Anybody else feel sick to their stomach? (moping thread, now with peanut butter)

[Boom Boom Apathy]

^ Perfect.

 

[Blueline Bomber]

More like this...

Nah, I'm well past that stage. Nothing this team does anymore could surprise me.

- I've seen this team win the Cup on the back of a rookie goaltender.
- I've seen this team pull off an improbable (to say the least) series win by scoring two goals in a minute and a half.
- I've seen this team somehow rack up 50+ wins with a patchwork defense.

On the opposite side:

- I've seen this team fail to make playoffs, despite only having to win a single game at home. In fact, I've seen them do that twice. Both times, in person.
- I've seen this team leading the division with less than 25 games to go, go 16-6-2 to end the year...and still miss the playoffs.
- I've seen this team win 1 game out of 16, lose 14 straight, and whatever hot mess that's happening to the team now.

The Canes could lose the remaining games in the season and it wouldn't surprise me. They could also win all the remaining games in the season and it wouldn't surprise me. This team is just far too bi-polar to draw any real shock at anything they do. So instead, you get this:

 

[FlyingSquirrels]

Holy ****. Post of the ****ing year Northstar. Well done.

 

[NorthStar4Canes]

Nah, I'm well past that stage. Nothing this team does anymore could surprise me.

- I've seen this team win the Cup on the back of a rookie goaltender.
- I've seen this team pull off an improbable (to say the least) series win by scoring two goals in a minute and a half.
- I've seen this team somehow rack up 50+ wins with a patchwork defense.

On the opposite side:

- I've seen this team fail to make playoffs, despite only having to win a single game at home. In fact, I've seen them do that twice. Both times, in person.
- I've seen this team leading the division with less than 25 games to go, go 16-6-2 to end the year...and still miss the playoffs.
- I've seen this team win 1 game out of 16, lose 14 straight, and whatever hot mess that's happening to the team now.

The Canes could lose the remaining games in the season and it wouldn't surprise me. They could also win all the remaining games in the season and it wouldn't surprise me. This team is just far too bi-polar to draw any real shock at anything they do. So instead, you get this:

That may be, but have you seen a million faces and rocked them all?

 

[Blueline Bomber]

That may be, but have you seen a million faces and rocked them all?

Nah, my steel horse was put out to pasture.

 

[DaleCooper]

 

[nobuddy]

We'll make the playoffs.

 

[Novacane]

We'll make the playoffs.

 

[Oenatzu]

We'll make the playoffs.

Gimme some of that meth.

 

[Anton Babchuk]

No, I'm aight. Don't let hockey affect you like you that. It's just a game, played by milionaires and weird little midgets like LaRose. What's the big deal if your hockey team doesn't make the playoffs? You don't get to watch at best a few months more of what is - let's be honest here - often a boring sport in which sometimes nothing happens for entire periods? Not to mention that your team will almost certainly not win the Goblet of Stanley, which means that this whole charade of "playoffs" merely serves to delay the inevitable disappointment.

We are all pawns in a huge money making scheme for the players and a few owners.

And we're all going to die anyway, so who cares?

I feel good.

 

[rocky7]

something clearly ain't right. Yep!

I am definitely a pessimist, and I didn't think they were as good a team as they showed early on, but I didn't think they would just give up on the season the way they have, either. I would love to be a fly on the wall in the locker room, or Muller and JR meetings, just to find out what is going on. Something clearly ain't right.

I was going to point this out sometime, somewhere and here's as good a place as any I suppose. Things were going to hell in that first game against Washington, in Washington. If you can and want to, go and look at that break away off the bat where E. Staal gave Semin that puck and Holtby stopped it. Have a look at the expression on Staal's face immediately after. That look has been there alot prior and since. It's not one of merely frustration. I have said it before and will say it again. There are some very unhealthy and dysfunctional dynamics on this team that I believe have been there all season long for some reason. P.S. The team as a whole may not have been as good as they seemed to be early on, but that first line wasn't too shabby at all. They got figured out - basic hockey 101.

 

[Finlandia WOAT]

No, I'm aight. Don't let hockey affect you like you that. It's just a game, played by milionaires and weird little midgets like LaRose. What's the big deal if your hockey team doesn't make the playoffs? You don't get to watch at best a few months more of what is - let's be honest here - often a boring sport in which sometimes nothing happens for entire periods? Not to mention that your team will almost certainly not win the Goblet of Stanley, which means that this whole charade of "playoffs" merely serves to delay the inevitable disappointment.

We are all pawns in a huge money making scheme for the players and a few owners.

And we're all going to die anyway, so who cares?

I feel good.

You're right. The only thing you should let affect you are your kitteh's and the high quality Raleigh meth.

 

[FlyingSquirrels]

I was going to point this out sometime, somewhere and here's as good a place as any I suppose. Things were going to hell in that first game against Washington, in Washington. If you can and want to, go and look at that break away off the bat where E. Staal gave Semin that puck and Holtby stopped it. Have a look at the expression on Staal's face immediately after. That look has been there alot prior and since. It's not one of merely frustration. I have said it before and will say it again. There are some very unhealthy and dysfunctional dynamics on this team that I believe have been there all season long for some reason. P.S. The team as a whole may not have been as good as they seemed to be early on, but that first line wasn't too shabby at all. They got figured out - basic hockey 101.

I don't think you can look at one play and determine where things went wrong. But I think we can look at one game. 3-2 loss to Washington after leading 2-0. Things haven't been right since.

And another thing, if this "core" group we have locked up for 5-10 years handles adversity this poorly, then we are in for a long and horrific few seasons.

 

[PaulProteus]

I have been a fan of some bad/disappointing teams in my life as a sports fan, but I think this one takes the grand prize.

HEADS:

I don't think the teams you've been a fan of have actually been that bad/disappointing, then. Not if this team takes the grand prize.

Let me introduce you to my friends in, or fans of: Seattle, Cleveland, Chicago, Buffalo and (formerly) Boston.

For these fans there's the possibility they'll never see a championship trophy IN THEIR LIFETIMES.

Think about that. Think about lying on your deathbed after spending thousands of hours of your life and thousands of hard-earned dollars hoping that just one ****ing time, a ball or puck would have bounced your way.



TAILS:

This organization is ****ing depressing sometimes. Between saddling us with lame contracts for non-NHL talent (LaRose) or outlandish contracts for middling players (Jokinen, Gleason, Ruutu), then hitching the entire ****-wagon to Carolina fandom's favorite villain Eric Staal, it seems absolutely hopeless at times like this.

We Like Our Group.â„¢

 

[SCanedinavian]

NorthStar you're todays winner of the Internet. That post killed it.

 

[rocky7]

And so begins the "Alex Semin has a contract so now he's stopped performing, I told you"-posts on Twitter etc, completely ignoring the fact that the rest of the team seem to have decided to just call it a season.

This was to be expected. It will take a long time to shake the very false, purposely invented and disgusting scapegoat rap that Alex Semin has endured. One must try to think and remember that those are the idiotic vocal minority. People like this tend to have a need to constantly bring things up as if to prove that their ways of seeing are correct. This doesn't only apply to hockey and Alex Semin. Those that don't have that need, are confident in their beliefs and are self confident in general don't need to constantly discuss their thinking nor seek confirmation of what they believe.
Further, even if a decent person truly feels that way about Alex Semin (to which they are entitled, as we all are in our interpretations of a player), they don't live their lives or at least their involment as a hockey fan, forever looking for every little detail of his play to fulfill their pathetic need to say; "I told you so." His new contract was another opportunity. These people are just simply fools. I clearly think he is a great hockey player and most do. Alot of those that yap about him don't have a clue. Sheeple. I get sick of it, but when put into perspective, it's understandable.

 

[rocky7]

I don't think you can look at one play and determine where things went wrong. But I think we can look at one game. 3-2 loss to Washington after leading 2-0. Things haven't been right since.

And another thing, if this "core" group we have locked up for 5-10 years handles adversity this poorly, then we are in for a long and horrific few seasons.

I was just using that as an example because when I noticed it, it seemed so obvious. Also people have been talking negatively about E. Staal alot. I'm not exactly sure what the deal is with him, but there seems to be no doubt that he has been pizzed off for quite some time. This adversity we are witnessing now is obvious but my point is, were there things going on behind closed doors that have precipitated this beyond the crappy play we are seeing now?

 

[Roboturner913]

HEADS:

I don't think the teams you've been a fan of have actually been that bad/disappointing, then. Not if this team takes the grand prize.

Atlanta Braves late 80's, doesn't get much worse than that. Unless you want to talk about the New Orleans Saints and well, the majority of their existence. Those are my other rooting interests, and yes, I still feel like this is worse.

 

[Roboturner913]

I wouldn't say mine is a "sick to my stomach" feeling. To me this feels more like when bread pops out of the toaster and you open the jar of peanut butter only to find it's almost gone and there's really not enough to spread generously over 2 pieces. There's no good alternative like jam, because someone in the house likes orange marmalade not strawberry like normal people and you didn't do the shoppin, or even worse, regular buttered toast because the butter is still cold in the package in the fridge and everyone knows that butter straight from the fridge (even cut into the thinnest of pats and placed in orderly rows between 2 slices of warm toast to melt) never really melts all the way and wind up as uneven butter blobs because it wasn't really spread like it was meant to be in the first place. Besides, the whole project was begun to meet a sudden craving of PEANUT butter toast.

So rather than settle for an alternative, you do an eyeball-estimate of peanut butter left in the jar, factor-in the difficulty you know will come, and spread just enough onto the first slice to meet the minimum threshold for satisfaction. Then you extract the last easy-to-get-at blobs and spread them on the 2nd. As expected, the 2nd slice is so woefully under-covered that to stop there you may as well have put more on the 1st slice and eat 2nd dry, but you knew this already. You knew this would happen when you did your initial estimate and still committed to 2 slices of peanut butter toast, so you get to work making it happen...scraping scraping scraping spreading scraping scraping scraping spreading....undeterred, spreading meager bits of peanut butter thinking "I WILL get at every bit!". You're rewarded with noticable progress at first, but your 2nd slice is still unsatisfactory when you reach the point...and everyone knows the point I'm talking about... where the amount of peanut butter removed per scrape dramatically plummets...

Now it's gut check time. The moment of Truth to see what kind of person you are. If you want to make any more progress with the dwindling streaks you'll have to apply more and more pressure as you scrape and dig around in there, but you're know that because you grabbed a regular table knife (way back when you thought there was plenty inside the jar) and they have those those teeny tiny serrations on the part of the edge you're using, you'll also be carving-out an increasing number of little curly-tails of peanut butter jar plastic from the inside wall as you do, and they will wind up on your toast.

Not being metrosexual enough to have bought an array of rubber smooth-bladed spatulas in order to have one small enough to get into the jar and extract the PB efficiently and cleanly, or to know where they are if your wife had snuck some into the house, and even if she had and you knew where they were around there somewhere, are you so gutless as to actually put down the knife and rummage around for it? Rummage around for a limp rubber and plastic handled spatula, something that is used to put icing on cupcakes?...

Hell no. Even with nobody looking it's already lame enough you're handling a knife that has no killing point or heft and edge that could cleave a skull or gut an elk, but at least it's a metal knife, kind of. Hopefully, you're not even aware of the spatula-option because your mind is tweaked to shoot it down prior to it even becoming a blip at the edge of your gray matter radar display. No, the most you maaaaaybe register in your mind is "Sure, if I continue to scrape harder I'll be ingesting some plastic petrochemicals", but even as you do you dig-in without outwardly missing a beat. That's right, you dig-in hard, then even harder as you embrace the notion that you have the kind of intestinal fortitude that will shrug off anything passing through your system...hundreds perhaps thousands of petrochemical solid curlytail scrapings...so what. PCBs, dioxins...whatever. A noxious cocktail sludging through your guts....you know you can handle with not so much as a blink. You want peanut butter toast and don't care what else is on there as long as the peanut butter is.

And so you scrape every bit of contaminated peanut butter out of the jar and now you have enough for the toast. And you eat it. And you like it. And it tastes extra-good...maybe even the best you ever had.. because you threw away the scraped-clean peanut butter jar deliberately into the regular garbage bin, not the recycling bin where the kind of people who would have gone for the spatula would pester you to throw it, and didn't settle for inferior orange marmalade or that goddammed cold butter either.

That's more like how I feel right now.

I can't say I quite understand the analogy, but Post of the Year, regardless.

 

[DaveG]

jesus that post, that's the stuff of legends right there

 

[TheBigKahuna]

That was a classic.

For some reason I kept imagining JR with the knife is his hand though.

 

[Swag Surf Aho]

I know the feeling. Just last night I was rather scooping away at the rest of the peanut butter jar with a spoon. No, not a spork, those imposters that will deposit more than it will carry, when it's broken platic tongs begin to coexist with the peanut butter residue

 

[Boom Boom Apathy]

For fun, Let's see if we can apply to some players. i"ll start.

E. Staal: Would go to the store for another jar. Who cares if the toast get's cold, all that scraping is hard work.
Tlusty: Definitely rubber spatula
Jokinen: Marmalade, definitely Marmalade.

 

[PaulProteus]

Atlanta Braves late 80's, doesn't get much worse than that. Unless you want to talk about the New Orleans Saints and well, the majority of their existence. Those are my other rooting interests, and yes, I still feel like this is worse.

Well, the Braves do suck I'll give you that. Thank goodness for 1995 though, right?

The Ain'ts are pretty bad as well, but at least they've never lost a SB, but have only been on the winning side.

 

[Swag Surf Aho]

Justin Faulk is the ideal knife that could cleave a skull. (see Weiss)