Living two doors down from Johnny’s pregnant wife, Meredith, and the two Gaudreau kids, regular toddler playdates have had to replace the daily visits Monahan spent alongside Johnny the last dozen years.
“The hard thing for me is being around his kids, because it's something that we were really looking forward to, being dads together in the next step of life,” said Monahan on the eve of a visit by the Flames.
“We were young kids in Calgary, we grew up, and our sons are three-and-a-half months apart, so you have them together playing. You do what you can. That's a really tough part.”
Inseparable since they met as young Flames prospects, Johnny and Monny forged a well-documented bromance so powerful that Monahan signed in Columbus last summer to play and live beside his best buddy.
But once tragedy struck, in the form of an alleged drunk driver who killed Gaudreau and his brother Matthew while bicycling on Aug. 29, the hockey world knew that no one outside of the family would take it harder than Monahan.
“I still haven't gotten over it, I don't think I ever will,” said Monahan, staring blankly down at the dressing room floor.
“Ninety percent of the time it doesn't feel real.
“You lose your best friend, your teammate, it’s tough to comprehend.
“When something happens in my life, I’d usually give John a FaceTime. I go through those situations a lot where you want to pick up the phone, call or text him or send him a picture or something, and you realize that's when it hurts.”
Despite wearing a brave face and returning from injury to be the point-per-game player he was in his Calgary heyday alongside Gaudreau, he admits he still has regular breakdowns.
“Yeah, almost every day, to be honest,” he said.
“A lot of different things can set it off.
“Even just driving to the rink, it's basically all I think about. It’s in my head all day, every day.”