“Leafs in Four” (And Other Bedtime Lies)
In bars across Toronto, Leaf fans were louder than ever. “Sens? Sens?! We’re going to steamroll them,” they shouted between pints, blue jerseys stretched proudly over bellies of hope and delusion. Every conversation started with “This is our year,” and ended with someone yelling, “Leafs in four!” while spilling their Molson.
On Twitter, the bravado was nuclear. GIFs of Alfredsson crying, memes of choking emojis photoshopped onto Senators helmets, and declarations that this was finally the year they got past the first round again. “Matthews is dialled in. Marner’s cooking. Tavares is… well, he’s Tavares. Sens don’t stand a chance.”
But when the sun went down, and the bravado quieted, a different story unfolded across the city.
Behind every front door was a scene eerily familiar: a grown adult climbing into bed with a matching set of Leafs pajamas, pulling up crisp blue-and-white bed sheets featuring cartoon versions of Wendel Clark and Dougie Gilmour. A plush Carlton the Bear stared silently from the dresser. The fan would lie there, eyes wide open, a Tavares jersey clutched like a comfort blanket.
The silence was thick. Then came the thoughts.
“What if Brady scores a hat trick?”
“What if Stützle makes Rielly look like a pylon again?”
“Wasn’t Ullmark pretty good in Boston?”
“What if… we lose. Again.”
The cold sweats followed. The fan flipped the pillow. Then the blanket. Nothing worked. Even the glow-in-the-dark Leafs nightlight couldn’t fight the darkness creeping in.
The next morning, they'd wake up, put on their Mitch Marner socks, and shout “Leafs in four!” with a voice that cracked just a little. The cycle would continue.
And somewhere in Ottawa, a Sens fan smiled.
