I am literally filthy rich from building and running a successful fast food empire (not saying which company it is, but if you arch your back enough, you'll figure it out.) Years ago, I saw this guy outside one of my establishments fingering his butthole and holding a sign that said "will lick feet for free" written in what I presume was his own shit so I took pity on the guy and started up a conversation.
Soon enough, we became fast friends, and I even bought him a new Mercedes because I'm like Scrooge f***ing McDuck so whatever. You know what this asshole did? He told me he doesn't like luxury cars!
I haven't spoken to him since.
