I... I think I may have just committed a crime.

[Masao]

I got my mail a couple of hours ago, and one of them was the credit card invoice from costco.

So I'm sitting down in bed with my checkbook ready to write the check. I open the envelope and I'm like... wait a minute... they're telling me I owe 2000 bucks? It should be more like 300. Wtf is going on?

Then I notice one thing.

The envelope was not addressed to me. It's addressed to a lady who has the same civic number as me but who lives a few streets away.

So, obviously, I guess I committed a crime by opening someone else's mail. But I really didn't realize it until after.

Now that lady lives at about a 2 minute walk from me. but I'm just terrified about bringing the thing to her. I mean I circled the balance with a pen for chrissakes. It looks ridiculous.

And I'm afraid she's a crazy loon who's going to call the cops on me for opening her mail.

Oh boy.

Anyway, so, I'm off to her house now. I think I'm going to drink a bit of alcohol before leaving because I'm honestly terrified. I hope she's not a crazy lady.

Pray for me.

Click to read more...

 

[PanthersPens62]

Thoughts & prayers that she is not insane, but it was definitely an honest mistake on your part. I would seriously doubt you would get in trouble with the law. Keep us posted.

 

[Leafsdude7]

I'm calling the cops on you, you thug. You deserve to have the key thrown away.

People these days.

 

[WeWantTacos]

please please please be the lady from the grocery store

 

[Masao]

please please please be the lady from the grocery store

Oh god no.

Anyway, I rang but there's no one home. I think my heart rate must've been around 200 or something.

I guess I'll try again tomorrow. I didn't want to leave the open envelope there with pen marks on her invoice, its just weird. I suppose if she's still not there tomorrow I probably should just tape the envelope shut and leave it though.

Oh boy, this situation

 

[Pharrell Williams]

do not drink and drive

 

[AnAceOfKidneys]

please please please be the lady from the grocery store

 

[tarheelhockey]

Could you not just put it in her mailbox?

 

[AnAceOfKidneys]

Could you not just put it in her mailbox?

I agree. It should fit in her box, what?

 

[jw2]

Put it in the outgoing mail. Let the post office do your dirty work.

 

[Canadiens1958]

Misdirect

Step on it a few times, spill a drink.Tell her you found it in the street

 

[Masao]

Could you not just put it in her mailbox?

Ya I'll do that tomorrow if she's still not there

 

[tarheelhockey]

Step on it a few times, spill a drink.Tell her you found it in the street

This is a really good idea if you're going to insist on giving it to her personally and somehow don't want it to be awkward.

Ya I'll do that tomorrow if she's still not there

Why not do it right now?

 

[Siamese Dream]

 

[Kairi Zaide]

Scan it. Photoshop the pen marks out. Print it. Seal it in a new enveloppe.

Voilà.

 

[Devourers]

Scan it. Photoshop the pen marks out. Print it. Seal it in a new enveloppe.

Voilà.

Agreed. Then wait until 4am, use a hole-saw to cut a small hole in her roof/ceiling, using fishing wire, slowly lower the envelope into her place. Problem solved with ease.

 

[Roboturner913]

Crazy idea, and I know it's whacky, but bear with me -

Couldn't you just give it back to the mailman?

I mean, considering, you know, it's literally WHAT THEY'RE PAID TO DO

 

[Paris in Flames]

So...uhh...what did she buy?

 

[Masao]

I tried ringing again but no one's home so I just left the envelope in her mailbox

I guess for the rest of her days she's going to wonder why her envelope was opened and why there were pen marks on her invoice

 

[Bob Richards]

They are going to put you to the guillotine in the town square.

 

[Neutrinos]

She'll have to be eliminated

There's no other way out of this

 

[Legionnaire]

RIP Masao.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Brb calling the cops.....

 

[MrFunnyWobbl]

Invite her over for dinner and ssay you got this by accident and opened it

Also, what is she buying for 2k at costco?

 

[WeWantTacos]

She's probably a serial killer who used it as a ploy to lure him over. The 2k was spent on her black widow lair. Masao's probably locked in one of those sweet Costco dog kennels in her basement rn.