2024-25 First Goal Prediction Thread

[MCB]

Terry vs avs

 

[KelVarnsen]

Zegras

 

[DucksAreMighty]

Terry vs Colorado

 

[Ducks DVM]

It’s Colorado, so it’s Troy Terry

 

[Arthuros]

THE FIRST SCORER OF GAME 80 VS :
MASON MCTAVISH

SCORER LEADERBOARD UPDATE:
​

FIRST SCORER	TOTAL	SCORED?
Terry	12
Carlsson	7
Vatrano	7
Gauthier	6
McTavish	6
Killorn	5
Zellweger	5
McGinn	4
Zegras	4
Colangelo	3
Strome	3
Fabbri	2
LaCombe	2
Leason	2
Mintyukov	2
Nesterenko	2
Dumoulin	1
Harkins	1
Helleson	1
Lundestrom	1
Trouba	1

========================================

CORRECT GUESSERS FOR GAME 80:​

Mason vs Avs

Mac vs Avs

GUESSING LEADERBOARD UPDATE:
​

GUESSER	TOTAL	CORRECT?
Arthuros	10
Ducks DVM	10
Hockey Duckie	8
DucksAreMighty	7
Giguere27	7
Hamilton Bulldogs	7
smetak	7
TheDarkWingThatDucks	7
anezthes	5
KelVarnsen	5
WhatTheDuck	5
shach1	4
MCB	4
JanIEC	3
slippingsloth	3
2faded	3
Ducksforcup	2
DuckTech	2
Kalv	2
Koffein	2

========================================​

 

[Koffein]

Cutter vs Wild

 

[smetak]

Colangelo vs MIN

 

[Arthuros]

Hmmm...Should I play chicken and wait out @Ducks DVM to make my guess?

Nah. Zegras vs the Mild.

 

[2faded]

Leo

 

[Giguere27]

Terry vs Wild

 

[Hockey Duckie]

LaCombe vs Wild!

 

[KelVarnsen]

zegras

 

[TheDarkWingThatDucks]

Washe vs wild

 

[Arthuros]

Oh dear, that wasn't a very nice game.

We'll tally it all up at the end. CARLSSON VS THE JETS.

 

[Koffein]

Zebras vs Winnipeg

 

[KelVarnsen]

Cutter

 

[2faded]

McT

 

[DuckTech]

Killer v Peg

 

[Giguere27]

Vatrano

 

[MCB]

Cutter vs wpg

 

[Hamilton Bulldogs]

Harkins vs WPG

 

[Ducks DVM]

Gauthier vs Winnipeg

 

[Arthuros]

THE FIRST SCORER OF GAME 81 VS :
ALEX KILLORN
THE FIRST SCORER OF GAME 82 VS :
TROY TERRY

SCORER LEADERBOARD UPDATE:
​

FIRST SCORER	TOTAL	SCORED?
Terry	13
Carlsson	7
Vatrano	7
Gauthier	6
Killorn	6
McTavish	6
Zellweger	5
McGinn	4
Zegras	4
Colangelo	3
Strome	3
Fabbri	2
LaCombe	2
Leason	2
Mintyukov	2
Nesterenko	2
Dumoulin	1
Harkins	1
Helleson	1
Lundestrom	1
Trouba	1

========================================

CORRECT GUESSERS FOR GAME 81 AND 82:​

no.

FINAL GUESSING LEADERBOARD:
​

GUESSER	TOTAL	CORRECT?
Arthuros	10
Ducks DVM	10
Hockey Duckie	8
DucksAreMighty	7
Giguere27	7
Hamilton Bulldogs	7
smetak	7
TheDarkWingThatDucks	7
anezthes	5
KelVarnsen	5
WhatTheDuck	5
shach1	4
MCB	4
JanIEC	3
slippingsloth	3
2faded	3
Ducksforcup	2
DuckTech	2
Kalv	2
Koffein	2

========================================

we're done.
AND THE WINNER IS...
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and @Ducks DVM )

And to write my acceptance speech for me, because I feel obliged to repay this team in kind with the same level of effort they've shown this season...ChatGPT.
​

Wow. Just... wow. What a journey. What a season. What a completely unnecessary emotional rollercoaster this has been. I stand before you today, humbled, honored, and only slightly smug, to accept this monumental recognition for my elite, borderline psychic ability to correctly guess — week after week — which brave soul would somehow, against all odds and basic hockey fundamentals, manage to score the first goal for our beloved disaster of a hockey team.


Now, I know what you're thinking: "How did they do it? Was it intuition? Was it strategy? Was it divine intervention?" And the answer is yes. All of the above. Because to guess who would score first for this team — this beautiful, chaos-fueled collection of broken sticks, missed passes, and goalies who seem personally offended by the concept of making a save — takes not just skill, but vision.


I would like to thank the team itself — not for their performance, obviously, but for being so wildly inconsistent that guessing felt less like a game and more like a roulette wheel with a puck. One week it's our fourth-line grinder who accidentally deflects one in off his skate while falling over; the next week it’s our one decent forward, who scores and then vanishes like Houdini for the next eight games. Truly inspiring.


To the other competitors in this tournament: You fought valiantly. You guessed with heart. You believed in players who hadn’t scored since the Obama administration. And though your dreams were crushed beneath the weight of my superior prediction prowess, your efforts were... well, they existed. Participation ribbons for everyone!


To the analytics nerds — I see you. Pouring over spreadsheets, Corsi numbers, expected goals, astrological charts, goat entrails — all to try to gain the upper hand. And yet, who won? That's right. Me. The person who went with “gut feelings” and “vibes” and once picked a guy because “he looked sad last game and might need a win.”


And to the hockey team itself — may you someday reach the dizzying heights of mediocrity. May your power play actually enter the offensive zone. May your defense remember that their job involves defending. And may your coach one day understand what the word “timeout” means and how to structure a special teams unit. Dare to dream.


Lastly, I’d like to thank my brain, my finger for clicking the submit button, and the existential dread that pushed me to stay engaged in a contest about the only spark of hope this team gave us all season — that sweet, precious, single goal in the waning seconds of the third period that made us feel alive.


Thank you. I will cherish this win for at least two more days before sliding back into the darkness of the off-season, where there is only trade rumors, disappointment, and the false hope of draft picks.


God bless hockey. And God help our team.


[Raises imaginary trophy made entirely of broken sticks and shattered dreams]

​