Blaine Schmetzky - The epitome of a talentless goon who endured a brief and thoroughly embarrassing playing career. Nearly universally regarded as the worst player of all time. However, he was known as a hyper aggressive player and the best fighter in the history of hockey. His undistinguished career got slightly better after Larry Schmuter put an entirely clean hit on him in a beer league exhibition game with nothing at stake. Blaine later went on to be a highly successful head coach at the conclusion of his playing career. All of his brothers--especially his brother Kent--were far better players.
Luigi Le Pire - Infamous for his incredible durability (especially his indestructible back) despite possessing less than zero intangibles and having hands of stone. Fans often wonder how much less he could have done if he had been injured more frequently. Caused the formerly stellar franchise known as the Schmittsburgh Schmenguins to slide into complete irrelevance after they inexplicably drafted him dead last in 1984. Unanimously considered the least promising and most embarrassing prospect by pro scouts, none of whom wanted to draft him. Some consider him to be the second worst player of all time after Schmetsky. Currently works as a janitor at the Schmenguins home arena.
Lou Schminson - Known as The Baby Carrying Stork for breathing new life into his opponents and making them feel better after gently refusing to fight them. Widely regarded as a hockey prodigy since his formative years, Lou routinely made opponents look absolutely silly on the ice with his wife array of dazzling dekes and spins. His skating was smooth and effortless, and he regularly led the league in ice time everywhere he went. Finished as the league's all time leading scorer, but fell on extremely hard times after his playing days. Currently lives in a seedy back alley and goes dumpster diving for all his meals.
NFC Semifinal Washington Commanders @ Detroit LionsWagers: 3Staked: $2,100.00Event closes