WC: 2021 IIHF Power Rankings

[GermanNuck]

This is an absolute WC classic, will keep them updated once they’re in.

first edition:

1		FIN	Didn’t allow a single goal in 2020
2		RUS	Oh Kuch...your new hip is so sexy...
3		SWE	Nobody can stop us in a gold-medal shootout
4		CZE	Clearly, we have the best Filips
5		CAN	We’d beat the Salt Lake team – those guys are like 50 now
6		USA	Can we rename this country Latvia Placid?
7		SUI	Kneel before Zug!
8		GER	Eating kimchi and whistling Tchaikovsky
9		SVK	When we hosted, everyone breathed on each other
10		LAT	Nobody can stop us in an online vote
11		NOR	Let’s do a lockdown in the defensive zone!
12		DEN	Swedes are so smug about their shootouts
13		BLR	It’s like having dinner at your ex’s house
14		GBR	So far, this is going better than the Super League
15		KAZ	Love in an elevator, livin’ it up, we’re not goin’ down
16		ITA	Guarisci presto!

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Click to read more...

 

[Eye of Ra]

Sweden at 3 is a big joke. We are not top 10.

 

[keup257]

Always nice. Would be awesome if someone could explain the references for the slower ones of us.

 

[Antiillafire]

The Belarus one is pretty funny. I always appreciate these, even when often it’s at us slovaks expense as well

 

[JabbaJabba]

These are always great!

 

[ViD]

Why are they talking about Kuch ? He ain’t even playing here

 

[tobu]

We've got an update

1 RUS Kim Philby also spilled the secrets of the British breakout
2 GER Nothing stops Reichel, not even Kirk McLean’s stacked pads
3 SUI Meier is straight fire
4 SVK Beat up Belarus, didn’t bow to Bowns
5 KAZ Future host of the IIHF World Shootout Championship
6 FIN Oh no! We’re gonna get shut out by Norway!
7 USA And here’s to you, Mr. Robertson
8 BLR If Taylor was any quicker, we’d call him Taylor Swift
9 LAT So in Beijing, it’ll be a U.S.-Latvia final, right?
10 DEN Imagine a world where every Jensen gets a hat trick
11 NOR If Meier is straight fire, Trettenes must be on fleek
12 CZE Yay, we can’t be relegated! Yay!
13 GBR “Sheldon? It’s Adam. Can we borrow Auston?”
14 ITA On-ice vision, no – Eurovision, si!
15 SWE Should we tell the children about Salt Lake?
16 CAN As Canadians, we have one goal, and one goal only

 

[Eye of Ra]

its rene fasel himself who writes that .

 

[tobu]

We've got a third update!


1 SVK Can we just hand out the medals right now?
2 GER Beethoven’s Symphony No. 3 (“Blocked Shots”)
3 USA Bochenski ain’t what he used to be
4 FIN It’s about getting back to our identity as Moomins
5 LAT Empty nets > empty arenas
6 RUS Relations with Washington are improving, but not Great 8
7 SUI They even beat us without Oliver Zibasedin
8 SWE Froden is almost as good as Zibasedin!
9 BLR Happy to answer questions about playing Britain
10 KAZ No shootout, no chance
11 CZE For fast-acting relief, see Dr. Kubalik
12 DEN Happier ending than Hamlet
13 NOR Fun fact: the Olimb brothers never dated the Olsen twins
14 GBR If only O’Connor’s goal was in triple OT!
15 ITA Trudeau. Bieber. Fazio.
16 CAN Can we just stay in our rooms?

 

[kary]

4th edition:

1		FIN	In the warm-up, Italy trash-talked Lordi
2		SUI	How come we never beat Czechoslovakia 13-3?
3		USA	Big moustache, bigger heart
4		ROC	Sochi Bear ate Duckly again
5		GER	Kazakhstan, you can go video review yourself!
6		KAZ	Breakaways, penalty shots...we ain’t picky
7		SVK	Can still win silver if we add a 44-year-old...
8		LAT	We will beat Mexico
9		GBR	“My name is Kirk. Liam Kirk.”
10		CZE	Well, that went better than the 2006 final!
11		BLR	The week started off so well
12		DEN	“Dahm I Wish I Was Your Lover” (Sophie B. Hockey)
13		CAN	When one Connor falls, another must arise
14		SWE	Mullets have made a comeback, just like the Czechs
15		NOR	15 shots per game – if only this was Qatar!
16		ITA	When all else fails, there is lasagne

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

 

[Czechboy]

The Swede line is just mean.

We play higher ranked GB next.

I actually think some of the top nations bringing in NHL talent a day before quarters is a mistake. Takes time to adjust to big ice and disrupts chemistry.

 

[Antiillafire]

4th edition:

1		FIN	In the warm-up, Italy trash-talked Lordi
2		SUI	How come we never beat Czechoslovakia 13-3?
3		USA	Big moustache, bigger heart
4		ROC	Sochi Bear ate Duckly again
5		GER	Kazakhstan, you can go video review yourself!
6		KAZ	Breakaways, penalty shots...we ain’t picky
7		SVK	Can still win silver if we add a 44-year-old...
8		LAT	We will beat Mexico
9		GBR	“My name is Kirk. Liam Kirk.”
10		CZE	Well, that went better than the 2006 final!
11		BLR	The week started off so well
12		DEN	“Dahm I Wish I Was Your Lover” (Sophie B. Hockey)
13		CAN	When one Connor falls, another must arise
14		SWE	Mullets have made a comeback, just like the Czechs
15		NOR	15 shots per game – if only this was Qatar!
16		ITA	When all else fails, there is lasagne

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Wow we drop all the way to 7th. We will be out of the top 12 by the end of the weekend I’m sure

 

[Czechboy]

Wow we drop all the way to 7th. We will be out of the top 12 by the end of the weekend I’m sure

You have some rest. Get ready for Denmark. 3 pts would be huge.

 

[Hockeyholic]

Canada struggling this year.

 

[AstrophysicalJet]

These rankings always seem harsh on the Danes -

 

[Jumptheshark]

Canada struggling this year.

well we did send a beer league team this year

 

[Faterson]

well we did send a beer league team this year

No, you didn't. You have more NHL players on the roster than any other team, including presumably this year's no. 1 overall draft pick. Canada is just weak this year, and deserves all the flak it can get. (But it can still win gold...)