PETA want Pro Golfer Andrew 'Beef' Johnston to change nickname to Tofu

[MrFunnyWobbl]

Dear Andrew,

Congratulations on all your success this year! Like many others, we’ve been enthusiastically following your career, and we thought we’d send you a gift of delicious vegan steaks and burgers in the hope that you’ll consider adopting a kinder, healthier vegan lifestyle, which would pave the way for a new nickname: Andrew “Tofu†Johnston.

Along with tofu, veggie burgers and soya steaks are readily available, high in protein, and low in artery-clogging saturated fats and cholesterol. By ditching beef and other animal-derived foods, you could reduce your risk of developing heart disease by a long shot (actually, by a whopping 32 per cent, according to a study from the University of Oxford). And if that’s not enough, consider that vegetarians and vegans live, on average, six to 10 years longer than meat-eaters do. Just think how many more championships you could win during that time. Replacing beef burgers with bean burgers would also save many animals a year from the routine cruelty of the meat industry – including painful mutilations such as branding and castration without anaesthetics.

Your new nickname would also raise awareness of the urgent need to move towards a cruelty-free lifestyle to offset the worst effects of climate change. According to the United Nations, animal agriculture is “one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to globalâ€.

I hope you’ll agree that going vegan is a hole in one for your health, animals, and the environment.

Sincerely,

Kate Smith

PETA U.K. Celebrity Liaison

you vegans are bonkers

Click to read more...

 

[ChickenBurrito]

Waiting for them to ask me to change my name to TofuBurrito

 

[RayP]

Waiting for them to ask me to change my name to TofuBurrito

no one gives a single **** about you.



gonna be waiting a while there, chief.

 

[ChickenBurrito]

no one gives a single **** about you.



gonna be waiting a while there, chief.

 

[John Price]

no one gives a single **** about you.



gonna be waiting a while there, chief.

Correct

 

[HanSolo]

They're just trolling at this point.

 

[irunthepeg]

no one gives a single **** about you.



gonna be waiting a while there, chief.

 

[Dr Pepper]

PETA U.K. Celebrity Liaison?

Pfft, that sounds like a made up position.

 

[beowulf]

They're just trolling at this point.

They have been for a bloody long time.

 

[Soliloquy of a Dogge]

Who cares.

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

lol.

 

[tarheelhockey]

He should respond by changing his nickname to "Veal".

 

[Benjamin]

Cultural appropriation! Triggered!

 

[DyerMaker66*]

He should respond by changing his nickname to "Veal".

I'll have the baby guts!

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

He should respond by changing his nickname to "Veal".

this could be his theme song

 

[Kairi Zaide]

TBH I don't understand PETA on this one considering tofus are animals.

Here is a family of tofus.

 

[DonskoiDonscored]

It sounds like PETA has quite a bit of beef with him

 

[Shrimper]

This is satire, right?

 

[Pharrell Williams]

cute tofu family.

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

Back in the late 90's, zombies used to eat Tofu

 

[jw2]

The story behind the nickname is weird. It's about his hair or something. Not about eating or being chunky.

 

[Taro Tsujimoto]

Would PETA accept "Killer Tofu"?

 

[HanSolo]

This is satire, right?

I'm fairly certain PETA is more interested in how to get publicity by doing stupid things than they are actually accomplishing things for animals.

 

[Carolinas Identity*]

I'm fairly certain PETA is more interested in how to get publicity by doing stupid things than they are actually accomplishing things for animals.

I save insects from my pool when I am outside from drowning as often as I can

I am a hero tbh imo

 

[HanSolo]

I save insects from my pool when I am outside from drowning as often as I can

I am a hero tbh imo

You don't have a pool do you?