HandsomeHollywood
Brooke Shields ain't got nothin'
- Mar 20, 2017
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The Alternative Wrestling Federation presents: Reckoning
Live from the KFC Yum! Arena in Louisville, Kentucky with commentary from Excalibur and Larry Zbysko and interviews with Renee Paquette.
Introduction:
Excalibur: “Good evening AWF fans and welcome to Turmoil! We are live here in . Joining me in commentary is none other than The Living Legend, Larry Zbysko! Welcome Larry.”
Larry Zbysko: “Well thank you, it’s great to be here. I have a question though. How come you’re still wearing that damn mask? Do you have a match later?”
Excalibur: “Let’s just get into tonight’s card. Now our first match is a title match for the AWF Cruiserweight Championship between the Champion Billy Kidman and the challenger Matt Sydal.”
Larry Zbysko: “Wait, didn’t Kidman make the challenge, so that would make him the challenger and the Champion.”
Excalibur: “Well you’re right about that Larry. Let’s go back to last Monday’s Turmoil where after weeks of tension spilled over into the incident that led to this match. Let’s have a look at the footage.”
In the locker room.
Torrie Wilson: “Oh my God babe. I just had another hot yoga session with Matt and it was incredible! I’ve never felt anything like it. He really stretched me out. I bent over while he laid down under me to make sure my form was right and he helped me find my root Chakra! It was such an intense sensation. I closed my eyes and all I could see were stars. And my core felt so good that I thought was going to…”
Billy Kidman: “Damnit Torrie! That’s it! I’ve had it with this Shitkra or whatever the hell it’s called. I forbid you to do another yoga session with that weirdo! In fact, I want a match with him at Turmoil and I’ll put the title on the line!”
Torrie Wilson: “Babe! It’s just hot yoga! You know how moist I get when…”
Billy Kidman: “Moist?!? MOIST?!?! Damnit Torrie! What the hell are you…”
Matt Sydal: “Oh, hey guys. How’s it going? Am I interrupting?”
Billy Kidman: “Actually, YEAH, you’re…”
Torrie Wilson: “No Matt, you’re not. We were just talking about our hot yoga session from this morning.”
Matt Sydal: “Torrie, you were AMAZING this morning. It was great to lay underneath you and see you experience finding your Chakra while you were bent over above me. Tomorrow I’ll down underneath you again, but this time I’ll have you bend over backwards so we can find your Anahata which is in your chest. So when you bend over backwards I’ll be able to see…”
Billy Kidman: “You won’t be bending over backwards and YOU won’t be seeing a damn thing!”
Billy Kidman proceeds to beat down Matt Sydal.
Torrie Wilson: “Billy stop, you’re hurting him!”
Billy Kidman: “This was just a preview of how much I’m going to hurt this freak! Sydal, I want you at Turmoil and I’ll even put the belt on the line! I’ll also beat you so bad you’ll you’ll find your ass Chakra!”
Torrie Wilson: “Oh Matt, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Thank you for today though, it was so intense I got so…”
Billy Kidman: “Damnit Torrie, let’s go!”
AWF Cruiserweight Championship Match
Billy Kidman (C) with Torrie Wilson vs Matt Sydal
Bios:
Interview:Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson: Think late WCW/early WWE Kidman with Torrie, Kidman has been the top cruiserweight for some time, but he’s very jealous of Torrie giving anyone else any attention. He’s even more jealous of anyone else giving Torrie attention, which happens all the time in the AWF.
Entrance music: His last WCW theme.
Matt Sydal: Think recent AEW Matt Sydal, he is as prolific in the ring as he is a Yogi. Entrance music: Soothing spa music.
Entrance music: Current AEW theme.
Renee Paquette: “I’m here with the AWF Women’s World Champion Jade Cargill and her…. ‘Baddies’… ah, Jamie Noble and Danhausen, and Jade, tonight not only do you put up your title, but you also put your undefeated record against probably your toughest opponent yet, AWF newcomer ‘The Beast’ Shayna Baszler.”
Jamie Noble: “Whoa boy, now her right therr, she’s definitely a beast! Y’all are gonna have a helluva match on yer hands.”
Danhausen: “Yes, Shayna Baszler is very evil!”
Jade Cargill: “Yo, who the f*** told you bitches you could speak? She asked me about that ugly bitch. Well tonight, I’m going to slap the shit outta her so bad that when it’s all said and done her face will be even uglier, assuming that’s possible.”
Renee Paquette: “Respectfully Jade, Shayna Baszler doesn’t seem the type to be slapped around.”
Jamie Noble: “Well I like bein’ slapped around by a woman, but I agree with y’all Renee, that chick is scary. Now Jade, you know I’m yer biggest fan and I got that tattoo on my….”
Danhausen: “What? You’re not Jade’s biggest fan, I am! Look at my ‘Jade’ necklace. They’re real diamonds and it cost a lot of monies..”
Jamie Noble: “Shut the hell up you clown. Y’all are…”
Danhausen: “Oh yeah, well now I am going to curse you!”
Jade Cargill: “What did I tell you hoes?!? SHUT THE HELL UP!”
Jamie Noble: “I’m sorry ma’am, I mean Miss Jade.”
Jade Cargill: “Call me ‘ma’am’ again motherf***er!”
Danhausen: “Yeah, don’t call her ‘ma’am’ you redneck. Call her by her real name, ‘That Evil Bitch’.”
Jade Cargill: “What the f*** did you just call me? Shut the hell up!”
Jamie Noble: “Well you don’t need to worry none Miss Jade, if things go South we’ll be there ta give y’all a hand. You can’t count on us, we can take her!”
Danhausen: “Yes, yes, and I will put a curse on Shawnie Baszler to make sure…”
Jade Cargill: “That’s it! The next one of y’all that says a damn word is gonna be OUT and if y’all don’t like it you can step! Now, about that whack-ass Shayna Baszler, the only reason she’s a beast is because she looks like a man. Well ain’t no ugly ass man gonna beat me. I’m the champ, I’m undefeated and… I’M. THAT. BITCH!”
Excalibur: “Well Larry, that was interesting. On to our next match.”
Larry Zbysko: “Thank God. What the hell is the matter with those people?”
Exacalibur: “Well I thought that was one heck of an opening match tonight Larry. What did you think?”
Larry Zbysko: “Well yeah, it was a great match, but I’m tired of all this yoga, yogi, whatever nonsense! Get a room!”
Excalibur: “OK. Well on to our next match and this here is the first AWF open challenge match Larry. Oh, and here comes the man offering the open challenge, Ilya Dragunov, and his entourage consisting of his wife Lana who is actually the one who issued the open challenge, his trainer and really the man who recruited him to the United States and the AWF, Dan Lambert, and of course the financial backer none other than former President Donald Trump with his personal security.”
Larry Zbysko: “Why do they need so many damn people in the ring?”
Excalibur: “Well Ilya Dragunov has proven himself to be a big deal in the AWF thus far as he’s beaten all of his opponents and has a perfect record, but let’s go to the ring.”
Lana: “Good evening . Tonight vee present to you zee greatest physical specimen in all of professional wrestling, my husband, Ilya Dragunov.”
Excalibur: “Wow, Larry, the crowd here in Is really taking issue with Lana tonight.”
Larry Zbysko: “Well what does she expect with that accent? I can barely understand her.”
Lana: “My husband, Ilya, is zee perfect professional wrestler. As you have seen in preveeuus weeks’ training seeshuns with our country’s advanced technology of human performance, zer is no one who can match hees strength, hees endurance or hees aggressiveness.”
Dan Lambert: “If I may Lana, yes, and this technology and Ilya’s training regimen under my guidance and with the financial backing of President Trump…”
Excalibur: “I think he means former President Trump.”
Larry Zbysko: “It looks like he was formerly an orangutan at the zoo.”
Dan Lambert: “… has made this man a better man, a stronger man, harnessing all his strength. He is indeed the perfect specimen, and a NATURAL specimen whose physique cannot be questioned…”
Excalibur: “Well the crowd seems to be questioning this as they’re chanting ‘doping’.”
Larry Zbysko: “My kid told me I looked dope the other day and I smacked him.”
Dan Lambert: “As I was saying, Ilya’s perfect physique cannot be questioned unlike that of you Here in . Now if you’ll show some respect for your PRESIDENT, Donald Trump, he has a few words he’d like to say.”
Donald Trump: “My fellow Americans, I’m happy to be here with my Russian friends Ilya Dragunov and his wife Lana, the lovely, lovely Lana. And folks, this whole allegation of doping is a hoax, it’s just one big hoax. I would never back a cheater because I know what it’s like to be cheated. I only back winners, like myself. So that is what I’ve backed Ilya and I’m here tonight to see what loser here in the AWF is going to step up to the challenge.”
Dan Lambert: “You heard the President AWF locker room, so who’s it going to be? Which one of you imperfect specimens has the guts to step up to this man? I know none of you imperfect specimens here in have the guts!”
Excalibur: “Well Larry, it doesn’t seem as though anyone is coming out.”
Larry Zbysko: “Hopefully somebody comes out soon so we don’t have to listen to this jerk any longer.”
Excalibur: “Actually our wait might be over Larry. What is this? “
Larry Zbysko: “It looks like somebody has answered Lambert’s call.”
Excalibur: “It’s HOOK! This kid is just as hot a property as Dragunov and like the Russian Hook is thus far undefeated in the AWF. The crowd is going crazy here Larry! What are your thoughts on Hook?”
Larry Zbysko: “Look, the kid’s impressive, but get a haircut!”
Open Challenge Match
Ilya Dragunov with Lana, Dan Lambert and Donald Trump vs Hook
Bios:Interview:Ilya Dragunov: Think NXT Dragunov, but also think Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, the Russian has been undefeated for his first 12 AWF matches. Entrance music: The Soviet national anthem.
Lana: Think early WWE Lana when she was with Rusev, but also think Drago’s wife in Rocky IV, she’s the sexy Russian who wears a skirt suit and the skirt is pretty short.
Dan Lambert: Think AEW Dan Lambert, he’s a brash promoter of his talent.
Donald Trump: Think current day Donald Trump, the former President loves making a buck as much as he loves the Eastern European women.
The Harris Brothers: Think late WCW Harris Brothers, Donald Trump’s personal security kick ass and ask questions later. They’re also not afraid to aid in coverups or other nefarious activities.
Hook: Think AEW Hook, he too has been undefeated since his AWF debut. Entrance music: His original AEW theme “The Chairman’s Intent”.
Renee Paquette: “Thank you Excalibur. Gentlemen, I’m with…”
Jeff Jarrett: “Renee, you are here with J E double F, J A double R E double T, that’s double J, Jeff Jarrett. And Renee, not only are you with the most talented wrestler in the AWF, but you’re also with the most talented musician in the AWF. And in addition to that Renee, I’m the AWF Hardcore Champion!”
Renee Paquette: “Well Jeff, that makes tonight a big night for you as not only is your hardcore title on the line, but the winner takes all so to speak as there’s also an AWF recording contract up for grabs as well.”
Jeff Jarrett: “You know what Renee, the fact that I have to actually compete with a thug like New Jack for a recording contract? Not only am I the greatest musician in the AWF, but I”m also the greatest musician in rasslin’ history. I have a beautiful voice and I can play gittarr like nobody else.”
Renee Paquette: “You mean that you can play guitar like nobody else so long as you haven’t splintered it over your opponent’s head!”
Jeff Jarrett: “Well Renee, I ain’t the Hardcore Champion for nuthin’ now am I.”
Renee Paquette: “I would’n’t get ahead of yourself just yet Jeff as New Jack is going to be your toughest challenger to date. Let’s say he wins, hypothetically. What sort of record do you think he’d record with an AWF recording contract?”
Jeff Jarrett: “Hehe, well New Jack ain’t gonna win jack tonight, but to answer your question I suspect he’d record a gangsta rap album. Well lemme tell ya Renee, rap is crap!”
Renee Paquette: “OK, back to you Excalibur and Larry.”
AWF Women’s Championship Match
Jade Cargill (C) with her Baddies Jamie Noble and Danhausen vs “The Beast” Shayna Baszler
Bios:Interview:Jade Cargill: Think “I’m that bitch” Jade Cargill from AEW, she is the greatest women’s champion in the history of the AWF as she’s never been defeated.
Entrance music: Current AEW theme
Jamie Noble: Think Southern guy Jamie Noble from the WWE from the early 2000s, his career having stalled he’s latched on to a winner in Jade Cargill. He comes with cutoff jean shorts and a tank top.
Danhausen: Think AEW Danhausen as well as the social media star, Danhausen is happy to be a Baddie because he thinks Jade Cargill is very evil. So happy in fact, he had a good necklace made that says “Jade” in diamonds that he always wears.
Shayna Baszler: Think WWE Baszler in her prime, she’s the newest AWF women’s competitor and unlike everyone else she looks as though she has the potential to be the first competitor to defeat Jade Cargill.
Entrance music: WWE themeRenee Paquette: “So I”m here with none other than the AWF Trios Champions The Fabulous Freebirds. Tonight guys you face a group that really seems to have gotten the better of you in recent weeks in The Wyatt Family. How do you think you’ll fare tonight?”
Terry Gordy: “Lemme tell you somethin’ Renee. I ain’t gonna say The Freebirds are the best wrestlers in the World, and I ain’t gonna say we’re the worst. What I am gonna say though is that we can stand toe-to-toe with any other team in the World today, and that includes The Wyatts! The difference tonight though is that this is a cage match and ain’t nobody defeated us yet in a steel cage!”
Buddy Rogers: “A lot of people don’t like us Renee, but they damn well respect us! Tonight we’re gonna show The Wyatts who The Freebirds really are and you can bet you’re bottom dollar that they’ll respect us after tonight’s match because we’ll still be the champions!”
Michael PS Hayes: “You know what baby, the boys are back in town! The boys are back in town and we’re not here to mess around. So Bray Wyatt and those two goons you call family, get everything you’ve got together tonight because when you walk to the ring tonight you ain’t walkin’ down the aisle. You’re walkin’ down Bad Street and at the end of that street is The Freebirds’ house and that’s a steel cage baby! A lot of people have walked down Bad Street, but we’re the only ones that have walked off of it!”
AWF Hardcore Championship and AWF Recording Contract Match
Jeff Jarrett (C) vs New Jack
Bios:Interview:Jeff Jarrett: Think Jeff Jarrett in the WWE before he went to WCW as well as early WCW Jarrett, the big talkin’ Tennessee native has found his niche in the hardcore division. In fact, he’s been the champion for some six months as he’s found his guitars come in handy when it comes to deciding a match.
Entrance music: Jeff Jarrett’s first WCW theme.
New Jack: Think a little Smokey Mountain Wrestling New Jack mixed with some ECW New Jack, the hardcore icon is looking to become the AWF Hardcore Champion for the second time. He won’t be without his shopping cart that includes not only a vacuum cleaner amongst other means of violence, but also a guitar of his own.
Entrance music: “Natural Born Killaz” by Dr Dre and Ice Cube.
Renee Paquette: “New Jack, New Jack, a quick moment! Now New Jack, not only are you the new AWF Hardcore Champion, but you also have won the first AWF recording contact. What can we expect from the first AWF album?”
New Jack: “You know what Renee, Imma make me a COUNTRY album! Imma make me geetarr stringin’, redneck singin’, cowboy blingin’ COUNTRY album! And you know what Renee, it’s gonna be at the top of the charts cuz all those redneck Jeff Jarrett fans is gunna buy it like hot cakes! Shout out to my homeboy Kenny Rogers and shout out to my homegirl Dolly Parton!”
Renee Paquette: “Well you’ll need to get a new guitar since you broke yours over Jeff Jarrett’s head.”
New Jack: “Nah Renee, ain’t nuthin’. I got this here geetarr.”
Renee Paquette: “But that’s Jeff’s guitar.”
New Jack: “And this here’s his cowboy hat. You see Renee, I’m ready to hit the studio right now. ‘Beat ‘em up, slap ‘em round, kick ‘em down, Rawhide…”.
Renee Paquette: “OK guys, well there you just had your new AWF Hardcore Champion and soon to be recording artist New Jack there.”
Excalibur: “And he’s already got his first track Larry.”
Larry Zbysko: “Yeah, great. Now all he needs is a cowbell. He’ll even be able to use in the studio and the ring.”
Excalibur: “Well, I guess that’s why you’re the color man Larry.”
Larry Zbysko: “And I guess you’re wearing that mask because you’re an Adonis.”
Excalibur. “OK, well next up we have the AWF World Tag Team match with the champion Lucho Bros facing Jimmy Hart’s newest tag team Los Conquistadors.”
Larry Zbysko: “Well Jimmy Hart isn’t a slouch as he’s already got them a title shot.”
Excalibur: “That’s right Larry. He promised them that if they signed with him he’d get them that title shot and he’s delivered right away.”
AWF World Tag Team Championship Match
Lucha Bros (C) vs Los Conquistadors w/ “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart
Bios:
Interview:The Lucha Bros: Think AEW Lucha Bros, they won the tag team titles from The Fabulous Rougeaus. The high-flyers are arguably the tag team in all of wrestling today and always put on a show.
Entrance music: Current AEW theme
“The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart: Think 1980s WWE Jimmy Hart, megaphone in hand, “The Mouth of the South” is one of the most successful managers in AWF history. However, with his proteges The Fabulous Rougeaus having lost their tag team titles and failed in subsequent rematches, Hart was seemingly without a viable tag team to manage until he came up with a plan.
Los Conquistadors: Signed by Jimmy Hart only a month ago, the team has never enjoyed any success much less been tag team champions in any territory much less the prestigious AWF. However, in short order Jimmy Hart has delivered a title shot to go along with the promise of fame and fortune, but there are those in the AWF who think there’s something else afoot there.
Entrance music: Mexican mariachi music.Renee Paquette: “Excalibur, I’m here with none other than ‘The Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart and the new AWF Tag Team Champions Los Conquistadors.”
Jimmy Hart: “Now listen here Renee baby, it’s Les Conquistadors and not Los Conquistadors.”
Conquistador 1: “Oui.”
Conquistador 2: “Oui. Oui.”
Renee Paquette: “Jimmy Hart, Los Conquistadors are from Mexico though. Why are you saying ‘Les’ Conquistadors and why are Conquistador Uno and Conquistador Dos speaking French?”
Jimmy Hart: “Now look here Renee baby, these two men are your new tag team champions and they deserve your respect. And they’re not speaking French, they’re speaking French Canadian!”
Conquistador 2: “Oui.”
Conquistador 1: “Oui. Oui.”
Jimmy Hart: “And while we’re at it Renee, it’s Conquistador Une and Conquistador Deux baby!”
Renee Paquette: “Wait a second. I’m getting word from our producer that we’ve got a live feed from your locker room. Now Jimmy Hart, who are those two men tied up in Los Conquistadors’ lock room?”
Jimmy Hart: “How the heck would we know! Now Renee baby, we gotta hit the road because we’ve got a flight back to Quebec City tonight!”
Conquistador 1: “Oui.”
Conquistador 2: “Oui, un val vers la ville de Quebec.”
Renee Paquette: “I don’t know what’s going on here Excalibur, but there go the new tag team champions.”
Excalibur: “Well it seems to me as though ‘Les’ Conquistadors having a striking resemblance to The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers!”
Larry Zbysko: “Well they’re not the only ones wearing masks, so you’d know.”
Excalibur: “Thanks Larry. OK, now we’re going to basement of the arena here and I don’t know what…. All I can see is a lantern…“
Bray Wyatt: “Freebirds. We were raised in the swamps in and around Lafayette, Louisiana. Lafayette, Louisiana may be a long way from Bad Street, but we’re going to walk to the end of that street and I wouldn’t want to be y’all when The Wyatts enter your house. Tonight Freebirds, The Wyatt Family will be the ones taking flight and becoming the new AWF Trios champions. You see, tonight the ‘free birds’ will be caged and when The Wyatt Family is finished with you and the people ask ‘whatever happened to The Freebirds’ I’ll tell them, ‘follow the buzzards.’ Hahahahaha….”
Excalibur: “OK, well on to the next match.”
Larry Zbysko: “What a creep that guy is!”
Excalibur: “The match we have up next Larry should really get you off your seat. It’s the AWF Talent of the Year match between “Hangman” Adam Page and Will Ospreay, two phenomenal AWF talents and two of the top talents in the World of wrestling today and it seems as though their respective pride has caused a little tension leading up to this match.”
AWF Talent of the Year Match
“Hangman” Adam Page vs Will Ospreay
Bios:Interview:“Hangman” Adam Page: Think modern day AEW Page, the lone cowboy has taken the AWF by storm this year.
Entrance Theme: Current AEW theme
Will Ospreay: Think modern day Will Ospreay, the AWF newcomer has also taken the AWF by storm.
Entrance Theme: Current AEW theme
Renee Paquette: “Thanks guys. I’m here with none other than Rob van Dam. Tonight Rob you face Pac who seems motivated to say the least to take your title. So my question for you Rob, is are you as motivated as Pac to win tonight?”
Rob van Dam: “Hehe. You know what Renee, I’m just as motivated as any of the boys in the back here.”
Renee Paquette: “So are you going to win tonight?”
Rob van Dam: “You never know Renee, but I’m confident…”
Renee Paquette: “Whoa, wait a second here! PAC, PAC! You’re not slated to be a part of this interv…”
Pac: “Oi, you sound really motivated ta me don’t ya boy? Some champion you are.”
Rob van Dam: “Whoa, Bro. You need to chill, this is…”
Pac: “What did you just call me? What the FOOK did you just call me? I’m not your ‘Bro’ and don’t ever tell me ta ‘chill’!”
Rob van Dam: “Hehe, I got your whole schtick man, and I like it, but…”
Pac: “My ‘schtick’? The fook are you on aboot? And what is so damn funny? Are you fookin’ high? Are ye? You’re fookin’ high! I ken see it! You’re the fookin’ champ and you’re fookin’ high! You don’t deserve that title and tonight I’m going ta take it off ya!”
Rob van Dam: “You know what man, I really respect you and you’re impressive. The way you can come on here and get really pissed off, over nothing, is really impressive bro, it is. And I think I’ve figured out the source of your anger. It’s that all the fan’s always chant the name of their favorite AWF superstar and the Champion, ROB… VAN… DAM!”
AWF Trios Championship Match with “Bad Street” Rules in a Steel Cage
The Fabulous Freebirds (C) vs The Wyatt Family
Bios:Interview:Bray Wyatt: In terms of look he's the very early Bray Wyatt of Florida wrestling and TNA, but in terms of physique he's the The Fiend. New to the AWF he and his Wyatt Family have made quite the splash and his promos are like nothing the AWF fans have ever seen.
Entrance Theme: Wyatt Family theme
Rowan: Rowan is the first Wyatt Family member to join the group who wasn't directly related to Bray Wyatt himself. However Rowan is a childhood friend of Wyatt's when they grew up together in northwestern Florida. A monster in the ring whose loyalty to Bray Wyatt is beyond question. Think Rowan of the Wyatt Family with the green jumpsuit and white sheep mask.
Entrance Theme: Wyatt Family theme
"The Black Sheep" (Braun Strowman): His The newest member of The Wyatt Family, The Black Sheep has left a path of destruction in his wake. Relatively unknown apart from the physical monster and imposing figure he is in and even out of the ring. identity is revealed in the match notes, but the Black Sheep is an imposing figure. He wears old,dirty jeans, a dirty white tank top with a cutoff army shirt jacket over it.
Entrance Theme: Wyatt Family theme
Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy: Think early 80s Gordy of the Freebirds, he’s one of the toughest SOBs in the AWF and not afraid to mix it up with anyone else. Of course wielding a cowboy boot hasn’t hurt his career any.
Entrance Theme: “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Michael “PS” Hayes: Think early 80s Hayes of the Freebirds, the “talker” of the Freebirds is always popular with the ladies regardless of whether or not The Freebirds are fan favorites or not.
Entrance Theme: “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Buddy “Jack” Roberts: Think mid to late Roberts (to shave off a few years), don’t let his size fool you as Roberts is a Freebird for a reason and that reason being he can mix it up.”
Entrance theme: “Freebird” by Lynyrd SkynyrdRenee Paquette: “I’m here with Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner, and tonight…”
Buff Bagwell: “Let me help you out Renee. TONIGHT, Buff, will be the stuff, and the ladies won’t be able to get enough!”
Renee Paquette: “Actually Buff, I was going to say that tonight Scott Steiner has a title match against Rick Rude and Scott if I could just get a word…”
Scott Steiner: “You can get anything you want baby. You ever been with a real man?”
Renee Paquette: “Actually, I’m married to…”
Scott Steiner: “I said a REAL man.”
Renee Paquette: “OK, well let’s stay on topic here. Tonight you face a real man and that man’s name is Rick Rude.”
Scott Steiner: “You know what Rick Rude, Big Poppa Pump isn’t gonna lie. You’ve got an impressive physique… but it looks to me like you skipped leg day! And while you might think you’re a ladies man dancin’ like a Chippendales dancer with that cheesy 70s porn star hair and mustache, you’re not the Big Bad Booty Daddy. You might get some ladies when you go back to that hick town of Robbinsdale, Minnesota, but when Big Poppa Pump goes to any town all his freaks come around . ‘Cause you see, I’m a genetic freak, and I’m the man with the largest arms in the World. You see Renee, size DOES matter, whether I’m in the ring or outta the ring. When all my freaks are horizontal, they appreciate size and they know they don’t have to wait for the Earth to rotate on a 480 degree axis to create an Equinox so they can see the Big Dipper. All they gotta do is call the Big Poppa ‘cause I’m the man with the Big Dipper and satisfaction is comin’ when I go behind… and do the bump and grind… and it’s only a matter of time… because they call me the Big Bad Booty Daddy. So Rick Rude, realize this. I care about only two things in this World. My freaks and my peaks. And when I beat your ass down tonight and I’m about to put you in the Steiner Recliner I’m gonna whisper in your ear ‘size does matter, BITCH!’”
AWF Television Championship Match
Rob Van Dam (C) vs “The Bastard” Pac
Bios:Interview:Rob Van Dam: Think late ECW and early WWE Van Dam, the high-flyer is one of the AWF’s top talents. Not only is he a worth Television champion in the ring, but Monday night Turmoil’s ratings always go up when he has a match.
Entrance music: WWE theme
“The Bastard” Pac: Think AEW Pac, the self-titled “bastard” is exactly that. However, he has chops in the ring to back it up.
Renee Paquette: “Excalibur, Larry, I am here with the AWF World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan. Now Daniel Bryan, tonight you face Sting for the first time since won the championship from him some six months ago. However, in the last month or so Sting has been tormenting you…”
Daniel Bryan: “Damnit Renee! I’m not being tormented! I’m the champion now. Sting’s crass and selfish behavior only ever held me back because he wouldn’t give me a title shot. Sting, with his bleach-blonde hair, his face paint, his shiny AWF title…. Sting was the symbol of the despicable, ignorant masses that are the AWF universe. I am the symbol of change. I don’t color my hair. I don’t paint my face. I threw away the shiny title belt for this new World Heavyweight belt. And I’m considered dangerous because of my ideas and that’s why people fear me.”
Renee Paquette: “I think people fear you Daniel because you viciously attacked Sting, wiping off his face paint and trying to un-bleach his hair.”
Daniel Bryan: “I told everyone Renee that when I became champion I would introduce new symbols. I am the new symbol of the AWF. I am the symbol of excellence. I am the symbol of what a real champion should be.”
Renee Paquette: “Well Daniel, Sting seems to be a new symbol for the fans this past month as he looks a different man even up in the rafters of an arena.”
Daniel Bryan: “Renee, the entire AWF universe is fickle. Sting a symbol for the AWF fans? They used to cheer for me Renee. And now they don’t. Now they cheer for Sting. Well that’s fine by me. ‘Yes’ is dead. It’s DEAD. I am here to make wrestling better. I am here to make wrestling real. I am here to make the AWF a better place and when all of you fickle AWF fans are silent when I come to the ring, I know I’m changing wrestling for the better while Sting is just out there for the fans. And Sting. You think you’re some sort of anti-hero, some sort of loner like me. Well tonight Sting, when I get through with you and the AWF universe watches in silence, you’ll really feel what it’s like to be alone.”
AWF United States Heavyweight Championship Match
“Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner (C) with Buff Bagwell vs “Ravishing” Rick Rude
Bio:Interview:“Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner: Think WCW “Big Poppa Pump”, Steiner is one of the toughest competitors in the AWF. The United States Champion cares as much about his pecks and glutes as he does the title, but he also loves his hoochies.
Entrance music: WCW theme
Buff Bagwell: Think WCW Buff when he was with Steiner, Bagwell loves hangin’ with Steiner because all they do lift weights and hit the ladies every day.
Entrance music: Same theme as Steiner
“Ravishing” Rick Rude: Think 80s Rude, the self-styled “ravishing” one is a huge hit with the ladies. He’s also a tough competitor in the squared circle and there’s more to Rude than just his good looks.
Entrance music: 80s WWE theme
Excalibur: “Well it’s time for the main event Larry, the AWF World Heavyweight Title match between the challenger Sting and the champion Daniel Bryan. Now how we got here is really incredible as Daniel Bryan went from a fan favorite to one of the most hated, one of the most ruthless and one of the most dangerous AWF World Heavyweight Champions ever.”
Larry Zbysko: “Yeah, it was a shocking turn from Daniel Bryan, but I have to applaud him for it because now he’s the champion. He made the change and it paid off for him.”
Excalibur: “After Daniel Bryan’s vicious attack on Sting, he’s not the only one who is changed. This past month we’ve seen a new Sting, a darker Sting. Gone is the blonde hair, gone is the colorful face paint, gone are the Stinger shouts.”
Larry Zbysko: “Well you’ve got that right. The guy hasn’t said a word. Still, we don’t know what Sting is going to be able to do against Daniel Bryan. Remember, Daniel Bryan is the one who took way the blonde hair and the colorful face paint. He’s the one who silenced one of the greatest AWF champions ever. And if you ask me Daniel Bryan looks even more focused and more dangerous since he won the title.”
Excalibur: “I don’t disagree Larry…”
Larry Zbysko: “Of course you don’t!”
Excalibur: “As I was saying, I don’t disagree, but I think everything Daniel Bryan has done to Sting, everything that Daniel Bryan has done as champion, it’s changed Sting and I think he’s more dangerous and more focused than when he was champion.”
Larry Zbysko: “Well there’s only one way we’re going to find out and it’s not from talking about it all night.”
Excalibur: “Correct, and the moment of truth has now arrived Larry, and there go the lights.”
Larry Zbysko: “I can’t see a damn thing!”
Excalibur: “Nor can I. And now the lights are back and there’s Sting.”
Larry Zbysko: “Yeah, but he’s just standing there facing the turnbuckle with his back to ramp.”
Excalibur: “And now he comes the AWF World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan…”
AWF World Heavyweight Championship Match
Daniel Bryan (C) vs Sting
Bios:Daniel Bryan: Think WWE “environmentalist” Daniel Bryan in appearance, generally wearing a flannel with his wrestling trunks on the way to the ring. Arguably the best technical wrestler in the World, the AWF World Champion used to be a big fan favorite until he turned. Now he hates most things AWF and is looking remold the organization in his liking. He started by dumping the AWF World Heavyweight Championship in the garbage and replacing it with his own belt.
Entrance music: Bryan’s 2019 WWE theme
Sting: Think WCW “Crow” Sting. One of the all time greatest wrestlers in the AWF, “surfer” Sting was a five time World Heavyweight Champion before losing the title to Bryan. Now, his career ever altered, he looks to get his revenge on Daniel Bryan, whether that means winning back his title or not.
Entrance music: Sting’s “Crow” theme from WCW
-VS-
HandsomeHollywood:
NACW Pump It Up!
Commentary team: Kevin Kelly & David Marquez
Tag Team Pig-Pen Match
“Top Flight” Dante & Darius Martin vs
“Too Much” Brian Christopher & Scotty Taylor w/ “Sweet ‘N Sour” Larry Sweeney
Singles Match
“The Last Scion” Brodie Lee w/ Billy Corgan vs
Tajiri
Tag Team Match
“The Honor League” Christopher Nowinski & Damien Sandow (w/ Alexandra York) vs
Arn Anderson & Big Boss Man (w/ Brock Anderson)
2-on-1 Handicapped match
Karrion Kross (w/ Scarlett) vs
“The Headbangers” Mosh & Thrasher (w/ Luna Vachon)
Falls Count Anywhere Singles Match
“Captain Charisma” Christian Cage w/ Raquel Rodriguez vs
Ricochet w/ Kacy Catanzaro
Tag Team Match for the NACW Tag Team Championships
“The Kings of Wrestling” Cesaro & Kassius Ohno vs (c)
“The Acclaimed” Max Castor & Anthony Bowens (w/ Francine)
No Holds Barred Match for the NACW World Heavyweight Championship
Mankind (c) (w/ Mikey Whipwreck) vs
Bob Backlund (w/ Eve Torres & EC3)
Special Guest Enforcer: Ron Simmons
I Quit Bullrope Match
CM Punk vs Dusty Rhodes
Commentary team: Kevin Kelly & David Marquez
Tag Team Pig-Pen Match
“Top Flight” Dante & Darius Martin vs
“Too Much” Brian Christopher & Scotty Taylor w/ “Sweet ‘N Sour” Larry Sweeney
The Build: For weeks, Too Much have been racking up wins on NACW Sunday Action! against all comers. Critics have been vocal against Too Much and their inability to win matches on their own merit, rather than resorting to dirty tricks with the help of their manager and image consultant Larry Sweeney, against those who Too Much have bestowed the title of “filthy pigs” upon. Too Much has gone as far as to sanitize their hands in the ring to clean themselves of the filthy pigs’ germs post-match.
Top Flight was able to defeat Too Much after turning the tables on them when using Scott Taylor’s bottle of hand sanitizer against him, blinding him before a roll-up.
This issue must be settled, and in the most fitting way Top Flight could think of. A pig pen match. In order to win, one team must throw their opponents into the slop of a pig’s pen at ringside!
Too Much has their reputation and cleanliness on the line, but Top Flight looks to leap frog up the ladder of NACW Tag Team Championship challengers. Who will prevail in this sure-to-please, high octane show opener!?
Top Flight was able to defeat Too Much after turning the tables on them when using Scott Taylor’s bottle of hand sanitizer against him, blinding him before a roll-up.
This issue must be settled, and in the most fitting way Top Flight could think of. A pig pen match. In order to win, one team must throw their opponents into the slop of a pig’s pen at ringside!
Too Much has their reputation and cleanliness on the line, but Top Flight looks to leap frog up the ladder of NACW Tag Team Championship challengers. Who will prevail in this sure-to-please, high octane show opener!?
Singles Match
“The Last Scion” Brodie Lee w/ Billy Corgan vs
Tajiri
The Build: Billy Corgan has been one of the least popular people to the NACW crowd. Presenting wrestlers he finds from all over the world when on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins. Recently, he has been touting the arrival of “The Last Scion”, Brodie Lee.
Corgan claims Brodie Lee is the way of the future infused with tradition of the past, and will save professional wrestling.
Tajiri finds himself on Corgan’s enemy list, as he let slip he had never heard of the Smashing Pumpkins after Corgan clarified to Tajiri that he does not, in fact, smash pumpkins for a living. Corgan looks to make Tajiri victim #1 of his new client.
Corgan claims Brodie Lee is the way of the future infused with tradition of the past, and will save professional wrestling.
Tajiri finds himself on Corgan’s enemy list, as he let slip he had never heard of the Smashing Pumpkins after Corgan clarified to Tajiri that he does not, in fact, smash pumpkins for a living. Corgan looks to make Tajiri victim #1 of his new client.
Tag Team Match
“The Honor League” Christopher Nowinski & Damien Sandow (w/ Alexandra York) vs
Arn Anderson & Big Boss Man (w/ Brock Anderson)
The Build: Chris Nowinski and Damien Sandow are two of the smartest men in all of wrestling, let along NACW. They love giving their symposiums to the NACW crowd, and staging healthy debates between NACW wrestlers. Once they added Dean York to their corner, they have become a legitimate threat in the stacked NACW tag division.
Sandow and Nowinski have taken to bullying Brock Anderson backstage. Claiming he is a neanderthal and teaching him about CTE, something his father Arn certainly must have. In a cruel twist, Nowinski and Sandown even hired a phony doctor to break the news to Brock he has a concussion, from birth, and will never be able to wrestle again.
Finally Brock told his father about this, which threw Double-A into a rage. Arn called up his buddy, law enforcement officer Big Boss Man, to help defend his son’s honor against The Honor League.
If the Honor League wins, both Brock and Arn must retire from in-ring competition. But if Arn and Boss Man win, Sandow and Nowinski must spend a week in jail with their only daily reprieve being anti-bullying workshops developed by the local police.
With so much on the line, who will come out victorious on NACW PUMP IT UP!?
Sandow and Nowinski have taken to bullying Brock Anderson backstage. Claiming he is a neanderthal and teaching him about CTE, something his father Arn certainly must have. In a cruel twist, Nowinski and Sandown even hired a phony doctor to break the news to Brock he has a concussion, from birth, and will never be able to wrestle again.
Finally Brock told his father about this, which threw Double-A into a rage. Arn called up his buddy, law enforcement officer Big Boss Man, to help defend his son’s honor against The Honor League.
If the Honor League wins, both Brock and Arn must retire from in-ring competition. But if Arn and Boss Man win, Sandow and Nowinski must spend a week in jail with their only daily reprieve being anti-bullying workshops developed by the local police.
With so much on the line, who will come out victorious on NACW PUMP IT UP!?
2-on-1 Handicapped match
Karrion Kross (w/ Scarlett) vs
“The Headbangers” Mosh & Thrasher (w/ Luna Vachon)
The Build: The Headbangers, along with their rocker groupie Luna Vachon, have slowly endeared themselves to the fans of NACW. Whether it’s their high-energy entrance, rebellious attitude or high flying finisher The Stage Dive, they have been consistently pleasing crowds for some time now. With growing support for tag title shots, the Headbangers have been riding high.
Unfortunately for the Bangers, they’re next on a list. A list written in blood, broken bones and printed on sinew. A list wielded by one, Karrion Kross and his femme fatale Scarlett. Attacking Mosh and Thrasher at a live show and destroying their stereo, and snapping each and every CD they own in half, Kross has issued a challenge to the rocking duo. Beat him, if they can survive.
Unfortunately for the Bangers, they’re next on a list. A list written in blood, broken bones and printed on sinew. A list wielded by one, Karrion Kross and his femme fatale Scarlett. Attacking Mosh and Thrasher at a live show and destroying their stereo, and snapping each and every CD they own in half, Kross has issued a challenge to the rocking duo. Beat him, if they can survive.
Falls Count Anywhere Singles Match
“Captain Charisma” Christian Cage w/ Raquel Rodriguez vs
Ricochet w/ Kacy Catanzaro
The Build: Captain Charisma Christian Cage wants the NACW World Heavyweight Championship. The problem? He’s too chicken to compete in a match with Mankind! Christian wants the rewards but does not want to put the work in. His attitude and demands have irked fan favorite Ricochet. Ricochet wants a shot at the NACW champion too. But he isn’t chicken. He actually offered Eric Bischoff to wrestle Christian at Pump It Up to show he’s up for any challenge.
Christian, infuriated, has decided he wants something else too. Kacy Catanzaro, Ricochet’s girlfriend! Christian says he can’t stop imagining the things Kacy must be able to do…in the bedroom! Christian was even caught trying to peep with a camera through Ricochet’s bedroom window, while on Raquel Rodriguez’ shoulders, for a live broadcast of the Peep Show!
Ricochet needs to defend Kacy’s honor, as well as teach Christian a lesson in humility and hard work. Is the Instant Classic too much for The One and Only? And that’s not even mentioning Christian’s hired muscle, Raquel Rodriguez!
Christian, infuriated, has decided he wants something else too. Kacy Catanzaro, Ricochet’s girlfriend! Christian says he can’t stop imagining the things Kacy must be able to do…in the bedroom! Christian was even caught trying to peep with a camera through Ricochet’s bedroom window, while on Raquel Rodriguez’ shoulders, for a live broadcast of the Peep Show!
Ricochet needs to defend Kacy’s honor, as well as teach Christian a lesson in humility and hard work. Is the Instant Classic too much for The One and Only? And that’s not even mentioning Christian’s hired muscle, Raquel Rodriguez!
Tag Team Match for the NACW Tag Team Championships
“The Kings of Wrestling” Cesaro & Kassius Ohno vs (c)
“The Acclaimed” Max Castor & Anthony Bowens (w/ Francine)
The Build: They are not Claudio Castignoli and Chris Hero. That’s the first thing The Kings of Wrestling want you to know. You see, when the Kings of Wrestling were indie darlings working the circuit, they got nothing from the fans. Cesaro claims to still have stacks and stacks of unsold signed 8x10s fans begged him to produce. They learned the small time is just that, the small time. They go where the money is. Cesaro and Kassius Ohno command higher salaries. That’s the way it is, and you better learn to like it.
The Acclaimed see it another way. To them, it’s the small time fans who made them. The small time fans who came to see them in those tiny gyms. The small town fans who could only afford merch like 8x10s. The small time fans who learn your catchphrases, and brag about knowing you before your big break, who give you the confidence and experience to even wrestle in the first place.
The Acclaimed have added Francine to their ranks, as the original Queen of Extreme, who loves to scissor with Bowens before matches.
The Acclaimed plan to teach The Kings of Wrestling who they should really thank for their paychecks, while Cesaro and Ohno want to bring the Acclaimed crashing back down to earth and what they call, reality.
The Acclaimed see it another way. To them, it’s the small time fans who made them. The small time fans who came to see them in those tiny gyms. The small town fans who could only afford merch like 8x10s. The small time fans who learn your catchphrases, and brag about knowing you before your big break, who give you the confidence and experience to even wrestle in the first place.
The Acclaimed have added Francine to their ranks, as the original Queen of Extreme, who loves to scissor with Bowens before matches.
The Acclaimed plan to teach The Kings of Wrestling who they should really thank for their paychecks, while Cesaro and Ohno want to bring the Acclaimed crashing back down to earth and what they call, reality.
No Holds Barred Match for the NACW World Heavyweight Championship
Mankind (c) (w/ Mikey Whipwreck) vs
Bob Backlund (w/ Eve Torres & EC3)
Special Guest Enforcer: Ron Simmons
The Build: Do you believe in a better NACW? That’s the question Bob Backlund has for you viewers. He does. And so does his campaign manager, Eve Torres.
Eve first tapped EC3, nephew of investor Dixie Carter to topple Mankind for the NACW Championship. Eve is a real mover and shaker and fancies herself a molder of champions. It was Mankind’s infatuation with Eve that helped him win the NACW championship in the first place. If she can make you, she can break you. After EC3’s failure she knew she needed a new horse to back. A man with experience, skill, and a proven track record. Enter, Mr. Backlund. After his ill-fated campaign was thwarted at NACW Push It To The Limit last year, Backlund has been seen less and less. Once Eve laid eyes on Backlund, she knew he was the one who could finally get her the ultimate prize.
Mankind has been on a popular run as NACW Champion after winning the title when CM Punk was stripped last year. With his old buddy Mikey Whipwreck watching his back and giving him comradery, he’s been able to dispatch any and all challengers. Mankind and Eve have a messy history, with Eve using her charms to bewitch Mankind. It wasn’t until Mankind found out Eve didn’t have all confidence in him, and had been helping him win matches, that Mankind got wise and kicked her to the curb. Throw in an apparent budding romance between his daughter Noelle and Eve’s new himbo, EC3, and you could say Mankind has his plate full.
After having it ruled neither man could use their signature submission moves due to Backlund’s crossface chickenwing being career-shortening for his opponents, and Mankind’s Mr. Socko-sheathed Mandible Claw due to Backlund’s petition, both submissions are on in this literal no hold barred match to settle the score. And with All-American hero Ron Simmons as enforcer, he’s going to have his hands full on the outside of the ring!
Will Eve reign supreme with Backlund as her right-hand man? Or will Mankind stuff de-feet down Backlund’s gullet? And what about the sparks flying between camps from EC3 and Noelle Foley? The fuse will be lit and ready to blow at PUMP IT UP!
Eve first tapped EC3, nephew of investor Dixie Carter to topple Mankind for the NACW Championship. Eve is a real mover and shaker and fancies herself a molder of champions. It was Mankind’s infatuation with Eve that helped him win the NACW championship in the first place. If she can make you, she can break you. After EC3’s failure she knew she needed a new horse to back. A man with experience, skill, and a proven track record. Enter, Mr. Backlund. After his ill-fated campaign was thwarted at NACW Push It To The Limit last year, Backlund has been seen less and less. Once Eve laid eyes on Backlund, she knew he was the one who could finally get her the ultimate prize.
Mankind has been on a popular run as NACW Champion after winning the title when CM Punk was stripped last year. With his old buddy Mikey Whipwreck watching his back and giving him comradery, he’s been able to dispatch any and all challengers. Mankind and Eve have a messy history, with Eve using her charms to bewitch Mankind. It wasn’t until Mankind found out Eve didn’t have all confidence in him, and had been helping him win matches, that Mankind got wise and kicked her to the curb. Throw in an apparent budding romance between his daughter Noelle and Eve’s new himbo, EC3, and you could say Mankind has his plate full.
After having it ruled neither man could use their signature submission moves due to Backlund’s crossface chickenwing being career-shortening for his opponents, and Mankind’s Mr. Socko-sheathed Mandible Claw due to Backlund’s petition, both submissions are on in this literal no hold barred match to settle the score. And with All-American hero Ron Simmons as enforcer, he’s going to have his hands full on the outside of the ring!
Will Eve reign supreme with Backlund as her right-hand man? Or will Mankind stuff de-feet down Backlund’s gullet? And what about the sparks flying between camps from EC3 and Noelle Foley? The fuse will be lit and ready to blow at PUMP IT UP!
I Quit Bullrope Match
CM Punk vs Dusty Rhodes
The Build: It all started last year when CM Punk no-showed a meet and greet. CM Punk was scheduled and advertised to appear at a signing at a Toys R Us in Winnipeg on a tour. Punk claims he called the office, sent e-mails and texts to all those it would concern. He even texted NACW President Eric Bischoff. Punk was sick. The then-champion had fallen ill with a respiratory condition, and it was quite serious. Not serious enough, says NACW commissioner Dusty Rhodes.
Dusty Rhodes suspended and fined Punk heavily, “into next year!” as the Dream said. President Bischoff was furious to see Dusty hand out a 6-month suspension for such a relatively small infraction, but the Dream didn’t budge. He even retained legal services and threatened Bischoff in the event that he tried to fire Dusty for upholding his duties in the job he was hired to fill. So, the NACW, and its investors were without one of their bigger stars, and their champion for 6-months. The fans stuck by Dusty, as Punk was a selfish and self-righteous heel they could do without. Nevertheless, to say Dusty is unpopular in the office would be an understatement.
Fast forward 6-months later to Punk’s return. Having seemingly skipped the line to challenge for the NACW World Heavyweight Championship he never lost, filling in a spot that was rumored to be earmarked for crowd favorite Richochet. During Punk’s attempt to regain the gold, however, Dusty Rhodes stormed out and demanded the ref disqualify Punk for a blatant closed fist. The fans were robbed of a match, some stick by Dusty and claim it was Punk’s fault, others…begin to drift in another direction.
After hijacking an episode of NACW To The Max, by refusing to leave the ringside area, the Dusty and Punk situation has come to a head. “YOU and your kind were supposed to make this business BETTER for the next generation, and all you’ve done is stood in front of progress in the name of silly traditions nobody gives a shit about. At NACW Pump It Up…I’m going to kick your ass!” said Punk.
“YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’! You ain’t ever walked no mile, you ain’t never set no world ABLAZE and you are NOT the heartbeat of NACW, CM Punk! This Sunday, it’s gonna be unbelievable! It’s going to be inconceivable! It’s gonna be YOUR RECKONIN, baby!” answered Dusty in dueling promos.
With the added stipulations in place, an I Quit Match as well as both competitors being ajoined by a bullrope-cowbell, it’s sure to be an explosive and bloody, furniture-moving type situation at NACW Pump It Up
Dusty Rhodes suspended and fined Punk heavily, “into next year!” as the Dream said. President Bischoff was furious to see Dusty hand out a 6-month suspension for such a relatively small infraction, but the Dream didn’t budge. He even retained legal services and threatened Bischoff in the event that he tried to fire Dusty for upholding his duties in the job he was hired to fill. So, the NACW, and its investors were without one of their bigger stars, and their champion for 6-months. The fans stuck by Dusty, as Punk was a selfish and self-righteous heel they could do without. Nevertheless, to say Dusty is unpopular in the office would be an understatement.
Fast forward 6-months later to Punk’s return. Having seemingly skipped the line to challenge for the NACW World Heavyweight Championship he never lost, filling in a spot that was rumored to be earmarked for crowd favorite Richochet. During Punk’s attempt to regain the gold, however, Dusty Rhodes stormed out and demanded the ref disqualify Punk for a blatant closed fist. The fans were robbed of a match, some stick by Dusty and claim it was Punk’s fault, others…begin to drift in another direction.
After hijacking an episode of NACW To The Max, by refusing to leave the ringside area, the Dusty and Punk situation has come to a head. “YOU and your kind were supposed to make this business BETTER for the next generation, and all you’ve done is stood in front of progress in the name of silly traditions nobody gives a shit about. At NACW Pump It Up…I’m going to kick your ass!” said Punk.
“YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’! You ain’t ever walked no mile, you ain’t never set no world ABLAZE and you are NOT the heartbeat of NACW, CM Punk! This Sunday, it’s gonna be unbelievable! It’s going to be inconceivable! It’s gonna be YOUR RECKONIN, baby!” answered Dusty in dueling promos.
With the added stipulations in place, an I Quit Match as well as both competitors being ajoined by a bullrope-cowbell, it’s sure to be an explosive and bloody, furniture-moving type situation at NACW Pump It Up
-VS-
Habsrule:
Welcome everybody to Habrule’s WrestleMania. Coming to you from Madison Square Gardens in New York City.
Chad Gable vs Tommaso Ciampa
The two men have been battling each other for weeks and have built up a bad grudge. To up the anti the match is a no count out match.
Josh Morrison and Dolph Ziggler vs Bushwhackers
Morrison and Ziggler have been paired together and are doing their typical heel work and have been beating all other tag teams. They make an open challenge for anyone to fight them and Luke and Butch come out to a massive pop.
Solo Sikoa vs Jacob Fatu
Their have been cracks in the Bloodline of late. Solo and the Uso Brothers have been at each other over who will be next in line to be the head of the table. Jacob Fatu comes in as the long lost brother and tries to take over the family legacy.
Sheamus vs Bob Holly
No special stipulations about this match. Just two hard hitting, chest slapping brutes going at it.
Lita (champ) vs Bianca Belair
Woman’s Championship Match
Rated R Lita is the woman’s champ and Bianca is trying to set a good example and show why she is the EST woman’s wrestler ever.
Chris Benoit vs Dynamite Kid
Two very high work rates and physical guys going at it. To motivate both wrestlers it is announced that the winner of this match will get a shot at the Championship Title at the next PPV.
Honky Tonk Man (champ) vs Chris Jericho
Intercontinental Championship
I Quit Match
Honky Tonk Man is the longest running Intercontinental Champion in wrestling history and trying to keep his record going. Rocker Chris Jericho has been mocking Honky and his Elvis impersonation, saying how he is just a fake wannabe musician. He is not a true musician like Fozzy is. The two men have a match and the only way that they can win is to have the other person quit by saying that the other musician is better than them.
Uso’s (champs) vs Briscoe Bros
Tag Team Championship
Ladder Match
Uso’s have been on a run with the tag team belts for a long time but now the Briscoe Brothers have jumped ship and opened the forbidden door. They challenge the Uso’s to a ladder match for the tag team titles.
The Rock (champ) vs Kevin Owens
World Heavyweight Championship
Rock is the champ and has been making fun of Owens. Calling him fat and that he copied all of his moves from past wrestlers. Owens has his Fight Owens Fight mentality and the two have an all out match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Chad Gable vs Tommaso Ciampa
The two men have been battling each other for weeks and have built up a bad grudge. To up the anti the match is a no count out match.
Josh Morrison and Dolph Ziggler vs Bushwhackers
Morrison and Ziggler have been paired together and are doing their typical heel work and have been beating all other tag teams. They make an open challenge for anyone to fight them and Luke and Butch come out to a massive pop.
Solo Sikoa vs Jacob Fatu
Their have been cracks in the Bloodline of late. Solo and the Uso Brothers have been at each other over who will be next in line to be the head of the table. Jacob Fatu comes in as the long lost brother and tries to take over the family legacy.
Sheamus vs Bob Holly
No special stipulations about this match. Just two hard hitting, chest slapping brutes going at it.
Lita (champ) vs Bianca Belair
Woman’s Championship Match
Rated R Lita is the woman’s champ and Bianca is trying to set a good example and show why she is the EST woman’s wrestler ever.
Chris Benoit vs Dynamite Kid
Two very high work rates and physical guys going at it. To motivate both wrestlers it is announced that the winner of this match will get a shot at the Championship Title at the next PPV.
Honky Tonk Man (champ) vs Chris Jericho
Intercontinental Championship
I Quit Match
Honky Tonk Man is the longest running Intercontinental Champion in wrestling history and trying to keep his record going. Rocker Chris Jericho has been mocking Honky and his Elvis impersonation, saying how he is just a fake wannabe musician. He is not a true musician like Fozzy is. The two men have a match and the only way that they can win is to have the other person quit by saying that the other musician is better than them.
Uso’s (champs) vs Briscoe Bros
Tag Team Championship
Ladder Match
Uso’s have been on a run with the tag team belts for a long time but now the Briscoe Brothers have jumped ship and opened the forbidden door. They challenge the Uso’s to a ladder match for the tag team titles.
The Rock (champ) vs Kevin Owens
World Heavyweight Championship
Rock is the champ and has been making fun of Owens. Calling him fat and that he copied all of his moves from past wrestlers. Owens has his Fight Owens Fight mentality and the two have an all out match for the World Heavyweight Championship.