Plushies, Poutine, and Poor Geography
Chapter 47: Plushie Diplomacy in Vancouver
By the time we rolled into Vancouver, Brenda had finalized her latest slogan:
“Plushies: The Future of Humanity!” She had a plan to unveil it at Rogers Arena during a Canucks game. Juan, meanwhile, was more preoccupied with his newest plushie creation, a bear wearing a Mountie uniform, which he proudly called "Mountie Mike."
“We’re going to turn Vancouver into the Plushie Party capital of Canada,” Brenda announced as we parked near the arena.
“I thought you already declared Winnipeg the plushie capital,” I said.
“That was before I realized how overrated polar bears are,” she replied dismissively.
As we approached Rogers Arena, Hargrave trailed behind us, muttering into his hidden mic. I caught snippets like “...their insanity knows no bounds…” and “...requesting backup in case the Mountie bear gets weaponized…”
Inside the arena, Brenda and Juan began handing out flyers for the Plushie Party’s supposed world domination plans. The locals seemed more confused than intrigued.
“Join us!” Brenda shouted to a crowd of mildly interested fans. “The plushies are soft, but their message is strong!”
Juan, meanwhile, wandered off to show Mountie Mike to a security guard, who immediately confiscated it, citing “weird vibes.”
The night ended predictably: with us being escorted out of yet another arena.
Chapter 48: The Alaska Revelation
As we regrouped in the parking lot, Juan was uncharacteristically quiet, cradling his now slightly damaged Mountie Mike. Brenda, however, was already brainstorming her next move.
“We need to take this campaign somewhere fresh,” she said. “Somewhere untapped by plushie potential.”
“What about Alaska?” Juan suddenly blurted out.
I blinked. “Alaska?”
“Yeah,” he said, perking up. “It’s a whole other country, right? They’ll appreciate plushies more than these Canadians.”
I exchanged a glance with Hargrave, who was fighting to suppress laughter.
“You mean Alaska… which is part of the United States?” I said, trying to keep a straight face.
“No, it’s not,” Juan insisted, crossing his arms. “It’s, like, a Russian colony or something. Everyone knows that.”
Before I could correct him, Brenda clapped her hands together. “Juan’s right! Alaska is the perfect destination. Rugged terrain, untapped potential, and no one there to judge us.”
“Except the people who live there,” I muttered.
Hargrave sighed. “I suppose I have no choice but to come along for this madness.”
Chapter 49: Onward to Alaska
By morning, we were back on the road, heading north. Juan was already brainstorming his Alaska strategy, sketching plushie designs inspired by wolves and moose. Brenda was busy practicing her latest speech in the rearview mirror.
“This is it,” she declared. “Alaska will be our plushie promised land.”
As for me, I just braced myself for the inevitable disaster. After all, if there was one thing I’d learned on this journey, it was that Juan and Brenda could turn even the simplest plan into a catastrophic spectacle.
But hey, at least I’d get to see Alaska… or whatever Juan thought Alaska was.
