GDT: Game 82. Finito. Finale. Complete. End. Fin. Sharks @ Oilers 6pm

[TheBeard]

Apparently Reimer and Gregor are warming up for the second half of the season?

 

[Tw1ster]

Janmark looks like Ramsay Bolton

This is ridiculously accurate.

 

[Lebanezer]

Painful season comes to a close.

 

[The Nemesis]

of course Kane has to be the one who places the final punctuation on this Sharks season.

 

[TheBeard]

And that’s the end of that. Now I can finally get on with my life.

 

[Alaskanice]

Ugh.
For the final time this season.

 

[WSS11]

Painful season comes to a close.

We still have the lottery draw. More pain to come.

 

[The Nemesis]

And that’s the end of that. Now I can finally get on with my life.

Except you can't. We're all too damaged to function in society anymore.

 

[Mafoofoo]

Now for the long painful wait for the draft lottery

 

[drunksage]

SNOG announcement​

We're done tanking the SNOGs!

Congrats @sharks_dynasty and @Stewie Griffin for winning the SNOG season.

2022-23 Second half of season SNOG results (link to first half here)

#	Date / Opponent	SNOG Winner(s)​	Result
42	Jan. 10 at Coyotes	bluefunnel	Sharks 4-2
43	Jan. 11 at Kings	sharks_dynasty	Kings 4-3
44	Jan. 13 vs Oilers	none	Oilers 7-1
45	Jan. 16 vs Devils	none	Devils 4-3 SO
46	Jan. 18 vs Stars	none	Sharks 5-3
47	Jan. 21 at Blue Jackets	none	Blue Jackets 5-3
48	Jan. 22 at Bruins	none	Bruins 4-0
49	Jan. 24 at Red Wings	none	Red Wings 3-2 OT
50	Jan. 27 at Hurricanes	none	Hurricanes 5-4 OT
51	Jan. 28 at Penguins	none	Sharks 6-4
52	Feb. 7 at Lightning	none	Sharks 4-3 OT
53	Feb. 9 at Panthers	none	Panthers 4-1
54	Feb. 12 at Capitals	none	Sharks 4-1
55	Feb. 14 vs Penguins	none	Penguins 3-1
56	Feb. 16 at Golden Knights	none	VGK 2-1
57	Feb. 18 vs Sabres	NewMuzu24	Sabres 4-2
58	Feb. 20 vs Kraken	none	Sharks 4-0
59	Feb. 23 vs Predators	none	Predators 6-2
60	Feb. 25 vs Blackhawks	none	Blackhawks 4-3 SO
61	Feb. 28 vs Canadiens	Stewie Griffin	Canadiens 3-1
62	Mar. 2 vs Blues	none	Blues 6-3
63	Mar. 4 vs Capitals	none	Capitals 8-3
64	Mar. 6 at Jets	LadyStanley	Sharks 3-2 OT
65	Mar. 7 at Avalanche	none	Avalanche 6-0
66	Mar. 9 at Blues	Stewie Griffin	Blues 4-2
67	Mar. 11 vs Wild	none	Wild 5-2
68	Mar. 14 vs Blue Jackets	none	Blue Jackets 6-5 OT
69	Mar. 16 vs Kraken	none	Kraken 2-1 OT
70	Mar. 17 vs Islanders	NewMuzu24	Islanders 4-1
71	Mar. 20 at Oilers	none	Oilers 5-4 OT
72	Mar. 23 at Canucks	none	Canucks 7-2
73	Mar. 25 at Flames	none	Flames 5-3
74	Mar. 28 vs Jets	none	Sharks 3-0
75	Mar. 30 vs Golden Knights	none	Sharks 4-3 OT
76	Apr. 1 at Coyotes	none	Sharks 7-2
77	Apr. 4 vs Avalanche	none	Avalanche 4-3 OT
78	Apr. 6 vs Avalanche	none	Avalanche 6-2
79	Apr. 8 vs Oilers	none	Oilers 6-1
80	Apr. 10 at Jets	none	Jets 6-2
81	Apr. 12 at Flames	none	Flames 3-1
82	Apr. 13 at Oilers	none	Oilers 5-2

Rank	2022-23 SNOG standings​	# of SNOGs
T-1.	sharks_dynasty, Stewie Griffin	3
T-3.	NewMuzu24, Red Light Lover, Solmors	2
T-6.	bluefunnel, LadyStanley, Saskatoon, sharski, tahoesharksfan, TheBigDrunkPanda	1

 

[karltonian]

Failed successfully

 

[TheBeard]

Except you can't. We're all too damaged to function in society anymore.

I’ve been a Washington redskins fan for my entire life. If I could survive all that then this is a cakewalk.

 

[WSS11]

Injury or just that anxious to call his agent to demand a trade?

 

[TheBeard]

Injury or just that anxious to call his agent to demand a trade?

Groin surgery. Out for the rest of the year.

 

[Karl Prime]

I gotta think it says something that Quinn played Zetterlund less than every forward, including Robins.

 

[LadyStanley]

 

[StanleyCup2035]

Thanks for all your efforts, Lady No Stanley. We will get it…in 2035…

 

[Kcoyote3]

Huge thanks to @drunksage @LadyStanley @The Nemesis and everyone else here for keeping the flame going this season despite a really, really, really rough year.

 

[The Nemesis]

in honor of the semi-hijacking conversation that @hotcabbagesoup and I had last night about old time radio, and to get everyone's minds off the crushing deflation that was this Sharks season, I present a personally curated sampling of classic radio shows via Youtube to quiet the ongoing existential dread for 30 minutes at a time. They may not be everyone's cup of tea but if even a couple of people find something in this that they enjoy then that'll make it worth it for my attempts to showcase the value of old time radio as something that is functionally workable like podcasts almost 100 years before podcasts existed.

(really late added note: for context, I say this as someone who is like 2-3 generations removed from any old time/golden age of radio content being pop culturally relevant. I don't introduce these in a "you kids these days should appreciate the stuff I grew up with" sort of way because this would've been more like the stuff that my grandparents or great-grandparents would've grown up with. If I was trying to push my own childhood pop culture on everyone I would've posted episodes of The Transformers. Or the Nelvana Studios Adventures of Tintin Cartoon. Or ReBoot. Or the show made by the ReBoot/Transformers: Beast Wars guys that nobody remembers even though it was awesome: Shadow Raiders.)

Spoiler tags are just to prevent the embedded YT player from making this post take up 4x as much space.

Philip Marlowe - The Red Wind (originally aired Sept 26, 1948) (an adaptation of an early Raymond Chandler short story before he created Marlowe, re-engineered for the character for the purposes of this radio script)

Spoiler

The Shadow - The Poison Death (originally aired Jan 30, 1938) (starring Orson Welles as The Shadow/Lamont Cranston and Agnes Moorhead (possibly best known as the mother/in-law on Bewitched) as Margot Lane)

Spoiler

The Saint - The Saint Goes Underground (originally aired July 31, 1949) (starring Vincent Price as Simon Templar/The Saint)

Spoiler

Burns & Allen - Turkey Swallows a Wedding Ring (originally aired Nov 25, 1948) (fair warning that there is some cringey old-timey "a wife should obey her husband" stuff during the setup, but it also quickly gets subverted as part of the joke and it's worth noting that the series never really proscribed to that except for gags because in real life George Burns knew that Gracie was the unquestioned heavy hitter of their act and never treated her with anything less than the respect she earned and deserved.)

Spoiler

I highly recommend getting a comfy chair, a refreshing drink, and turning the lights down to set the right atmosphere to listen. Well maybe not for the comedy show, but the Shadow and Marlowe stories befit quiet, dark environs.

EDIT: I've now edited this post like 5 times to add little additional touches that will likely never be of consequence since the game is over and few will read this GDT much past tonight, but if anyone actually does listen to a show here based on my soapboxing/hawking I'd love to hear it just to know if the likes that result are from legitimate interest or more "isn't it cute that Nem tries so hard for something so esoteric." type motivations.


Yes, I am that insecure.

 

[LadyStanley]

 

[TheBeard]

Yeah, but he had a bad defensive play on the first goal so he should be demoted

 

[The Nemesis]

Yeah, but he had a bad defensive play on the first goal so he should be demoted

Not only should he not win the Norris, he should be forced to give at least one of his two previous trophies back and issue a public apology for lying about being a defenceman for all these years.

 

[sharks_dynasty]

SNOG announcement​

We're done tanking the SNOGs!

View attachment 688115

Congrats @sharks_dynasty and @Stewie Griffin for winning the SNOG season.

2022-23 Second half of season SNOG results (link to first half here)

#	Date / Opponent	SNOG Winner(s)​	Result
42	Jan. 10 at Coyotes	bluefunnel	Sharks 4-2
43	Jan. 11 at Kings	sharks_dynasty	Kings 4-3
44	Jan. 13 vs Oilers	none	Oilers 7-1
45	Jan. 16 vs Devils	none	Devils 4-3 SO
46	Jan. 18 vs Stars	none	Sharks 5-3
47	Jan. 21 at Blue Jackets	none	Blue Jackets 5-3
48	Jan. 22 at Bruins	none	Bruins 4-0
49	Jan. 24 at Red Wings	none	Red Wings 3-2 OT
50	Jan. 27 at Hurricanes	none	Hurricanes 5-4 OT
51	Jan. 28 at Penguins	none	Sharks 6-4
52	Feb. 7 at Lightning	none	Sharks 4-3 OT
53	Feb. 9 at Panthers	none	Panthers 4-1
54	Feb. 12 at Capitals	none	Sharks 4-1
55	Feb. 14 vs Penguins	none	Penguins 3-1
56	Feb. 16 at Golden Knights	none	VGK 2-1
57	Feb. 18 vs Sabres	NewMuzu24	Sabres 4-2
58	Feb. 20 vs Kraken	none	Sharks 4-0
59	Feb. 23 vs Predators	none	Predators 6-2
60	Feb. 25 vs Blackhawks	none	Blackhawks 4-3 SO
61	Feb. 28 vs Canadiens	Stewie Griffin	Canadiens 3-1
62	Mar. 2 vs Blues	none	Blues 6-3
63	Mar. 4 vs Capitals	none	Capitals 8-3
64	Mar. 6 at Jets	LadyStanley	Sharks 3-2 OT
65	Mar. 7 at Avalanche	none	Avalanche 6-0
66	Mar. 9 at Blues	Stewie Griffin	Blues 4-2
67	Mar. 11 vs Wild	none	Wild 5-2
68	Mar. 14 vs Blue Jackets	none	Blue Jackets 6-5 OT
69	Mar. 16 vs Kraken	none	Kraken 2-1 OT
70	Mar. 17 vs Islanders	NewMuzu24	Islanders 4-1
71	Mar. 20 at Oilers	none	Oilers 5-4 OT
72	Mar. 23 at Canucks	none	Canucks 7-2
73	Mar. 25 at Flames	none	Flames 5-3
74	Mar. 28 vs Jets	none	Sharks 3-0
75	Mar. 30 vs Golden Knights	none	Sharks 4-3 OT
76	Apr. 1 at Coyotes	none	Sharks 7-2
77	Apr. 4 vs Avalanche	none	Avalanche 4-3 OT
78	Apr. 6 vs Avalanche	none	Avalanche 6-2
79	Apr. 8 vs Oilers	none	Oilers 6-1
80	Apr. 10 at Jets	none	Jets 6-2
81	Apr. 12 at Flames	none	Flames 3-1
82	Apr. 13 at Oilers	none	Oilers 5-2

Rank	2022-23 SNOG standings​	# of SNOGs
T-1.	sharks_dynasty, Stewie Griffin	3
T-3.	NewMuzu24, Red Light Lover, Solmors	2
T-6.	bluefunnel, LadyStanley, Saskatoon, sharski, tahoesharksfan, TheBigDrunkPanda	1

Thank you, @drunksage! Truly appreciated all the effort you put in throughout the year in managing the SNOG as well as in putting up with us no-skilled SNOG tankers. It was a failure of epic proportions for both the Sharks as well as the SNOGers this year. Let’s hope for better outcomes next year.

 

[TheBeard]

Not only should he not win the Norris, he should be forced to give at least one of his two previous trophies back and issue a public apology for lying about being a defenceman for all these years.

Everyone knows he’s a fourth forward. A fourward??

 

[The Nemesis]

Everyone knows he’s a fourth forward. A fourward??

"It's true! I've never seen the inside of my own zone in my entire career! This year I just paid one of the forwards to put my jersey on and fake my d-zone starts"
-Erik Karlsson, probably.