If the preparation and execution for a given game is derailed by one or two bad calls, then the team didn't deserve to win the game.
Officials are human and they can and will make mistakes, so expect it to sometimes happen, and play the game to win by multiple scores so it's not an issue.
I agree with your point about how teams should be accountable to themselves. And you won't ever find me defending Harbaugh. But these statements are kinda crazy. I mean, where's the line? 3 bad calls? What about 3 bad calls?
The problem with those statements is that, when you pit two evenly-matched teams against one another, they are simply unrealistic. Win by multiple scores or you don't deserve to win? Overcome a bad call that swings the game 7 points or you don't deserve to win? I mean, at what point do you think bad officiating begins to have an impact on the result and "deserves" is no longer the point?
Again, I get the team dynamic part. I don't want Harbaugh giving his players the wrong impression. I don't what the players thinking about officiating in a way that impacts how they see their own performance. But as viewers with no impact on the game, we as fans absolutely have the luxury of pointing out where officials are impacting the result of a game.
In the end, I don't really care. Years ago, a game like that would have been a bit soul-crushing. But a team can no longer crush your soul after it has already removed it completely lol. The era between Carr and Harbaugh battered me pretty good as a fan, but the Harbaugh era, because of the original expectations vs the results on the field, has left me but a simple shell of a college football fan at this point. His record speaks for itself, on a macro level. But on a micro level, there have certainly been points where it's obvious the officials messed up in a way that significantly changed the dynamic of the game.