Would you buy a SMART condom?

[kingskring]

The i.Con Smart Condom, which markets itself as the "world's first smart condom," is actually a ring that fits over a boring, dumb condom and claims to track the exercise of your man bits, as well as detect chlamydia and syphilis.

The ring, first announced last July, is currently available for preorder on British Condoms for £59.99 (about $74, AU$97) with an unknown release date. But you can't actually put a ring on it yet -- the company says it won't take your money until the product has a firm release.

In short, the i.Con ring promises to answer every burning question you've ever had about your sex session. Don't worry, it will pair with an app for all your data visualization needs.

According to the preorder page, the ring will answer questions such as:

What's my thrust velocity?
How fast are my thrusts?
How many calories did that sesh just burn?
How many times did I just have sex?
What's the average skin temperature of my... eggplant?
What's my girth?
How many different positions did I just conquer?
Plus, it aims to answer that age-old question: How do I stack up at sex to everyone else around the world? Because sure, let's gamify sex. What could go wrong?

The ring, which will come with a one-year warranty, will have a Micro-USB charging port to provide six to eight hours of "live" usage (not clear if this means thrust usage or something else). It will work with a combination of "nano-chip and sensors," and pair with your device via Bluetooth. (I thought it would charge kinetically, but maybe that's just a pipe dream.)

https://www.cnet.com/news/icon-smart-condom-ring/

Click to read more...

 

[Bee Sheriff]

I don't wear condoms

 

[Mantis]

I don't wear condoms

You have never had a reason to

 

[Bee Sheriff]

You have never had a reason to

You're right. My girlfriend has an IUD.

 

[Lurked4Yearz]

Every condom is a smart condom.

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

I would use that

 

[HF007]

I don't wear condoms

Real

 

[Hansen]

I don't wear condoms

**** you guys have some solid financial plans

 

[Kairi Zaide]

I've never wore condoms and I don't have any STDs or unexpected children.

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

I've never wore condoms and I don't have any STDs or unexpected children.

Just remember the golden rule: If she's wearing white pants, you're good to go

 

[Son Goku]

I like to live on the wild side

 

[Jumptheshark]

only if i can find a girl to participate in the scientific research project

 

[Dog]

I've never wore condoms and I don't have any STDs or unexpected children.

You have never, and you will never ****

 

[SladeWilson23]

Just remember the golden rule: If she's wearing white pants, you're good to go

I've never learned this golden rule before.

 

[MrFunnyWobbl]

You have never had a reason to

I think you dropped your smart condom for your intellectual dong

 

[JustGivingEr]

 

[Jacques The Mayor]

I don't wear condoms

 

[Kairi Zaide]

You have never, and you will never ****

mind blown

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

I've never learned this golden rule before.

It is not taught in the DC universe because DC is aimed towards grade schoolers, and *MAYBE* the odd middle schooler. Not virile men like Marvel is aimed towards.

Funny story, this actually reminds me of a girl I work with who has an 8 year old who loves super hero movies regardless of Marvel//DC//whatever. So she asks me last year, when it came out, if Deadpool would be an appropriate movie to take her son to

My response?

 

[Mantis]

I think you dropped your smart condom for your intellectual dong

Its a smart Magnum

 

[irunthepeg]

lmao mantis is gold in this thread

 

[Walkingthroughforest]

You're right. My girlfriend has an IUD.

So which finger is it wrapped around?

 

[Bee Sheriff]

So which finger is it wrapped around?

Do you know what an IUD is?

 

[Mantis]

Improvised underwear device?

 

[Lurked4Yearz]

Do you know what an IUD is?

It's those things used to blow up Army vehicles in the Middle East. Is your girlfriend a terrorist?