So Im at a crossroads in my career.
I was with the same company for just about 20 years. Mid-size company of less than 150 employees for most of my tenure there, moved to a really nice office about 10 years ago. Had my own office with a great view in NJ. Commute was easy.
Pay was OK, time and half with OT which was nice. benefits and team were great, the work-life balance was very good. Manager level and mainly remote for the past 5 years post Covid. I was in a groove.
The job afforded me time with my family, to get things done around the house, stay on top of my exercise routine, etc. Work was interesting enough. I did it well and i enjoyed training others. It was never a job I was gushing to tell people about. But there was enough about it that was interesting and engaging, and it provided me the independence with little oversight that I enjoyed and excelled in.
Never really had the want or courage to look elsewhere, call it complacency if you want. But I was happy and saw myself potentially taking over the business and/or retiring there. About a year ago we started losing business and our debt grew. The owners had no choice but to look into a merger. Multiple attempts to merge failed and we wound up being bought out by another company. All of this happened rather quickly, many people who I had worked with for years let go.
Within a span of weeks and I found myself part of a small remaining transition group, commuting over an hour away to help them transition the work/clients over. There was a lot of mystery involved and those of us who remained (largely the managerial staff) felt it was not handled very well. Well, how could it be, really. A lot of long work relationships went to shit. And then the bottom fell out completely. Some of the transition team were offered roles with the acquiring company. I was not and was unceremoniously let go on a phone call with my owner on Friday.
Fortunately I had reached out to some old friends and was out of work two days before starting a new gig, but I hate it. My direct report is a nut case. Its stressful and shes on top of me. At times I feel like an intern, but yet completely over-qualified for the role. Not a manager who once had a team of 8 people below me.
Its a job. It pays the bills. Thankfully we have that. Its in person, every day and its a big change fof lifestyle and work-life balance. Many days I feel trapped inside. The traffic I had been used to riding through each day in my younger years - I just dont have the patience for anymore. The time drag. It eats at me. Safe to say I was pretty spoiled in the role I had and the ability to easily balance personal time with work. Im not a manager and dont have a team below me and im not relied on in a decision making level I was accustomed to. I had to take something while I looked for a position more substantial and fulfilling.
I'm not exactly a young guy, at 46 - And this job hunt is not fun. Any moments of excitement are met with seeing that over 100+ others have applied. Its been about 6 weeks, have applied to several jobs but havent landed an interview yet. Generally speaking I know its early in the process, but 'm concerned that im either coming off as a dinosaur or I'm just not as polished in tracking down leads. I've built out my Linkedin profile after years of it being unchanged.
Quite honestly, I don't want to have to impress anyone. I busted my ass getting to where I was and now its like starting all over and I find myself dreading it all.
I desperately want to get out of my current job and thats whats motivating me. But there is a fair amount of regret for not keeping my options open all of those years. Friends would tell me I was too loyal. Maybe I was. But I was happy and it worked. Now Im in a tough position and I just need to vent even if no one will read this.
The bottom line is no one is going to help me I need to keep plugging away at it. Stay positive. Yes. My hope is one day I look back and can say that getting laid off was the best thing that couldve happened - and i sure hope thats the case. But this in between period Im in, it sucks. The moments of self-doubt. The regret. The anxiety. Not fun.
Interestingly enough, I'm coming up on my 20th year at HF. I registered for HF one month after I was hired at my original job. Its pretty crazy how fast its all gone. I feel like as you get older, start a family - you begin to live in fast-forward. Hoping that my HF anniversary will coincide with a new job offer that Im trilled about and will take me through another two decades.
If anyone can share some advice or share a similar experience I’d be grateful.