Getting emotional, vulnerable, and existential, if I may.

[JimmyG89]

Note: very long post

I feel like this at times too, maybe not to the same extent, but it definitely can mess with you mentally because there is no control. In the end, it's the moments you get to share with others that need to stand out and come to the forefront.

Having never witnessed one of my teams win it all, you remember the heartbreak and how awful you feel after the fact, but you're not alone in that feeling. Maybe you do end up feeling that way for a longer time, but we're all feeling it at least in the immediate.

I think part of this is wanting to have that moment with those you care about the most. As I've gotten older, it's become less about the fact they didn't get it done, but that when they do get it done (or not), I know exactly where and who I want to be with when those things can happen. I hope you have a similar situation where you can share this with others close to you.

I know for a fact that I want to be with my father when the Mets win a World Series. It's more thinking about that than anything else. It washes away disappointment or resentment toward anything that's happened, at least for me.

At one point in my life, all I wanted to do was go to a Mets game with my father. Would it have been great if they won? Sure, but just wanting to go and be there was more important. It's about getting back to that and harnessing those thoughts and those emotions that help with any disappointment or resentment that you feel to the current version of the team.

For the Rangers, it's my closest friend and his father. I was his best man 2 years ago. Its a second family. We were close in 2014 and all three of us would have been in the building. Thinking about how we went to Game 4 against LA down 3-0. We felt like shit the entire time, even during the game itself, because you knew it deep down that this was it, whether it was that night or two nights from then. I look back at that game fondly now. The Rangers played in the cup final, and they won a game that I got to see, and who I got to see it with.

I really hope you can find peace in this regard. We're all passionate fans. We're the exact definition of a fan, a fanatic. We're irrational, overcomitted, and unrelenting in wanting to see that end goal, but remembering the good and who you got to celebrate it with is the real endgame as a fan. Think more about how amazing it will be if it happens and not because it happened, but who you get to have a "I'll never forget the night they finally did it" time with.

 

[Whoot Whoot]

I feel ya brother/sister - get yourself a good book or podcast - so many options . It’s rough to see this

 

[I Eat Crow]

Get married and have kids. Granted, the agita comes from different sources, but I can count the number of games I've watched from start to finish this season on my hands. Tonight was one of them.

 

[Megustaelhockey]

Get married and have kids. Granted, the agita comes from different sources, but I can count the number of games I've watched from start to finish this season on my hands. Tonight was one of them.

It was possible for me to have kids, I guess, but I enjoy money, sex, travel, and peace and quiet too much to ever have any of my own. I'm happy to spoil my brothers' kids, though. Caffeine, candy, and toys that make lots of noise.

 

[jerseyjinx94]

I’m convinced this team will never win again in my lifetime. I was 8 when they won so I don’t really count it

 

[Megustaelhockey]

There are just too many teams and too much money in the league now. The age of dynasties and piling up championships is over. Fans are lucky to see more than one championship. We have to find fulfillment in something other than sports.

 

[TGWL]

41 here but I won't be thinking about NYR on my deathbed. Yes, I feel that I will never see them win another cup, and although I saw 94, I don't think I enjoyed it when it happened as much as I would enjoy it now.

I still have some video games to look forward to so that will help with no post season NYR hockey. I play hockey a couple times of week still, but I'm sure when that's eventually gone i'll be a little grumpy. I consider myself a big NYR fan, but I am not the type that lives, eats, and breathes NYR. I don't need my man cave and life built around NYR. I think I would consider myself a bigger hockey fan than just a NYR fan.

We're all getting older and it's a bit depressing when you think about how many years this organization wasted or how many years you view them as being far off from returning to actual threats. But in the end there's more important things in life... like great beer and bourbon...

 

[Jack Hanson]

I get emotionally vested in the Rangers and all my sports teams I like. With the Rangers though, and this starts from Dolan, it seems they know they have a cash cow and they're going to milk that cow. In a broad sense, I am to them a cow and they wish to milk me. As such a cow though, I enjoy my freedom and I say, no, I will go and be milked by Steve Cohen and the Mets or by SSC Napoli and Aurelio De Laurentiis because they treat me better. They give me better fields to graze in and cleaner hay and a nicer barn to rest in. I just watch the Rangers from afar, possibly letting them milk me if they make the playoffs other than that I hang out with my other skeptical cows watching from neighboring fields and tell Dolan no thank you, not today.

Dolan trying to catch me but unsuccesful:

 

[Captain Monglobster]

I invest the same amount of emotion the team does so this season I had zero investment. Life is more than sports. At this point in my fandom (39 y/o), I only seriously get emotional for playoff games.

 

[Glen Sathers Cigar]

Way too much of my physical, mental, and emotional health is reliant upon the performance of this team.

There are times where I feel amazing in life simply because the Rangers have been doing well. At the same time, there are times where my life is good, but I feel like shit because the Rangers suck.

I was raised a diehard fan, and I have issues with hyper-fixation in which I am super invested in one particular thing in my life and it consumes me. Most of the time, this fixation has been the Rangers.

Is anybody else here in their 30s and getting to the point where they think they may never (in a conscious capacity) witness a Stanley Cup?

Even worse, does anyone else here feel like they’ll be thinking about the Rangers never winning a Cup on their f***ing death bed?

I’m fully aware of the fact that sports isn’t everything, or even that important at all. But at the same time, it’s really hard to invest decades of yourself into an entity and receive nothing but pain in return.

If anyone can relate, I’d appreciate some input.

I'm 35 and also care way too much about the Rangers and let them dictate my emotional state far too often. Every summer I tell myself I'm going to try and take a step back, try and find something else to invest my time and energy in, but I never do. Following the Rangers closely is basically my only hobby/interest that I actually care about.

 

[Bob Richards]

The NHL99 intro movie is what got me into hockey.

Man they absolutely killed it with that intro. It was so f***ing good.

 

[Graves97]

I was 8 when they won in '94 and have some vague memories of it and being excited, mostly because my mom and dad were excited and cheering the team on. I still remember watching Game 7 because my parents let me stay up with them to watch it but truthfully, it was more of an "oh that's good" moment rather than actually being exciting. My first real hockey memories are probably from the '96-97 season after they signed Gretzky and being absolutely devastates when they lost to the Flyers in the ECF. That was followed by a decade of utter frustration (Dark Age's) when the moniker of them being a country club team really took hold. I would consider myself a diehard fan during this time and would take every loss like a close family member had died.

The lockout though really forced me to take a step back and reconsider how much I let this affect my mental health. I came to the conclusion that I likely cared more about the team than a number of the players and other individuals directly involved with the team. I also realized if the team were to ever win, I would experience a short lived jubilation, but ultimately it would have zero bearing on my life and overall well-being. Realizing this really helped me quite a bit as even though I will still become frustrated with the team in the moment, I won't allow it to carryover following the game as life goes on.

 

[nyrage]

I'm 58. I can remember listening to and watching the Rangers since I was 4 years old. I played hockey since about age 8 to about 48. Hockey is my favorite sport and it's ingrained in me.

When the Rangers won the Cup in 1994, I would easily say this was one of the best moments in my life. Celebrating that night at the Garden with fellow Rangers fans and rolling into work straight from partying all night is something I will never forget.

That said, as I've gotten older (probably in my 50s) I've learned to shake off the losses and disappointments. It used to put me in a funk all week long. I'm also a Jets, Mets, and Knicks fan. Even being used to losing and disappointment, I would let it affect my mood. I would feel angry or sad for days. It probably also had an impact on the people around me.

Now, as soon as the Rangers lose in the playoffs, somehow, I detach. I might be mad or upset during the game, but as soon as it's over, I don't let it impact my feelings anymore. I tell myself: It's not me that lost, just the team that I root for. It wasn't my lack of effort. It's not my failure.

As much as this team irritates me for lack of effort for 2.5-3 hours, as soon the game is over, it's over for me. I'm not letting them affect how I feel. I don't know. Maybe if they ever win again, it won't be the same high as in 94. I suspect not.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

This almost reads like it's about me. I will say this, my mood fluctuating with the teams' wins is why my stance is so strong against an NHL rebuild (NFL is a bit of a different story for many reasons). I'd rather witness a 114 point season and 4 disappointing games in late May after winning two rounds than watching a dog shit product for 5+ years HOPING to get a 114 point season where I don't watch 4 disappointing games at the end. I don't value cups as much as winning and to me winning is everything from regular season on. In hockey I have a very utalitirian approach to the sport. I rather watch a team never win a cup but compete at a high level for 10 seasons than a team be bottom of the barrel for 5 but with a bit higher chance of winning in the next 5. I treat sports like a math equation. I think on some level if I were to quantify the happiness of many Rangers fans I think 10 seasons of high level would actually overall be higher than bottom of the barrel for 5 and then be the Oilers, Stars, or if lucky the Avs or Knights for 5 years.

 

[leetch99]

One thing that helped me a lot was experimenting with other sports and getting into different teams.

Granted, you can't make that happen or it's not the same, but I find that I'm more passionate about the teams I naturally started to like than the ones I was brainwashed into liking.

If it's a hyper-fixation thing, you absolutely cannot rely on the Rangers. That's the reality.

Even if it's not sports, you have to find other outlets, because yeah, this is probably what the Rangers are and I don't see them changing.

Best to have lots of women friends to drink and party with for a few years if you are a young Ranger fan.....it will and has eased the pain of it all . You might have to tell some you love them.....but the weekends will go faster !

 

[Peltz]

I popped back in here just to see what folks are saying about the team. But I gotta be honest, I stopped watching months ago because of how emotionally taxing it was. I feel happier and my mental health was more important. After they traded Kakko, I maybe watched like... 6 games sporadically throughout the rest of the season. I just really hated the trade and decided I was basically done for now. The expensive Shesterkin extension also factored heavily into my decision.

Does this make me a less "die hard" fan? Perhaps. But I'd rather watch at a distance and be a happy casual fan than a miserable die hard fan. Life is too short.

I'm here to tell you that and I will repeat it because it bears repeating:

It TRULY is okay to put distance between yourself and watching hockey and this team.

Casually watching doesn't make you "less than" despite what some folks would have you believe. Treat watching them as a form of entertainment - nothing more, nothing less. If you're not enjoying it, then why do it to yourself?

It's like Star Wars nerds that rage because of the direction of the latest films. Is it worth getting upset about? Or are you better off investing your time and money in something that actually brings you happiness?

Don't wrap your identity up in something as silly as hockey. It's a fun shared experience when the team is building towards a bright future, like they have been since 2019-2020. I've caught 95% of the game since that season until this year, even when they weren't making the playoffs.

It's another thing entirely when the on-ice product has become stale and dysfunctional like it is this year... and then Drury doubled down on it by trading youth for vets.

If he makes good trades over the summer, maybe I'll come back and watch all of the games. But otherwise I'm cool being a Ranger fan than tunes in sporadically for the next season or two.

 

[Homelander]

Gotta focus on little victories...or at least hope. I look at the micro instead of the macro. Look at the short-term instead of the bigger picture.

Firing Drury would give me immense pleasure. The idea of that weasel, incompetent f*** embedded in this organization makes me sick.

A good free agent signing and a promising draft pick give me hope (even though they'll inevitably flame out like all the others)

And wins during the regular season give me excitement and optimism...even if it means nothing in the end.

 

[Homelander]

I invest the same amount of emotion the team does so this season I had zero investment. Life is more than sports. At this point in my fandom (39 y/o), I only seriously get emotional for playoff games.

To paraphrase: "You think Mickey Mantle gives a shit about you?"

 

[markymarc1215]

The NHL99 intro movie is what got me into hockey. I played FIFA. Then NBA. And then I found NHL. Haven't looked back. And that's coming from a non-Canadian foreigner growing up in Miami.

Arguably the best soundtrack for an EA sports game as well. Back when the music was made in-house.

 

[CasusBelli]

Man they absolutely killed it with that intro. It was so f***ing good.

“Great save, Joseph!”

 

[Roo Returns]

My uncles were really into hockey and it was all over the place growing up especially the Rangers-Islanders rivalry, but I got into the Rangers in the late-80s and they really connected with me instantly. Kind of became my team. I love the Giants, Mets, Knicks, etc. but the Rangers is like my thing so I take it very seriously. It's also part escape for me being a partial introvert and hating cold weather (the older I get, the less I like to go out in the winter other than office days, and because I don't go to nearly as many concerts anymore with bands becoming more concerned about politics... in the summer I'm out 24/7 at every social event etc.).

I'm not married and I've had some really difficult relationships and also times I've fallen head over heels for people so the Rangers was always my "screw it, I'm just gonna watch the game" or "I'm sad and thinking about her but I'll be ok, I'm just gonna watch the Rangers."

I still get very bitter at them and really just want to see another few championships in my lifetime. One for all the friends parents who drove us to concerts/airports/etc growing up, but also how NYC has been in a major funk the last decade plus (even more so the last two + years) and something like the Rangers winning would totally give everyone some happiness. Plus it's frustuating watching DC/Philly/Boston win all the championships the last 7-8 years.

When they won in 1994 it was a relief but also "cool, they did it, they've been good, why not?" because I had missed the Sator/Esposito stuff and under Neilson and Keenan they were always contenders.

I went to the Sam Tribute game vs. Vancouver a few weeks back and because the ticket was through Tikcketmaster Exchange, I got a call from a rep trying to sell me tickets. Without cursing I told him "you guys traded Mancini, I loved him. You guys mess up draft picks, don't bother me until you and that blues singer owner get your head out of your behinds."

So yeah, I'm very sour over this season and Mancini being traded, and I also know while my career is doing pretty good, I gotta work on my personal life and deal with the state of the world which I'm not happy about and the dating rejection sooner rather than later. I have a lot of bitterness and the instagram and social media is terrible and all over my text messages.

I always hope that the Rangers can somehow at some point become the Boston Red Sox/have New York Giants 1990-2012 luck and after the centennial win some championships again, for all of us.

 

[NYRFAN218]

37 y/o here, can certainly relate to the Rangers being my hyperfixation for most of my childhood and adolescence and having my happiness hinge on the team's success. After a couple decades of intensely identifying as a Rangers fan, I was just exhausted from how entangled I made myself with something that I had no part of. I would've been one of those nerds on the MSG commercials writing songs about how much I love the Rangers and teaching my non-existent son about how we hate the Devils and how important King Henrik was. Once it really sank in that I had no part in/influence on the team and was coupled with the old saying "The team doesn't pay my bills," I took a step back and remembered that hockey is a game. It's purely entertainment.

Looking back through the Rangers "storied history" and all I'd ever see was a bunch of almosts and a whole lot of nothing. 4 Cups in 100+ years, 3 with 6 teams in the league. The futility of being a Rangers fan really hits when teams like PIT/LA/TB/CHI are winning back to back Cups, multiple Cups in 10 year periods, dynasty level teams existing for 10-15 years just running roughshod across everyone. I realized if I wanted to be a relatively normal human, I absolutely could not allow anything in my personal life to be effected by something the Rangers do or don't do.

I started "allowing" myself to not watch games if I wasn't in the mood and remembering that not watching games didn't matter. It didn't make me less of a fan than someone who did watch. I started reminding myself that if my entertainment was not entertaining me, it's ok to do something else that is entertaining or fun to engage with. I didn't have to force myself to engage with something that wasn't entertaining to show some random person how loyal I was to *my favorite team*.

I think for most people, a lot of it has to do with nostalgia. I started watching in 1993 when I was 6 with my dad and my brother and it was a bonding thing, so the hyperfixation stemmed from that. By the time I was like 12, both my dad and brother didn't give a shit about hockey or the Rangers at all, but I felt that I HAD to keep being a hyperfan because..reasons? I didn't want to or couldn't let go of something I so strongly identified with. Being a Rangers fan was absolutely part of my personality. And that evolved into being happy when NYR won and despondent when they lost. And I think it was fine when I was a teen, but it's not a good way to operate as an adult.

Anyway, TLDR is tap into some other hobbies and outlets. There's so much more out there.

This is a good way of putting it. For me, I love the Rangers and they're my #1 hobby/interest. I put hours upon hours into reading these boards, attending games (hell I've seen the Rangers play in every arena except Western Canada and Utah), watching games, following conversations, etc. I have a great memorabilia collection of game used stuff, I follow all the accounts on Twitter, have tons of gear. When I was younger (teens), I would literally lock myself in a room during an important game to not be bothered or interrupted. I couldn't watch a game with anyone. As I've gotten older though, I think my priorities have changed as well as overall interest. This isn't to say I don't love the team or care "less" about their success per se but I'm okay with missing games as opposed to when I was in my teens and even 20's where I would cancel plans or avoid plans to watch them play the Oilers in November. I would try and go to as many games as humanly possible and now I don't have the drive to do that nor the interest. A lot of it is my own personal situation with job, soon to be wife, dog, house, money and all that but I think as you get older, you start to put everything into perspective. Not every game is do or die and I almost forget the result of a game as soon as I change the channel.

There's a good chance this team will never win a Stanley Cup. Sadly I've come to accept that (I think last year broke me in that regard and pushed me over the cliff but I digress.) But at the end of the day, it'll all be alright and as OP also admits, it's just hockey and a game. Looking into other hobbies and outlets is definitely what I'd recommend. The Mets are basically my 1B and it's such a refreshing sport to change to in the spring/summer where it's more casual, you don't have to watch every game or latch onto every pitch, can check in on the game while doing other things. It's like a cool down of sorts from such an intense sport.

I'm not going to tell OP what the best route here is but definitely other hobbies will help and acknowledging the hyperfixation is important. I've definitely been guilty of it myself.

 

[noncents]

My uncles were really into hockey and it was all over the place growing up especially the Rangers-Islanders rivalry, but I got into the Rangers in the late-80s and they really connected with me instantly. Kind of became my team. I love the Giants, Mets, Knicks, etc. but the Rangers is like my thing so I take it very seriously. It's also part escape for me being a partial introvert and hating cold weather (the older I get, the less I like to go out in the winter other than office days, and because I don't go to nearly as many concerts anymore with bands becoming more concerned about politics... in the summer I'm out 24/7 at every social event etc.).

I'm not married and I've had some really difficult relationships and also times I've fallen head over heels for people so the Rangers was always my "screw it, I'm just gonna watch the game" or "I'm sad and thinking about her but I'll be ok, I'm just gonna watch the Rangers."

I still get very bitter at them and really just want to see another few championships in my lifetime. One for all the friends parents who drove us to concerts/airports/etc growing up, but also how NYC has been in a major funk the last decade plus (even more so the last two + years) and something like the Rangers winning would totally give everyone some happiness. Plus it's frustuating watching DC/Philly/Boston win all the championships the last 7-8 years.

When they won in 1994 it was a relief but also "cool, they did it, they've been good, why not?" because I had missed the Sator/Esposito stuff and under Neilson and Keenan they were always contenders.

I went to the Sam Tribute game vs. Vancouver a few weeks back and because the ticket was through Tikcketmaster Exchange, I got a call from a rep trying to sell me tickets. Without cursing I told him "you guys traded Mancini, I loved him. You guys mess up draft picks, don't bother me until you and that blues singer owner get your head out of your behinds."

So yeah, I'm very sour over this season and Mancini being traded, and I also know while my career is doing pretty good, I gotta work on my personal life and deal with the state of the world which I'm not happy about and the dating rejection sooner rather than later. I have a lot of bitterness and the instagram and social media is terrible and all over my text messages.

I always hope that the Rangers can somehow at some point become the Boston Red Sox/have New York Giants 1990-2012 luck and after the centennial win some championships again, for all of us.

mancini? victor mancini?

 

[Kupo]

If things are getting too hard, remember, you can always become a crack head.

 

[Peltz]

I went to the Sam Tribute game vs. Vancouver a few weeks back and because the ticket was through Tikcketmaster Exchange, I got a call from a rep trying to sell me tickets. Without cursing I told him "you guys traded Mancini, I loved him. You guys mess up draft picks, don't bother me until you and that blues singer owner get your head out of your behinds."

I'm pretty sure the dude selling you tickets is not connected to the front office decisions and is likely some guy who barely even knows what's going on with the players.