@Hansen
Sorry to hear man. That’s a tough loss.
The only thing I can suggest is to not be afraid to let our your emotions to friends and family. Don’t be afraid to speak to a professional as well.
Last July 1st - a good friend of mine revealed to me on skype that he had stage 4 cancer and wanted to thank me for all the good times. He passed away a month and a half later and had a wife and kid. DJ was only 38 years old.
A few days later on July 5th, my girlfriend of two years dumped me and I learned about a week later that she was really only with me for my passport.
Why I mention this is to not depress you or steal attention away from you, but to rather offer words of encouragement that you WILL feel better. It will take some time, but time heals all wounds.
Don’t be afraid to open up to friends, family, and even a professional, and take solace in the fact that you will feel good again one day (one word of caution about feeling good.....healing isn’t a linear process. You will trend upwards slowly, but there are peaks and valleys on a day to day basis).
Best of luck.