OT: 119th Obsequious Banter Thread: April Foods Day

[Striiker]

*wop hand gestures*

(Let's see if I get yelled at again.)

I can’t tell you how relieved I was to get my 23&me results back and find that I’m not actually 100% Italian. Only 87%.

There is some good in me after all.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Let’s move onto a real threat to society.
Infant clothing. The sizing method is purposely all over the place to force consumers to spend more time consuming.
My daughter’s wearing 3m pants and she’s definitely older, and she’s swimming in them. These could be 12 month pants.

When I'm in charge we are nuking this. I am never trying to shop for kids ever again.

 

[Lord Defect]

When I'm in charge we are nuking this. I am never trying to shop for kids ever again.

At least two of my kids left the hospital in 3-6 month clothes. We only bought a really adorable coming home from the hospital outfit once after the first time it was no where near fitting.

When I'm in charge we are nuking this. I am never trying to shop for kids ever again.

I’m still in charge of blowtorching right?

 

[Beef Invictus]

This is why I think they should announce something in regards to the Jersey drones. It’s not hard to say that there’s been an investigation and no nefarious deeds are being done.

And this is where you get into agencies, especially law enforcement, simply being way too jealous of information they hold. For various reasons. Some worthy, some overblown. Especially if you are the media, holy shit.

When I drop our acronym while fishing for info, the average cop freezes up and assumes I am media. I will get nothing, unless I call their PIO and go through them. I have no time for that. So I say nothing about who I am, and if they think I'm just The Public it's incredibly how much they'll tell me. What is even the point of guarding this info like that? I'm never seeking anything remotely sensitive, either.

 

[Striiker]

Let’s move onto a real threat to society.
Infant clothing. The sizing method is purposely all over the place to force consumers to spend more time consuming.
My daughter’s wearing 3m pants and she’s definitely older, and she’s swimming in them. These could be 12 month pants.

When I'm in charge we are nuking this. I am never trying to shop for kids ever again.

Just wrap kids in aluminum foil. Why are we making this difficult?

 

[Beef Invictus]

At least two of my kids left the hospital in 3-6 month clothes. We only bought a really adorable coming home from the hospital outfit once after the first time it was no where near fitting.


I’m still in charge of blowtorching right?

You know, nukes are a kind of blowtorch when you think about it

 

[Lord Defect]

And this is where you get into agencies, especially law enforcement, simply being way too jealous of information they hold. For various reasons. Some worthy, some overblown. Especially if you are the media, holy shit.

When I drop our acronym while fishing for info, the average cop freezes up and assumes I am media. I will get nothing, unless I call their PIO and go through them. I have no time for that. So I say nothing about who I am, and if they think I'm just The Public it's incredibly how much they'll tell me. What is even the point of guarding this info like that? I'm never seeking anything remotely sensitive, either.

It’s not just a neighborhood or city issue. It’s been national news for I’m not sure how long at this point. It shouldn’t be a local PD issue to make a statement anymore.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Just wrap kids in aluminum foil. Why are we making this difficult?

This will protect them in the microwave, too

 

[Lord Defect]

Just wrap kids in aluminum foil. Why are we making this difficult?

Ran out making hats.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I can’t tell you how relieved I was to get my 23&me results back and find that I’m not actually 100% Italian. Only 87%.

There is some good in me after all.

Wonderful news! Now instead of all this unpleasant talk, let me tell you how that medical data you handed over will be used in ways you don't want.

 

[Beef Invictus]

It’s not just a neighborhood or city issue. It’s been national news for I’m not sure how long at this point. It shouldn’t be a local PD issue to make a statement anymore.

What, and give up authority and jurisdiction? A lot of these guys would rather have their teeth torn out and put back upside-down and in the wrong holes.

 

[Lord Defect]

Wonderful news! Now instead of all this unpleasant talk, let me tell you how that medical data you handed over will be used in ways you don't want.

There’s so much info of me out there voluntarily, involuntarily, accidentally, on purpose, and hacked, but I still won’t go through dna testing.

Can they dna test @Captain Dave Poulin or would they have to carbon date him?

What, and give up authority and jurisdiction? A lot of these guys would rather have their teeth torn out and put back upside-down and in the wrong holes.

When the federal government steps in there’s no giving up either. It’s taken. Being that they were over sensitive sites, shouldn’t the FFA or homeland security already have jurisdiction anyway?

 

[Striiker]

Wonderful news! Now instead of all this unpleasant talk, let me tell you how that medical data you handed over will be used in ways you don't want.

That occurred to me but 1) it was given as a gift so I didn’t have much choice, and 2) unless it makes me watch a Flyers game it really can’t hurt me

 

[JojoTheWhale]

That was the most ridiculous thing I've seen here this year.

I know some horses that disagree with you.

 

[Lord Defect]

That occurred to me but 1) it was given as a gift so I didn’t have much choice, and 2) unless it makes me watch a Flyers game it really can’t hurt me

The birds will always know where you are now.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

1) it was given as a gift so I didn’t have much choice,

@Hollywood Cannon He wore the Hurts jersey, right? This is the only logical conclusion?

 

[Striiker]

@Hollywood Cannon He wore the Hurts jersey, right? This is the only logical conclusion?

Absolutely f***ing not

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

@Hollywood Cannon He wore the Hurts jersey, right? This is the only logical conclusion?

Thems the rules. Also, I got big news coming for you in the Eagles thread.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Absolutely f***ing not

I thought for sure I was getting one of these:

 

[ajgoal]

@Hollywood Cannon He wore the Hurts jersey, right? This is the only logical conclusion?

Are we all still each sending a Hurts jersey to him at the address you PMed us the other day?

It's a good way to get rid of them.

 

[DancingPanther]

Jeez thankfully it wasn't cold enough to snow today. It would be blizzarding since 8pm last night

 

[ajgoal]

Jeez thankfully it wasn't cold enough to snow today. It would be blizzarding since 8pm last night

You say that like it's an undesirable outcome. Plus, shoveling paths in the backyard for the dog because the snow is taller than her is amusing.

 

[DancingPanther]

Hopefully we have enough foil for this one

Fox News, that profile pic, and thise hashtags?

Lol I don't believe this for one second

You say that like it's an undesirable outcome. Plus, shoveling paths in the backyard for the dog because the snow is taller than her is amusing.

It is undesirable at this time as I have to work this week. I am a huge proponent of snow...

..every other week

 

[Embiid]

Some possible insight on the drones...

Security experts share startling theory about who may be behind mysterious drones in New Jersey and why

The feds have been mum about the daily drone activity in Morris, Passaic, Bergen and Hunterdon counties and beyond since the gizmos were first spotted on Nov. 18.

nypost.com

 

[Striiker]

I thought for sure I was getting one of these:

I’ve never watched The Sopranos.

To me it’s like watching a show where every character is Keith Jones.

No, thank you. I’ll pass.