- May 1, 2011
- 133,124
- 62,413
Presents.......
Ebleednezer Scrooge was one of the biggest fans of the New Jersey Devils you would ever meet. One of Ebleednezer's favorite hobbies was posting on an internet message board called HF Boards. Where he would sound off on things like the league's goaltenders and those of his favorite team the New Jersey Devils. Ebleednezer was a very harsh critic of the national hockey league's goaltending position. Often times obsessing over it and going out of his way to put players of the position on blast. But there were none who felt the wrath of Ebleednezer more than goaltenders of his beloved New Jersey Devils.
He often times had many different types of emotions and feels when it came to New Jersey Devils goaltenders
But none more than those above.
One night Ebleednezer Scrooge settled in for bed on a rainy, windy, stormy Florida evening. Before Ebleednezer could fall into dreamland, he heard a what sounded like a metal clank. Much like the noise a goal post makes after being struck by a hockey puck. He thought maybe it was something clanking off the side of the house because of all the wind. He yelled out ''WHO IS THERE?''. Ebleednezer rubbed his eyes to get a better look, but when he opened his eyes it looked something like this!
That was the look on Ebleednezer Scrooge's face, but here's what really appeared and it was much more scarier.
Nothing could be more intimidating than four large scary men, wearing masks and wielding sticks.
MY GOODNESS! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?!!!???!!!
At ease Ebleednezer! We are the ghosts of Devils goalies past! We are the guys you turned your back on, even after backing us for a while and in Marty's case about 20 years!
I'm sorry! But you guys sucked at the end! And it was painful watching you people play! And the organization forced some of you to keep playing and it was painful to watch and destroyed memories of the way things were! Well, maybe not for you Marty, but definitely the rest of you.
The ghosts of Devils goalies past tried to reason with Bleed to be a little kinder the men in masks on his favorite team. They did not wish to harm Ebleednezer, but only wished he practiced the same kindness he practices in his day to day life to the thankless men that served and protected the nets for the Devils over the last 40 years.
It was then that Ebleenezer tried to once again turn in for the night. He thought that was over, but it was only the beginning! He heard yet another clanking noise. This time it was two more men in masks, wielding sticks.
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT NOW?!???!
We are the ghosts of Devils goalies present! And we do not like the stuff you've said about us this season! We see you on the HF Boards all day long talking shit about our game. And reviewing all the goals we allow nightly. You've said some very hurtful things about us and we're tired of it. We don't wanna hear your shit anymore! We combined for 5 playoff wins last year! Do you how many Devils goalies you need to go back to get 5 playoff wins out of beyond Marty Brodeur? We win games for the team this year! We don't read you saying nice things about us when we win games 3-2 or 2-1! We've done that a few times in the last couple of weeks! We don't wanna hear or read anymore out of you! Or the next visit will be PAINFUL!
oh boy! Vitek looks kind of goofy, but Akira looks like a potential serial killer! I better be nicer? I don't need another visit like these!
Ebleednezer was scared out of his pants, but was once again trying to settle in for the night. He almost fell asleep completely but opened his eyes and this time saw two more stick wielding men in masks. These men were wearing very different colors from the first 6 men.
PLEASE STOP! PLEASE MAKE THEM GO AWAY! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
WE ARE THE GHOSTS OF DEVILS GOALIES YET TO COME!
We see the awful things you say about us on that website! You say we aren't elite, you say we're old, terrible and washed up. You blame us for things like losing to the Rangers and Shesterkin in the playoffs! And allowing 7 goals behind Dallas Eakins and his shitty, stupid, no defense system! And getting blown up behind the Canes, despite young Kochetkov suffering the same fates! We are tired of your abusive remarks! And the only way we can truly punish you and make you suffer is by becoming Devils goalies! And that's exactly what we'll do! VERY SOON! Maybe you'll see one of us as early as tomorrow? Maybe both of us? Nighty nighty EBLEEDNEZER!
Man....... What a horrible dream that was! But man, that was the best nights sleep I've had in quite some time. 2:30 PM? Holy shit I slept late! Let me check out HF Boards and see what people are saying about the game today.
Ebleednezer hopped on his phone and much to his horror, the first thing he read was *CONFIRMED WITH LINK: DEVILS CLAIM ANTTI RAANTA ON WAIVERS!*
