I just threw all my Christmas gifts in the dumpster

[Jiminy Cricket]

Because my family got me some horrible ass gifts. My wive, who is an obese cow, still has no idea what I like after 25 years. My children gave me some terrible handmade arts and crafts shit that left me shaking my head at how stupid it was. They have absolutely no talent. These gifts are going right in the dumpster. My pathetic family failed me once again.

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[Tarantula]

Odd, the box of gifts I received from the Jiminy Cricket household had a 24K gold rolex, a Stradivarius violin, and 5 grand in cash. The best was the card wishing me all the best, nothing like the personal touch.

 

[Baby Punisher]

Odd, the box of gifts I received from the Jiminy Cricket household had a 24K gold rolex, a Stradivarius violin, and 5 grand in cash. The best was the card wishing me all the best, nothing like the personal touch.

You may well toss that Rolex in the dumpster too. Rolex doesn't make a 24k piece.