stratus mid match. Stratus ends up winning that match on her own to retain the tag championships. When the ref hands both belts over to Stratus, Bliss comes back out and rips a belt out of Stratus’s hands.
A match is set up that whoever wins gets to carry around both belts.
JAKE ROBERTS vs BRAY WYATT
Background story;
Bray Wyatt is in the middle of a match against an opponent on Raw. The lights cut and it all turns dark. The Firefly Funhouse theme starts and Bray looks to the screen.
Jake is on the screen with Damien around his shoulders. “Bray you think that you have found darkness… I’ve dined with the devil, I’ve stared in the eyes of demons and I like what I seen. You think your House of Horrors scare me…. I live in your nightmares.”
It cuts back to Firefly Funhouse. Ramblin’ Rabbit is laying on the ground, Mercy the buzzard is hiding and quivering, Abby the witch has caught on fire. The Funhouse is unravelling. Bray is in the ring holding on to his head shaking.
Over the course of the next few weeks Bray is slowing starting to unwind and hears Jake’s voice in his head. It is slowly driving him insane. Jake tells Bray that “he is just a puppet in his game.”
The match is a cinematic match that takes place at an abandoned warehouse. It’s full of snakes, fog, low lighting, many mirrors, cinema recordings on walls. Bray enters a circular room that has many mirrors, he looks at them and looking back at him has Husky Harris, Deleter of Worlds, Wyatt Family Leader, Firefly Funhouse Bray. Bray thinks that he is going insane and sees a mirror that has no reflection in it. He smashes his head into that mirror. The camera cuts to Jake and he is smirking and says “finally I have brought out the evil in you.” The Fiend emerges and starts to stalk Jake.
CHAD GABLE vs DYNAMITE KID vs KEN SHAMROCK in a triple threat match
Background story;
Chad Gable has won a bunch of matches in a row and cuts a promo how he is the best technical wrestler in the industry. No one can beat his moveset. Dynamite Kid interrupts him and says that wrestling is not all about the flippy moves and it is more about the aggression. Ken Shamrock comes out laughing and says that he “is the first ever UFC Superfight Champion. There is a reason why they call him The Worlds Most Dangerous Man.”
There is nothing fancy about the fight and just and all out brawl.
KURT ANGLE vs MACHO MAN accompanied by MISS ELIZABETH
Background story;
Raw is advertising the return of a legend for weeks. Kurt Angle is the current WWE champion and taking on all challengers. He is assuming that whatever legend returns will be his next challenger. He is being interviewed in the back and a stretch limo pulls in the background. The camera spans over to the limo. Out steps Miss Elizabeth. All of the face female wrestlers race out and hug her. They are all so excited to meet her.
The next week Macho Man’s music hits and the crowd goes wild. Out walks Macho Man?!?! It is actually Angle dressed up as Macho Man and mimicking his movements. He makes his way out to the ring to a chorus of boos.
Once he is in the ring Miss Elizabeth walks out from the back. She makes her way to the ring and Angle holds the second rope up for her to step in. Once she is in the ring Macho Man’s music hits again and out walks the real Macho Man to a massive pop. He is walking fast to the ring, pointing his finger at Angle.
Both men grab a microphone;
MM: Eeewwww yeah. You tryin’ to be the Macho Man. You tryin’ to trick my wife.
KA: She’s just interested in my Slim Jim.
MM: She will never want you Mister Milk Man. Remember that the cream always rises to the top.
Angle then opens his arms for Elizabeth to come over and embrace him. Elizabeth walks over to Angle and Macho looks really confused. Elizabeth opens her arms to embrace Angle and just as she gets to him she gets low and gives Angle a low blow. Angle drops. Elizabeth runs over to Macho and he picks her up and embraces her.
Elizabeth: He really does have a Slim Jim.
Background story;
Iron Sheik cuts an in ring anti American promo. He says that he has cleared out every American *hawk tuah* and even every European wrestler. No one in the world can hold up to his Iranian powers. Kim Chee walks out from the backstage and Sheik stops talking. Kim Chee says that you have to search deep into the Ugandan forest to find a worthy opponent. He starts to make grunting sounds. Out walks Kamala to cheers.
KING KONG BUNDY vs MATT CARDONA
Background story;
Matt Cardona calls King Kong Bundy a fat f—k who just beats jobbers for five counts. He never beats anyone who is an anybody. Bundy then replies back with ‘at least I wasn’t a jobber who got fired and had to change my name. WWE won’t even hire you back Zack Ryder.’
BRUNO SAMMARTINO accompanied by ARNOLD SKAALAND vs RYBACK
Background story;
Sammartino takes to the ring accompanied by his manager Skaaland and issue an open challenge to any competitor. The lights go dark and Ryback’s music hits. How will the longest reigning champion do against the massive powerhouse that is Ryback?
MARK HENRY vs JOE HENDRY
Background story;
Joe Hendry is in the ring and his theme song hits;
Say his name and he appears
I believe it’s Mark Henry
I believe it’s Mark Henry
‘Cause he loves it at the buffet, the barbecue and Taco Bell
At Pizza Hut, KFC and eating sexual choc-o-late, they say
I believe it’s Mark Henry
I believe it’s Mark Henry
Wave your hands from side to side and say
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
He can bend a frying pan with his hands
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
He works up a sweat just thinking
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
Elderly women are the only ones he attracts
Oh I believe that was Mae Young
He has less charisma than my pinky toe
Oh I believe it’s Mark Henry
Mark Henry’s theme hits and he comes storming to the ring ready for a fight.
RANDY ORTON and BOB ORTON vs BRON BREAKKER and RICK STEINER
Background story;
Raw is airing a bunch of vignettes showcasing the famous wrestling families for weeks. It is WWEs way of honouring former stars.
After airing a Steiners vignette Bron takes to the centre of the ring with the mic. “I come from the toughest of families in the business. My dad left a wake of destruction and I’m not just continuing the legacy, I’m evolving it.”
Randy Orton’s music hits and he walks out from the back. “Kid you are just piggybacking off of your dad. My dad was a legend while all your dad did was bark like a dog!!”
Rick Steiner comes steaming out from the back and gets in Randy’s face. Steiner shoves Randy. Randy backs up and grabs a hold of Steiner. Bob Orton comes out from the back and hits Steiner over the head his a cast on his arm. Steiner drops and the Ortons go scurrying to the back. Breakker runs up the ramp and he has two options; help his dad up or chase after the Ortons. He chooses to help his father. This sets up a father / son tag team match.
R TRUTH vs SANTINO MARELLA in an I QUIT match
Background story;
R Truth is hosting a show segment called Truth TV and invites Santino Marella onto the show. The two men are in the ring joking around until Santino pulls his cobra sock from his pants. Truth is clearly scared of snakes and gets out of the ring as fast as possible.
The following week Truth is seen backstage talking to Little Jimmy. They are concocting a plan. Later on in the show Marella is having a match and Truth comes out to interrupt carrying a giant stuffed mongoose. Little Jimmy convinced Truth that a mongoose is a cobras only true enemy. When Santino sees the mongoose he automatically pulls his cobra out of his pants but the cobra is scared. Santino with his cobra sock run away in fear through the crowd.
The following week Santino is being interviewed backstage and is asked about his cobras fear of the stuffed mongoose. Santino says that he found the way to make his cobra not scared; he puts it on his hand and cobra now has a blindfold on.
Later that evening the general manager confronts those two and they start yelling at each other. Neither man is scared of the other. The match is declared an I Quit match and the only way to win is to have your opponent verbally quit.
TRISH STRATUS vs ALEXA BLISS
Background story;
Trish Status makes a triumphant return and her and Alexa Bliss form a tag team. They take all challengers and become the woman’s tag team champions. As they string together some title defences Bliss starts to refuse to tag Stratus and starts to steal pins when Stratus would go for the pin.
Stratus starts to confront Bliss in the ring during matches and Bliss walks out on Stratus mid match. Stratus ends up winning that match on her own to retain the tag championships. When the ref hands both belts over to Stratus, Bliss comes back out and rips a belt out of Stratus’s hands.
A match is set up that whoever wins gets to carry around both belts.
JAKE ROBERTS vs BRAY WYATT
Background story;
Bray Wyatt is in the middle of a match against an opponent on Raw. The lights cut and it all turns dark. The Firefly Funhouse theme starts and Bray looks to the screen.
Jake is on the screen with Damien around his shoulders. “Bray you think that you have found darkness… I’ve dined with the devil, I’ve stared in the eyes of demons and I like what I seen. You think your House of Horrors scare me…. I live in your nightmares.”
It cuts back to Firefly Funhouse. Ramblin’ Rabbit is laying on the ground, Mercy the buzzard is hiding and quivering, Abby the witch has caught on fire. The Funhouse is unravelling. Bray is in the ring holding on to his head shaking.
Over the course of the next few weeks Bray is slowing starting to unwind and hears Jake’s voice in his head. It is slowly driving him insane. Jake tells Bray that “he is just a puppet in his game.”
The match is a cinematic match that takes place at an abandoned warehouse. It’s full of snakes, fog, low lighting, many mirrors, cinema recordings on walls. Bray enters a circular room that has many mirrors, he looks at them and looking back at him has Husky Harris, Deleter of Worlds, Wyatt Family Leader, Firefly Funhouse Bray. Bray thinks that he is going insane and sees a mirror that has no reflection in it. He smashes his head into that mirror. The camera cuts to Jake and he is smirking and says “finally I have brought out the evil in you.” The Fiend emerges and starts to stalk Jake.
CHAD GABLE vs DYNAMITE KID vs KEN SHAMROCK in a triple threat match
Background story;
Chad Gable has won a bunch of matches in a row and cuts a promo how he is the best technical wrestler in the industry. No one can beat his moveset. Dynamite Kid interrupts him and says that wrestling is not all about the flippy moves and it is more about the aggression. Ken Shamrock comes out laughing and says that he “is the first ever UFC Superfight Champion. There is a reason why they call him The Worlds Most Dangerous Man.”
There is nothing fancy about the fight and just and all out brawl.
KURT ANGLE vs MACHO MAN accompanied by MISS ELIZABETH
Background story;
Raw is advertising the return of a legend for weeks. Kurt Angle is the current WWE champion and taking on all challengers. He is assuming that whatever legend returns will be his next challenger. He is being interviewed in the back and a stretch limo pulls in the background. The camera spans over to the limo. Out steps Miss Elizabeth. All of the face female wrestlers race out and hug her. They are all so excited to meet her.
The next week Macho Man’s music hits and the crowd goes wild. Out walks Macho Man?!?! It is actually Angle dressed up as Macho Man and mimicking his movements. He makes his way out to the ring to a chorus of boos.
Once he is in the ring Miss Elizabeth walks out from the back. She makes her way to the ring and Angle holds the second rope up for her to step in. Once she is in the ring Macho Man’s music hits again and out walks the real Macho Man to a massive pop. He is walking fast to the ring, pointing his finger at Angle.
Both men grab a microphone;
MM: Eeewwww yeah. You tryin’ to be the Macho Man. You tryin’ to trick my wife.
KA: She’s just interested in my Slim Jim.
MM: She will never want you Mister Milk Man. Remember that the cream always rises to the top.
Angle then opens his arms for Elizabeth to come over and embrace him. Elizabeth walks over to Angle and Macho looks really confused. Elizabeth opens her arms to embrace Angle and just as she gets to him she gets low and gives Angle a low blow. Angle drops. Elizabeth runs over to Macho and he picks her up and embraces her.
Elizabeth: He really does have a Slim Jim.
