Literally Beautiful: The Jiminy Cricket Story

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Jiminy Cricket

#TeamMeat
Mar 9, 2014
2,183
2,090
Well It`s Winter Folk`s `n` U Know wat That mean`s -- I Was Literally shoppe-ing aroun`d @ The Home Depo for Lawm Mower`s, when the Sale`s Associate Stop`d me `n` Said:

Jame`s, your Beautiful. :amazed:

`n` I Said:

Yes Mam, I Know, But I`m Literally Marold. :dunno: My Wive has Beautiful feet `n` Every1 Know`s this.

`n` She Got Xtremely angry `n` Said,

Jame`s, I`m going 2 Beet the f*** out of U With this Knive! :madfire:

`n` That`s when I Realize`d:


:bow: I Am Literally Beautiful. :bow:

I am Literally Inciting Violen`Ce over My Beauty, Rite here in The Home Depo! I`m literally Jus`t shoppin`g aroun`d for Lawm Mower`s, `n` this Wooman is getting Xtremely upset over How Beautiful I Am! Goodness Gosh! :amazed:

Tune in2 P`B`S @ 9 PM this Wensday for Literally Beautiful: The Jiminy Cricket Story. :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
 

HansonBro

Registered User
May 3, 2006
4,943
3,460
Depo crasher
 

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VickAshley

Registered User
Dec 7, 2017
1,776
901
Oak Lawn
twitter.com
Well It`s Winter Folk`s `n` U Know wat That mean`s -- I Was Literally shoppe-ing aroun`d @ The Home Depo for Lawm Mower`s, when the Sale`s Associate Stop`d me `n` Said:

Jame`s, your Beautiful. :amazed:

`n` I Said:

Yes Mam, I Know, But I`m Literally Marold. :dunno: My Wive has Beautiful feet `n` Every1 Know`s this.

`n` She Got Xtremely angry `n` Said,

Jame`s, I`m going 2 Beet the **** out of U With this Knive! :madfire:

`n` That`s when I Realize`d:


:bow: I Am Literally Beautiful. :bow:

I am Literally Inciting Violen`Ce over My Beauty, Rite here in The Home Depo! I`m literally Jus`t shoppin`g aroun`d for Lawm Mower`s, `n` this Wooman is getting Xtremely upset over How Beautiful I Am! Goodness Gosh! :amazed:

Tune in2 P`B`S @ 9 PM this Wensday for Literally Beautiful: The Jiminy Cricket Story. :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:


If some women were ever to try to beat me up with a knife or any other weapon (gun) I would literally dis-arm her from her weapon and swiftly issue a palm strike into her nose-bone which would then likely lodge into the inside of her brain because I am trained in Krav Maga style self-defence and I have a zero-tolerance policy regarding being attacked by anyone, ever, for anything and will defend my life with extreme prejudice, tenacity, veracity, ferocity, and velocity.
 

sdf

Registered User
Jan 23, 2015
2,233
393
Rostov on Don
how we can know that she not said "you an ugly asshole jimmi i kill you right now" and you not changed it in your way
 

Jiminy Cricket

#TeamMeat
Mar 9, 2014
2,183
2,090
LOOK`S IS THE ONLY THIN`G THAT MATTER`S IN LIVE. I AM LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL, WITCH MAKE`S ME BETTER THEN SOMEONE WHO IS LESS BEAUTIFUL THEN ME. FOR EXAMBLE, I AM RITCHER, SMARTER, S`TRONGER, MORE TALENT`D, `N`, MOS`T IMPORTANTLY, MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN @StanGetz. I AM LIDERALLY SUPERIOR DUE 2 MY SUPERIOR LOOK`S. I AM LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL `N` HAVE BEAUTIFUL FEET, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL U HAVE EVER SEEN. :bow::bow::bow:
 
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Kairi Zaide

Unforgiven
Aug 11, 2009
105,339
12,890
Quebec City
LOOK`S IS THE ONLY THIN`G THAT MATTER`S IN LIVE. I AM LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL, WITCH MAKE`S ME BETTER THEN SOMEONE WHO IS LESS BEAUTIFUL THEN ME. FOR EXAMBLE, I AM RITCHER, SMARTER, S`TRONGER, MORE TALENT`D, `N`, MOS`T IMPORTANTLY, MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN @StanGetz. I AM LIDERALLY SUPERIOR DUE 2 MY SUPERIOR LOOK`S. I AM LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL `N` HAVE BEAUTIFUL FEET, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL U HAVE EVER SEEN. :bow::bow::bow:
Damn. Incels were right all along...
 

Bumpus

Shhh ...
Mar 4, 2008
2,518
1,247
WV
If some women were ever to try to beat me up with a knife or any other weapon (gun) I would literally dis-arm her from her weapon and swiftly issue a palm strike into her nose-bone which would then likely lodge into the inside of her brain because I am trained in Krav Maga style self-defence and I have a zero-tolerance policy regarding being attacked by anyone, ever, for anything and will defend my life with extreme prejudice, tenacity, veracity, ferocity, and velocity.
Would you utilize spaghetti?
 

LarryFisherman

o̯̘̍͋̀͌̂͒͋͋ͯ̿ͯͦ̈́ͬ͒̚̚
May 9, 2013
6,365
2,662
Arvada, CO
LOOK`S IS THE ONLY THIN`G THAT MATTER`S IN LIVE. I AM LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL, WITCH MAKE`S ME BETTER THEN SOMEONE WHO IS LESS BEAUTIFUL THEN ME. FOR EXAMBLE, I AM RITCHER, SMARTER, S`TRONGER, MORE TALENT`D, `N`, MOS`T IMPORTANTLY, MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN @StanGetz. I AM LIDERALLY SUPERIOR DUE 2 MY SUPERIOR LOOK`S. I AM LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL `N` HAVE BEAUTIFUL FEET, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL U HAVE EVER SEEN. :bow::bow::bow:

yuh, just that you have to say this so bold and beautifully tells me everything I need to know bout you

incel on, incel. enjoy that warmed up ziplock of petroleum jelly, cuz it's the closest that d gets to the genuine article.
 

Mike Mills

Registered User
Apr 27, 2019
293
183
oh yeah, i still finished in her mouth. i'm living where the air is clean, brother

but, no worries. ilu and don't include you in the heap of sadness that is @Jiminy Cricket and his entire existence, start to finish. you're 100 tiers higher than that nonsense.

Wow I’m glad I’ve impressed you so much in the few days I’ve been posting here.
 
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