OT: 119th Obsequious Banter Thread: April Foods Day

[Jack Straw]

I've been playing Red Dead Online lately. Maybe a month ago I was playing and The Child was evidently watching behind me. I spotted a perfect Eastern Turkey. From the moment we spotted the video game turkey and it entered our lives to the moment I shot it was perhaps 3-5 seconds.

The second I fired, I hear The Child wail "MR TURKEYKINS! NOOOOOOO! I LOVED HIM!" and then for the rest of the day I got a lot of heat for murdering Mr. Turkeykins. Edit: She actually called my mom to rat me out


Cut to yesterday. A month+ later.

The Child: Thanksgiving is soon. We aren't going to eat a turkey are we?
Me: We definitely are. Why?
The Child: Who would do that? Who would kill an animal? What if it's endangered!?
Me: .......
Me: This is about Mr. Turkeykins, isn't it?
The Child: OF COURSE IT IS. He was my best friend and you KILLED him.

A+ trolling

Does she know about your plan for the mass slaughter of baboons?

 

[Beef Invictus]

Does she know about your plan for the mass slaughter of baboons?

Not yet. Some day.


She is definitely on a path to vegetarianism overall, though. Because of course my troll-child would do this to me.

 

[trostol]

Figures...5 minutes before I leave for work my new computer shows up

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I had a thyroid surgery in March and as it was very similar to what my cousin had, they made me do genetics panel/test to see if there's need to worry about genetic tumour prevalence/other thyroid conditions. Few minutes ago got a call that I have to drive in for in-person visit, which almost surely means they found something (they said they wouldn't bother me if all tests were negative). At least the visit is in 5 hours = won't sit and overanalyze for days, but... Ugh...

Best of luck.

 

[BernieParent]

Right next to the defrost button as God intended

John Tortorella's microwave definitely has a de-Frost button.

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

John Tortorella's microwave definitely has a de-Frost button.

The kind of button you have to push in and another pops out.

 

[BernieParent]

I had a thyroid surgery in March and as it was very similar to what my cousin had, they made me do genetics panel/test to see if there's need to worry about genetic tumour prevalence/other thyroid conditions. Few minutes ago got a call that I have to drive in for in-person visit, which almost surely means they found something (they said they wouldn't bother me if all tests were negative). At least the visit is in 5 hours = won't sit and overanalyze for days, but... Ugh...

I am so sorry to hear this, Ellja. I hope your news is the best possible.

 

[BackToTheBrierePatch]

I had a thyroid surgery in March and as it was very similar to what my cousin had, they made me do genetics panel/test to see if there's need to worry about genetic tumour prevalence/other thyroid conditions. Few minutes ago got a call that I have to drive in for in-person visit, which almost surely means they found something (they said they wouldn't bother me if all tests were negative). At least the visit is in 5 hours = won't sit and overanalyze for days, but... Ugh...

Hope everything works out.,

 

[trostol]

I had a thyroid surgery in March and as it was very similar to what my cousin had, they made me do genetics panel/test to see if there's need to worry about genetic tumour prevalence/other thyroid conditions. Few minutes ago got a call that I have to drive in for in-person visit, which almost surely means they found something (they said they wouldn't bother me if all tests were negative). At least the visit is in 5 hours = won't sit and overanalyze for days, but... Ugh...

I got nothing to add that others haven't said...so I will go the other way

Stop being a wuss and rub some dirt in it lol

Now seriously..hope all goes well

 

[VladDrag]

Just an FYI to everyone, and I wasn’t sure where to put this, but ever since I had the screen replaced on my phone, writing with this phone has been terrible. So lots of my posts coming from my phone are full of weird typos that I just don’t have the desire to fix.

 

[DancingPanther]

Just an FYI to everyone, and I wasn’t sure where to put this, but ever since I had the screen replaced on my phone, writing with this phone has been terrible. So lots of my posts coming from my phone are full of weird typos that I just don’t have the desire to fix.

I'll never forgive you for this

 

[Flybynite]

https://www.cnn.com/style/duct-taped-banana-maurizio-cattelan-auction-hnk-intl/index.html

A Chinese crypto person paid $6.24m at a Sothesby auction for another copy of the banana duct taped to a wall.

The winning bidder will receive a roll of duct tape and one banana, as well as a certificate of authenticity and official instructions for installing the work. Prior to the sale, Sotheby’s confirmed to CNN that neither the tape nor, thankfully, the banana are the originals.

 

[Lord Defect]

https://www.cnn.com/style/duct-taped-banana-maurizio-cattelan-auction-hnk-intl/index.html

A Chinese crypto person paid $6.24m at a Sothesby auction for another copy of the banana duct taped to a wall.

The winning bidder will receive a roll of duct tape and one banana, as well as a certificate of authenticity and official instructions for installing the work. Prior to the sale, Sotheby’s confirmed to CNN that neither the tape nor, thankfully, the banana are the originals.

Laundering

 

[trostol]

hello from new pc...its kinda loud lol i need a volume control for the fans

 

[Appleyard]

The world is such a funny, small place at times.

One of my best friends, who I went to Uni with and lived with for basically two years moved to Belgium ~10 years ago.

In the mean-time I have gone to Denmark, Netherlands and now Portugal.

Somehow we found ourselves in similar day-jobs (both fundraisers for NGOs) albeit in different sectors, me in sport and him in sustainability... but only really see each other once every couple of years.

My workplace might need a specialist in fundraising within a very specific funding stream in the area of sustainability next year... and ofc he is one of the best possible candidates for the role on the entire continent! And after 10 years in the same job is actually thinking of leaving anyway.

 

[Embiid]

So Putin just launched an ICBM at Ukraine thankfully with a conventional war head...

Clearly a massive escalation in response to the long range missiles fired into their territory..

The West's alert system must have shit a brick. How do you distinguish a conventional attack from a nuclear one???

Seriously..this tit for tat brinkmanship and pushing of red lines is gonna get us all exterminated..

MSN

Russian ICBM Attack On Ukraine 'Would Mark Clear Escalation': EU

Russia launching an intercontinental ballistic missile at Ukraine would mark a "clear escalation" by President Vladimir Putin, the European Union said on Thursday after Kyiv accused Moscow of such an attack.

www.barrons.com

 

[ajgoal]

https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/travel/italian-village-ollolai-wants-americans-election-one-dollar-homes/index.html

 

[Lord Defect]

So Putin just launched an ICBM at Ukraine thankfully with a conventional war head...

Clearly a massive escalation in response to the long range missiles fired into their territory..

The West's alert system must have shit a brick. How do you distinguish a conventional attack from a nuclear one???

Seriously..this tit for tat brinkmanship and pushing of red lines is gonna get us all exterminated..

MSN

Russian ICBM Attack On Ukraine 'Would Mark Clear Escalation': EU

Russia launching an intercontinental ballistic missile at Ukraine would mark a "clear escalation" by President Vladimir Putin, the European Union said on Thursday after Kyiv accused Moscow of such an attack.

www.barrons.com

If only we didn’t keep escalating the situation

 

[DancingPanther]

https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/travel/italian-village-ollolai-wants-americans-election-one-dollar-homes/index.html

They've been doing this for years

 

[ajgoal]

They've been doing this for years

Yeah, but the headline is different.

 

[Embiid]

That won't be the only theater to escalate...it will continue

 

[Cody Webster]

So, who's ready to see some snow?

 

[Embiid]

Yeah from a nuclear winter....

 

[ajgoal]

So, who's ready to see some snow?

I have been for five years. So we're not getting any.

 

[Cody Webster]

I have been for five years. So we're not getting any.

Lol, not much, but there might be a few flakes flying tomorrow, with more possible on Thanksgiving.

Anyone up in the Poconos could see some measurable snow tonight into tomorrow