Happy Birthday

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

I Got a Call from my Son Jerry. He`s in Prison because he Had no place 2 Stay. So He was Beggin`g me for money So he could buy some Snack`s like Cheeto`s, Oreo`s, Dorito`s, u name it. So I Said no Problem, I Got u Bro. But I Didn`t send him any Money, I Just Want`d 2 Keep him on the Line 2 run up his Fone bill. My Son Jerry has Multiple Disease`s `n` Can`t even buy Cheeto`s now. `n` MeanWhile I`m Dinin`g out at AppleBee`s every nite, Livin`g it up. Maybe Jared Fogleman can hook u up with Some SambWitch`s in Jail, Jerry.

Hope he likes $5 foot-longs….

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

I Bail`d my Son Jerry out of Gail last night. I Invite`d him over 2 my 30 Bedroom Mansion. But the Funny thing Is, I Didn`t let him S`tay the Nite. I Promise`d him we Were goin`g 2 Wendy`s `n` then Left him out on the S`treet 2 Freeze 2 death. It was 19 DeGree`s Farrenhite `n` he had 2 Figure out how 2 get back in Jail. I Love my Son Gerry, he Mean`s the World 2 me.

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

My Neighbor Gumbus Promise`d 2 call the Cop`s on me for how I`m Treatin`g Jerry. I Said Gumbus, Wat law am i Breakin`g. He didn`t have a Clew. So i Slid in2 his Wive`s D`M`s `n` now I`m Hookin`g up with his Wive. Gumbus is such a Damb idiot.

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

Gumbus`s Wive is a Bimbo, but She`s hot as Hell, witch is all i Care about. So Gumbus can Liderally go **** himselve, Because I`m addin`g his Wive 2 my Collection. I`m Literally Takin`g her out 2 AppleBee`s 2nite, Gumbus will be All alone. `n` I Empty`d his Oil tank so his House will be Freezin`g cold, good Luck 2nite Gumbus.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Gumbus`s Wive is a Bimbo, but She`s hot as Hell, witch is all i Care about. So Gumbus can Liderally go **** himselve, Because I`m addin`g his Wive 2 my Collection. I`m Literally Takin`g her out 2 AppleBee`s 2nite, Gumbus will be All alone. `n` I Empty`d his Oil tank so his House will be Freezin`g cold, good Luck 2nite Gumbus.

Does she have nice feet??

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

When my Son Jerry was 9 Year`s old, I Gave him a Cereal Bowl Hair-Cut. The Reason Being is, Is that I Want`d him 2 get Bully`d in skewl. It`s either Bully or Get Bully`d in this World. `n` my Son Jerry Came home Every day cryin`g that His Lunch money got S`tolen. What a Loser. So I Stop`d givin`g him Lunch money sin`Ce he Couldn`t Keep it any-way. I Will Never forgive my son Jerry for Disappointin`g me, `n` now he`s in Prison.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

When my Son Jerry was 9 Year`s old, I Gave him a Cereal Bowl Hair-Cut. The Reason Being is, Is that I Want`d him 2 get Bully`d in skewl. It`s either Bully or Get Bully`d in this World. `n` my Son Jerry Came home Every day cryin`g that His Lunch money got S`tolen. What a Loser. So I Stop`d givin`g him Lunch money sin`Ce he Couldn`t Keep it any-way. I Will Never forgive my son Jerry for Disappointin`g me, `n` now he`s in Prison.

Figures. Now he’ll need to resort to having to do “stuff” in exchange for protection.

Congrats…you raised a wimpy prison bitch with a bad haircut.

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

Where did the year`s go. I am 99 Now. My Heart will fail any day now. But 1 thing i Learned through it all, u can never have 2 much cake. I`ve eaten over 30 cake`s in my life. It`s not enuff. It`s never enuff. U can eat all the cake u want, it won`t matter. My friend Tyler Ferguson pass`d away recently, his bigges`t regret was not enuff cake. He will never get those year`s back.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

STFU

 

[HisIceness]

Where did the year`s go. I am 99 Now. My Heart will fail any day now. But 1 thing i Learned through it all, u can never have 2 much cake. I`ve eaten over 30 cake`s in my life. It`s not enuff. It`s never enuff. U can eat all the cake u want, it won`t matter. My friend Tyler Ferguson pass`d away recently, his bigges`t regret was not enuff cake. He will never get those year`s back.

Stop lying, no 99 year old on planet earth has a friend named Tyler.

 

[Conrad McBenis]

Happy birthday!

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

I am 99 year`s old. My heart will fail any day now. If i may offer a piece of advice in my old age. Witch would be to lick a lot of feet. Lick every foot u can. There is an old saying. One day u will lick a foot. And that will be the last foot u ever lick. Really put`s it in perspective. Happy Birthday.

 

[Honour Over Glory]

I`m 99 Year`s Young today, My Grandson Brought me a Cake `n` I Said, I Haven`t had 1 of these in Year`s!



I`m 99 year`s Young 2day, Enjoy You`re Year`s while u Have them, Because you`ll never Get any YounGer!

So you copy and paste bad jokes from the net.

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

We were Hooting and Hollering. U have never seen so much Laffter. We had snack`s in the Kitchen. We almost forgot the cake!!! We played musical Chair`s, Gobble Gobble! Happy 99 Year`s, from my Fambly to Your`s.

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

My son Pilgrim mean`s the world to me, he play`s for the Miami Goblin`s. I would put him right up there with Viviana de la Rosa. They say u shouldn`t play favourite`s with your kid`s, that is a Load of crap. Because some kid`s are clearly better then other`s. I mean how many parent`s can say their kid play`s for the Goblin`s, Pilgrim is a Beast. My son Jerry never accomplished anything, he is a Loser who disappoint`s me every single day.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Off your meds again I see…

 

[Pip]

Happy birthday @Zaiden Shogun

 

[Jiminy Cricket]

I am 99 year`s old today. I am not as sharp as i used to be. I will not make it to 100. For my 99th birthday, My grandson Jemimah will be driving me to Walmart in his Mustang Convertible. We will loot all the D.V.D.`s `n` then take a shit in the middle of the store. There is nothing like a Shoplift & Shit @ walmart, Enjoy every year u have.