OT: 117th Obsequious Banter Thread: National Cookie Day is celebrated in December

[Embiid]

In this country people would protest getting prepared

Don't lava flow over me....

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Passed the written test.
Passed the vision test.
Passed the road sign test.

Failed the driving test. Know why? Because the c***s put a stop sign - a stop sign that was literally half the height of a normal stop sign - right in the middle of the turning lane turning into the parking lot of the Highway Patrol, and I didn't see it, and running a stop sign - even a midget stop sign in the middle of somewhere it shouldn't be - is an automatic fail.

F*** the police.

 

[Embiid]

Passed the written test.
Passed the vision test.
Passed the road sign test.

Failed the driving test. Know why? Because the c***s put a stop sign - a stop sign that was literally half the height of a normal stop sign - right in the middle of the turning lane turning into the parking lot of the Highway Patrol, and I didn't see it, and running a stop sign - even a midget stop sign in the middle of somewhere it shouldn't be - is an automatic fail.

F*** the police.

I failed the first time bc they basically had a stop sign maybe a foot from the starting point...it was a gotcha strategically placed sign. I was a 17 year old nervous kid. The 2nd time I got stuck with the Bitch of Buchenwald/Rosanne Barr fat broad angry type who was known to fail people for minor mistakes...mainly dudes. My mistake was not parallel parking enough away from the curb...1ft. I was driving my dad's effin ocean liner....Chevy Caprice Classic for pete's sake. Finally the 3rd person was a cool cop who was whistling happily while I did my thing and passed.

 

[Kermit the Prog]

I failed the first time bc they basically had a stop sign maybe a foot from the starting point...it was a gotcha strategically placed sign. I was a 17 year old nervous kid. The 2nd time I got stuck with the Bitch of Buchenwald/Rosanne Barr fat broad angry type who was known to fail people for minor mistakes...mainly dudes. My mistake was not parallel parking enough away from the curb...1ft. I was driving my dad's effin ocean liner....Chevy Caprice Classic for pete's sake. Finally the 3rd person was a cool cop who was whistling happily while I did my thing and passed.

My Driver's Ed teacher was the high school basketball coach who smoked his pipe, read the sports page (peering over it to see the road every now and then), and put Don Imus on the radio, laughing out loud to most ordinary things.

 

[Embiid]

Well hopefully my scheduled full body scan will introduce a variable to prolong my life only to witness massive climate chaos or possibly nuclear war ..

Scientists create AI they claim predicts when you'll die with 78% accuracy

Researchers have developed an algorithm that uses the story of a person's life to predict their future and it is accurate about 78 per cent of the time

www.themirror.com

 

[swami24]

Back in my day, the cops would tell some kids to skip the stop sign. Fail if you did. Their excuse, What if your parent told you to ignore a sign?

 

[Jack Straw]

Is Being a Diehard Sports Fan Good for Your Mental Health?

Discuss.

 

[BackToTheBrierePatch]

Pro tip, don’t take your drivers test when it’s snowing. I had to back into a spot and couldn’t see the lines. I still passed but the guy gave me a ration of shit over it. Probably because the car was straight

Is Being a Diehard Sports Fan Good for Your Mental Health?

Discuss.

I used to lose my shit over losses or bad calls. Now I just don’t give a shit anymore

 

[Embiid]

The Flyers are clearly in good hands..

Xfinity hack affects nearly 36 million customers. Here's what to know.

A major data breach at Comcast-owned Xfinity exposed people's account names, passwords and other personal data.

www.cbsnews.com

 

[Flybynite]

I used to lose my shit over losses or bad calls. Now I just don’t give a shit anymore

Same. I talked about this before, but my entire Philly sports life was wanting to see a championship. The Sixers won when I was in Kindergarten and didn't care at all or follow sports then. So until the Phillies won in 2008 it was like 3 decades of just failures.

After that World Series win it was kinda like all the frustrations went away and something had been checked off my list. Then the Eagles won a Super Bowl for the first time ever and it took another chunk out.

My actual interest level and watching habits for sports are a fraction of what they were 10 years ago. I think the covid shutdowns was like a "cold turkey" effect because once they started back up my interest was very diminished. Losing my Dad a year and a half ago also had a big impact be cause sports was prob the only thing we talked about so I needed to at least casually be watching.

 

[Embiid]

Once Berube became the Flyers coach, my sports rage dialed down considerably. I also started switching to the process Sixers. I seem to recall my peak rage occurring when we would lose to Buffalo in the playoffs. I had a big pillow I referred to as Matthew Barnaby and recall raging on it like a maniac I hated him and the Sabres so much..

 

[landsbergfan]

Pro tip, don’t take your drivers test when it’s snowing. I had to back into a spot and couldn’t see the lines. I still passed but the guy gave me a ration of shit over it. Probably because the car was straight


I used to lose my shit over losses or bad calls. Now I just don’t give a shit anymore

Not kidding at all that’s the first time I’ve seen that expression written out in text and always thought it was “a rash and a shit”

 

[Cody Webster]

 

[trostol]

Any one use a humidifier? If so cool or warm and what do you believe is better in winter?

 

[Embiid]

 

[Rebels57]

Passed the written test.
Passed the vision test.
Passed the road sign test.

Failed the driving test. Know why? Because the c***s put a stop sign - a stop sign that was literally half the height of a normal stop sign - right in the middle of the turning lane turning into the parking lot of the Highway Patrol, and I didn't see it, and running a stop sign - even a midget stop sign in the middle of somewhere it shouldn't be - is an automatic fail.

F*** the police.

I failed hilariously bad my first time. Didnt even make it out of the parking lot onto the road.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I failed hilariously bad my first time. Didnt even make it out of the parking lot onto the road.

But I'm 55 years old. I have been driving for 27 years

 

[Chinatown88]

I don't like chaos but the chaos of Christmas/holiday season always gives me another level of energy. Too many things to do still.

 

[Coffe]

On this note, I've never seen anyone celebrate winning the 50/50 raffle at local games. I'm convinced it's the PR team that buys one ticket and proceeds to pick their own number every time.

 

[Embiid]

Get your screenings and waiting till middle age is looking to be less of a good idea...

Eff cancer..

Colon cancer is rising in young Americans. It’s not clear why.

MSN

Agree with this woman

“It’s environmental,” said Amanda Blackburn, 43, a cancer survivor who attends the support group, which is part of the Colon Cancer Prevention Project. “It’s everything we eat, everything we drink, everything we consume. … Americans put things into their food that the Europeans won’t allow in their yoga mat.”

 

[kudymen]

If we decided not to import some things from the US, that would be great.
**** was eliminated by the cops several minutes ago, reportedly.

https://edition.cnn.com/2023/12/21/europe/prague-university-shooting-intl/index.html

Prague shooting: Gunman dead after killing 10 at Prague university

Dozens of people were also injured in the shooting in the city's Old Town, Czech police say

www.bbc.com

Update: 10 victims as of now. ****
Update2: #11 was the f*** who flew straight to hell

 

[Appleyard]

Microsoft Designer - Stunning designs in a flash

A graphic design app that helps you create professional quality social media posts, invitations, digital postcards, graphics, and more. Start with your idea and create something unique for you.

designer.microsoft.com

I have had so much fun with this just typing random prompts. Some of the Flyers related ones have been comical.

"Mount Rushmore of Philadelphia Flyers"

"Flyers beat Devils and Kraken to win cup"

"Philadelphia Flyers win vs Soviets"

"Philadelphia Flyers stylish new jersey"

 

[Danko]

Show us the aliens already

 

[Embiid]

Show us the aliens already

So supposedly contact was made with aliens per recently redacted classified records associated with the Roswell incident....they "communicated" with them for some time. I want pics!

 

[Danko]

So supposedly contact was made with aliens per recently redacted classified records associated with the Roswell incident....they "communicated" with them for some time. I want pics!

I firmly believe they at least recovered some life form inside the crashed crafts. the 1933 crash discovery and then retrieval at the end of the war story in particular is more interesting to me then the Roswell incident.