OT: OT-“Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.”
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TheMistyStranger
ミスト
- May 21, 2005
- 31,607
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Got an email for an interview. Still not 100% about leaving because I do like the flexibility I have, but it's worth a chat, at least.
TheMistyStranger
ミスト
- May 21, 2005
- 31,607
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Never hurts to listen to other offers out there. Good luck.
Dubi Doo
Registered User
- Aug 27, 2008
- 20,321
- 14,225
The wifey and I are going through some tough times right now. Lots of talks and uncertainty about our future together. The good news is, we communicate so well. Neither of us goes on the defensive when the other brings up an issue we have with the other.
A lot of her issues with me are ones I know existed- I'm emotionally unavailable at times, she feels like she has to push me to hang out with her, she wonders if I'm in love with her or the comfort she brings, etc...I was raised to dampen my emotions, and I know it makes me a harder person to love. Also, I have been leaning on THC (5-6 nights a week after the little guy goes to be) a bit too much over the past couple of years, which played a role in me distancing from her.
On her side, she said she felt like she checked out for a bit, that she didn't show enough physical intimacy, that she was becoming more and more short with me over time, and that she had to work on her mental health.
She's working on herself, I'm working on myself, and we're hanging out more, which has led to more physical intimacy. All hope isn't lost. She wants to hangout more, and very clearly still loves me. I very clearly still love her. I'd be lying if I said we're not afraid we'll fall into our old habits, though, and she pretty much said if I continue being emotionally unavailable, that she would leave my ass.
Grown man problems are not fun!
A lot of her issues with me are ones I know existed- I'm emotionally unavailable at times, she feels like she has to push me to hang out with her, she wonders if I'm in love with her or the comfort she brings, etc...I was raised to dampen my emotions, and I know it makes me a harder person to love. Also, I have been leaning on THC (5-6 nights a week after the little guy goes to be) a bit too much over the past couple of years, which played a role in me distancing from her.
On her side, she said she felt like she checked out for a bit, that she didn't show enough physical intimacy, that she was becoming more and more short with me over time, and that she had to work on her mental health.
She's working on herself, I'm working on myself, and we're hanging out more, which has led to more physical intimacy. All hope isn't lost. She wants to hangout more, and very clearly still loves me. I very clearly still love her. I'd be lying if I said we're not afraid we'll fall into our old habits, though, and she pretty much said if I continue being emotionally unavailable, that she would leave my ass.
Grown man problems are not fun!
Glad you both are willing to put in the work. Use the fear of falling into old habits to keep from falling into them. Structures can help from what I've seen and experienced - build in date nights, have daily contact check ins at transition points in the day (hug her like you mean it when one of you is leaving the other), and getting clear communication is certainly helpful.
New child stuff can be challenging for sure.
I won't get into para-menopausal brain chemistry stuff. I don't want to frighten you.
Der Jaeger
Generational EBUG
My daughter decided on Liberty University. CJR was a good offer but too much money for one year of hockey, when the goal of going there was to get to play college hockey.
Glad the process is over and she's headed somewhere to play and gets a great education in the process.
Glad the process is over and she's headed somewhere to play and gets a great education in the process.
Der Jaeger
Generational EBUG
Yes, the overall process this April was stressful for all of us. The best thing I heard was from her skills coach. "She's intoxicated with her options."
The Liberty offer was amazing. The entire program is NCAA D1 quality, from coaches to facilities to training staff. Dormitories are immaculate. Dining facility is like going to a clean and healthy Ponderosa (for those of you who remember what that was!
) CJR was also a great offer. Chelsea Piers is an amazing facility for the team. She would've had her own apartment and was going to go to her first year of college online.
The difference was the price (CJR's cost is enough for a cheap car) and the Liberty offer wasn't guaranteed to be available next season. We're Christians as well, and Liberty's culture was what we all were looking for in a school.
She's 18 and couldn't decide. Lots of sleepless nights, crying from her, etc. for what was seemingly a pretty amazing choice.
Now I have my son's decision in 5 years. Then I can have peace.
Yes, the overall process this April was stressful for all of us. The best thing I heard was from her skills coach. "She's intoxicated with her options."
The Liberty offer was amazing. The entire program is NCAA D1 quality, from coaches to facilities to training staff. Dormitories are immaculate. Dining facility is like going to a clean and healthy Ponderosa (for those of you who remember what that was!
CJR was also a great offer. Chelsea Piers is an amazing facility for the team. She would've had her own apartment and was going to go to her first year of college online.
The difference was the price (CJR's cost is enough for a cheap car) and the Liberty offer wasn't guaranteed to be available next season. We're Christians as well, and Liberty's culture was what we all were looking for in a school.
She's 18 and couldn't decide. Lots of sleepless nights, crying from her, etc. for what was seemingly a pretty amazing choice.
Now I have my son's decision in 5 years. Then I can have peace.
I hear that - my youngest went back and forth on where to go, finally decided (I think) two weeks ago. The offer from Rollins was significant as was the one from Franklin, but the cost overall was a deciding factor. I have no idea how many more body parts I will need to sell to make this happen.
Der Jaeger
Generational EBUG
You have two kidneys and only need one to survive. Just sayin'I hear that - my youngest went back and forth on where to go, finally decided (I think) two weeks ago. The offer from Rollins was significant as was the one from Franklin, but the cost overall was a deciding factor. I have no idea how many more body parts I will need to sell to make this happen.
The thought has crossed my mind!
You have two kidneys and only need one to survive. Just sayin'
The thought has crossed my mind!
Yes, the thought has crossed my mind that you have two kidneys too.
Ummmm.... wait. Nevermind.
Old Navy Goat
Registered User
Picked up the farm fresh 18yo housekeeper from the bus yesterday. She showed up with all her worldly possessions in a small carryon case. Got her settled in her room, gave Caretaker 2 an extra 5k to take her and Caretaker 1 shopping at the night bazaar. Told her 3k for the housekeeper, then 1k for each of the girls as the housekeeper needed decent clothes, bathing suit, tennis shoes etc. The night bazaar has shorts from 50 to 150, shirts the same price, you can find sneakers for 500 etc.
Left them to their devices headed out to check in with the managers and let the mamasan know that her neice arrived safely. After that hung out at Country Western night in my friend's AGoGo, listened to a break from the EDM typically played. Laughed and joked with my friends, the girls, and servers while listening to the background complaints about the music. My friend laughs that he gets constant complaints about it on FB etc but it's his most profitable night.
About 2am, took a Bolt car back to get my truck. A 5km ride was a princely $3 fare. Got home and all 3 girls sleeping in my bed so I got the couch. Was watching YouTube at 5ish when Caretaker 2 came out and crawled on the couch. She said shopping was fun, #1 got a slutty bikini and tried to get the housekeeper something similar but she went conservative. Further elaborated that when they got home, the housekeeper broke down started crying as she was emotionally overwhelmed. First time away from family, first time getting to go shopping for fun. #2 said the housekeeper kept wanting to save the money instead of spending, not understanding how people can live like this when she grew up in a one room house with 8 people there.
Going to bring her aunt over and a couple cousins to help the transition. It amazes me how vast the gap can be between the social status. The 3k for her to shop is only a bit over $80 which is kind of throwaway money for us, meaning it's not unusual to spend on a typical night out, while that was 2/3 of her monthly wages shocking oysters and working the rice field. Her aunt will yell at me for coddling her as no Thai family would treat the help that way
Left them to their devices headed out to check in with the managers and let the mamasan know that her neice arrived safely. After that hung out at Country Western night in my friend's AGoGo, listened to a break from the EDM typically played. Laughed and joked with my friends, the girls, and servers while listening to the background complaints about the music. My friend laughs that he gets constant complaints about it on FB etc but it's his most profitable night.
About 2am, took a Bolt car back to get my truck. A 5km ride was a princely $3 fare. Got home and all 3 girls sleeping in my bed so I got the couch. Was watching YouTube at 5ish when Caretaker 2 came out and crawled on the couch. She said shopping was fun, #1 got a slutty bikini and tried to get the housekeeper something similar but she went conservative. Further elaborated that when they got home, the housekeeper broke down started crying as she was emotionally overwhelmed. First time away from family, first time getting to go shopping for fun. #2 said the housekeeper kept wanting to save the money instead of spending, not understanding how people can live like this when she grew up in a one room house with 8 people there.
Going to bring her aunt over and a couple cousins to help the transition. It amazes me how vast the gap can be between the social status. The 3k for her to shop is only a bit over $80 which is kind of throwaway money for us, meaning it's not unusual to spend on a typical night out, while that was 2/3 of her monthly wages shocking oysters and working the rice field. Her aunt will yell at me for coddling her as no Thai family would treat the help that way
Jim Bob
RIP RJ
I am thankful that the first lacrosse coach that reached out to Nate was from the perfect school from an academic, lacrosse, and financial POV.Yes, the overall process this April was stressful for all of us. The best thing I heard was from her skills coach. "She's intoxicated with her options."
The Liberty offer was amazing. The entire program is NCAA D1 quality, from coaches to facilities to training staff. Dormitories are immaculate. Dining facility is like going to a clean and healthy Ponderosa (for those of you who remember what that was!
CJR was also a great offer. Chelsea Piers is an amazing facility for the team. She would've had her own apartment and was going to go to her first year of college online.
The difference was the price (CJR's cost is enough for a cheap car) and the Liberty offer wasn't guaranteed to be available next season. We're Christians as well, and Liberty's culture was what we all were looking for in a school.
She's 18 and couldn't decide. Lots of sleepless nights, crying from her, etc. for what was seemingly a pretty amazing choice.
Now I have my son's decision in 5 years. Then I can have peace.
My only stress was waiting to hear back if he got admitted. And even that was so easy that I felt a little like we were being Punk'd.
I think my youngest will be pretty easy, as well. He likely will go one of two paths: MCC out of HS and then transfer to SUNY Brockport or go to Brockport right out of HS. But, we shall see. He's finishing up his junior year and we have a little bit of a runway to get there.
brian_griffin
"Eric Cartman?"
the fact that you two talk on that level, and the fact you can express it in the manner you have suggests to me at least you two will be fine.
I think I posted before about a long-time friend and work colleague (we hired-in 1 week apart 34 years ago). He took assignments in the late '90s that eventually found him in Thailand where he met his current wife. He returned here in the early 2000s. He met his wife in Bangkok, but she was from rural area. Her parents had a hut with a bare naked light bulb and a water buffalo. The two of them started a Thai restaurant (for her to be head cook and operate) while the kids were still young (2 of the 3 are his, 1st was hers from prior relationship). He does some of the paperwork but mostly works his engineering job . Family / friends have been some of the restaurant staff. before that, she and her Thai friends were doing hair in half of their garage he crudely outfit for her. Their (the Thais) work ethic is off the charts. the wealth difference between how she grew up rural, vs. what she achieved in Bangkok, vs. in USA must be equally staggering leaps. [I am still curious how he met her, however...
]
Der Jaeger
Generational EBUG
My daughter is currently waiting to be admitted as well. Then we go into the parent plus loan application process. It's like a mini-job.I am thankful that the first lacrosse coach that reached out to Nate was from the perfect school from an academic, lacrosse, and financial POV.
My only stress was waiting to hear back if he got admitted. And even that was so easy that I felt a little like we were being Punk'd.
I think my youngest will be pretty easy, as well. He likely will go one of two paths: MCC out of HS and then transfer to SUNY Brockport or go to Brockport right out of HS. But, we shall see. He's finishing up his junior year and we have a little bit of a runway to get there.
We've got a ton of runway with my son so I'll have time to learn from the process.
Okay, so my younger child has accepted the financial aid package and will be going to Rollins in Winter Park.
Old Navy Goat
Registered User
It's not unusual for the eldest child to go off to factory work or some menial labor when they hit 18 (many younger). You have them living in shared accomodations for $40 or 50 a month. As for meeting, I wouldn't be surprised if they met at one of the night markets. It's cheaper to eat out in many cases than to make it yourself. Caretaker 1 does lunch everyday at a 15 baht restaurant, she gets a couple dishes with service water for under 85 cents. Last night I had 3 egg rolls with rice for 90 cents, brought home 3 chicken quarters for $1.30 that I'll shred 2 for tacos.the fact that you two talk on that level, and the fact you can express it in the manner you have suggests to me at least you two will be fine.
I think I posted before about a long-time friend and work colleague (we hired-in 1 week apart 34 years ago). He took assignments in the late '90s that eventually found him in Thailand where he met his current wife. He returned here in the early 2000s. He met his wife in Bangkok, but she was from rural area. Her parents had a hut with a bare naked light bulb and a water buffalo. The two of them started a Thai restaurant (for her to be head cook and operate) while the kids were still young (2 of the 3 are his, 1st was hers from prior relationship). He does some of the paperwork but mostly works his engineering job . Family / friends have been some of the restaurant staff. before that, she and her Thai friends were doing hair in half of their garage he crudely outfit for her. Their (the Thais) work ethic is off the charts. the wealth difference between how she grew up rural, vs. what she achieved in Bangkok, vs. in USA must be equally staggering leaps. [I am still curious how he met her, however...
The aunt and her cousins talked sense into the housekeeper. One of the cousins proposed that I make her my Mai Noi so she can take care of my every want, need and desire
Burgmania
Buffalo's Hockey Soundtrack
Well, this is fantastic. I come home from a night out at my parents' back in Orleans County to find that our power has apparently been off since a little after 10 this morning. Somehow, our apartment's circuit breaker tripped. I'm not sure how, because we don't leave stuff turned on...
...anyway, that's a whole fridge & freezer of stuff pretty much ruined.
...anyway, that's a whole fridge & freezer of stuff pretty much ruined.
Up visiting my dad for the weekend. Cancer really sucks. He retired last year at 71. Spent 6 months barely being able to walk more than 100 ft at a time not knowing why. Then in the hospital for major heart surgery. 3 months recovery. Then treatment for a cancer he knows they can’t cure. He is currently in the hospital and he can’t eat anything and barely has the strength to sit up.
