Game misconduct for not shaking refs hand

[GarbageGoal]

You left the part out about "Not a ****ing chance" first time. So it appears the people suspicious we weren't getting the whole story had a right to be.

 

[Frank Drebin]

Leave it on the ice, be a man and shake his *** hand. You sound like a punk.

 

[KingKopi11]

You left the part out about "Not a ****ing chance" first time. So it appears the people suspicious we weren't getting the whole story had a right to be.

I honestly didn't think those 4 words would even be CLOSE to qualifying as suspendable offence. When I think of comments that would warrant that kind of call, they ran along the lines of actual verbal abuse. You know, like threatening the guy or chirping him about his calls.

 

[Crosbyfan]

I honestly didn't think those 4 words would even be CLOSE to qualifying as suspendable offence. When I think of comments that would warrant that kind of call, they ran along the lines of actual verbal abuse. You know, like threatening the guy or chirping him about his calls.

I've seen suspensions for less, and none, not even misconducts, for much more.

It's just something you have to realize you need to stay away from, if for nothing other than the fact it is almost completely up to the refs discretion, and you are exposing yourself to that. It is fair game to complain to the league if you think he has it in for you and it is flagrant and obvious bias against you...though if it works you probably won't even know it.

Let someone else put him in his place. Don't be "that guy" with any form of abuse...if anything it makes the ref seem more reasonable than it would otherwise. Suck it up on the ice and complain after...24 hour rule probably applies.(often easier said than done)

 

[Bear of Bad News]

I honestly didn't think those 4 words would even be CLOSE to qualifying as suspendable offence. When I think of comments that would warrant that kind of call, they ran along the lines of actual verbal abuse. You know, like threatening the guy or chirping him about his calls.

My guess is that there's *still* something you aren't telling us - either deliberately, or because you did something that you don't have a problem with but that 99% of us would.

 

[mbhhofr]

Let someone else put him in his place.

And just what is his place?

I gave a high school player a game misconduct for something that he said to me after the game was over and he received a one game suspension. When I told the coach about the penalty and what he said, he had his player up against the wall and was reading him the Riot Act before they entered the dressing room.

I'm still waiting to be put in my place.

 

[KingKopi11]

My guess is that there's *still* something you aren't telling us - either deliberately, or because you did something that you don't have a problem with but that 99% of us would.

What do you want, a detailed play by play report of my entire season? I've explained the situation as much as I can. Had there been more that happened I wouldn't be on this forum asking for opinions about it.

 

[Auston Marlander]

What do you want, a detailed play by play report of my entire season? I've explained the situation as much as I can. Had there been more that happened I wouldn't be on this forum asking for opinions about it.

I mean you were clearly in the wrong and deserve what you got. What do you expect? You acted like a child towards someone who was probably a bit unfair to you.

Grow up, be a man, take responsibility for you actions and move on.

 

[UnrefinedCrude]

Even from just reading your side of the story, which is clearly skewed in your favour through omission, I have a hard time thinking this is anything but 100% your fault.

Even in your version you come off as the jerk.

You even had a chance to be civil, and shake the guy's hand. Not a lot of players do this, you could have shown the guy some respect. This could have helped with his perception of you, if he thinks you are disrespectful or something. Instead you shook the other official's hand and made a point of embarrassing the other guy, and getting under his skin.

Then you make vague threats about him.

you sound like the kind of guy who ruins everyone else's hockey experiences, from what you have presented in this thread about this issue. I mean, if the league president is on your team and doesn't want to have your back, and you have to pester him, maybe you should look at why this is.

Seems like a "you" problem. not a "him" problem.

 

[STC]

And just what is his place?

I gave a high school player a game misconduct for something that he said to me after the game was over and he received a one game suspension. When I told the coach about the penalty and what he said, he had his player up against the wall and was reading him the Riot Act before they entered the dressing room.

I'm still waiting to be put in my place.

Cool story, but has absolutely no relevance to the situation at hand.

 

[STC]

some of you guys are being way too hard on the OP. He definitely was asking for and got the misconduct he received, but everyone is overlooking the very real possibility that there is a ref out there who goes out of his way to make life miserable for the OP. I don't think its beyond the realm of possibility that there's a ref who is so upset that the OP is sandbagging it in a lower league that he makes it his purpose in life to teach the OP a lesson.

IF that's really what is going on then the OP has every right to be upset at the ref despite his poor way of showing it.

 

[Hagged]

some of you guys are being way too hard on the OP.

It just seems more likely the OP has acted immaturely, diving all over the ice worthy of penalties and lastly verbally abused the official. How likely the "not a ****ing chance" was the only discussion the two had considering the league president thought it would be better to let it go.

 

[Bear of Bad News]

some of you guys are being way too hard on the OP. He definitely was asking for and got the misconduct he received, but everyone is overlooking the very real possibility that there is a ref out there who goes out of his way to make life miserable for the OP. I don't think its beyond the realm of possibility that there's a ref who is so upset that the OP is sandbagging it in a lower league that he makes it his purpose in life to teach the OP a lesson.

IF that's really what is going on then the OP has every right to be upset at the ref despite his poor way of showing it.

Sure - if that's really what's going on, then the OP was put in a bad situation (and I still disagree with how he handled it).

However, the ever-evolving story doesn't give me a lot of comfort in that possibility.

 

[KingKopi11]

You even had a chance to be civil, and shake the guy's hand. Not a lot of players do this, you could have shown the guy some respect. This could have helped with his perception of you, if he thinks you are disrespectful or something. Instead you shook the other official's hand and made a point of embarrassing the other guy, and getting under his skin.

Then you make vague threats about him.

On what planet do you think "not a f'ing chance" is considered a threat? Lol Get real buddy you sound like a drama queen. Like I said in my first post, the ref has been hard on me all year and I have shaken his hand after games plenty of times out of respect and to show no hard feelings, yet it hasn't helped at all to change his mindset. At this point, what i did is about as much civility as he deserves.

It just seems more likely the OP has acted immaturely, diving all over the ice worthy of penalties and lastly verbally abused the official. How likely the "not a ****ing chance" was the only discussion the two had considering the league president thought it would be better to let it go.

I actually take offence to even being considered a diver. I play hard and get under peoples skin because of it, and diving is not a part of my game. I didn't even do that when i played soccer.

After the missed handshake and comment I made, he immediately said "that's a game". At that point I didn't even turn around to look at him, because I knew he was looking for any excuse to add more. So yea, that was the ONLY discussion that went on between us. If you go back and read the full thread again, you'll see i mentioned that the ref had been removed from officiating any more games this season. You think that was the result of his top notch officiating? The president did sympathize with the way i was getting called on the ice, but he also has a job to do and still had to suspend me because what I did was a suspendable offence, regardless of what ref it was.

Sure - if that's really what's going on, then the OP was put in a bad situation (and I still disagree with how he handled it).

However, the ever-evolving story doesn't give me a lot of comfort in that possibility.

Look, I didn't come on here to write some fairy tale for my own entertainment. Why would i consult a forum on a scenario that I already thought wasn't in my favor? After seeing everybody's input on the situation I am fully aware that I was in the wrong, lesson learned. At the start of this thread i honestly felt like i was in the right, and had forgotten that I'd even made that comment until it was quoted by the president in the email he sent me. Obviously that detail was a lot more important than I had realized, but things are getting blown way out of proportion here.

 

[10coach*]

So this is a bit of a rant but I'd also like people's opinions on how they feel this should be dealt with. First, a little background on myself and the beer league I play in. The league is split into 2 divisions: A Division which is full of long time players and ex junior players, and B Division, which is also called "Rookie League". It consists of guys who are just starting out, to much better players who just want to be in a super casual atmosphere. This is my second season playing hockey and I'm in the B division, but also spare for teams in A when I get the opportunity.

So here is my situation. Throughout the season I've had a lot of issues with this one ref in rookie league (let's just call him "Jackass") that has a serious grudge against me. His reasons for being so biased are beyond me and the only thing I can think of is that he feels I should be playing in A Div, and thus officiates as though I am the "fox in the hen house" so to speak.

Literally every game he puts me in the box, and I do my best to actually ease off on my competitivness when he's on the ice, but tonight was absolutely brutal. First he called me for a dive that I 100% got tripped on. I do NOT fall down to draw calls and he knows im a strong skater. Then there were two more incidents when I got blatantly hooked/tripped right in front of him and still no call. Had roles been reversed I would have been put in the box without hesitation. Anyways, I held my tongue and didn't abuse him in any way, but definitely felt slighted to the point where it actually ruined the game for me. So here is where the suspension comes in...

At the end of every game the two teams shake hands and then have the option to skate over and shake the refs hands, the key word there being OPTIONAL. I'm not one to be a poor sport and always shake refs hands at the end. At this point though I have completely lost respect for Jackass, but I still intended to shake hands with other one who I had no problem with, so I did exactly that. Well turns out Jackass didn't like that and gave me a game misconduct for "unsportsmanlike conduct" which results in a 1 game suspension. This not only screws me for my playoff game next week, but also the 2 or 3 A Div playoff games I was scheduled to be in during the week as well, since you can't play in either divs while you are suspended.

The irony of all this is the league president plays on my team, and sees first hand the way that ref acts towards me, but claims I can't dispute the suspension because it happened after the game was over. No where in rules does it say it's unsportsmanlike conduct to refuse to shake a refs hand, because as I said, it's completely optional. Do I have any grounds to cause a ruckus about this? Or should I just accept it and essentially be done for the season...?

I'm sure this isn't the full story and no ref cares what league you are in and if it is the proper skill level.

 

[STC]

I'm sure this isn't the full story and no ref cares what league you are in and if it is the proper skill level.

That's not true at all. I've seen/heard several refs make comments to players over the years about how they are too good to be playing in the league they are in. I've definitely seen that translate to calls going against those players as well.

There are bad refs out there, people who are not just bad at seeing the play, but also people who have agendas and take it upon themselves to further that agenda at the expense of doing their job properly.

Regarding the OP, the fact that the ref has apparently been removed from the league is a pretty telling sign that that is the kind of ref we are talking about.

 

[Auston Marlander]

That's not true at all. I've seen/heard several refs make comments to players over the years about how they are too good to be playing in the league they are in. I've definitely seen that translate to calls going against those players as well.

There are bad refs out there, people who are not just bad at seeing the play, but also people who have agendas and take it upon themselves to further that agenda at the expense of doing their job properly.

Regarding the OP, the fact that the ref has apparently been removed from the league is a pretty telling sign that that is the kind of ref we are talking about.

It is true, I've had refs say it to me, you accept it and play through it. I don't get any boarder line calls going my way, but that's life.

I would be cautious taking much the OP says with more than a grain of salt. We got a big tale painting him in a good light, but in reality he was just leaving items out.

 

[10coach*]

That's not true at all. I've seen/heard several refs make comments to players over the years about how they are too good to be playing in the league they are in. I've definitely seen that translate to calls going against those players as well.

There are bad refs out there, people who are not just bad at seeing the play, but also people who have agendas and take it upon themselves to further that agenda at the expense of doing their job properly.

Regarding the OP, the fact that the ref has apparently been removed from the league is a pretty telling sign that that is the kind of ref we are talking about.

should have said any decent ref. You guys get bottom of the barrel refs in beer league in hockey hotbeds and the refs that are in non traditional markets are usually just plain bad.

 

[maplehawk]

so you both said and did something unsportsmanlike, received a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct, and are now upset.

what am i missing?

 

[MeHateHe]

From a referee's perspective:

First, yup, I would have given you a game too, because what you did was unsportsmanlike. Disagree with a referee? Ask the question. If you ask a polite question, you will usually get a polite answer. If you don't get a polite answer to a polite question, then you have a rationale to complain.

Speaking from copious personal experience, I can tell you that referees make mistakes, but most players who think that referees are out to get them either have a guilty conscience or a greatly inflated sense of themselves. Like, my life is complicated enough that I don't spend a lot of time worrying about player X, Y or Z. So maybe there's something to be learned from speaking like an adult to another adult.

Second, with very few exceptions, most beer league hockey isn't played under the aegis of Hockey Canada. So please don't bother Hockey Canada about your beer league suspensions. They have more important things to deal with.

 

[iamjs]

I got an email back from the league president and confirmed the suspension will be upheld due to the verbal comment I made during the hand shake. When the ref went to extend his hand I said "not a ****ing chance" and pulled my hand away, and apparently under the rules of Hockey Canada, that qualifies as unsportsmanlike conduct. They sure had to dig into the books to uphold that call...

He did acknowledge that there is some sort of conflict between myself an that ref and suggested we set up a meeting to resolve things. Ya f***ing right! It's well beyond that point, my playoffs are already ruined. I will see the ref next season when I join A Div where he actually plays on a team. That bird cage he wears isn't going to save him either.

"not a ****ing chance" that this is overturned.

That bird cage isn't going to save him either? If you're upset about sitting for one playoff game, imagine how upset you'll be once the league suspends you for a season or bans you for a fight.

He's in your head, and apparently has been there for awhile. If you're playing against him next year in A Div, then get in his head.

 

[cujoflutie]

is it actually confirmed your game misconduct was for refusing to shake hands? Because if not than I'd say it is justified by you using profanity. This referee could have been the worst in the league and probably is, that does not give you the right to use foul language at them and the fact that you didn't tell us you said that until midway through the thread leaves me to wonder what else you're not telling us

 

[Big Papi]

is it actually confirmed your game misconduct was for refusing to shake hands? Because if not than I'd say it is justified by you using profanity. This referee could have been the worst in the league and probably is, that does not give you the right to use foul language at them and the fact that you didn't tell us you said that until midway through the thread leaves me to wonder what else you're not telling us

This is an adult league, if thats all he said then it is not a suspendable act, maybe a unsportsmanlike penalty, but sounds like the ref was power tripping.

Why are people jumping in the OP? If you think the OP was in the wrong fine, but Calling him a diver? Give him a little credit.

 

[cujoflutie]

This is an adult league, if thats all he said then it is not a suspendable act, maybe a unsportsmanlike penalty, but sounds like the ref was power tripping.

Why are people jumping in the OP? If you think the OP was in the wrong fine, but Calling him a diver? Give him a little credit.

I'd agree with the diving statement (he got a diving penalty by a ref with a vendetta) but Here is where the OP looks bad; initially he comes saying he got a game misconduct for refusing to shake the refs hand. Then later comes and leaks that he also cursed at the ref (which may well be the reason for the misconduct) then even later makes a borderline threat against the individual next year revealing that he’s not the saint he painted himself out to be. So a lot of people are probably wondering what else he isn’t revealing.

 

[Bear of Bad News]

Why are people jumping in the OP?

Because the story in the original post is a hell of a lot rosier (from his perspective) than what unfolded as additional details were produced.

It's natural to paint a picture that's favorable, but it sounded too good to be true (and turned out to be).