Difficult Sympathy Cards

[UsernameWasTaken]

What do you write to someone whose sibling just killed herself?

I have a very long time acquaintance - we've known each other since grade 3 (i'm in my 30s) - we used to be really good friends in elementary school - and were at the same schools for undergrad and law school. Although in the last few years we haven't been close but see each other professionally quite a bit. His sister, who I've met a bunch of times but never knew very well, just committed suicide (jumper, with lengthy and serious mental health issues). I didn't go to the funeral - imo it would have been out of place.

Having said that, I want to send a card to him expressing sympathy. I'm struggling to come up with what to write (given I didn't know her too well - and the manner and circumstances of her death were unfortunate to say the least).

How is...

Dear X -

I was saddened to hear about the death of Y. I know this is a very difficult time for your family but I just wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you.


I should add that said acquaintance shared the text of his incredibly profound eulogy on facebook. But I don't know anyway of referencing it without seeming crass.

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[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Sounds good.

 

[Dr Pepper]

Up to you, whether you want to keep it short and sweet, or if possible, maybe add a funny anecdote that involved her, something amusing that she did that you may have noticed.

Since you and this guy are close and have a history, he'd know you're just trying to cheer him up.

 

[UsernameWasTaken]

Up to you, whether you want to keep it short and sweet, or if possible, maybe add a funny anecdote that involved her, something amusing that she did that you may have noticed.

Since you and this guy are close and have a history, he'd know you're just trying to cheer him up.

see that's the thing - we're not currently 'close' - we see each other professionally a lot, but not too much socially (although we have the same social circles). But since I've known him for, like, 25 years I want to send him a card rather than just some stupid emoticon on FB.

the other thing i'm wondering is how to reference the lengthy and profound eulogy that he went on to post on FB after the funeral. What's the polite way to say 'i read the eulogy your posted on facebook and it was really great'

I've come up with 'I read the eulogy for Y you posted on FB. It was very moving and bared witness to your sister's experience the last few years"

^^ sounds kinda stupid, but I feel like I should reference the eulogy his posted b/c it was very lengthy and insightful.

 

[irunthepeg]

What do you write to someone whose sibling just killed herself?

I have a very long time acquaintance - we've known each other since grade 3 (i'm in my 30s) - we used to be really good friends in elementary school - and were at the same schools for undergrad and law school. Although in the last few years we haven't been close but see each other professionally quite a bit. His sister, who I've met a bunch of times but never knew very well, just committed suicide (jumper, with lengthy and serious mental health issues). I didn't go to the funeral - imo it would have been out of place.

Having said that, I want to send a card to him expressing sympathy. I'm struggling to come up with what to write (given I didn't know her too well - and the manner and circumstances of her death were unfortunate to say the least).

How is...

Dear X -

I was saddened to hear about the death of Y. I know this is a very difficult time for your family but I just wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you.


I should add that said acquaintance shared the text of his incredibly profound eulogy on facebook. But I don't know anyway of referencing it without seeming crass.

I would not reference the event but I would say I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and if you need anything, hit me up. Let me buy you a drink, that sort of thing.

 

[tarheelhockey]

I've come up with 'I read the eulogy for Y you posted on FB. It was very moving and bared witness to your sister's experience the last few years"

^^ sounds kinda stupid, but I feel like I should reference the eulogy his posted b/c it was very lengthy and insightful.

That's spot on, I wouldn't change a word of it.

 

[Ceremony]

That's spot on, I wouldn't change a word of it.

I'd change "bared" to "bore."

 

[tony d]

I don't know. Probably just to say you're sorry for their loss and here for them at this time.

 

[Baby Punisher]

Dear X

My condolences. Stay strong during this difficult time.

Sincerely,
Y

 

[tarheelhockey]

Dear X

My condolences. Stay strong during this difficult time.

Sincerely,
Y

Seems rather rude to not even include the person's name.

 

[UsernameWasTaken]

I'd change "bared" to "bore."

Thanks a lot for that. Good catch.

Seems rather rude to not even include the person's name.

More than that, I don't want to just send a card with a one liner - I want to try to write something more meaningful, even if the card gets tossed on the heap.