Wow, what a production, you have yourself a future in Hollywood amigo, very creative, there was a great story in there and you peaked my interest where I wanted to read more to see what was coming next.
OFF-SEASON REVIEW
It was quite an eventful offseason in Habsland, dear fellow fans. Well, not necessarily in terms of quantity, but certainly in terms of quality. Just before the season ended, we were offered a glimpse of young phenom Lane Hutson's flashy dipsy doodle skills and veteran-like poise as he got his first strides in the league in a double-header versus the (still) playoff hungry Red Wings. It felt, at least to me, like a good omen of things to come.
Sweaty palms all across the province, we all watched nervously when the lottery came around. Luckily we kept our rank for the 3rd year in a row. As per our annual tradition when we have a high pick, but naturally, not high enough, the following two months saw the usual bickering among us on who should we draft. One thing was clear though, very few thought we'd get a chance at drafting Ivan Demidov.
Draft day comes, Sennecke is drafted 3rd, Demidov is still there after the 4th pick, and we're all like "are they gonna pull another Reinbacher?". Can't pass on Demidov! Can they?
Then this lady of destiny we all know, gingerly walks-up to the stage to announce the pick and you just know this was somehow all written in advance. Céline announcing that pick, a player we all wanted to fall to us, was just too epic. It's like all the stars aligned. That never happens in Habsland, wtf? Hockey gods hath not forsaken us, afterall?
So we got Demidov. Probably the most Kovalev-like player we've had since, well, Kovalev. Speaking of which, it didn't take long for people to notice parallels between the two. Even an odd resemblance. Similar nose, cheekbones, blue eyes, blonde hair:
People wondered. How busy was Kovalev during the 2005 lockout? I mean, he did play in the RSL that year, for Ak Bars. He can't be his father, right? Some of us have already seen photos of Kovy with his wife and kid anyway and it's clearly not Ivan:
So mystery persists, but whether he's Kovy's son or not, he sure seems to have the skill level. And that's all we could ask for. Is it, though? All we could ask for? How about this other beauty we drafted afterward, much more than we could ask for:
That devilish Lex Luthor of hockey, Kent Hughes, wheeled and dealed his way to the 21st pick, and again with some help from the hockey gods, the one player he got the pick for, fell right where we needed him. It was truly a draft for the ages. For Habs fans anyway.
Kent wasn't done though, and pulled another rabbit several weeks later. Trading for Laine might've been a gamble, and no matter if we got him for a bag of pucks, it's the kind of move that could set-up the team very nicely.
So I ask, was it a summer of destiny? Did our bad luck finally turn around?
Moving on..
Waiting for the dogdays of summer to end and hockey to come back once again into our lives, a controversy arose in early August:
One of our resident sleuths, connoisseur of thighs, who also happens to have a mean eye for details, AND extensive knowledge of digital doctoring, accused the author of the article of misleading everyone by digitally enhancing Lane Hutson's legs! I could not hear it. I don't care what he says, look at the damn pic for yourselves, it's clearly not photoshopped:
The big thigh debate aside, we finally got to the annual golf tournament that kicks off training camp, and all we kept hearing from management is how we'll be "in the mix". I swear I heard 'in the mix' so many times I thought I was watching an Asterix movie:
Preseason games started and then this happened:
Everything fell apart after that. Literally everything. Panic ensued. Critics multiplied. Many thought we'd spend the season in Marty's 50 shades of disapproval:
Thankfuly, the season started last night and despite a not-so perfect game, Habs were solid in many aspects that were a grave concern just a week ago.
Onwards to tonight as we battle our arch nemesis at the TD Garden:
The Bruins also didn't shy away from controversy. Au contraire, the hockey world's headlines were captured by this man and his knightly battle for his goaltender brethren:
Jeremy spoken. Or was it his agent, Lewis Gross, manipulating his client into a revenge battle over Krug's own bitter contract negos, whom Gross represented??
The spiteful confrontation reached its zenith when Neely overstepped on his GM and spoke directly to Jeremy through the media:
Only for Gross to reply publicly, calling Neely out as a boldfaced liar:
At this point, many Bruins fans thought Neely would lose it and dig deep to unearth his inner Sea Bass, so he could confront Jeremy and wring his neck:
Alas, the situation was resolved shortly after, signing Swayman to an 8 year contract and finally putting that dreary episode behind them:
Bruinsland rejoiced and the bruins players gathered together to dance in peace, joy and harmony:
If you by any chance cross path with any of them, please don't mention this whole kerfuffle. They are super sensitive on the subject:
GAME ON!
Rosters will be added shortly
Very well done….
(Meanwhile, Runner in his basement lab hatching new ideas for the next GDT so not to be dethroned as the GDT messiah lol)
